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I want this next week to go by super fast. This hurts too bad to be thinking about constantly, but its all that stays on my mind. PLEASE let this week go by fast. So i can just leave all of this behind. Leave all the pain behind. Right now I really need to just be focusing on Baltimore. If I keep thinking about this stuff constantly its going to kill me. I already feel dead inside. I need to keep packing and getting ready for Baltimore. I am starting a new stage in my life and I need to leave all the pain and worries here and start with a fresh palette. I need to absolutely try and FORGET what has happened here and remember I JUST graduated from highschool. I need to be proud of myself and be happy. Man is soo hard to even try to begin to think about being happy. Maybe I will go to California before I leave. Stay on the beach. I need to get away before I get away if that makes any sense. Man I keep looking at my diploma like.. did that even happen!??! Its wierd. I really dont know what to do with myself today. I cried all say yesterday. What should I do today. I dont have work, I dont have school, I dont really have anything to do but pack. My body is really weak. I didnt eat anything yesterday I drank a little water but thats about it. Thats probably why I am feeling feeling even more ivky. CRYING AND NOT EATING not a good combo. I cant believe I cried for 24 hours. My eyes are big POOFY monsters that could probably eat someone. welll thats all for now. I guess I am somewhat doing better but as soon as anyone mentions something about the situation I will probably be in tears again.
baltimore... baltimore... baltimore
baltimore... baltimore... baltimore