Keep Breathing
Idk how much more i can take.
I cant wait to get out of this town. I cant wait to get out of here. I think ill kill myself if i stay here much longer.
I have so many god damn regrets.
Last years memories r coming back..and they wont stop coming.
I want u guys to read this Email i wrote a long time ago.
Hey guys,
I just wanted to thank u so much.
During the past year...a lot has happened.
I started becoming friends w/ Emilia....which meant John. And when I was Emilia's
friend i ditched u guys a lot.
I guess i was just stuck in the Glory. I am really messed up....and i was even more messed up
during those months.
And then John asked me out.....and even u guys didnt approve...u were happy for me.
And then we went through the whole prcess of us breaking up...and me crying
constantly.
And during the history fair..when i needed a shoulder to cry on....u guys were there.
Then i found out what John did..he cheated on me...and when i found out and John
went over to Sarah and ppl and told Ariel...ive never seen Ariel run faster in my life.
And then Toni offered to kill him for me.
Then graduation came...and we all know what happened at the party that night. I
wanted to hate Toni....and it was too late for John....cuz i already hated him with all of
my might. Then i thought of all Toni did for me....and i forgave me....cuz weve been
friends for years. But friends r forever and guys r whatever. And Ariel
came through for me and made me open my eyes.
And then i went away on the cruise....to get away from all of the pain....and yeah i met
this guy Alex...who actually liked me back. and when we kissed i
smiled again.
And that night all i could think of was him and
our kiss. Then that morning ditched the rest of the morning activities and we walked around the ship. We looked at the dolphins overboard....and then he looked at me and i looked at him and we were just
staring at eachother's eyes....and i noticed how happy i truly was. So then i had to leave for a while....and when i went back to the arcade....he seemed weird....and then when i
wasnt looking....he just left. I spent the rest of the day listening to music and looking
at the ocean crying.
But then after dinner i went
to the "Meditteranian Upstairs" to hang out w/ my friends. i just sat in a chair and
looked out the window...listening to music. And then i see a person walk in
the room....and yeah....its Alex. Then i guess he was talking to me cuz i see him sit across from me
and he waves his hand in front of my face.
I say very coldly "what do u want...leave me alone" I get up and walk outside....and of course like
every Jerky stupid guy...he follows. and he says "omg...whats ur deal" and i tell him
off and say things like "u ditched me....u dont even care" he says "hey...calm down ive
actually been really sick" so im like "yeah......" then i put my purse down....get up and
stand on the banister...one wrong move and would i fall into the ocean. I say "would u
like to see me jump or slip....or would u like to push me" he says "Get down from
there!" So then i turn around towards were the ocean is and put my arms out....and
he starts yelling "STOP IT...UR SCARING ME" So then of course...my bad luck kicks
in and i slip...but i made myself slip back. so i fall on the ground.
Then he since im on the floor..he kneels down and looks into my eyes....and were
like that for like 10 minutes....and im still out of breath and its so damn cold....so he
takes his jacket and puts it around me...and stuff happened...and even though i still talk to him...ive yet to see him again.
And then I went out wit Jason.....and i felt so happy again. And then...knowing my luck....he died. I miss him sooo much. Im always thinking of him...even when im having fun wit my friends. Even when im wit my boyfriend...im thinking about Jason.
And then Casey died....I COULDNT TAKE IT ANYMORE. I ALMOST KILLED MYSELF.
I ALMOST JUMPED OFF THE FUCKING BOAT..and i thank God for Alex...he stopped me...he saved me.....its good that we still talk.....i miss him too.
I MISS EVERYONE FROM LAST YEAR!!! HOW COME EVERYONE FUCKING LEFT ME?!
i hope u guys understand what im going
through and i hope u guys know that i love u and i know and believe the quote "Friends
r forever and Guys are whatever."
Dont lose faith in me guys,
Peace,
~*Tai...Or Sunshine*~ (God i miss Mr.Terry and i kept help but not being sad that
were not going back to the middle school next year)
And now though me and John r still friends...i dont really care.
Jasons death was way too much. Being without him was like being without a soul. I still miss him so...
