A Twist Of Fate Part 2
2006
Wednesday starts off as normal as any Wednesday can and his first two classes go well. Then it’s time for Psych Disorders 101 and there is Jared, at the front of the class just like on Monday talking with the teacher. When Jared spots him he smiles but makes no attempt to come over and engage him and it helps settle his nerves. Class goes much as it had on Monday minus the introductory bit and he takes many notes. When the lecture is over he gets nervous again as the teacher releases them. He waits for some of the other students to talk to Jared and Jared appears to answer them all rather quickly as he makes his way over. They seem to take the hint and soon it’s just him and Jared as the last stragglers leave.
“So Ross, how does the schedule look?” Jared smiles at him and he flips open his note book and pretends to study it hard.
“Very busy but, I think there was a cancelation and I can fit you in.”
“Ah, fate strikes again,” Jared looks heavenward for a moment. “Do you think we could do drinks again?”
“That sounds fine as long as I’m home before curfew,” he looks at his watch and taps it with a finger for emphasis.
“Oh will you turn into a pumpkin if I keep you out too late?” Jared’s eyes sparkle as he smiles, wide enough it looks like it might start hurting at any moment.
“No, and that was the coach not the chick and I don’t have a car anyway.”
“No car?” Jared looks at him puzzled for a moment then shrugs “alright then. Do you want it to be just us or can we join some friends of mine? You saw them on Sunday at the bar with me, and I’ve already told them I might be with you and they want to meet you.”
He goes cold all of a sudden and a small shiver goes down his spine. Normally he is very shy and nervous about meeting new people, Jared being a freak of nature is an exception that he has no idea how happened. But meeting a whole group of people who Jared likes and told about him? And what on earth could he tell them in such a short notice of time? What happens if he meets them and they don’t like him, would Jared not want to be around him to please his friends?
Jared must see the worry or picks up on his hesitancy because he tries to back pedal and calm him down. “You don’t have to it was just a suggestion, but I think you would get along with them. We don’t even have to go to the same bar if you don’t want to we could go somewhere else.”
He feels bad the for making Jared potentially miss out on seeing his friends no matter how much he wants to have those beers with Jared. “It’s okay we can go to the same bar,” he bites at his lip still thinking about if he wants to meet Jared’s friends. Jared makes a decision for him instead.
“Why don’t we go and hang out and I’ll spend the evening with you and if they wander over I can introduce you to them one at a time and if you like em we can sit with them, if not it will be just us okay?” Jared looks at him with concern and it makes him feel a little easier.
“Alright that sounds good,” he thinks that maybe it might work.“Friday around six? Need to get some study time in,” he watches as Jared’s face lights up with agreement.
“Perfect, I’ll see you then, and you better hustle if you want to make it to your next class on time.” Jared says opening the door for him.
He rushes off to his next class and just barely makes it to his seat on time.
****
Jared couldn’t believe his luck in gaining the attention of the totally hot guy at the bar on Sunday. His friends had teased him about it and Sandy had dared him to go over and say hi. He hadn’t wanted to until Chad had insulted his manliness and dared him. So he decided he was going to do it and if he was going to say hi, he was going to do it in a big way. Seating himself across from the guy, he took in just how hot the guy really was. Short dark blonde hair, very green eyes framed by lashes a woman would envy, a nose that was dusted with sexy looking freckles and plush lips, and his lean body wasn’t anything to sneer at either. He was surprised when he guy, Ross, as he introduced himself didn’t tell him to shove off and instead accepted the beer he’d offered. They had talked for a few hours and Jared felt an instant connection and was sad to have to leave. But he managed to get Ross to agree to call him and hoped he would see Ross around campus. He was one year ahead of Ross and they were taking completely different classes so he doubted they would have any together.
On Monday his brain was almost fried from shock as Ross walked into the psych class he was TAing for. It disappointed him however that he didn’t get the chance to talk to Ross before class started and Ross had practically fled as soon as the teacher had dismissed them after. So, when on Tuesday he answered the phone after his late afternoon work out he almost fell over when he heard Ross’s voice on the other end. It turned out Ross had a sense of humor which he could appreciate, it bordered on flirting which was also awesome but, was just relived that Ross had called him. Ross was willing to talk to him again and he felt re-energized when he had hung up. He had jogged all the way to Sandy’s apartment to talk to her about it. Sandy was one of his closest friends besides Chad who knew all about him and unlike Chad, she would listen and give him advice without mocking him.
