Musical Memories - 3/??
Title: Musical Memories
Chapters: 3/??
Author:
angelzli
Pairing: Reita x Ruki, possibly more later?
Rating: PG-13? idk, read warnings
Warning: mentions of murder, mentions of rape
Genre: drama, maybe others...
Disclaimer: lies. lies. all lies!
Summary: Reita started leading a life down the wrong path. One day he finally gets caught and is awaiting his hearing, when it finally gets here the sentencing isn't quite what he expected...
A/N: finally i finished the next chap yay! *pats self on back* previous chapters at my journal cuz im still new to this ljcut & dunno how to add them yet hehe xD tons of hugs to 4evergazefan for beta-reading for me!! *gives cookies* ~<3 so those embarrassing lil mistakes may not happen again xDD ~<3
Saturday morning arrived to find Reita sitting quietly on a bench out in the garden, as farthest from the hospital as possible watching the sun rise. Needless to say he hasn't been getting much sleep lately, he found this same bench every morning watching the sun rise, mind unable to let him sleep. His mind swam with questions about that night. In all honesty, Reita felt completely helpless. His heart ached for Ruki and the desire to help him only increased with the new information he got. However, he didn't know if that was possible any longer. Having his entire family murdered with Ruki possibly witnessing that and the possible rape of his mother and sister was far more traumatizing then Reita could ever have imagined. Ruki's mind was indeed in a fragile state, possibly more fragile then Reita could understand. His biggest fear was that he would do more damage then good. As he said before, he's no expert; he is only a kid himself. Reita didn't feel as if he was the one that should be helping him now.
He tried to meet with Meiko-san all week to discuss this, but she was away or in meetings and wouldn't be able to meet with him untill sometimes next week. So at least untill then he would have to manage and make the best of the situation. He had thought about trying to re-inact the events from that night, him and Ruki sat out in the garden every night. He was pleased when Ruki never protested to it, but it didn't work. It could have been anything that triggered it, the scent in the air down to his mind just simply falling onto an old memory. He was sure there was a reason that that guitar was the only personal item that Reita could find in his room. He wanted to find out the significence that guitar held. He was too afraid to ask Ruki about it, afraid he would be angry again. He didn't feel like going through that whole ordeal again, least not yet. It was progress of some sort and Reita was at least thankful for that. He wasn't expecting anything like that after just meeting Ruki.
Reita glanced at his watch then over to the parking lot, still no Uruha. He had been sitting there for a little over 3 hours now. He couldn't believe he had been that idle for so long. Normally he would be going insane from bordom. But now that he was aware of the time he was starting to fidget. He looked up to look around to see if he could spot Ruki any where when to his suprise Ruki was sitting right behind him on the same bench. He was sitting with his back facing Reita with his head hung a bit low.
"Ruki! When did you get here?"
Ruki looked up and faced Reita, giving him a weak smile, something bothering him clearly written on his face. Ruki seemed like his usual self yesterday as they were going from task to task the nurses had him doing. Reita shifted to the other side of the bench to sit next to Ruki placing his elbows to his knees. Thinking that maybe Ruki was nervous because Uruha and his friends were coming, he wanted to put him at ease. "Ruki, is there something wrong? My friends should be here soon. It'll be ok, I'm sure you'll like them" he said.
Ruki smiled, nodding his head slightly. So maybe that's what it was, he was nervous.
A moment later Reita heard his name being called. Recognizing the voice immediately he gave Ruki one last encouraging smile and a pat on the shoulder as he got up to go meet his friends.
He saw Uruha standing next to his car as the others were piling out. He was greeted with three smiles he didn't think he would ever see again. Immediately he felt the same awkwardness that he did with Uruha the day he brought him to the hospital. Sure they were here, and Reita hoped that meant he was forgiven, but deep down there was a hint of doubt he was trying to ignore. Kai quickly approached him and pulled him into a rough hug, practically knocking the wind right out of him. Uruha jumped on top of them, almost knocking them to the ground. They all burst into laughter as Uruha climbed off of them. For one shining fleeting moment, things felt like they were before. But that was until he noticed Aoi out of the corner of his eye. He hadn't joined in, though that was no surprise, however, the look that he was giving meant he had something important he needed to say. That tiny bit of doubt Reita was trying to ignore came back, and viciously. He felt a knot grow in his stomache as his smile faded. He faced Aoi, not sure if he should be the one to talk first or not. The others seemed to notice Aoi's behaviour as well as they fell back behind Reita, silently giving them room.
"Aoi..." he began, but he was cut off when Aoi raised his hand to stop him.
"Forgiven isn't a word I throw around easily, nor is it easy to get from me" he said.
Reita, understanding this completely, nodded his head.
"I want to make sure you won't go back to your old ways, I want to know that you want to be forgiven as much as I want to forgive you." Aoi's gaze never left Reita's, he bore holes into him. It actually gave Reita the chills.
