Wow
Wow, it's been a month already, and I really need to update myself on what's been going on. Probably in reverse order just cause. So this girl I had talked about last entry, we'll talk every so often, and it's really strange kind of how I feel about it. Maybe she's warming up to me? I dunno. I think I really like her, but some part of me is holding back. It could be one of two reasons. Maybe I'm not completely over Claudia, and so that part of me doesn't want to really be in a position where I've got feelings for someone else with which to confuse. The second reason could be that I'm really afraid of what could happen. She completely does not fit my profile, haha. She's not short, and not hispanic to name a few. She's also younger, which may be what I'm afraid of the most. People change the most during these formative years--and that's something that I really don't want to go through again. She's very supportive of what I do though. There have been days when people beat the crap out me emotionally with work, and she'll be there to help me through it. Though to be honest, she's not the only one I'm thankful for. I've been able to find 2 core people who have really helped me stay the course. I possibly might have found another, but we'll see.
Work's also weighing me down. Both Adam and Alan have lost my respect. I had always looked to them as role-models, but they haven't been living up to what I need them to be. This places a huge burden on me, because I must step into that leadership role. And I don't know if I'm ready yet. I've had a lot of self-doubt lately. I know it's the process to greatness, but that doesn't really help even knowing that. Luckily I've been able to find support elsewhere, and that's been great they've been there for me even though they don't need to be. I've also found support from my team, and that's really helped as well.
More later cause it's late, but for now, a neat little song :)
Hope, it's the light that strikes
that burns inside of me
It's a blinding light but somehow I can see...again
When I've lost my way
It's becoming very clear
And it's coming around again
Every now and again sometimes
I get lost on the wind of a dream
The air gets clean and the seas get wide
and I can do anything
The pain it won't even cross my mind
There is wonder in everything
The ropes get loose and the chains unbind
and I can do anything
Work's also weighing me down. Both Adam and Alan have lost my respect. I had always looked to them as role-models, but they haven't been living up to what I need them to be. This places a huge burden on me, because I must step into that leadership role. And I don't know if I'm ready yet. I've had a lot of self-doubt lately. I know it's the process to greatness, but that doesn't really help even knowing that. Luckily I've been able to find support elsewhere, and that's been great they've been there for me even though they don't need to be. I've also found support from my team, and that's really helped as well.
More later cause it's late, but for now, a neat little song :)
Hope, it's the light that strikes
that burns inside of me
It's a blinding light but somehow I can see...again
When I've lost my way
It's becoming very clear
And it's coming around again
Every now and again sometimes
I get lost on the wind of a dream
The air gets clean and the seas get wide
and I can do anything
The pain it won't even cross my mind
There is wonder in everything
The ropes get loose and the chains unbind
and I can do anything