He was an outgoing guy and made friends easily but didn’t really let them get to close. He had a feeling that he would like to have Ross close, very close and that excited and worried him just a bit. Ten years ago he had had a life changing experience and since then he lived in the moment and for the future going after what he wanted as life was too damn short not to. Ross was very much in the moment and he hoped would be in his in the future. Sandy was on her way out when he arrived and offered to drive him back to his place and they could talk on the way as she couldn’t be late to her appointment. He had a lot of energy left but decided he would clean the apartment for a change to finish working off the energy he had and accepted the ride. Mostly he gushed about Ross and seeing him again and how would he see him in the future, outside of class of course. Sandy had suggested when he was getting out of her car that he get Ross to go out for drinks with them and he turned the idea over all the while he cleaned the apartment. He decided he would and was so wound up it was hard to sleep that night even after the vigorous cleaning the whole place had gotten and his workout and run to Sandy’s.
On Wednesday he made no more to talk to Ross before class, as Ross looked a little nervous. Getting to him after the lecture took a moment but it wasn’t too long until he had Ross alone. Ross was just as funny as before until he brought up the idea of meeting his friends the Ross seemed nervous biting at his bottom lip and shivering. He almost didn’t know what to make of the sudden change in Ross but wanted to sooth him over it. In the end Ross agreed to the idea of meeting his friends and he would make sure that his friends were behaved and took their time to meet Ross one at a time. His friends were no saints but he figured that they could do this for him and as soon as Ross got to know them they could let loose again. In fact the idea of an open and funny Ross with his zany friends had him smiling for the rest of the day. He decided he would also bring Ross up in his therapy group on Thursday as if things went his way Ross would end up knowing about it and he wanted a jump start on that particular conversation.
****
There is an extra credit group project for Jensen’s Tuesday and Thursday psychological therapy class and he thinks he would like to do it. There is an on campus group therapy session Thursday evenings for people who have experienced a traumatic event or loss due to a traumatic event. He fits in both categories but will stick with traumatic loss if he has to share anything. He won’t go into great detail about the events he has experienced just in case someone recognizes him or connects the dots to his facts and the event in question. It’s been ten years but to some people it’s not long enough or never will be, not that he expects to run into anyone from Dallas Texas who was there at the time and just happened to be out here in California but one can never be too cautious. He ends up running just a little late as he stopped for food on the way not knowing when the therapy meeting would end and have had lunch hours ago. He rushes in and takes the first open seat close to the door and sets his school bag down as quietly as possible before looking up and at the group for the first time. He had no illusions he would be met with looks of suspicion and annoyance for being new and late but almost falls out of his seat when his eyes land on Jared seated almost across from him in the circle the chairs form.
He knows that Jared doesn’t have any other psych classes beside the one he TA’s for and he can’t get extra credit for that so he must be here for the therapy and he wonders if he should leave when a woman in her fifties clears her throat and gets his attention. He recognizes her from the flyer his teacher had given him for this therapy session. Samantha Farris is a licensed psychologist and an alumni of the college who gives her time here on Thursdays to help and inspire the students.
“Welcome to trauma therapy if you would, would you give us your name and why you are here, you don’t have to be too specific if you don’t want to and you don’t have to share anything with us until you feel comfortable but you can if you feel up to it, we don’t judge here.” Samantha smiles warmly at him and it somehow puts him a little more at ease. “I’m Samantha but you can call me Sam and I am here because I lost my husband to a drunk driver, I was also in the car with him.”
“I’m Ross and uh,” he hesitates for a second looking around at all the faces of the people looking at him. “I am here because of my psych therapy class but also because I lost my brother.”
“Ah yes, you are not the first student to come here” Sam addresses him before looking around the group “you all know about the students visits like med students and teaching students shadow professionals if you don’t see me after the session. I will also remind Ross of the rules of sitting in on therapy sessions for class. If you don’t feel comfortable with this you are free to leave but talk to me after the session or give me a call and we can try and work something out.” When no one left Sam turned back to him “I am sorry for your loss and hope that you will share that with us.”
After that the session got under way and a few people talked about events or losses that affected them with others giving sympathy and reassurances and Sam helping them look deeper into what they felt about the traumas and ways to start to dim the hurt and move on. Jared didn’t share and neither did he. When the session was over and a few people had talked to Sam and before long it was his turn and they were alone. He felt a little disappointed and a bit relived that Jared hadn’t hug around to talk as he focused on Sam. She reminded him that anything he heard could not be written about without direct permission by the parties involved and he was here to learn and share not to dictate. He agreed and she offered her sympathies again before he left.
