(no subject)
Title: Musical Memories
Chapters: 4/??
Author: angelzli
Pairing: Reita x Ruki, possibly more later?
Rating: PG-13? idk, read warnings
Warning: mentions of murder, mentions of rape, blood, attempted suicide
Genre: drama, angst....?
Disclaimer: lies. lies. all lies!
Summary: Reita started leading a life down the wrong path. One day he finally gets caught and is awaiting his hearing, when it finally gets here the sentencing isn't quite what he expected...
A/N: welp, here it is for those who have been reading XD sry took so long! Beta: 4evergazefan thx u!!! ~<3 previous chapters at my journal xD sry f-list, i double posted cuz idk how to link directly to my journal for community posts, bare with me *hides*
~
Reita sat in his room mindlessly strumming his bass as he stared out the window of his room. Up until about a week ago he thought his friendship with Ruki was going pretty good and that they had gotten to know each other fairly well. Then the kiss happened. Yes, that small, quick, seemingly insignificant kiss on the cheek. He didn't know why, or even how, but that small kiss turned him upside down inside. He thought he was silly for even thinking it, and it would probably scare Ruki further away but he couldn't help but hope that the quick kiss held more than just a simple 'thank you'. He knew Ruki's mind worked differently than his, and he couldn't put a finger on the meaning Ruki might have had behind it. All his mind could think about was that quick second of softness and warmth that still felt like it hadn't faded, even a week later.
Unfortunately though, he only felt more confused, and a bit hurt as he sat there playing his bass. It had been about a week since he had talked to Ruki. It wasn't for the lack of his trying though, apparently Ruki had decided to avoid him and very coldly at that. Every time Reita tried to approach him he would swiftly walk in the other direction. Reita went out of his mind trying to think of anything he could have done to make Ruki avoid him so much. As far as he knew, he hadn't done anything. Was Ruki ashamed of kissing his cheek? Did Ruki think he was mad at him for it?
He couldn't even begin to imagine what Ruki might have been thinking since that night. Whatever it was though, Reita had had enough of his avoiding him. He quickly got off his bed and placed his bass safely on its stand. He stood in front of the mirror, mumbling a few words of encouragement to the tired and distant face in the mirror. Satisfied with the determination that he built up he bolted out the door before he could change his mind. This time he was going to get answers from Ruki, he couldn't take it anymore. Even though Ruki didn't speak, his presence was always loud and clear. And lately, the silence was so deafening, it was killing him.
As he reached Ruki's room he saw a light coming through from the crack in the door. He wasn't sure why but he found himself approaching slowly and caustiously. An odd feeling twisted in his stomach that he couldn't shake. Something didn't feel right. Ruki always made sure his door was closed, and lately, making sure it was locked to thwart any attempts Reita made to get in to see him.
He stopped at the door, listening for anything on the inside. He heard a faint noise, echoing like it might have been coming from the bath. He went to call out Ruki's name but it came out as strangled whisper. He cleared his throat, unsure of why it came out that way. When he didn't get a reply Reita placed his hand on the door and slowly began to open it. He didn't want to startle Ruki into hurting him or himself.
He opened it far enough for him to look into the room. Everything looked normal, his bed made, shades drawn shut and no Ruki. He noticed the faint smell of shampoo drifting in the room, a light haze of steam whirled around in the lamp light. As he opened the door further to try and see if the bath door was open he noticed Ruki's guitar was gone. This struck him as odd unless it was something Ruki often did.
Reita felt ashamed when the realization came to in from this that he didn't really know that much about Ruki. The only thing he really knew was Ruki's music and food interests, most of the time he would just follow whatever Reita was doing. Ruki never did anything to imply he wasn't interested in whatever Reita picked for them to do that was fun. Whether it be games, movies, anime or anything else, Ruki just went along with it. He shook his head, clearing his thoughts to concentrate on his current situation.
