"If it was my last day on earth, treat it like my first, go out the way I came in...."

[angrdwrf99]

I forgot about this. I haven't written on here since 2006. Although at this point I don't feel that there was much to write about anyways. Good to see everyone is still on here doin their thing. I think i'll start writing in here again. Even though I really have nothing interesting to talk about other than my ever changing decisions, and love life. Should I update for the past two years? When we left off Kryss had vanished with no word leaving a trail of drunken bad decision making on my part. For about a year I vomited at least once a week from drinking too much. The restuarant was finally opened. I worked 90 hr weeks for a good year before I lost my mind and decided that I had to do something more with my life than be a bar manager at a restuarant. I dated around a little bit. Took an awesome trip to Cancun Mexico with Hamilton, Heather, and Carlos. I went back to England for two weeks because my brother had tongue cancer and had a huge operation. What else? I started dating Rob. Lets see, I started Goodbye Skyline with Ken & Pete. I got to see a lot of people I hadn't seen in a long time. I got a nintendo wii for christmas! I went to the beach in the summers. Had some really great times. This past spring, I lost my pop pop. That was probably the most devistating thing i've ever gone through. He had a stroke, we had to go through the whole decisions on what to do, how to treat, hospice. My brothers and I sat by my pops side day and night for about 9 days before he finally passed away. It took a toll on me for a while because if you know me, you know how much I adored my pop pop. Two weeks later, my cat Zena sneezed out a polyp from her nose. She had this operation to remove the tumor from her nasal passage. But she is doing well now, though, she does have cancer. They said they have no way of telling how fast it will grow. In the mean time she's healthy and happy so as long as shes not in pain, she's still living a good life. Which I guess brings us up to date. I decided to go back to college so in August I started back up. Rob and I after a year and a half went our seperate ways. Not really worth getting into, just something that happens. I think it was for the best considering I never really got over Kryss. As dumb as that sounds, we eventually got back in touch. I know why he stopped talking and its a long story to get into. But everyone has that one they can't shake, he is mine. So naturally, being suddenly single, I ran right to New Orleans to see him. I guess to see if I still felt the same way. We hadn't seen eachother in 3 years.... the bad news is, it wasn't wierd and It pretty much confirmed that I'm retarded in love with the boy and will probably never get over him. The good news is, I SEEN NEW ORLEANS. I wasn't there very long. I flew in Friday and left Sunday. Kryss and his family showed me all around the French Quarter. Went to the New orleans museum of art. We went to where the levees overflowed during Katrina. It was pretty sad to go see after 3 years, most of the houses aren't even gutted yet. Seeing the spray paint markings on all the houses symbolizing if bodies were found, if people were rescued, if the house was evacuated was pretty surreal. The house his family lived in at the time is not even there now. But the city was absolutley charming and my kind of place. Musicians everywhere on the streets. Not just acoustic guitars, there were drummers, singers, horn sections, tap dancers, Mimes. I can't wait to go back. I def need to do Mardi Gras! As far as the whole Kryss thing, who knows what will happen. Going back to school has been great. I have a whole new outlook on my education this time around. Seeing my options without a degree at this point is not gonna cut it. So thats my big update. I guess I can move forward from here. Everything happens for a reason. What will be will be and all that. I never cease to amuse myself with the things I do. But what I have to be grateful for is a huge support system full of friends and people that love me. I am not afraid to do pretty much anything at this point. I'm just going to work with what I got and try to stop looking at the future so much. Enjoying life as i'm living it, and maybe when things don't work out the way I hope, I won't be as disappointed. I think its going to be an interesting year. I've been staying away from bars and drinking. The last thing I need to do when i'm sad is drink myself stupid. I've been trying to get good work outs in. Really do positive things for myself. Anyways, till next time.

".....so innocent so pure, with no thoughts of insecurity. Live life to the fullest. Be what I wanna be.." Wyclef