shake THIS spear, asshole!
So this afternoon curtana linked to the absolutely wonderful and hilariously warped LOL Manuscripts, which is not actually about manuscripts at all (sorry, paleographers on my flist, of whom there are many) but rather devoted to making fun of the often-insane illustrations accompanying early modern printed texts.
One of the side benefits of such a website is that can alert you to the existence of texts you didn't know about, and those of you who are silly and have not gone off to LOLManuscripts can learn more about one of them.
Of course, I am a geek, so instead of the one about the touching story of the Quaker and his girlfriend who happened to be a horse, I jumped on the one about dead kings plus one king who isn't dead. The proprietor of the blog says it dates c. 1660 (as does EEBO), though the text must be earlier, as the last stanza suggests, since it makes no mention of Charles I's fate or what a 1660 audience would probably want to call his martyrdom; perhaps it got dredged up out of nostalgia. I'm guessing the date of the broadside is based on the name of the printer who was presumably active in 1660, but I don't know much about that side of the equation.
It has sort of an unfortunate title, to wit:
Fortunately the text of the ballad is free of anti-Semitic legends, so far as I can tell. It also has an amusing-yet-terrifying collection of portraits, which I reproduce below (you can see the original layout here). Richard II is the Lizard King!
When William Duke of Normandy
With all his Normans gallantly
this kingdome did subdue;
Full fifteen years of age I was,
And what ere since hath come to pass
I can report for true.
I can remember since he went
From London for to conquer Kent,
where with a walking wood
The men of Kent compassed him
And he for aye confirm'd to them
King Edwards laws for good.
Likewise I William Rufus knew
And saw the Arrow that him slew
hard by a Forrest side:
And well could tell you if I list,
Or better tell you if I wist,
who next to him did ride.
First Henry I, and Stephen knew
when no men here but I did view;
I saw them crown'd and dead
I can remember well also
The second Henries royal show
that day that he was wed.
I likewise was at Woodstock bowre,
And saw that sweet and famous flower
Queen Elenor so did spight.
I found the clew of threed again,
After that worthy Knight was slain
'twas green, blew, red and white.
I saw King Richard in his shirt
Pull out a furious Lions heart
whereby his strength was try'd,
I saw King John when as the Munk
Gave him the poyson which he drunk,
and then forsooth he died.
I markt the Barons when they sent
For the French Dolphin, with intent
to put third Henry down:
I saw the Earl of Leicester stout
(Call'd Simon Mounford) with his tent
besiege fair London Town.
And I have the first Edward seen
Whose legs I still thought to have been
a yard and more in length:
With him I into Scotland went
And back again incontinent
which hee subdued by strength.
I knew Canarvans minion deer,
And saw the fall of Mortimeer,
with all the Barons wars:
And likely was to have been shent
At Burton battel upon Trent,
where I receiv'd these skars.
Third Edward and his valiant son
By whom such feats of arms were done
I saw on Cressey plain,
Which day when bows and arrows keen
Grew scant, with mighty stones I ween
were many French-men slain.
I knew Wat Tyler, and Jack Straw,
And I the Mayor of London saw
in Smithfield which him slew,
I was at Pomfret Castle when
The second Richard there was slain,
whose death ere since I rue.
I saw when Henry Bullenbrook
The Crown and Scepter on him took
which he became full well;
I saw when Henry Hotspur he
And many Lords at Shrewsbury
were slain in battel fell.
I saw the brave victorious Prince
(Whose death I have bewail'd ere since)
Henry the fifth I mean,
And I can give you just report
How many French at Agencourt
were in one battel slain.
I saw the white and red Rose fight
And Warwick great in armour bright
in the sixth Henries raign
And present was that very hour
When Henry was in London Tower
by Crookt-backt Richard slain.
I in a Gold-smith Shop have seen
Fourth Edwards famous Concubine
whose name was fair Jane Shore;
I saw when Richards cruelty
Did put her to great misery,
and I was griev'd therefore.
Also I was at Bosworthfield
Well armed there with spear and shield,
meaning to try my force:
Where Richard losing life and Crown
Was naked born to Leicester Town
upon a Colliers horse.
To the seventh Henry then I was
A servant, as it came to pass,
to serve him at his need;
And while I did in Court remain,
I saw in the eighth Henries raign
full many great men bleed.
I as a souldier bold with him
O're Neptunes curled breast did swim
unto the Realm of France;
I help'd to ransack Bulloin Town
And many places of renown,
yet home I came by chance.
I knew sixth Edward of a childe
Whose countenance was very milde,
a hopeful Prince hee was.
I knew Queen Mary in her raign
Put Protestants to mickle pain,
and re-set up the Mass.
And (to my comfort) I have seen
Elizabeth that Maiden Queen,
Queen Maries onely Sister,
Though she raign'd four and forty years
Her Subjects shewed well by their tears
that they too soon had mist her.
I saw King James come from the North,
Like to a Star that shineth forth
to glad the peoples sight,
He brought a Salve to cure our wound,
And made great Britain safe and sound
through equity and right.
Hee was in truth a Prince of peace
And made all former jars to cease
'twixt English men, and Scots;
The English men sung merry sonnets,
The Scots did throw up their blew bonnets,
for joy of their good lots.
