defining the minimum.
Deann is fifty but looks.... adorable. Her clothes, adorable. Glasses. Curled blonde hair. Tiny little body. She's an easy athletic.
She encouraged me to go to work's yoga class by telling me the instructor gives head massages. And then encouraged me by reassuring me I could opt out. (I went and raised my hand - i heard about massages, maybe? Could i opt out? And as i listened to her bare feet pat around the room at massage time, I was afraid she'd forget it was me who opted out) she encouraged me to shop for a wedding dress and asked the helping lady at the store to not give me too much attention. Dean is probably a size nothing and one of the dresses that fit me was a size 20. Deann reassured me, it must run small.
Work holds fitness classes at lunch and after work. I went here and there... but something clicked last September and I started going all the time. And working out at home. The wellness instructor, Alan, he's very funny, fit, handsome. I avoided making eye contact with him but now I engage in awkward conversations about why my hip hurts, why I feel this in my back, what i can do about another thing. I told him my goal of just becoming "overweight"instead of "obese" and in spite of the fact that I don't look "fat" anymore, I'm 10lbs away from being "overweight."
He doesn't give many compliments. I told him I ran a 10k, he asked how long it look. I told him I did a tripod, he asked how long I held it. He told me my lunge form was "pretty good." But on the bmi scale, he told me he doesn't think i need to shoot for "normal." "With your build, if you get to your overweight goal, you're going to be a brick shit house." I'll take that.
So.... months have gone by. I can do things now, I'm stronger, more flexible, my balance is better. Deann stopped coming to classes but came to this afternoon class. In selecting a weight for an exercise, she went back to get a heavier one saying, "if RACHELLE can do it. .." I'm always extremely quiet in the classes because they're so far from my confident place, but I said, "I'm happy to define the minimum for you."
Then the after work class, I did them both. Wellness guy was showing variations of an exercise. He said, "go at your pace. If you're Chad, do what's right for Chad... if you're Rachelle, do what's right for Rachelle..." I yelled, "HEY!" And the room laughed, including wellness guy who said, "I thought that 'defining the minimum' joke was good for a whole day!"
Squat presses were next. He said, "Rachelle has perfect form." I said, "I'm uncomfortable with compliments now, Alan." And the room laughed again.
But honestly. In my heart. I don't want to be the bottom anymore. And I don't want Alan to think he needs to protect my feelings. I want to kick everyone's ass.
She encouraged me to go to work's yoga class by telling me the instructor gives head massages. And then encouraged me by reassuring me I could opt out. (I went and raised my hand - i heard about massages, maybe? Could i opt out? And as i listened to her bare feet pat around the room at massage time, I was afraid she'd forget it was me who opted out) she encouraged me to shop for a wedding dress and asked the helping lady at the store to not give me too much attention. Dean is probably a size nothing and one of the dresses that fit me was a size 20. Deann reassured me, it must run small.
Work holds fitness classes at lunch and after work. I went here and there... but something clicked last September and I started going all the time. And working out at home. The wellness instructor, Alan, he's very funny, fit, handsome. I avoided making eye contact with him but now I engage in awkward conversations about why my hip hurts, why I feel this in my back, what i can do about another thing. I told him my goal of just becoming "overweight"instead of "obese" and in spite of the fact that I don't look "fat" anymore, I'm 10lbs away from being "overweight."
He doesn't give many compliments. I told him I ran a 10k, he asked how long it look. I told him I did a tripod, he asked how long I held it. He told me my lunge form was "pretty good." But on the bmi scale, he told me he doesn't think i need to shoot for "normal." "With your build, if you get to your overweight goal, you're going to be a brick shit house." I'll take that.
So.... months have gone by. I can do things now, I'm stronger, more flexible, my balance is better. Deann stopped coming to classes but came to this afternoon class. In selecting a weight for an exercise, she went back to get a heavier one saying, "if RACHELLE can do it. .." I'm always extremely quiet in the classes because they're so far from my confident place, but I said, "I'm happy to define the minimum for you."
Then the after work class, I did them both. Wellness guy was showing variations of an exercise. He said, "go at your pace. If you're Chad, do what's right for Chad... if you're Rachelle, do what's right for Rachelle..." I yelled, "HEY!" And the room laughed, including wellness guy who said, "I thought that 'defining the minimum' joke was good for a whole day!"
Squat presses were next. He said, "Rachelle has perfect form." I said, "I'm uncomfortable with compliments now, Alan." And the room laughed again.
But honestly. In my heart. I don't want to be the bottom anymore. And I don't want Alan to think he needs to protect my feelings. I want to kick everyone's ass.