He entered slowly, closing the door behind him with a soft click. He scanned the room again for anything that may have been different or out of place. He still couldn't shake the odd feeling that continued to wash over him, something was not right. As he approached the bathroom door he realized what he had been hearing. He froze, still a foot or so from the bathroom door. His heart pounded in his chest, sweat beading on his forehead. It was a voice, and unless there were two people in the bath with him it had to be Ruki. The voice was small, it had dropped to where he almost couldn't hear it. Reita couldn't believe it as his body unconsiously leaned in its direction, listening carefully, trying to make out the words.
"I sing, for you
For you, who continues to sparkle within my memory
Placed inside this melody is my goodbye"
Not knowing what Ruki sounded like to begin with he wasn't a hundred percent sure that it was even Ruki that he was hearing. The voice sounded strong, yet exhausted at the same time, becoming a whisper and finally fading past what Reita could hear. His muscles finally began to work again as he crept the rest of the way to the door. He could feel the steam coming through the small crack, the smell of Ruki's shampoo mixed in with it. He placed his hand on the door and slowly opened it enough to where he could see in. He was sure that if Ruki saw him he would never speak to him again, if he didn't get killed by him first.
Sweat dribbled down his nose as peered inside. He froze, eyes widening as his gaze fell onto Ruki lying in the bath. His eyes were shut, traces of tears still staining his cheeks, Reita frowned at the fact he had been crying again and he didn't know why, his heart ached at the site. Steam was still rising up and around his small body as he laid there, head barely above the water's surface. Ruki's guitar was sitting on the baths edge along with his notebook.
Reita swallowed hard, opening the door further so he could step in. Even though he could see Ruki in front of him something still didn't feel right. Ruki still didn't move, he looked so pale, head lolling just above the water's surface. And that's when Reita noticed the water. The angle he was on at the door made much of the water hidden behind the guitar. The water was dark, too dark for it to be just soap that was clouding its surface. Panic washed over him again as he approached the tub. He stood in shock, heart racing, panick freezing his body as he focused on the water. He reached down and cupped a handful of still hot water, and letting it slowly fall from his hand. His heart pounded against his chest, breathing all but stopping. His eyes widened and began to water as he realized what he was looking at. Blood, the water had been stained with blood.
"Ruki!"
Reita immediately grabbed the towel off the rod hanging on the wall next to him. He shoved Ruki's notepad and guitar on the floor, not caring if it got damaged. He reached into the water and pulled Ruki out and laid him on the bathroom mat on the floor, covering him with the towel. He fought back a sob at the site that met his eyes. Tears welled up in his eyes, chest tightening as fear raked his body. Through blurry vision he saw two slash marks in each of Ruki's wrists. Blood flowed from them freely, dripping onto the mat below. Reita took the towel and wrapped his wrists in them and tight as possible. He couldn't hold back the tears anymore as he stared at Ruki, his angelic features becoming grotesquely pale. He grabbed him up off the floor, hugging his still warm body close as he stood up. He ran as fast as he could while carrying Ruki, he had to find a nurse and fast. Tears blinding his vision, heart racing as he ran down the corridor shouting for a nurse.
Finally he ran into a nurse that had heard his shouting from the floor below. She guided Reita down the flights of stairs to a room on the bottom floor. He placed Ruki on the bed and moved away as nurses began entering the room and started to work on him. He was ushered out the room and the door closed. There was nothing else he could do for Ruki. He prayed to every deity in the universe that Ruki survive this. Reita had let loose a couple of sobs, looking down at his blood stained hands. Ruki's blood, it was all over him. He stared blankly at his hands, blood smeared he tried wiping them on his pants. Some disappeared but most of it remained. He felt in some way he could have done something sooner. If he hadn't have done whatever it was that made Ruki avoid him then maybe this might not have happened. The clock ticked, nurses came in and out but none of them would tell him anything that was going on. He felt so lost, alone and scared. He had never felt so scared in his entire short life. He just wanted to know that Ruki was ok. He was hoping beyond hope that since Ruki had been singing just before he entered the bath and that the water was still as hot as it was that he made it in time.
