Back in the saddle again.
I hate aerosmith or however you spell it. Well folks it's been a while since I have logged in. I hadn't forgotten about anyone I just didn't have any events in my life that I was able to talk about here. Today I would like to touch on an ongoing subject. It is my ability to find and identify people who have the same type of psychiatric issues that I do. The other day a telemarketer called me from telecom. Her call center was in PA. After she spoke about 10 words I could tell you this much about her. She was obviously female, 19-21 yrs of age, depressed with tendencies towards compulsive behavior, issues with her father, and other than her father her living environment was very chaotic. Instead of running her in the usual circles like I do most telemarketers I took the time to be polite and let her know that I wasn't the person registered to the phone line there. She thanked me for not screaming, swearing, and hanging up and we began to talk about how she percieved the world of telemarketing. Our veiwpoints on the field were almost identical. She expressed how uplifting it had been to talk to me because I was so nice and I gave her my aim name. I could tell by the end of the call that she has the same hyper perceiptive ability to profile people that I did but was clueless as to how she was to deal with the adverse effects of it. I gave her my aim name in an effort for her to be in contact with someone that knows what it is like and can relate. We chatted online a couple days later and sure enough my initial impression of her was dead on. She was taken back by the fact that I knew so much about her by only talking about a phone service and telemarketing. Then as I probed deeper she began to tell me alot of personal things that were dead on with what I thought too. Within the last 2 months I have heard people tell me "I'm usually not this open but I am for some reason very comfortable being open and honest with you. It is strange." 5 times. All by females aged 17-22. Three of those five females had issues with their father and are sufferring from depression with compulsive behavior. Two of those females also have some type of hormonal imbalance. Coincidence? You decide. I have notice recently that I have a knack for finding these people and that I have a knack for being able to help them cope as well. Why only females? Simple. Males view these issues as a sign of weakness and are more reluctant to admit it to themselves let alone others. It is harder to gain their trust but not impossible. How do I do this? I'm not sure. It is like I just get a feeling. Like a sixth sense almost , even though I am not totally convinced that phenominon like that is real. Back when I was in preschool and elementary I began to be able to identify it in males. In junior high is where I began to identify it in females as well. Melanie was the first female I discovered it in. My efforts to help her were stifled by her immense amount of self doubt and then later by her drug abuse. Miriam was another I saw this in but my ability to read her made her feel very vulnerable triggering her panic/escape or "fight or flight" response. Her inability to fight or escape increased her panic to the point that her compulsive behavior took hold. The rest of what happened many of you have already heard about or witnessed either firsthand or from an observer position to the situation. Since Miriam case I have decided not to get so involved with those I try to help to avoid sacrificing so much of myself to that cause as I did with her. I tend to keep these friends I make at a distance now even if they live in the same city because of the volitile direction these situations could take as they did with Miriam. I got way to close to her, fell in love, sacrificed myself in an effort to help her, and thus almost ended up going down with her when she refused my help and treatment all together. Since then this distance I keep between me and these female friends has been a mandatory protocol for me. The situation with Miriam was very painful and I make all efforts not to repeat it while still being able to be there for my female friends through aim and e-mail. I also belive that people have a purpose and that this ability of miine has a purpose in life as well. My friends and family believe it is to help certain people cope with having this ability. My comrades seem to think I was given this ability to expoit the enemies of their cause. In either scenario, it functions well for the scenarios' purpose and I keep in contact with those who have it that originally helped me to cope with it. It like a super power from a comic book. It can be used for good or evil. The purpose my friends and family suggest would be the "good" and the purpose my comrades suggest being the "evil". That is unless you are focusing on the 'greater' good. Like peter parker's uncle said in spiderman, "With great power comes great responsibility." How true that is for almost every piece of fiction is somehow based on fact so I'll adopt that saying and assimilate its' message. I will always try to help others. Why? Because I know what it is like to to live with the confusion and frustration and even though those two things also have their purpose I don't believe that purpose is to cause pain or make people a prisoner of their own mind. To evolve and grow we must rise above what we once were and not stagnate in that former existence for ever.