When he walked out the door he almost had a heart attack when Jared’s massive shape came out of the dark before him.
“Are you stalking me or is it that you just can’t get enough of me?” Jared’s voice was only half teasing as he watched him.
“You scared the crap out of me and if I didn’t know any better I’d say you were stalking me” he replied wondering if some part of that was actually true. Jared seemed to be every where he was and it would make him paranoid if Jared showed up at one other place he was. He knew that life on a college campus could be a small world but this was just headed towards ridiculous.
“No I am not stalking you but this is one hell of a coincidence isn’t it” Jared looked thoughtful. “Fate strikes again, maybe someone up there is telling us we were meant to be.”
“Or is just crazy and playing one hell of a joke” he replied.
“You’re not religious are you?” Jared cocked his head a little to the side as if by looking at him from another angle he could figure him out.
“Not anymore” he said in a tone that would hopefully stop Jared from asking. Jared he had noted in their small meetings like to know things and he suspected from what he had seen was good at getting the answers to things he wanted to know. Jensen had been put off religion after staying with his grandmother for a few years and being subjected to going twice a week and the churches hard view on his supposedly ‘chosen lifestyle’.
“Okay” Jared replied as he must have taken the hint. “I’ll still see you on Friday right?” He looked hopeful and slightly worried like it was too good to be true even after all these little run ins.
“I’ll be there” he assured Jared and got a blinding smile in return.
“Goodnight then” Jared waved and headed off after he had replied.
It was a short walk back to the dorm and he thought about the therapy session he had attended and if he wanted to contribute his own story. Not all of it of course, never all of it but something. He had done therapy before and wondered how this would be different from before. Before people knew who he was and why he was there. Here they would only know what he wanted them to. He decided he would give it a try.
1997
The three months after Daniel had killed some of his classmates and died via suicide by cop were a blur. Jensen had fallen further into depression and his parents were getting a divorce and blaming each other for how Daniel had turned out. They were also questioning his behavior and watching him as if he would suddenly go ballistic and start killing people. No he had no desire to hurt anyone except maybe himself and in a way he was. He was hardly eating, hardly cleaning himself and spent most of the day in bed but hardly sleeping thanks to nightmares and his parents fighting and media and cops calling and coming over. Some official like people from some kind of state or service agency had come by but he hadn’t paid much attention to them. There were always people coming by, lawyers, state officials, police, the media at all hours of the day and sometimes night pretty much every day. The media was the worst painting a horrible picture of him and pointing him out to be almost as bad if not just as bad as Daniel. His life and family life has been dragged out of the mud for all the public to see.
“Jensen?” a soft female voice he didn’t know came from the door way.
He looked over to see a woman who might have been in her thirties standing there in a gray suit with matching pumps, a battered briefcase and way to much make up on. He just stared at her and she fidgeted before stepping into the room and turning on the overhead light. It made him wince as he had shut the curtains tight and had been using only a table lamp to see by for the past day or so. The woman looked around the room and frowned before turning her gaze back to him.
“I need you to get up and get some cloths together okay” she set her briefcase on Daniel’s bed. “Do you need some help?” she asked when he didn’t move.
“Why?” he just continued to start at her as she looked around the room again.
“Because you are leaving, the court has deemed that your parents aren’t fit to have you with them right now. You will stay with your grandmother Sarah until one of your parents is fit to have you or you can stay with your grandmother unless she says otherwise. Now you need to get up and pack, do you have a suitcase or bag you can carry your things in?” The woman looked like she didn’t have much more patience and dealing with him was using up whatever patience she had.
He sighed but got up moving around her and out into the main room and pulled a battered suitcase out of the storage closet built into the wall by the kitchen that was supposed to be a pantry. The woman watched him as he threw in all his newest cloths first before packing anything else that would fit. Then he got a brown bag he used to carry his lunches in and packed up his toiletries from the bathroom adding them to the pile in the suitcase and zipping it closed. The woman must have expected him to leave then but he help off getting his school bag and filling it with little personal mementos like photos and various knickknacks he wanted to keep. When he was done the woman took his backpack as he carried his suitcase. His parents were busy with a guy in a suit in the kitchen and didn’t respond to his goodbye as he left with the woman.