~~
He had been pacing in front of the door for what seemed liked hours by now. He had long since lost track of the time. He couldn't understand what was taking so long. His heart felt ready to explode, his stomach was in more knots then he knew it was capable of. Every moment that went by seemed to force his thoughts into something awful, that Ruki wasn't going to make it. He started thinking about the past several weeks he had spent with him. To someone on the outside, it may seem as though there was nothing there, a mere friendship that any two teenage boys would share. But Reita knew better than that. Ruki had become some sort of anchor for him; a new reason to care again. Both his and Ruki's family life had been forced into something neither of them could handle alone.
In unspoken ways they had both latched onto one another. Somewhere along the way Ruki got lost, his progress unknowingly spiraled out of control. Reita started praying to every deity once again that he could have one more chance. One more chance to make it right, whatever it was he did wrong. Make Ruki see he cared for him more then even he himself could understand. It scared Reita, to trust and love someone again. After the two people he cared about the most in the world basically disowned him he couldn't see opening himself up to ever letting that happen again. But with Ruki, it came so naturally, so subtley that he didn't even notice it himself til it already happened.
The one thing he wanted was to not be alone anymore. He wanted someone to be there for him as well, support him. So many times he wished his father would have done just that. When he started acting out, it was just for attention, jealousy of his father's attention to his work, and when it wasn't given, he himself spiraled out of control, lost sight of his purpose. Without even knowing it, and without Ruki doing anything special he had helped him. Helped him care again, helped him find a purpose, and that purpose was to help Ruki in return. For the first time in so long he had felt things were going right. All in the same week he had made a new friend and regained old friends.
Reita stopped pacing and faced the room hiding Ruki. He took a deep breath, running his fingers through his hair. What he needed now was a little support himself. He needed to know that he really was cared about also. He tore himself away from staring at the unopening door and walked to the payphone just outside. He called the one person he thought would be there for him, or at least hoped he would be there. To his relief, Uruha hadn't even hesitated in Reita's plea for a little help.
He hung up the phone quickly, and made his way back to Ruki's room.
As he got there the head nurse had just closed the door and was turning to head towards the nurses station. He ran up to her, qiuckly blocking her path. "Please, is he ok? Is going to be ok?!" he shouted, unable to hold back.
The nurse sighed, but finally a faint smile appeared on her lips. "Yes, you're friend is going to be ok. I can't give you any details, your not family, that's all i can tell you for now."
Reita didn't care he wasn't being given any details. He only cared that Ruki was going to be ok. Nothing else mattered. He literally felt a weight being lifted from his shoulders as he watched the nurse walk away. Ruki was going to be ok. It kept repeating itself over and over in his mind. He sighed and leaned against the wall behind him. His whole body suddenly felt tired and weak. Slowly, unwillingly, his body slid to the floor.
As he slowly began to drift into sleep, he felt a pair of arms embrace him. He didn't panic though, he had a feeling he knew who it was.
He smiled faintly and whispered "He's ok Uru--"
Uruha's arms pulled him closer, encouraging his head to rest on his shoulder. And though he didn't like the idea of Uruha seeing him like this, he just couldn't gather the strength to care.
"Shh, of course he is Rei. Sleep" was the last thing he heard as sleep over took his tired and warn out body and exhausted mind.
~
yay! chapter 4 down xD it took me awhile hehe but i hope i didnt let anyone down...and dont hate me for what i done to Ruki! i wuv him really! sry if its kinda short. lyrics in this are from ScReW's Juka ni saku ai...those couple lines just seem to fit, and really cuz i couldnt think of my own lol thx to everyone who keeps encouraging me thru this and posting xD ~<3 1 more thing, can anyone help me on WHY my lj user cut thing doesnt work? i went to here http://notagimmick.livejournal.com/146127.html and did exactly what it said but, meh, i still cant get it lol oh and before i forget, Merry Christmas to everyone!!! ~<3333
Chapters: 4/??
