only the paper recovered
I mentioned TweetsofOld the other day, and since I am in a craptastic mood today, I have been cheering myself by reading through it. For those of you who didn't read the previous post, it's a Twitter feed that posts sentences from old newspapers (the latest I've seen was 1928).
He built a bridge and a dock, but does anyone remember that? The stuffed goat at the Elks lodge had to be fitted with stilts for a certain tall gentleman. (NY1913)
Winnie-the-Pooh, carjacker: Had he not used honey for axle grease, his drayage would not have been held up by bears. (PA 1888)
I'll have the chicken: Vagrant dogs are scarce in Dansville. A butcher in that town has manufactured a sixty-four foot sausage! (NY1875)
Zombies! G. Giroux, who took a lethal dose of sulphuric acid and drowned, has turned up all right, and is now living in Illinois. MO1875
For followers of the_phrensies: Absinthe, the most pernicious and treacherously fascinating of all alcoholic stimulants, is now banned in France.(NY1915)
Somehow I don't see Focus on the Family taking up this cause: The sanctity of the home is disturbed by the presence of meats. Flesh eaters keep themselves in a condition of brutality. NY1892
Fun quiz: HOW MANY different kinds of wrong is this? W. J. McAnally, charged with safe-blowing, tells Times Herald reporter how to become a "yegg". (TX1912)
...what? He would pick up his chicken bones and dance them upon the table, to show his wife how she would look as a skeleton. NY1899
Anticipating Douglas Adams: Observing a scaffold, he was struck on the nose by something not quite so light as a snowflake, namely, a brick. NY1883
Emperor Wu's baker, found at last: ...When Mrs Jameson sank a knife into the crust, the pie exploded with a report that was heard all over the house. NJ1905
I am pretty sure someone in my family wrote this: In need of spanking: the lackadaisical daughters who lounge about reading novels while mother washes the dishes. 1916
But you said it violates the sanctity of the home! The War is over and all restrictions on meat are off! So, go back to your meat and enjoy it. (NY1919)
Plus ça change: The success of the Yankees doesn't prove anything except that the man with the most money can own the fastest car. PA1928
This is just downright unsavory: Having stepped out for a smoke last night, Sam McElwrath heard a would-be thief calling his hog in a very low tone. TN1903
I can honestly say I have not: Who has not seen a prodigious evacuation of the bowels, at the hands of a physician, cure a case of insanity? (MI1919) [NB: I am guessing this story was about the Battle Creek Sanitarium, but the feed doesn't give links.]
I can't argue with this logic: A West Point Cadet is said to own 120 pairs of white pants. No wonder the lads take to drinking. NY1882
He built a bridge and a dock, but does anyone remember that? The stuffed goat at the Elks lodge had to be fitted with stilts for a certain tall gentleman. (NY1913)
Winnie-the-Pooh, carjacker: Had he not used honey for axle grease, his drayage would not have been held up by bears. (PA 1888)
I'll have the chicken: Vagrant dogs are scarce in Dansville. A butcher in that town has manufactured a sixty-four foot sausage! (NY1875)
Zombies! G. Giroux, who took a lethal dose of sulphuric acid and drowned, has turned up all right, and is now living in Illinois. MO1875
For followers of the_phrensies: Absinthe, the most pernicious and treacherously fascinating of all alcoholic stimulants, is now banned in France.(NY1915)
Somehow I don't see Focus on the Family taking up this cause: The sanctity of the home is disturbed by the presence of meats. Flesh eaters keep themselves in a condition of brutality. NY1892
Fun quiz: HOW MANY different kinds of wrong is this? W. J. McAnally, charged with safe-blowing, tells Times Herald reporter how to become a "yegg". (TX1912)
...what? He would pick up his chicken bones and dance them upon the table, to show his wife how she would look as a skeleton. NY1899
Anticipating Douglas Adams: Observing a scaffold, he was struck on the nose by something not quite so light as a snowflake, namely, a brick. NY1883
Emperor Wu's baker, found at last: ...When Mrs Jameson sank a knife into the crust, the pie exploded with a report that was heard all over the house. NJ1905
I am pretty sure someone in my family wrote this: In need of spanking: the lackadaisical daughters who lounge about reading novels while mother washes the dishes. 1916
But you said it violates the sanctity of the home! The War is over and all restrictions on meat are off! So, go back to your meat and enjoy it. (NY1919)
Plus ça change: The success of the Yankees doesn't prove anything except that the man with the most money can own the fastest car. PA1928
This is just downright unsavory: Having stepped out for a smoke last night, Sam McElwrath heard a would-be thief calling his hog in a very low tone. TN1903
I can honestly say I have not: Who has not seen a prodigious evacuation of the bowels, at the hands of a physician, cure a case of insanity? (MI1919) [NB: I am guessing this story was about the Battle Creek Sanitarium, but the feed doesn't give links.]
I can't argue with this logic: A West Point Cadet is said to own 120 pairs of white pants. No wonder the lads take to drinking. NY1882