Reita fought the knot trying to form in his throat. "I can promise you Aoi, I won't ever be going back to that life, I know the mistakes I made and paying for. I want you to forgive me as much as you want to forgive me. I know I have to earn it...from all of you" he said, looking around to the others. Kai came up behind him and patted his shoulder, giving him a bright encouraging smile, Reita almost had no choice but to return. Uruha joined in on the other side, smiling. All three looked to Aoi expectantly hope in their eyes that Reita's words were good enough. Finally, Reita felt himself breathe again as Aoi smiled and joined the three in a group hug.
"Come on, there's someone I want guys to meet" Reita said as he broke the circle. But instead, Reita found his smile slowly fading once again as he turned around and noticed Ruki wasn't on the bench they had shared just a few moments ago.
Kai walked up behind him and placed a hand on his shoulders, "what's wrong?" he asked, his eyes trying to catch what Reita was looking for.
Reita didn't reply, he just looked around the garden but Ruki was nowhere in sight. He walked towards the bench, the others following silently, not sure of what was going on. He stopped and looked down where Ruki had been sitting as if expecting something to be there to tell him where he went. Seeing nothing and still no sign of Ruki he began to walk towards the hospital. He could feel the others gazes on him, feeling guilty for not letting them know what was happening he turned and quickly told them he be back in a few, ignoring their perplexed looks.
He reached the top floor just in time to see Ruki disappear into his room. Reita quickened his pace, reaching the door in no time. He quietly knocked, expecting Ruki to open the door. Silence was the only thing that greeted him as he continued to lightly knock on the door. "Ruki," he whispered "I know you're in there, please open the door? Why did you leave, I wanted you to meet some friends. I think you would like them Ruki. Ruki, please open the door."
Despite all efforts, Ruki still wouldn't open the door. Defeated, Reita made his way back down to the garden to his friends who were waiting.
It seemed they got a little bored waiting, they weren't at the bench Reita left them at. Heart racing a bit he scanned the garden, stopping at the direction of the parking lot. He could see half of Uruha sticking out the back of his car while Aoi and Kai were leaning against the side, talking. Reita smiled, walking up to them, stopping just as Uruha came out of the back of the car. His eyes widened in surprise as he realized Uruha was holding his bass. He lunged forward grabbing it from his friend almost too eagerly. He held it in his hands, caressing it lovingly. It had been so long, it was almost the same feeling as being rejoined with the friends he had standing in front of him. His bass was his friend, sadly neglected and forgotten like everything else in his life worth caring for. "Uruha, w-where...how did you get this?"
Uruha's smiled faded, shifting his weight from one foot to the other uncomfortably. "Well...the other day, I just happened to be driving by your house and..." he hesitated a moment, looking at Kai and Aoi, "I saw it outside...leaning against one of the trash cans in your drive way. Along with what looked like to be a lot your things" he finished quietly.
Reita blinked a few times. Slowly the realization came to him of what must have happened. New anger began to boil inside him. His father knew how much his bass had meant to him, yet he was willing to throw that and all the memories him and his father had with it into the garbage. He fought the few tears stinging at the corners of his eyes at remembering his bass wasn't the only thing in the room he was keeping safe. Several things of his mothers that he managed to hide before his father threw everything out was hiding amongst his things. He hated her leaving him behind, but he still loved her. So it seemed his father didn't want any memory of him being there either, just like with his mother when she left. He couldn't understand why his father was doing this. It was like he was trying completely erase the fact that he had a family. Reita sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly "It's not your fault Uru, thanks...ya know...for saving it".
Uruha's smile returned, as well as Kai and Aoi's, though not as they were before. There was a bit of uncertainty in their eyes. Reita couldn't help but feel bad for them, things weren't going as planned. Well, he didn't really have much planned, but smiles were the biggest part of the picture and so far theres been few. He just wanted to have fun for the day and start repairing a friendship he thought was long since gone.
They spent the rest of the day in the garden. Talking, laughing and reminiscing. Reita couldn't help but play a few songs on his bass as he missed it so much as they talked. Uruha cracking jokes as Aoi called him immature. Reita just laughed as the two kept bickering back and forth while Kai acted as referee. For awhile, things felt like they did before. He could finally be at ease looking at their smiling faces and was able to enjoy himself. Occasionally tho, Reita would look up to the sixth floor of the hospital, wondering what Ruki was doing. With the lack of personal things in his room Reita knew it couldn't be much. He just couldn't imagine what it felt like to be him, and it made it so much harder to understand what was going on. He tried not to think about it as much as possible as he was on a great path at repairing his friendships. However, after a while the others noticed his constant glancing up at the hospital and his occasional staring off into space.
Uruha lost his patience with not knowing what was going on. He got up off the ground pulling Reita with him and dragged him over to his car.
"Ok, tell me whats going on" he said, backing Reita up against the car.
Reita was a bit confused, he didn't think he had been that obvious "What are you talking about Uru?"