Author: angelzli
Pairing: Reita x Ruki, possibly more later?
Rating: PG-13? idk, read warnings
Warning: mentions of murder, mentions of rape, blood, attempted suicide
Genre: drama, angst....?
Disclaimer: lies. lies. all lies!
Summary: Reita started leading a life down the wrong path. One day he finally gets caught and is awaiting his hearing, when it finally gets here the sentencing isn't quite what he expected...
A/N: welp, here it is for those who have been reading XD sry took so long! Beta: 4evergazefan thx u!!! ~<3 previous chapters at my journal xD sry f-list, i double posted cuz idk how to link directly to my journal for community posts, bare with me *hides*
~
Reita sat in his room mindlessly strumming his bass as he stared out the window of his room. Up until about a week ago he thought his friendship with Ruki was going pretty good and that they had gotten to know each other fairly well. Then the kiss happened. Yes, that small, quick, seemingly insignificant kiss on the cheek. He didn't know why, or even how, but that small kiss turned him upside down inside. He thought he was silly for even thinking it, and it would probably scare Ruki further away but he couldn't help but hope that the quick kiss held more than just a simple 'thank you'. He knew Ruki's mind worked differently than his, and he couldn't put a finger on the meaning Ruki might have had behind it. All his mind could think about was that quick second of softness and warmth that still felt like it hadn't faded, even a week later.
Unfortunately though, he only felt more confused, and a bit hurt as he sat there playing his bass. It had been about a week since he had talked to Ruki. It wasn't for the lack of his trying though, apparently Ruki had decided to avoid him and very coldly at that. Every time Reita tried to approach him he would swiftly walk in the other direction. Reita went out of his mind trying to think of anything he could have done to make Ruki avoid him so much. As far as he knew, he hadn't done anything. Was Ruki ashamed of kissing his cheek? Did Ruki think he was mad at him for it?
He couldn't even begin to imagine what Ruki might have been thinking since that night. Whatever it was though, Reita had had enough of his avoiding him. He quickly got off his bed and placed his bass safely on its stand. He stood in front of the mirror, mumbling a few words of encouragement to the tired and distant face in the mirror. Satisfied with the determination that he built up he bolted out the door before he could change his mind. This time he was going to get answers from Ruki, he couldn't take it anymore. Even though Ruki didn't speak, his presence was always loud and clear. And lately, the silence was so deafening, it was killing him.
As he reached Ruki's room he saw a light coming through from the crack in the door. He wasn't sure why but he found himself approaching slowly and caustiously. An odd feeling twisted in his stomach that he couldn't shake. Something didn't feel right. Ruki always made sure his door was closed, and lately, making sure it was locked to thwart any attempts Reita made to get in to see him.
He stopped at the door, listening for anything on the inside. He heard a faint noise, echoing like it might have been coming from the bath. He went to call out Ruki's name but it came out as strangled whisper. He cleared his throat, unsure of why it came out that way. When he didn't get a reply Reita placed his hand on the door and slowly began to open it. He didn't want to startle Ruki into hurting him or himself.
He opened it far enough for him to look into the room. Everything looked normal, his bed made, shades drawn shut and no Ruki. He noticed the faint smell of shampoo drifting in the room, a light haze of steam whirled around in the lamp light. As he opened the door further to try and see if the bath door was open he noticed Ruki's guitar was gone. This struck him as odd unless it was something Ruki often did.
Reita felt ashamed when the realization came to in from this that he didn't really know that much about Ruki. The only thing he really knew was Ruki's music and food interests, most of the time he would just follow whatever Reita was doing. Ruki never did anything to imply he wasn't interested in whatever Reita picked for them to do that was fun. Whether it be games, movies, anime or anything else, Ruki just went along with it. He shook his head, clearing his thoughts to concentrate on his current situation.
