Random, V-day, and the Dream
She's changed.
I've changed.
I've become more idealistic that I used to be.
Perhaps more innocent as well.
On Valentine's Day, Texas and I went to Dr. Feelgoods. We pre-gramed it in his car cause he's poor. But we polished off some Kettle One, after which I had remembered I had taken some Oxycodone. Not sure why we pre-gamed it since we drank more beers while we were there, but anyway no one was dancing when we got there so we had a few beers. Then decided to get the party started. I started dancing with this one girl who was probably already wasted by that point. After half a song she was just falling all over the place so I excused myself to grab another drink. After that point when I came back everyone else followed me on and the party got started. Afterwards was like a typical night, though there a couple notable things. A birthday girl challenged me to a dance-off...and failed :P Also there was this one other girl who kept calling me out and dancing with me. After a bit I noticed a ring on her finger, and the fact that she looked like she was on more than just alcohol. Then Heidi came by, but we were on our way out cause the music was getting kinda lame. While out there I ran into Clifton, Rhayfon, and Tito who had just come from Monarchy. I'm gonna have to try to go there one day soon.
Last night I dreamt of her, probably the first time in quite some time. It was a rather strange dream. All I remember was that I was in a room, looking similar to a hotel room. We had talked for a bit about stuff I can't remember, possibly because this could have been a fever delusion induced dream. I remember her asking, though, what was it that I wanted? If I had wanted her, if I had wanted to live my life with someone else. I was taken aback by the question.
"I need to know, Don. He's coming"
"He's coming now?"
*nod*
"I..."
*knock knock*
"It's you I want..."
"...are you sure? Even though I'll always be there fighting you the whole way?"
*door opens*
"Yes..."
"Hey... who're you?"
"I'm sorry..."
His sword clears his sheath. I smirk because even though I'm sitting down against the wall, I have a feeling of purpose again. Never underestimate a person with purpose. The room lights on fire as he charges me. I duck his slash and jab the handle of my sword into his middle, propelling forward. He stabs at my face, and in one smooth motion I close the distance while parrying his strike, grab his hand, then spin, stabbing him in the chest at the end of the motion. My hand bleeds from pressing against my hiltless blade. The sprinklers set off, unable to douse the fire that seemed to burn yet not destroy the room. I look back at her and the fire in her eyes. She charges at me, flailing her own sword at me endlessly. I was slightly surprised, yet not. She did say she would always fight me. This was perhaps my head's way of making it literal. With the calm in my heart, I deflect one of her attacks, and knocked her sword out of her hand. She then fell to her knees.
"I don't know why I do this... Thank you."
Ultimately I'm not sure what it all means. I think what we dream about does say a lot about our subconscious mind, but it's difficult to decipher with our conscious minds. Would I take her back? I don't know. I know she'd always fight me each step of the way, even unwillingly. Maybe it's the part of me that's saying that I should fight it anyway. If I wanted something, I would keep that end in mind and work towards it. Maybe I'll sleep on it again. It seems hypocritical of me to say that all things work out that way, and not apply it to this situation. On the other hand, it may be the case that I don't really desire it. So with that said, time to figure it out.
I've changed.
I've become more idealistic that I used to be.
Perhaps more innocent as well.
On Valentine's Day, Texas and I went to Dr. Feelgoods. We pre-gramed it in his car cause he's poor. But we polished off some Kettle One, after which I had remembered I had taken some Oxycodone. Not sure why we pre-gamed it since we drank more beers while we were there, but anyway no one was dancing when we got there so we had a few beers. Then decided to get the party started. I started dancing with this one girl who was probably already wasted by that point. After half a song she was just falling all over the place so I excused myself to grab another drink. After that point when I came back everyone else followed me on and the party got started. Afterwards was like a typical night, though there a couple notable things. A birthday girl challenged me to a dance-off...and failed :P Also there was this one other girl who kept calling me out and dancing with me. After a bit I noticed a ring on her finger, and the fact that she looked like she was on more than just alcohol. Then Heidi came by, but we were on our way out cause the music was getting kinda lame. While out there I ran into Clifton, Rhayfon, and Tito who had just come from Monarchy. I'm gonna have to try to go there one day soon.
Last night I dreamt of her, probably the first time in quite some time. It was a rather strange dream. All I remember was that I was in a room, looking similar to a hotel room. We had talked for a bit about stuff I can't remember, possibly because this could have been a fever delusion induced dream. I remember her asking, though, what was it that I wanted? If I had wanted her, if I had wanted to live my life with someone else. I was taken aback by the question.
"I need to know, Don. He's coming"
"He's coming now?"
*nod*
"I..."
*knock knock*
"It's you I want..."
"...are you sure? Even though I'll always be there fighting you the whole way?"
*door opens*
"Yes..."
"Hey... who're you?"
"I'm sorry..."
His sword clears his sheath. I smirk because even though I'm sitting down against the wall, I have a feeling of purpose again. Never underestimate a person with purpose. The room lights on fire as he charges me. I duck his slash and jab the handle of my sword into his middle, propelling forward. He stabs at my face, and in one smooth motion I close the distance while parrying his strike, grab his hand, then spin, stabbing him in the chest at the end of the motion. My hand bleeds from pressing against my hiltless blade. The sprinklers set off, unable to douse the fire that seemed to burn yet not destroy the room. I look back at her and the fire in her eyes. She charges at me, flailing her own sword at me endlessly. I was slightly surprised, yet not. She did say she would always fight me. This was perhaps my head's way of making it literal. With the calm in my heart, I deflect one of her attacks, and knocked her sword out of her hand. She then fell to her knees.
"I don't know why I do this... Thank you."
Ultimately I'm not sure what it all means. I think what we dream about does say a lot about our subconscious mind, but it's difficult to decipher with our conscious minds. Would I take her back? I don't know. I know she'd always fight me each step of the way, even unwillingly. Maybe it's the part of me that's saying that I should fight it anyway. If I wanted something, I would keep that end in mind and work towards it. Maybe I'll sleep on it again. It seems hypocritical of me to say that all things work out that way, and not apply it to this situation. On the other hand, it may be the case that I don't really desire it. So with that said, time to figure it out.