Graduation!
So, I officially am the proprietor of my own, spankin' new, four year rent to own bachelor's degree. Not so suprisingly, my speling is sitll kinda iffy, and I still second-guess myself on all math problems (which could also be sings of some type of o.c.d.). But, not to worry, I can still say I learned something.
So, the deadbeat showed up with my Aunt and other Grandma. Whatever. I hear he and my mom practically cussed some white people in front of them out for having a "white is right, bow to the almighty white people" attitude with them. Basically, the white people got there late, my fam got there more than on time, and the white people were asking them to move around because they all wanted to sit together. Pretty bold move with my family. To keep it short, they said no, and told them why without the other family asking for the explanation. Wow.
I was sitting by a chick I knew and some guy I didn't, but me and the guy became best of friends, given the situation, so much so, my parents asked me if they knew him. They pronounced my name correctly, and I was happy, this girl who went before me was pretty ghetto about her yelling on stage, as were a few of the men,jumping around and all(it's just a B.S., come on now). I figured, being the dainty and refined woman that I am, I needed to do something more elegant than pumping a fist in the air or moonwalking. So, I walked to get the degree from the Chancellor on stage. Our Chancellor is pretty funny, and he's from Illinois like me, and is basically a pretty cool guy personally. So, he gives me a hug, tells me to remember what he told me and my Mom the other day, and asked me where my reindeer antler's were. I told him Don Mills tried to steal them from me, so I didn't wear them because my guard was down. Then we realized our pause was too long, and he told me he'd talk to me later. I walked two steps, and decided on a formal curtsey. The Dean of AddRan herself smiled (way to go Volcansek). I took my picture in front of an american flag, smiled for Cristina's family in the stands and gave my best, quick Grito Jaliscense, and paraded back to my seat, waving to the people yelling at me. Gotta give the public what they want.
After I got back to my seat in between Heather and Alexander, I realized I was numero 55 out of more than 600 people. Crap. So, I couldn't help it. I know they said "Ladies, no purses on the floor" but I had to. I smuggled in my smallest purse (well, smallest matching purse), which held some tissue, chapstick, and my phone. Obviously the necessities. Didn't touch the tissue or chapstick, but the phone...well...had to. I called Cristina, to see what they were up to in the stands, since they weren't sitting with my family. I called Mel and Matt, to figure out where the hell they were sitting. I called my mom, but she didn't pick up. Then I realized I hadn't made any reservations at a restaurant on the SATURDAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS at a new franchise within a HUGE mall's parking lot.
Yes, I called 411 for the number to Carrabba's Italian Grill. The broad in front of me heard me ask for Hurst, and turned around. Okay, I was trying to make it short, but the 411 broad couldn't spell Carrabba's, and she gave me the number to the one in Grapevine. So, I had to wait for them to pick up and give me the number to the other one. I had Heather remember it. I called the right Carrabba's. Remember, I'm trying to be frugal with my time on the phone. Here's the convo:
C: Thanks for calling C's, this is Victoria.
Me: Hi I'd like to make reservations.
C: Hold on while I grab the call-ahead list...(8 hours later)Sorry, it took a while to find the day, someone closed the book, today is the 17th? Right?
Me: No,the 18th. I want it for around 3:30.
C: How many people?
Me: Around 15.
C:Fifteen at the most?
Me: No.
C: How many at the most?
Me: 20.
C: Does the 15 include children?
Me: Yup, 3.
C: Do you need any high chairs or slings?
Me: Yes, a sling,
C: How many crayons and kids menus?
Me: Two.
C: What time did you want this for again?
Me: I guess 3:30, 3:45ish.
C: How about we make it for 4?
Me: Whatever, I'm just estimating what time the event will be over, and we're halfway through it now.
C: Is there a specific occasion for the dinner I can list?
Me: Graduation.
C: What's the name of the Graduate?
Me: Loni.
C: I hear some names or something being called, are you at the graduation.
Me: Uh, yeah, I'm the graduate.
C: Oh my God, so are you like on the floor?
Me: Yes I am.
C: What school are you graduating from?
Me: Texas Christian University.
C: TCU?! That's great! How hilarious is this?!
Me: Ha. Yeah.
C: Well Congratulations Loni!
Me: Thank you very much.
C: Well, we'll see you after you graduate, okay?
Me: Okay, thanks, bye.