He entered slowly, closing the door behind him with a soft click. He scanned the room again for anything that may have been different or out of place. He still couldn't shake the odd feeling that continued to wash over him, something was not right. As he approached the bathroom door he realized what he had been hearing. He froze, still a foot or so from the bathroom door. His heart pounded in his chest, sweat beading on his forehead. It was a voice, and unless there were two people in the bath with him it had to be Ruki. The voice was small, it had dropped to where he almost couldn't hear it. Reita couldn't believe it as his body unconsiously leaned in its direction, listening carefully, trying to make out the words.
"I sing, for you
For you, who continues to sparkle within my memory
Placed inside this melody is my goodbye"
Not knowing what Ruki sounded like to begin with he wasn't a hundred percent sure that it was even Ruki that he was hearing. The voice sounded strong, yet exhausted at the same time, becoming a whisper and finally fading past what Reita could hear. His muscles finally began to work again as he crept the rest of the way to the door. He could feel the steam coming through the small crack, the smell of Ruki's shampoo mixed in with it. He placed his hand on the door and slowly opened it enough to where he could see in. He was sure that if Ruki saw him he would never speak to him again, if he didn't get killed by him first.
Sweat dribbled down his nose as peered inside. He froze, eyes widening as his gaze fell onto Ruki lying in the bath. His eyes were shut, traces of tears still staining his cheeks, Reita frowned at the fact he had been crying again and he didn't know why, his heart ached at the site. Steam was still rising up and around his small body as he laid there, head barely above the water's surface. Ruki's guitar was sitting on the baths edge along with his notebook.
Reita swallowed hard, opening the door further so he could step in. Even though he could see Ruki in front of him something still didn't feel right. Ruki still didn't move, he looked so pale, head lolling just above the water's surface. And that's when Reita noticed the water. The angle he was on at the door made much of the water hidden behind the guitar. The water was dark, too dark for it to be just soap that was clouding its surface. Panic washed over him again as he approached the tub. He stood in shock, heart racing, panick freezing his body as he focused on the water. He reached down and cupped a handful of still hot water, and letting it slowly fall from his hand. His heart pounded against his chest, breathing all but stopping. His eyes widened and began to water as he realized what he was looking at. Blood, the water had been stained with blood.
"Ruki!"
Reita immediately grabbed the towel off the rod hanging on the wall next to him. He shoved Ruki's notepad and guitar on the floor, not caring if it got damaged. He reached into the water and pulled Ruki out and laid him on the bathroom mat on the floor, covering him with the towel. He fought back a sob at the site that met his eyes. Tears welled up in his eyes, chest tightening as fear raked his body. Through blurry vision he saw two slash marks in each of Ruki's wrists. Blood flowed from them freely, dripping onto the mat below. Reita took the towel and wrapped his wrists in them and tight as possible. He couldn't hold back the tears anymore as he stared at Ruki, his angelic features becoming grotesquely pale. He grabbed him up off the floor, hugging his still warm body close as he stood up. He ran as fast as he could while carrying Ruki, he had to find a nurse and fast. Tears blinding his vision, heart racing as he ran down the corridor shouting for a nurse.
Finally he ran into a nurse that had heard his shouting from the floor below. She guided Reita down the flights of stairs to a room on the bottom floor. He placed Ruki on the bed and moved away as nurses began entering the room and started to work on him. He was ushered out the room and the door closed. There was nothing else he could do for Ruki. He prayed to every deity in the universe that Ruki survive this. Reita had let loose a couple of sobs, looking down at his blood stained hands. Ruki's blood, it was all over him. He stared blankly at his hands, blood smeared he tried wiping them on his pants. Some disappeared but most of it remained. He felt in some way he could have done something sooner. If he hadn't have done whatever it was that made Ruki avoid him then maybe this might not have happened. The clock ticked, nurses came in and out but none of them would tell him anything that was going on. He felt so lost, alone and scared. He had never felt so scared in his entire short life. He just wanted to know that Ruki was ok. He was hoping beyond hope that since Ruki had been singing just before he entered the bath and that the water was still as hot as it was that he made it in time.
