All My Anger in One Night
I don't care if she's my older sister. If she doesn't care about me, I have no reason to care about her either.
The eff, you think I want to stay here forever not doing anything? I probably want to just get out of here more than you do, to have less pressure and be able to do the things I want. Have you not noticed that when I get in a bad mood I just won't do anything worth? After that suicide attempt you have already witnessed four years ago? You think I've grown out of it? For you effing info, no, I have not.
Just open your eyes already. What's more important, your rich foreigner boyfriend or your own family? All I see is your boyfriend on your mind, seeing how you enjoy going out for dinner with him instead of coming home and having it with me. You don't even ask what I had for dinner or what I've been doing, and instead go ahead and say that I was lazing. Sure, I admit that I spend some time on games, but I do try to look for jobs. My result was just none. And then you never gave me any encouraging words, but rather commands telling me to find that job. That isn't helping me out, more like dictatorship.
The down side to me is that when I'm in a bad mood, I'd rather not talk. I wish she would at least be considerate somewhere. I'm not a maid, even if I don't want to stay here for free either, but the way you say it makes it sound like I'm never anything right. This is already hurting my pride more when I'm already feeling useless. What's lower than useless? Trash? Dirt? So that's what I am? Is that it?...
I wish she'd just get out and go to Australia. I wish anyone would hire me already. I wish I could just move out. I wish everything that isn't happening because of my stubbornness. I hate it.
---
I'm glad Bro talked to me. He's particularly talkative tonight, and made me laugh a lot. Made me think about what I should do too. It's what I need. He's the perfect role model I'll always look up to. I appreciate Steph being there too, even with our differences, we still stick together. Ahhh, it hurt me when she told me that she was alone and lonely during lunchtime in school because I wasn't there anymore. Graduate soonnn. Thanks so much, guys.
The eff, you think I want to stay here forever not doing anything? I probably want to just get out of here more than you do, to have less pressure and be able to do the things I want. Have you not noticed that when I get in a bad mood I just won't do anything worth? After that suicide attempt you have already witnessed four years ago? You think I've grown out of it? For you effing info, no, I have not.
Just open your eyes already. What's more important, your rich foreigner boyfriend or your own family? All I see is your boyfriend on your mind, seeing how you enjoy going out for dinner with him instead of coming home and having it with me. You don't even ask what I had for dinner or what I've been doing, and instead go ahead and say that I was lazing. Sure, I admit that I spend some time on games, but I do try to look for jobs. My result was just none. And then you never gave me any encouraging words, but rather commands telling me to find that job. That isn't helping me out, more like dictatorship.
The down side to me is that when I'm in a bad mood, I'd rather not talk. I wish she would at least be considerate somewhere. I'm not a maid, even if I don't want to stay here for free either, but the way you say it makes it sound like I'm never anything right. This is already hurting my pride more when I'm already feeling useless. What's lower than useless? Trash? Dirt? So that's what I am? Is that it?...
I wish she'd just get out and go to Australia. I wish anyone would hire me already. I wish I could just move out. I wish everything that isn't happening because of my stubbornness. I hate it.
---
I'm glad Bro talked to me. He's particularly talkative tonight, and made me laugh a lot. Made me think about what I should do too. It's what I need. He's the perfect role model I'll always look up to. I appreciate Steph being there too, even with our differences, we still stick together. Ahhh, it hurt me when she told me that she was alone and lonely during lunchtime in school because I wasn't there anymore. Graduate soonnn. Thanks so much, guys.