Uruha sighed and shook his head "Rei...we may not have talked for a while but that doesn't mean I can't tell when somethings wrong! Is it that kid you were talking about earlier, the one you wanted us to meet?"
Uruha being the pushy nosey one he was known to be, Reita knew he wasn't getting out of this without telling him. Slowly he began to tell Uruha what had been happening since he arrived. Everything, from beginning to end, his thoughts, worries, all of it. By the time he had finished he noticed Kai and Aoi had joined them at some point. Silence fell on them as they all took in Reita's story. In a way Reita felt he betrayed Ruki's secret, it made him feel very guilty, like the clean slate he was trying to create was some how tarnished once again. But he trusted the others, and if he didn't get some other input on this he felt he was going to go crazy. He didn't know what else to say, he had opened himself up to his friends, hoping they could help in any way. As he looked into their faces though, they looked just has lost as he did.
Aoi shifted, glancing over to the hospital "From what I understand, some how, in some way, music means something to him. With nothing left in his life, it could be everything to him. Does he play the guitar himself?"
Reita shook his head "Not that I've heard, nor has anyone said they've heard him play".
"What about that Hiroto guy? He didn't say anything about it?" Kai asked.
Reita again shook his head, rubbing his temples to try and persuade his approaching headache to go away.
Aoi crossed his arms, looking thoughtfully back at the hospital again. "Well, he's going to have trust issues, obviously. No one could possibly go through that and trust easily again. Apparently what's left of his family has abandoned him if what that Hiroto person said was true..."
"And this place assigning him 'friends'" Kai cut in, ignoring the death glare from Aoi, "probably isn't helping either. He needs someone to be there for him...no matter what. Even though you...lost your way, we know you can be a fierce friend."
"As I was saying, "Aoi began again, glaring at Kai, daring him to interupt again "Maybe the guitar he has belonged to someone in his family, maybe his father. Though I can't understand why that would be the only personal thing he owns.
They all fell back into silence as they mauled over more of their own theories in their heads.
"Just be his friend Reita, thats all you can do. Really, thats all you should do. Don't put any thought into this other than being his friend, cause if you do, you could end up doing more bad than good." Uruha said, finally speaking up since confronting Reita.
He knew they all made sense, and he wished it was that easy. It still couldn't stop him from thinking he should be doing something. But for now, thats all he could do.
"Either way," Aoi spoke again, "no sense in rushing it. It's late Reita, we better being going". And with that, they all exchanged their goodbyes. Kai wishing him good luck with Ruki as he almost squished the life out of him again.
He waited as Uruha drove around the corner then picked up his bass and walked back into the hospital. His mind no better then it was before, but he did feel a bit of a weight lifted from his shoulders at telling his friends whats been going on. For the time being, the only thing he would be able to do was just be friends with Ruki. It sounds lame maybe, but thats the only thing he has to offer right now. Ruki needed to know someone isn't going to leave him when things get tough. He hoped that next time Ruki would be willing to meet his friends. Even though none of them met Ruki yet, he could see the concern in their eyes. Maybe it was just for Reita cause they could tell how much this bothered him, but he liked to think most of their concern was for Ruki cause he needed it the most.
Reita stopped suddenly as he reached his floor as his eyes fell upon Ruki sitting on the top step, head leaning against the railing, tear trails staining his cheeks. Not sure what to do he sat down next to him, not saying anything, hoping maybe Ruki might provide the answer without being asked. As he sat there though, it didn't look like he would be getting one. He didn't know exactly why Ruki didn't want to meet his friends, but he had a feeling fear and his trust issues played a huge part.
"It's ok Ruki, I'm not mad or anything if that's what your worried about. I'm just sorry you weren't feeling well enough to meet them, maybe next weekend, ne? If your feeling better that is" he said, smiling, playing it off as if the reason was that he was sick.
Ruki looked back at him with surprise and confusion reflecting in his eyes. He looked thoughtful for a moment, but a smile soon appeared onto his face, almost like he was suddenly a different person. Reita loved it when he smiled, it was an infectious smile like Kai's, one you couldn't help to return. He loved the way his eyes would sparkle and how his left eye would crease more then his right.
They continued to sit on the stairs, mindlessly staring off into space. The smile never left Ruki's face, all traces of tears long gone. Neither broke the silence, each others presence was all that was needed and it was silently understood.
Finally, Ruki stood, pausing after turning to face the next set of stairs that would take him to his floor. Just as Reita was about to ask him if anything was wrong Ruki leaned down and placed a quick kiss on Reita cheek, so quick Reita almost thought it didn't happen. And without waiting for Reita to respond, Ruki rushed up the flights stairs that led to his room, leaving Reita in a daze and a very obvious blush running across his cheeks.
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well, there it is. sry for the wait xD had so much to do last couple weeks! Diru is awesome in concert btw, just thought id add that. ok, back on topic hehe lil more dialog, dunno how good it is. and im trying to work my brain into being more...er...descriptive? remember, its my first fic so comments and criticism is definitely welcomed xDDD
~<3