(no subject)
hey look..it's a post from me..can you believe that one?
yeah..I've definately been avoiding my journal. I'm not quite sure where I stand with myself, how I feel with certain situations, or even if this will come out how I intend it to. I've been trying lately, to avoid conflicts and just enjoy life. Some days are great and I love to be where I'm at. Others...well..I just feel as though I'm slipping again. I hate that. I'm just so confused. One day it's great, I love everything that goes on...the next I hate it here and everyone around me. It's like a retarded rollercoaster or something.
Jared and I are not together. But I feel closer to him than I ever have before. He's my best friend and I can't just give him up like everyone assumes I can. I love him more than I can een explain. This whole situation rips my heart out. I mean..I look at other guys..and talk to other guys..and I try to convince myself to move on and atleast attempt another relationship...and I can't..and I feel guilty for those thoughts even crossing my mind. I haven't met anyone that is overall what I want in someone. I mean I've met some great guys, with some great qualities, but I don't feel as though it'll work with any of them. I want my baby back. That's what it all boils down to. He still loves me..I will always love him..I mean what's the problem?
Drama. That's the problem. The little coniving half-wits we go to school with like to put their nose right into my life and cause an uproar. Most the time I let the little things roll off my back and just remind myself that I'm moving out of this shithole in 4 months and they'll find someone new to harass.
Wow..4 months. College is coming quick. I'm so excited. Nervous and annoyed as well...but I mean..it's something I need to do. And I'm so glad I'm choosing MCC. I can live out there...and be around some awesome people...and just not worry about Wolcott crap anymore.
God I hate how people make me feel sometimes. I need to stop going back to these people. I need to just say 'fuck you..you aren't going to do this to me anymore..have a nice life..see ya"
..yeah..we'll see how many times I actually do that..
ok..that's been enough ranting and bitching to go and leave my journal for another month. haha.
yeah..I've definately been avoiding my journal. I'm not quite sure where I stand with myself, how I feel with certain situations, or even if this will come out how I intend it to. I've been trying lately, to avoid conflicts and just enjoy life. Some days are great and I love to be where I'm at. Others...well..I just feel as though I'm slipping again. I hate that. I'm just so confused. One day it's great, I love everything that goes on...the next I hate it here and everyone around me. It's like a retarded rollercoaster or something.
Jared and I are not together. But I feel closer to him than I ever have before. He's my best friend and I can't just give him up like everyone assumes I can. I love him more than I can een explain. This whole situation rips my heart out. I mean..I look at other guys..and talk to other guys..and I try to convince myself to move on and atleast attempt another relationship...and I can't..and I feel guilty for those thoughts even crossing my mind. I haven't met anyone that is overall what I want in someone. I mean I've met some great guys, with some great qualities, but I don't feel as though it'll work with any of them. I want my baby back. That's what it all boils down to. He still loves me..I will always love him..I mean what's the problem?
Drama. That's the problem. The little coniving half-wits we go to school with like to put their nose right into my life and cause an uproar. Most the time I let the little things roll off my back and just remind myself that I'm moving out of this shithole in 4 months and they'll find someone new to harass.
Wow..4 months. College is coming quick. I'm so excited. Nervous and annoyed as well...but I mean..it's something I need to do. And I'm so glad I'm choosing MCC. I can live out there...and be around some awesome people...and just not worry about Wolcott crap anymore.
God I hate how people make me feel sometimes. I need to stop going back to these people. I need to just say 'fuck you..you aren't going to do this to me anymore..have a nice life..see ya"
..yeah..we'll see how many times I actually do that..
ok..that's been enough ranting and bitching to go and leave my journal for another month. haha.