From him by lineal right did spring
This happy Charles our Royal King
and now to make conclusion
I wish him and his gracious Queen
And Princely offspring may be seen
until earths dissolution.
FINIS. M.P.
One of the side benefits of such a website is that can alert you to the existence of texts you didn't know about, and those of you who are silly and have not gone off to LOLManuscripts can learn more about one of them.
Of course, I am a geek, so instead of the one about the touching story of the Quaker and his girlfriend who happened to be a horse, I jumped on the one about dead kings plus one king who isn't dead. The proprietor of the blog says it dates c. 1660 (as does EEBO), though the text must be earlier, as the last stanza suggests, since it makes no mention of Charles I's fate or what a 1660 audience would probably want to call his martyrdom; perhaps it got dredged up out of nostalgia. I'm guessing the date of the broadside is based on the name of the printer who was presumably active in 1660, but I don't know much about that side of the equation.
It has sort of an unfortunate title, to wit:
Fortunately the text of the ballad is free of anti-Semitic legends, so far as I can tell. It also has an amusing-yet-terrifying collection of portraits, which I reproduce below (you can see the original layout here). Richard II is the Lizard King!
When William Duke of Normandy
With all his Normans gallantly
this kingdome did subdue;
Full fifteen years of age I was,
And what ere since hath come to pass
I can report for true.
I can remember since he went
From London for to conquer Kent,
where with a walking wood
The men of Kent compassed him
And he for aye confirm'd to them
King Edwards laws for good.
Likewise I William Rufus knew
And saw the Arrow that him slew
hard by a Forrest side:
And well could tell you if I list,
Or better tell you if I wist,
who next to him did ride.
First Henry I, and Stephen knew
when no men here but I did view;
I saw them crown'd and dead
I can remember well also
The second Henries royal show
that day that he was wed.
I likewise was at Woodstock bowre,
And saw that sweet and famous flower
Queen Elenor so did spight.
I found the clew of threed again,
After that worthy Knight was slain
'twas green, blew, red and white.
I saw King Richard in his shirt
Pull out a furious Lions heart
whereby his strength was try'd,
I saw King John when as the Munk
Gave him the poyson which he drunk,
and then forsooth he died.
I markt the Barons when they sent
For the French Dolphin, with intent
to put third Henry down:
I saw the Earl of Leicester stout
(Call'd Simon Mounford) with his tent
besiege fair London Town.
And I have the first Edward seen
Whose legs I still thought to have been
a yard and more in length:
With him I into Scotland went
And back again incontinent
which hee subdued by strength.
I knew Canarvans minion deer,
And saw the fall of Mortimeer,
with all the Barons wars:
And likely was to have been shent
At Burton battel upon Trent,
where I receiv'd these skars.
Third Edward and his valiant son
By whom such feats of arms were done
I saw on Cressey plain,
Which day when bows and arrows keen
Grew scant, with mighty stones I ween
were many French-men slain.
I knew Wat Tyler, and Jack Straw,
And I the Mayor of London saw
in Smithfield which him slew,
I was at Pomfret Castle when
The second Richard there was slain,
whose death ere since I rue.
I saw when Henry Bullenbrook
The Crown and Scepter on him took
which he became full well;
I saw when Henry Hotspur he
And many Lords at Shrewsbury
were slain in battel fell.
I saw the brave victorious Prince
(Whose death I have bewail'd ere since)
Henry the fifth I mean,
And I can give you just report
How many French at Agencourt
were in one battel slain.
I saw the white and red Rose fight
And Warwick great in armour bright
in the sixth Henries raign
And present was that very hour
When Henry was in London Tower
by Crookt-backt Richard slain.
I in a Gold-smith Shop have seen
Fourth Edwards famous Concubine
whose name was fair Jane Shore;
I saw when Richards cruelty
Did put her to great misery,
and I was griev'd therefore.
Also I was at Bosworthfield
Well armed there with spear and shield,
meaning to try my force:
Where Richard losing life and Crown
Was naked born to Leicester Town
upon a Colliers horse.
To the seventh Henry then I was
A servant, as it came to pass,
to serve him at his need;
And while I did in Court remain,
I saw in the eighth Henries raign
full many great men bleed.
I as a souldier bold with him
O're Neptunes curled breast did swim
unto the Realm of France;
I help'd to ransack Bulloin Town
And many places of renown,
yet home I came by chance.
I knew sixth Edward of a childe
Whose countenance was very milde,
a hopeful Prince hee was.
I knew Queen Mary in her raign
Put Protestants to mickle pain,
and re-set up the Mass.
And (to my comfort) I have seen
Elizabeth that Maiden Queen,
Queen Maries onely Sister,
Though she raign'd four and forty years
Her Subjects shewed well by their tears
that they too soon had mist her.
I saw King James come from the North,
Like to a Star that shineth forth
to glad the peoples sight,
He brought a Salve to cure our wound,
And made great Britain safe and sound
through equity and right.
Hee was in truth a Prince of peace
And made all former jars to cease
'twixt English men, and Scots;
The English men sung merry sonnets,
The Scots did throw up their blew bonnets,
for joy of their good lots.
From him by lineal right did spring
This happy Charles our Royal King
and now to make conclusion
I wish him and his gracious Queen
And Princely offspring may be seen
until earths dissolution.
FINIS. M.P.