GUYS...I NEED HELP.
I cant wait to get out of this town. I cant wait to get out of here. I think ill kill myself if i stay here much longer.
I have so many god damn regrets.
Last years memories r coming back..and they wont stop coming.
I want u guys to read this Email i wrote a long time ago.
Hey guys,
I just wanted to thank u so much.
During the past year...a lot has happened.
I started becoming friends w/ Emilia....which meant John. And when I was Emilia's
friend i ditched u guys a lot.
I guess i was just stuck in the Glory. I am really messed up....and i was even more messed up
during those months.
And then John asked me out.....and even u guys didnt approve...u were happy for me.
And then we went through the whole prcess of us breaking up...and me crying
constantly.
And during the history fair..when i needed a shoulder to cry on....u guys were there.
Then i found out what John did..he cheated on me...and when i found out and John
went over to Sarah and ppl and told Ariel...ive never seen Ariel run faster in my life.
And then Toni offered to kill him for me.
Then graduation came...and we all know what happened at the party that night. I
wanted to hate Toni....and it was too late for John....cuz i already hated him with all of
my might. Then i thought of all Toni did for me....and i forgave me....cuz weve been
friends for years. But friends r forever and guys r whatever. And Ariel
came through for me and made me open my eyes.
And then i went away on the cruise....to get away from all of the pain....and yeah i met
this guy Alex...who actually liked me back. and when we kissed i
smiled again.
And that night all i could think of was him and
our kiss. Then that morning ditched the rest of the morning activities and we walked around the ship. We looked at the dolphins overboard....and then he looked at me and i looked at him and we were just
staring at eachother's eyes....and i noticed how happy i truly was. So then i had to leave for a while....and when i went back to the arcade....he seemed weird....and then when i
wasnt looking....he just left. I spent the rest of the day listening to music and looking
at the ocean crying.
But then after dinner i went
to the "Meditteranian Upstairs" to hang out w/ my friends. i just sat in a chair and
looked out the window...listening to music. And then i see a person walk in
the room....and yeah....its Alex. Then i guess he was talking to me cuz i see him sit across from me
and he waves his hand in front of my face.
I say very coldly "what do u want...leave me alone" I get up and walk outside....and of course like
every Jerky stupid guy...he follows. and he says "omg...whats ur deal" and i tell him
off and say things like "u ditched me....u dont even care" he says "hey...calm down ive
actually been really sick" so im like "yeah......" then i put my purse down....get up and
stand on the banister...one wrong move and would i fall into the ocean. I say "would u
like to see me jump or slip....or would u like to push me" he says "Get down from
there!" So then i turn around towards were the ocean is and put my arms out....and
he starts yelling "STOP IT...UR SCARING ME" So then of course...my bad luck kicks
in and i slip...but i made myself slip back. so i fall on the ground.
Then he since im on the floor..he kneels down and looks into my eyes....and were
like that for like 10 minutes....and im still out of breath and its so damn cold....so he
takes his jacket and puts it around me...and stuff happened...and even though i still talk to him...ive yet to see him again.
And then I went out wit Jason.....and i felt so happy again. And then...knowing my luck....he died. I miss him sooo much. Im always thinking of him...even when im having fun wit my friends. Even when im wit my boyfriend...im thinking about Jason.
And then Casey died....I COULDNT TAKE IT ANYMORE. I ALMOST KILLED MYSELF.
I ALMOST JUMPED OFF THE FUCKING BOAT..and i thank God for Alex...he stopped me...he saved me.....its good that we still talk.....i miss him too.
I MISS EVERYONE FROM LAST YEAR!!! HOW COME EVERYONE FUCKING LEFT ME?!
i hope u guys understand what im going
through and i hope u guys know that i love u and i know and believe the quote "Friends
r forever and Guys are whatever."
Dont lose faith in me guys,
Peace,
~*Tai...Or Sunshine*~ (God i miss Mr.Terry and i kept help but not being sad that
were not going back to the middle school next year)
And now though me and John r still friends...i dont really care.
Jasons death was way too much. Being without him was like being without a soul. I still miss him so...
GUYS...I NEED HELP.