~~
He had been pacing in front of the door for what seemed liked hours by now. He had long since lost track of the time. He couldn't understand what was taking so long. His heart felt ready to explode, his stomach was in more knots then he knew it was capable of. Every moment that went by seemed to force his thoughts into something awful, that Ruki wasn't going to make it. He started thinking about the past several weeks he had spent with him. To someone on the outside, it may seem as though there was nothing there, a mere friendship that any two teenage boys would share. But Reita knew better than that. Ruki had become some sort of anchor for him; a new reason to care again. Both his and Ruki's family life had been forced into something neither of them could handle alone.
In unspoken ways they had both latched onto one another. Somewhere along the way Ruki got lost, his progress unknowingly spiraled out of control. Reita started praying to every deity once again that he could have one more chance. One more chance to make it right, whatever it was he did wrong. Make Ruki see he cared for him more then even he himself could understand. It scared Reita, to trust and love someone again. After the two people he cared about the most in the world basically disowned him he couldn't see opening himself up to ever letting that happen again. But with Ruki, it came so naturally, so subtley that he didn't even notice it himself til it already happened.
The one thing he wanted was to not be alone anymore. He wanted someone to be there for him as well, support him. So many times he wished his father would have done just that. When he started acting out, it was just for attention, jealousy of his father's attention to his work, and when it wasn't given, he himself spiraled out of control, lost sight of his purpose. Without even knowing it, and without Ruki doing anything special he had helped him. Helped him care again, helped him find a purpose, and that purpose was to help Ruki in return. For the first time in so long he had felt things were going right. All in the same week he had made a new friend and regained old friends.
Reita stopped pacing and faced the room hiding Ruki. He took a deep breath, running his fingers through his hair. What he needed now was a little support himself. He needed to know that he really was cared about also. He tore himself away from staring at the unopening door and walked to the payphone just outside. He called the one person he thought would be there for him, or at least hoped he would be there. To his relief, Uruha hadn't even hesitated in Reita's plea for a little help.
He hung up the phone quickly, and made his way back to Ruki's room.
As he got there the head nurse had just closed the door and was turning to head towards the nurses station. He ran up to her, qiuckly blocking her path. "Please, is he ok? Is going to be ok?!" he shouted, unable to hold back.
The nurse sighed, but finally a faint smile appeared on her lips. "Yes, you're friend is going to be ok. I can't give you any details, your not family, that's all i can tell you for now."
Reita didn't care he wasn't being given any details. He only cared that Ruki was going to be ok. Nothing else mattered. He literally felt a weight being lifted from his shoulders as he watched the nurse walk away. Ruki was going to be ok. It kept repeating itself over and over in his mind. He sighed and leaned against the wall behind him. His whole body suddenly felt tired and weak. Slowly, unwillingly, his body slid to the floor.
As he slowly began to drift into sleep, he felt a pair of arms embrace him. He didn't panic though, he had a feeling he knew who it was.
He smiled faintly and whispered "He's ok Uru--"
Uruha's arms pulled him closer, encouraging his head to rest on his shoulder. And though he didn't like the idea of Uruha seeing him like this, he just couldn't gather the strength to care.
"Shh, of course he is Rei. Sleep" was the last thing he heard as sleep over took his tired and warn out body and exhausted mind.
~
yay! chapter 4 down xD it took me awhile hehe but i hope i didnt let anyone down...and dont hate me for what i done to Ruki! i wuv him really! sry if its kinda short. lyrics in this are from ScReW's Juka ni saku ai...those couple lines just seem to fit, and really cuz i couldnt think of my own lol thx to everyone who keeps encouraging me thru this and posting xD ~<3 1 more thing, can anyone help me on WHY my lj user cut thing doesnt work? i went to here http://notagimmick.livejournal.com/146127.html and did exactly what it said but, meh, i still cant get it lol oh and before i forget, Merry Christmas to everyone!!! ~<3333