(no subject)
Hey live journal, it's been a while!
It's New Year's Eve tomorrow and I have to say I'm excited that the years over and about 2013. I'm excited about the party tomorrow and about seeing my friends but I'm also terrified about the new year. I like change in small increments but when your life does a complete 360 in a split second it can be a little much to handle. I'd be lying if I said everything is going to change as soon as the clock strikes 12 tomorrow night but I feel like that will be the gate way. That is when everything will start changing. I know I need to get a job and I have been trying but it's harder than it seems. I'm worried about my birthday because even though ill be turning 18 I might have to move in with my dad because we might not be able to keep our house. I love my dad but he smokes inside which makes everything smell and he can be pretty hard to handle sometimes. I look forward to getting my P's but I don't think ill be able to afford it and even if I can and get them I won't be able to afford a car. Not without a job anyway. And if I have to move after my birthday and don't have a licence or a car ill have to get a new job. But on the bright side most of the fucked up side of my family will be living in morocco. Far away from here. I miss the kids that are already there but I don't think I'd like to stay there with them. I love my family but they are crazy and the best part about not living with them is that you can see them for a day then say bye and leave. But in another country it's a little different. You can't just go home whenever you want. You're stuck there.
I think them leaving will solve a lot of my problems but ill still have plenty more and them leaving will probably create some too. I just wish I had more help to deal with things and pay for things. But I don't. My dad pays child support but I see him more than I see my mum cause shes never home. In over 4 months she has spent a total of 2 days at home maybe 3. And dad spends more money on me that she ever has I don't even remember the last time she brought me a birthday or Christmas present. She hasn't even said happy birthday to me in 3 years. If anything she should be paying child support to my dad. I wish there was something I could do to fix it. But I don't know how.
I don't feel like writing anymore so,
-A
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