She didn’t take him straight to his grandmother’s instead to a foster facility where he would stay until the weekend when his grandmother would collect him. It was only Tuesday he would have to spend at least three day here. While he was stay in the foster facility he would have to follow their schedule and their rules. That included therapy sessions which he learned he would have to continue once a week with a state shrink while he was with his grandmother. They wanted to make sure that he was okay, in other words he knew they wanted to know if he was dangerous, if he was going to do what Daniel had done.
The days in the facility were just as bad if not worse than at home if some things were the exact opposite in some regards they were still shitty. Where his parents had argued over him and ignored him the kids here were all in agreement that he was no good and paid attention to him in the form of tormenting him. He wasn’t nuts but the shrink he had to see was sure to drive him nuts if he had to spend any more time than the three days with him. He hadn’t really been around his grandmother Sarah all that much since he was a small boy and even the it wasn’t all that often but staying with her had to have been better than staying here.
His grandmother didn’t look all that old when she came to get him late Saturday and she argued about him seeing a shrink. Unfortunately it was part of the condition for her taking him and she had to give in. He felt a little hope rise in him that she wanted him so much and even if he had to see a shrink maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. That notion was wiped away when they stared off towards her home in Houston.
“Your parents didn’t do you or your brother any favors raising you the way they did” his grandmother started. “I’ll see to it that you get straightened out. That garbage about you seeing a head shrinker, baugh, no you need the good Lord. You will go to church with me on Wednesdays and Sundays and see the priest for confession and a few personal sessions. God will set your head straight, none of this moping or bad ideas in your head or unnatural thoughts about life or boys.”
He flushed that his grandmother knew he was gay and felt dread at what his life might be like. He had gone to church now and then when his parents were sober and civil and acting nice with each other. Being gay was a sin and a lot of people in Texas didn’t take kindly to it. It appeared that his grandmother didn’t either. Also people like his grandmother and other hard church goers thought that enough praying and being true to God could cure you or keep you from problems and if you had any or were sick it was because you were supposed to be or were bad and it was your burden to bare for being out of grace or favor with God. Now he had faith but he knew that problems like Daniel had couldn’t be helped. He had done a little digging and while not a whole lot of information was available to him he had found some answers. Daniel had had Schizophrenia and that was something he didn’t think God, any God had control over. As the ride went on and his grandmother talked he felt as if he might have been better staying at the foster facility. He didn’t think therapy or God could ever erase or make what had happened any better. Or make him not gay.
2006
Friday blew by and as the day wore on he got more and more nervous about meeting Jared for drinks. Things with Jared were moving so fast and he was about to add more to the mix by meeting Jared’s friends. He had no doubt it would happen even if Jared insisted they could leave. He would either grin and bear it as they passed by or Jared’s friends might rush them all together in a kind of pull the band aid off quick method. Then again it wouldn’t happen if he wasn’t there. But then again he had told Jared he would be there. It wasn’t a promise but he liked to keep him word as at one time it was just about the only thing he had and if he didn’t have that then he had nothing. So he would go and he would be alright he just had to stick with Jared. After his last class he didn’t study at all instead went through all his cloths trying to decide what to wear.
He knew this wasn’t a date and that he was maybe Jared’s friend but he was meeting Jared’s other friends and he didn’t want to look like a total loser. He felt a little bit like a teenaged girl might feel before a date however when he tried on a few outfits and looked at himself in the mirror. Finally he went with a green button down and a clean pair of nice jeans that didn’t have any stains or rips or frayed edges. He tried combing his hair down and didn’t like the way it looked and ran his fingers through it to get little spikes at the top. That was how he wore his hair pretty much all the time so why change that for just tonight. If he ever ran into Jared’s friends again or on campus or something they would see it this way so it made no difference tonight.
He left for the bar with just enough time to get there and not be late but avoid being too early. When he went in he looked around and saw Jared at a table with one empty chair and two bottles of beer. Jared’s face lit up in that smile he was growing so fond of when he got close enough for Jared to notice him.
“Hey man so glad you could make it” Jared made as if to get up from his seat but he waved Jared down hoping up onto his own seat.
“Told you I would come” he answered as he took a quick look around to see if he could spot any of the people he had seen with Jared the last weekend.
