[audio] - backdated to the 6th, a few hours after Kloe's post

[angha_firebird]

[A frustrated, enraged scream is heard first--sounding mostly reptillian. Then deep, rasping breaths as Aara tries to calm down.]

This has to stop. These deaths... these attacks, they have to stop!

[A strangled whimper is drawn from Aara's throat.]

What good is this doing us? We could very well be all we have left.

[The blood. The countless,

Comments

[Audio]

[stillseecracks]

[Aara screams, and Xanth thinks she's hurt. Then she talks, and he knows she is - but it's emotional, rather than physical.

Sometimes, that hurts worse.]

A--A-Aara? What's-- wh-what happened?

[Audio]

[angha_firebird]

[Ragged breathing can be heard, though Aara is forcefully trying to get that under control.]

I have to do something. I thought--here--I would finally get away from the death that constantly stayed a step ahead of me. I thought I could outrun it. But it's here, Xanth. There is pain and suffering and death even here.

[Silence falls--longer than perhaps anticipated.]

What am I to do? Sit and watch as those around me harm one another? As... more bodies fall, empty and cold and silent to the ground?

[She's shaking. She doesn't know what to do--if she can do anything. She knows so long as there is breath in her body, however, she will never allow another death to take place before her eyes if she can prevent it in any way.]

[Audio]

[stillseecracks]

[It wasn't her, then, it was someone else. Perhaps there had been a rampage by some guest or another; perhaps the pressure from the pumpkins and the ensuing chaos had just been too much.

Before he touches the page to reply, Xanth sighs. Aara is so naive.]

Y-You-- you just-- k-keep low. Keep-- keep yourself safe, h-help someone else if-- i-if you can.

People, they-- they're-- th-they do this. S-Sometimes they-- sometimes they can't help it, s-sometimes they can, but-- th-this is just-- what people do.

[There's a bitter edge to his tone, and though Aara can't see it, Xanth rolls his scarred shoulders.]

[Audio]

[angha_firebird]

[No. No, no, no. That wasn't what she wanted to hear. Anger and disbelief rise strongly from within. This? Coming from Xanth?]

Keep myself safe?

[It was likely her tone belied how little she thought of that.]

All my life I watched, helpless, as angha after angha died before my eyes. Mothers. Sister. Aunts. Best friends. The hardest was when they were younger than I. Yet I lived.

I did not live to lie low, and protect myself! I lived for a purpose! There must have been... purpose. A reason. Why I lived as a young girl. Why I survived the transformation. Why I--

[She chokes off--realizes she's crying and gasps lightly in shock. A soft sob escapes, and she realizes this is the first time she's angry with a friend. She tenses, waiting with horror and trepidation, wondering if his own anger would crop up in turn.]

[Audio]

[stillseecracks]

Th-there's-- there's no purpose to-- to anything, th-that's-- that's what I'm saying! Wh-- when people go off l-like this, w-when they-- when they just-- a-attack whoever they see, th-that's when you stay safe! I-If you don't, y-- you'll get hurt too, a-and wh-- what's the point i-in that?

[Audio]

[angha_firebird]

What if I stay safe and someone I care about gets hurt? What if... what if something was about to happen to Zhaneel again? What if I could have prevented it? What if something were to happen to you?

[She stops. She had been yelling. Angry. Hurt. She hadn't meant for that to come out, but Xanth was human. Who would protect him? Never mind she had forgotten he probably doesn't realize she can turn into a dragon.]

[Audio]

[stillseecracks]

[Xanth laughs, dry and humorless.]

I'd-- b-be fine. H-How do you think I kn-- know to... t-to lie low?

[He sighs.]

S-- Sometimes you-- you can't p-protect everyone. But-- i-if you're safe, you... y-you can help them a-- after.

[Audio]

[angha_firebird]

[Frowning, Aara takes a moment to respond. She's never had to think about protecting someone--protecting herself. She never had the need or opportunity in the past. She had bandaged up plenty of warrior angha when they returned after battles, however.]

Xanth...

[She wanted to protect everyone, though. Perhaps that was where she was going wrong. Never before had she felt so conflicted. Her decision to leave her clan had been easier than this.]

I would not be able to save everyone. I know that. That truth...is hardest of all.

[She wanted to be selfish. She wanted to make it so no one ever hurt again. That wasn't reality, though, was it? Eyes slipping closed, fresh tears course down her face, and Aara found she felt suddenly empty.]

[Audio]

[stillseecracks]

I-- I-I know. Trust me, I, I-I do.

[While he's been caught in three attacks, he's seen many more. People he love have died while he was unable to protect them. Hell, Kairi died three times, and not even when Xanth stood next to her was he able to save her.

Trust hi. He knows.]

S-So you just-- you-- you do what you c-can. B-But you can't-- stop it, n-not really, so you just... deal with it, a-as it comes.

[Audio]

[angha_firebird]

[She believed him. His tone alone made her wonder how it came to be that he understand so well. Here she was, pouring her heart out all over again, and never once did she wonder at Xanth's strength. He seemed to always keep his thoughts and worries to himself.]

You are strong, Xanth.

[Her eyes slip open, and she smiles a bit ruefully. She wants that strength. Yearns for it.]

How do you... how are you okay after seeing death after death? What must one do to keep from breaking?

[Audio]

[stillseecracks]

[Xanth wouldn't call this strength; he'd call it scar tissue. He isn't strong, but bitter and jaded.]

I...I-I don't know. It's... h-hard. A-And it's weird. B-But if you-- if you break, th-then you-- you can't-- you can't help a-anyone else. I-If you break, th-that's it, and... he... h-he wins.

[Deior wins. Anyone who'd ever tried to make Xanth break wins. He won't let them have that.

And yet, he wonders if they already do.]

[Audio]

[angha_firebird]

[After a deep breath, Aara feels something firmly click into place as his words penetrate. Winning. Breaking. No. Aara can never allow anyone to hold that over her. No one had been able to shatter everything that she was while she lived with her clan. She wasn't about to let anyone break her here. For the first time since she arrived at the Keep, Aara felt an inner strength consume her. When she spoke next, it was with head held high.]

I will not allow anyone to break me, Xanth. Not here. And not while I draw breath into this body.

[For she was more than that. She was angha. If she fell apart here, what good was she?]

[Audio]

[stillseecracks]

[Xanth lets out a sigh.]

G--Good. Y-You-- you need that, th-that kind of s....strength.

[Audio]

[angha_firebird]

[A grin curves her lips when she hears that sigh. Then she gives a half sigh of her own.]

Yes, I dare say I will. We all will.

[Yet worry still gnawed at her. Thinking of everyone here.]