Life: there and now

[angry_jezabelle]

My life has been changed radically. I attribute most of these changes to God and Jesus. I have sucessfully quit smoking (12 days :) and am living on a tighter budget. This offers me a better future. I want to live a life fullfilled. I have got rid of people that suck the postiveness out of me. I no longer haunt myspace daily. I have deleted that account when George got married. Actually he deleted me after I deleted my page..so who knows if he really did want to be friends after all thats happenned. Honestly I used to haunted by that question, but no longer does George plague my thoughts. I know I am still writing about him, cause he does still affect me. I still love the guy, but I cannot go back. I promised myself that if he broke contact one more time that I would never go back. And I wont. I've never really had a man that was good for me. All were bad choices. The best realtionship I had was with Rob, and we are still communicatiing. That relationship ended badly, but in the end we chose to be civil. After all, we were good together, it was my mental illness that got in the way. If things were different, I suppose we would have gotten back together. I suppose in some odd way I think that there's still a spark. I miss him. I miss a lot of my miltary friends. Many friends have come and gone in my life....actually all of them at one time or another. I've kinda had this sense that maybe i was meant to walk alone in this life.
This seems like a good way to end this passage.
Thanks to Jesus for making me a better person...and saving my soul.