DITL- January 31st 2011
Disclaimer: the last time I attempted a DITL was exactly 6 months ago, I got half way through the day and received a phone call that my 27 year old sister that lived 3000 miles away from me in California passed away suddenly in her sleep. So this day I felt I needed to accomplish the full DITL for myself. This is my first ever full DITL, its filled with grief, but I am on a mission in my life to take the stigma out of grief. It is ok to cry and its ok to be sad that you lost an important part of your life.
3 am January 31st, I am awake because insomnia has taken over my life. I watch an episode of house and then crawl into bed to toss and turn for the night.
I wake up to this face asking for some love, and realize I slept through everyone getting ready leaving for school/work.
weather check...yup the snow is still there...even after 7 years of living in nova scotia, I miss California winters!
decide a nice warm shower will make me feel nice and cozy
emo self portrait? check!
morning tea!
Bella looks about what I feel like today too.
we watch the world go by for a few minutes...Bella is the best therapist I have and that says a lot because I am seeing a Dr, psychiatrist, and therapist.
Check in with the husband, let him know how I am feeling today and get some verbal love. I have become some needy.
just to torture myself, I look at pictures of my sister that passed away with her daughter. (sorry for the streaky monitor)
keeping it real, this day is hard for me.
update my grief blog with a letter to my niece Nevaeh. I write her often when I think of memories of my sister and will publish them in a book for her in a few years time.
one of the reasons that I am fighting through depression/anxiety to get better, she eats the cupcake that I didn't want to eat.
cuddles with the pooch that is clearly happier with someone joyful home to play with!
we work on homework, then we read her library book, and her 2 beginning reader books. I am always in awe that my baby is 5 years old and reading! wasn't she just 6 months old?
husband comes home and brings a special treat for me!
dinner is eaten and he does the dishes! I am quite blessed!
I work on the calendar for February, marvelling how fast January flew by. My grief has given me short term memory loss, I have to write everything down!
pretty soon my whole office is going to be covered in very special artwork and I love it!
teeth are brushed...
she wants to cuddle in mommy and daddy's bed, which I don't mind at all. Read a bedtime story and give lots of kisses/hugs. I think this is my favorite part of the day, where I get to hold her close to me. I had made her promise that we can snuggle until she is 25, for some reason she drew the line at cuddling at 26!
cute husband assumes his position on the couch for nightly WoW playing.
Bella assumes the position for more cuddles and loves, so my day ends where it began in my big comfy chair.
a lot of quiet reflective time today which is kind of what I needed.
cross posted to the DITL community
3 am January 31st, I am awake because insomnia has taken over my life. I watch an episode of house and then crawl into bed to toss and turn for the night.
I wake up to this face asking for some love, and realize I slept through everyone getting ready leaving for school/work.
weather check...yup the snow is still there...even after 7 years of living in nova scotia, I miss California winters!
decide a nice warm shower will make me feel nice and cozy
emo self portrait? check!
morning tea!
Bella looks about what I feel like today too.
we watch the world go by for a few minutes...Bella is the best therapist I have and that says a lot because I am seeing a Dr, psychiatrist, and therapist.
Check in with the husband, let him know how I am feeling today and get some verbal love. I have become some needy.
just to torture myself, I look at pictures of my sister that passed away with her daughter. (sorry for the streaky monitor)
keeping it real, this day is hard for me.
update my grief blog with a letter to my niece Nevaeh. I write her often when I think of memories of my sister and will publish them in a book for her in a few years time.
one of the reasons that I am fighting through depression/anxiety to get better, she eats the cupcake that I didn't want to eat.
cuddles with the pooch that is clearly happier with someone joyful home to play with!
we work on homework, then we read her library book, and her 2 beginning reader books. I am always in awe that my baby is 5 years old and reading! wasn't she just 6 months old?
husband comes home and brings a special treat for me!
dinner is eaten and he does the dishes! I am quite blessed!
I work on the calendar for February, marvelling how fast January flew by. My grief has given me short term memory loss, I have to write everything down!
pretty soon my whole office is going to be covered in very special artwork and I love it!
teeth are brushed...
she wants to cuddle in mommy and daddy's bed, which I don't mind at all. Read a bedtime story and give lots of kisses/hugs. I think this is my favorite part of the day, where I get to hold her close to me. I had made her promise that we can snuggle until she is 25, for some reason she drew the line at cuddling at 26!
cute husband assumes his position on the couch for nightly WoW playing.
Bella assumes the position for more cuddles and loves, so my day ends where it began in my big comfy chair.
a lot of quiet reflective time today which is kind of what I needed.
cross posted to the DITL community