Some Midnight Ranting
I always have something to say. I may not utter the words but my mind keeps on blurting these unspoken words about things I see, I hear, I smell, I taste, and I feel. (I feel. I like the sound of that.)
Just to recap what happened today, I felt jealous this morning. Genuinely jealous over something though I'm not entitled to feel that. This feeling made me realize that I'm serious with this one. How do I know? I just knew it because he made me feel this way. I surrender. Can someone tell me how much more will I surrender and how many strange emotions will I feel in this situation? I'm going nuts. And like what Adam (Levine) says, "one more fucking love song I'll be sick." I guess I like being sick.
I told a friend to choose happiness over money. I'll do that again if I have to. It was a hard lesson learned paid by tears and self esteem. Thank God I made it out alive and now I'm healing. No regrets no matter what other people say. I'm learning to be happy now. Thanks for the wounds, it made me stronger. Thanks for the pain, I learned how to be truly happy, to endure. Thanks for the dark moments of my life, I learned how to seek for God's hands when I'm in trouble.
I love. Whether I like it or not, I'm bound not just by duty or deep attraction but by love to these people. Like a knight pledge to serve his king till death, I can't turn away from them even if it costs me my life.
I am hopeful. Every night, I think about what I really want. I only want one thing. And when I talk to God, I don't ask Him to give it to me, I ask Him to make me worthy to receive that greatest blessing (for me it is the greatest). Let His will be done even if it means that I'm not to get what I'm hoping for. Waiting makes me more hopeful and being hopeful makes my faith stronger.
Tonight I'll sleep keeping all these in my heart. I'll wake up later still bearing it until the day my good Lord give what I'm hoping for. I'll never stop choosing happiness. I'll never stop hoping. I'll make my faith stronger each day through God's grace. And I'll never stop loving. I'll never stop loving even if my heart breaks and my blood drains. I won't just love with all my heart, I'll love with all my soul, with all my being. Even if I don't have much, I love with all have.
Till tomorrow. =)
Just to recap what happened today, I felt jealous this morning. Genuinely jealous over something though I'm not entitled to feel that. This feeling made me realize that I'm serious with this one. How do I know? I just knew it because he made me feel this way. I surrender. Can someone tell me how much more will I surrender and how many strange emotions will I feel in this situation? I'm going nuts. And like what Adam (Levine) says, "one more fucking love song I'll be sick." I guess I like being sick.
I told a friend to choose happiness over money. I'll do that again if I have to. It was a hard lesson learned paid by tears and self esteem. Thank God I made it out alive and now I'm healing. No regrets no matter what other people say. I'm learning to be happy now. Thanks for the wounds, it made me stronger. Thanks for the pain, I learned how to be truly happy, to endure. Thanks for the dark moments of my life, I learned how to seek for God's hands when I'm in trouble.
I love. Whether I like it or not, I'm bound not just by duty or deep attraction but by love to these people. Like a knight pledge to serve his king till death, I can't turn away from them even if it costs me my life.
I am hopeful. Every night, I think about what I really want. I only want one thing. And when I talk to God, I don't ask Him to give it to me, I ask Him to make me worthy to receive that greatest blessing (for me it is the greatest). Let His will be done even if it means that I'm not to get what I'm hoping for. Waiting makes me more hopeful and being hopeful makes my faith stronger.
Tonight I'll sleep keeping all these in my heart. I'll wake up later still bearing it until the day my good Lord give what I'm hoping for. I'll never stop choosing happiness. I'll never stop hoping. I'll make my faith stronger each day through God's grace. And I'll never stop loving. I'll never stop loving even if my heart breaks and my blood drains. I won't just love with all my heart, I'll love with all my soul, with all my being. Even if I don't have much, I love with all have.
Till tomorrow. =)