Words of Will: ...In the shadow of death...
things with al were goin pretty cool. after our hands on lessons he started to teach me more about the pscychological side of being invincable. he told me that if one could convince themself that they were invincable that is what they would become to a degree. kinda like an i think therefore i am type thing. he started to teach me about profiling off of things like demeanor, dress, body language, eye movement, handwriting, and how a person interacts with others. this was how i came to realise that i was an open book to any enemy i might stumble across. UG had tried to teach me this stuff before but it never stuck. i didnt think i needed to know any of this cuz i thought UG would always be around to tell me. i never thought he would actually leave. after al had schooled me to his satisfaction and tested me the lessons stopped. i spent the last 4 days there at his home made shooting range out behind his house keeping my most important skill sharp. UG always perfered hand to hand combat over the use of guns but not me. in hand to hand combat you could get bruised up and then have to make exscuses for it. in a gun fight things are over much quicker and as long as you dont get shot your fine. plus i never miss anymore. after my tour of duty at als was over i went to live with my brother in DFW for a while. i got a shitty minimum wage job and blended in with the local populace well for the most part. then, to my surprise, i got a call from UG. he sounded different. i thought it was he had been gone for so long and i hadnt seen him but i quickly figured out that wasnt it. he sounded a little TO happy. energetic even. i began to wonder if he had become some peacenick hippy or a hairy krishna. it sounded like him but wasnt. he was perky. nothing like the depressed best friend i grew up with. he was going on and on about how good life was even though he was still not getting bills and shit paid. finally i up and asked him.
UG: things may not be perfect with the bills and shit but i feel great
me: dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?
UG: what do you mean? nothings wrong.
me: somethin aint right with you. are you on speed or heroin or some other happy drug?
UG: *laughing* no of course not.
me: you really dont sound like you old self and its starting to scare me.
UG: cuz im not my old self anymore. i have woken up.
me: what the fuck are you talking about dude?
UG: those new pills that my doctor gave me are amazing. i am finally happy now. i feel smarter and more efficient then ever before. hell i even met another woman.
me: sounds to me like these pills are making you a sissy pants hippie or somethin.
he went on and on about how much better he felt and was. i wasnt sure if it was this new chick makin him a softy or these stupid happy pills. see i hate pills that docs give. docs have tried different pills on me for years but none of them ever did anything. i dont like the thought of having to take a pill to be like other people. i am happy just the way i am even it that way is crazy as hell. i think pills make you live a lie and are a weakness. UG appearently didnt feel that way anymore. he had started goin off about how this new chick he met was so cool and so much like him. he said the gods had smiled on him cuz she was now single cuz her boyfriend left her. he said i didnt have to worry about her being a rebounder cuz they were gonna give eachother time before they started dating. i knew this had the potential for a cluster fuck. now i dont know about you people but when i find out that a chick was left by her boyfriend i know there has got to be a good reason. guys usually dont leave a girl unless they found someone better, their friends talk them into it, or she is psycho. so i asked UG if her ex boyfriend left her for someone else. he said no. then i asked if he left her cuz his friends told him to. UG said this guy didnt really have many friends. this told me that he was one of those lonely guys who stays with a chick no matter how bad she is untill she leaves him. this type of guy will take anything she can dish out no matter how psycho just cuz he is so pathetic he doesnt want to be alone. i told UG that this situation smelled of cluster fuck and that he was probly being used or at least lied to. then he scared the hell out of me by saying that she wasnt anything he couldnt handle. that means he knew she was a freak but didnt think that it was that big of a deal since he had been through harder things in his life. he thought that a psycho chick would be a piece of cake. he was looking at things tactically. like it was a battle plan to assault an enemy position. what he failed to realise is that in battle your emotions dont play a role but in relationship they do. i knew where this was going but he wouldnt budge. inside i hoped that this freak would be the thing that broke him and made him move back. i know that was selfish of me but i also knew that me being selfish was gonna be less painfull then this chick being a fruitloop. before our conversation was over i asked him what this chicks name was. he said her name was miriam. i wrote down everything he told me about her and was gonna run her through the system as soon as i could. i told my brother about UG being doped up on happy pills and he said that maybe they would work out and i shouldnt intervene. no help there. i was on my own on this one. no backup or nothin. now i am the type of guy that always expects the worst. when i looked up him new chick in the system, i learned that worst was a relative term. before the age of 17 shed run away from home, accused her mom of abuse, and been in a nut house. she was psycho alright and had papers to prove it. all this was just what i discovered on public record. after viewing everything about her, public and non public, i discovered it was much worse. the claim of abuse was falsified. miriam made it cuz she didnt like having to live under her moms rules. she was always lying to everyone when she was growing up about everything. she was a compulsive liar, manipulator, and often used people under the guise of friendship or worse just to get away from her family. there were reports of her being unfaithful to everybody she had ever been with and cheating on them with anything that moved short of kids and animals. i knew that this was a VERY big cluster fuck by now and i wasnt going to let my comrad in arms become her puppet. i spent a few days thinking about ways to deal with this. i settled for just being there to listen to UG if he had problems with her. i would wait for my opportunity and then spring the trap.