So much for not using the phone for long. I got to the restaurant, and Victoria (who was about 9 feet tall) introduced herself, and everyone did there congratulating. I wore my hat at dinner, waiters sung me a song in italiano, my family, friends and I looked like the united colors of benetton (but don't we always). I am now an official alumni!
So, the deadbeat showed up with my Aunt and other Grandma. Whatever. I hear he and my mom practically cussed some white people in front of them out for having a "white is right, bow to the almighty white people" attitude with them. Basically, the white people got there late, my fam got there more than on time, and the white people were asking them to move around because they all wanted to sit together. Pretty bold move with my family. To keep it short, they said no, and told them why without the other family asking for the explanation. Wow.
I was sitting by a chick I knew and some guy I didn't, but me and the guy became best of friends, given the situation, so much so, my parents asked me if they knew him. They pronounced my name correctly, and I was happy, this girl who went before me was pretty ghetto about her yelling on stage, as were a few of the men,jumping around and all(it's just a B.S., come on now). I figured, being the dainty and refined woman that I am, I needed to do something more elegant than pumping a fist in the air or moonwalking. So, I walked to get the degree from the Chancellor on stage. Our Chancellor is pretty funny, and he's from Illinois like me, and is basically a pretty cool guy personally. So, he gives me a hug, tells me to remember what he told me and my Mom the other day, and asked me where my reindeer antler's were. I told him Don Mills tried to steal them from me, so I didn't wear them because my guard was down. Then we realized our pause was too long, and he told me he'd talk to me later. I walked two steps, and decided on a formal curtsey. The Dean of AddRan herself smiled (way to go Volcansek). I took my picture in front of an american flag, smiled for Cristina's family in the stands and gave my best, quick Grito Jaliscense, and paraded back to my seat, waving to the people yelling at me. Gotta give the public what they want.
After I got back to my seat in between Heather and Alexander, I realized I was numero 55 out of more than 600 people. Crap. So, I couldn't help it. I know they said "Ladies, no purses on the floor" but I had to. I smuggled in my smallest purse (well, smallest matching purse), which held some tissue, chapstick, and my phone. Obviously the necessities. Didn't touch the tissue or chapstick, but the phone...well...had to. I called Cristina, to see what they were up to in the stands, since they weren't sitting with my family. I called Mel and Matt, to figure out where the hell they were sitting. I called my mom, but she didn't pick up. Then I realized I hadn't made any reservations at a restaurant on the SATURDAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS at a new franchise within a HUGE mall's parking lot.
Yes, I called 411 for the number to Carrabba's Italian Grill. The broad in front of me heard me ask for Hurst, and turned around. Okay, I was trying to make it short, but the 411 broad couldn't spell Carrabba's, and she gave me the number to the one in Grapevine. So, I had to wait for them to pick up and give me the number to the other one. I had Heather remember it. I called the right Carrabba's. Remember, I'm trying to be frugal with my time on the phone. Here's the convo:
C: Thanks for calling C's, this is Victoria.
Me: Hi I'd like to make reservations.
C: Hold on while I grab the call-ahead list...(8 hours later)Sorry, it took a while to find the day, someone closed the book, today is the 17th? Right?
Me: No,the 18th. I want it for around 3:30.
C: How many people?
Me: Around 15.
C:Fifteen at the most?
Me: No.
C: How many at the most?
Me: 20.
C: Does the 15 include children?
Me: Yup, 3.
C: Do you need any high chairs or slings?
Me: Yes, a sling,
C: How many crayons and kids menus?
Me: Two.
C: What time did you want this for again?
Me: I guess 3:30, 3:45ish.
C: How about we make it for 4?
Me: Whatever, I'm just estimating what time the event will be over, and we're halfway through it now.
C: Is there a specific occasion for the dinner I can list?
Me: Graduation.
C: What's the name of the Graduate?
Me: Loni.
C: I hear some names or something being called, are you at the graduation.
Me: Uh, yeah, I'm the graduate.
C: Oh my God, so are you like on the floor?
Me: Yes I am.
C: What school are you graduating from?
Me: Texas Christian University.
C: TCU?! That's great! How hilarious is this?!
Me: Ha. Yeah.
C: Well Congratulations Loni!
Me: Thank you very much.
C: Well, we'll see you after you graduate, okay?
Me: Okay, thanks, bye.
So much for not using the phone for long. I got to the restaurant, and Victoria (who was about 9 feet tall) introduced herself, and everyone did there congratulating. I wore my hat at dinner, waiters sung me a song in italiano, my family, friends and I looked like the united colors of benetton (but don't we always). I am now an official alumni!