UG: things may not be perfect with the bills and shit but i feel great
me: dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?
UG: what do you mean? nothings wrong.
me: somethin aint right with you. are you on speed or heroin or some other happy drug?
UG: *laughing* no of course not.
me: you really dont sound like you old self and its starting to scare me.
UG: cuz im not my old self anymore. i have woken up.
me: what the fuck are you talking about dude?
UG: those new pills that my doctor gave me are amazing. i am finally happy now. i feel smarter and more efficient then ever before. hell i even met another woman.
me: sounds to me like these pills are making you a sissy pants hippie or somethin.
he went on and on about how much better he felt and was. i wasnt sure if it was this new chick makin him a softy or these stupid happy pills. see i hate pills that docs give. docs have tried different pills on me for years but none of them ever did anything. i dont like the thought of having to take a pill to be like other people. i am happy just the way i am even it that way is crazy as hell. i think pills make you live a lie and are a weakness. UG appearently didnt feel that way anymore. he had started goin off about how this new chick he met was so cool and so much like him. he said the gods had smiled on him cuz she was now single cuz her boyfriend left her. he said i didnt have to worry about her being a rebounder cuz they were gonna give eachother time before they started dating. i knew this had the potential for a cluster fuck. now i dont know about you people but when i find out that a chick was left by her boyfriend i know there has got to be a good reason. guys usually dont leave a girl unless they found someone better, their friends talk them into it, or she is psycho. so i asked UG if her ex boyfriend left her for someone else. he said no. then i asked if he left her cuz his friends told him to. UG said this guy didnt really have many friends. this told me that he was one of those lonely guys who stays with a chick no matter how bad she is untill she leaves him. this type of guy will take anything she can dish out no matter how psycho just cuz he is so pathetic he doesnt want to be alone. i told UG that this situation smelled of cluster fuck and that he was probly being used or at least lied to. then he scared the hell out of me by saying that she wasnt anything he couldnt handle. that means he knew she was a freak but didnt think that it was that big of a deal since he had been through harder things in his life. he thought that a psycho chick would be a piece of cake. he was looking at things tactically. like it was a battle plan to assault an enemy position. what he failed to realise is that in battle your emotions dont play a role but in relationship they do. i knew where this was going but he wouldnt budge. inside i hoped that this freak would be the thing that broke him and made him move back. i know that was selfish of me but i also knew that me being selfish was gonna be less painfull then this chick being a fruitloop. before our conversation was over i asked him what this chicks name was. he said her name was miriam. i wrote down everything he told me about her and was gonna run her through the system as soon as i could. i told my brother about UG being doped up on happy pills and he said that maybe they would work out and i shouldnt intervene. no help there. i was on my own on this one. no backup or nothin. now i am the type of guy that always expects the worst. when i looked up him new chick in the system, i learned that worst was a relative term. before the age of 17 shed run away from home, accused her mom of abuse, and been in a nut house. she was psycho alright and had papers to prove it. all this was just what i discovered on public record. after viewing everything about her, public and non public, i discovered it was much worse. the claim of abuse was falsified. miriam made it cuz she didnt like having to live under her moms rules. she was always lying to everyone when she was growing up about everything. she was a compulsive liar, manipulator, and often used people under the guise of friendship or worse just to get away from her family. there were reports of her being unfaithful to everybody she had ever been with and cheating on them with anything that moved short of kids and animals. i knew that this was a VERY big cluster fuck by now and i wasnt going to let my comrad in arms become her puppet. i spent a few days thinking about ways to deal with this. i settled for just being there to listen to UG if he had problems with her. i would wait for my opportunity and then spring the trap.