“They aren’t here yet and I am not sure all of them will show up” Jared said watching him his head tilted ever so slightly to one side before straightening up and grinning even wider if it was possible. “Besides I plan to introduce them to you slowly so you won’t even notice.”
He raised one eyebrow at Jared and smirked “So I am having beer with a mastermind then” it’s more of a statement then a question but Jared leaps on it anyway.
“Oh yeah, I am king of dastardly plans and I have you in my sights as my main focus.”
“Just remember one thing Jared” he drawled and Jared leaned forward shoulders hunched to bend him over the table.
“What’s that?” Jared sounded so cocky and sure when he asked and he had to try and keep the laughter in as he replied thinking of Jared and his subjects of thought.
“So was Wile E. Coyote, Marvin the Martian, and Snidely Whiplash,” he let the names hang there for a moment and saw the second the recognition catch in Jared’s eyes before Jared threw his head back and laughed loudly.
“So are you telling me this will all blow up in my face?” Jared slapped his hands to his cheeks and gave an open mouthed horror expression via Kevin the kid in the Home Alone movies.
“Not at all I’m just letting you know what might happen” he took a swig of his beer “it could also be that I’ll like them and get along so well with them that they all become enamored with me and lave you to be with me.”
“They wouldn’t leave me because while you may have brains I have all the brawn and I can help move furniture and other stuff like say a dead body of sneaky ex-friends and they will always need a friend who can do that while in college.” Jared set his beer down and held his arms out in a T, nearly missing a waitress before curling his clenched fists in, bending his arms at the elbow in a classic muscle man pose.
He couldn’t help but start at the muscles that bulged in Jared’s arms and had to take another swallow of beer. Jared was good looking and so far his personality was great this just added to his appeal and if Jared let him, he would be happy to just start at him for the rest of the evening like that. “That’s quite a bit of muscle” he admitted as Jared put his arms done in order to have more beer.
“Yeah I used to play basketball for a long time, kind why I am so late with this who college thing. I went to college before but it was to play ball and I just took a bunch of elective classes and what not hoping I would get noticed for playing and maybe make some kind of career out of if even if I wasn’t playing in the NBA. But after a while of not really getting anywhere I injured my knee and was told I couldn’t keep playing.” Jared looked down at the table as if he could see through it to him legs a wistful smile on his lips for a moment. “I took a while off and wasn’t sure what to do with myself. Katie, was starting college and looked at all I had taken and told me I could do something with it and had the bases covered for a number of degrees if I would only get off my ass an finish one. I decided I knew so much stuff I could teach it so now I am just finishing the certification parts of the degree. I needed to keep working the knee and the gym here is awesome and I talked with the sports coaches here and they gave me a pass. I work out to burn of energy and keep myself in shape so I won’t go all tin man after a rain when I’m old.”
He was impressed that Jared had decided to come back to school and try and put what he knew to good use by getting a useful degree he actually seemed interested in using. His experiences with the jock types in school had never been all that good and he thought that professional players got way too much money just because they could do something a little better then someone else physically. And that the degrees they earned and wouldn’t use they got mostly because they had skated through classes or gotten just because they had to keep a scholarship or grades to play while in college. He hadn’t seen to many athletes do much with their degrees once their careers were over and many didn’t have degrees that would get them far in life after. Jared could use his to not only build a future on but to help other at the same time and that was something special in his eyes.
He was also kind of jealous about this Katie person as he had noted Jared had said her name with fondness and if she had talked Jared into getting a degree they must be close on some level. He didn’t know Jared’s sexual orientation but thought it might lean more towards his side of the scale rather than the fairer sex if the light flirting and comfortableness he had in using it on him was anything to go by. But in today’s age it was hard to tell and this was California where the people were a little more around the curve then people back home in Texas and the stigma towards gays was getting better.
“Who’s Katie?” he blurted out while he was still so curious that courage could be applied and he wouldn’t look like an idiot for asking instead of waiting till the curiosity drove him nuts and he would ask so far from now that it would be odd and out of place.
Jared got a very fond look on his face and waited a moment to answer ducking his head as a light blush came over his cheeks. “Katie is my younger sister but she acts like my older sister half the time and she can be very bossy. My family can be very protective of me and she is like a mini mom giving me a shove when she thinks I need it.”
Jared was obviously fond of his sister and his family and hit make something in him ache a bit that he didn’t. He knew if he let it the feelings of it would over whelm him and he needed to steer the conversation in a new direction. He got his wish as it was then that a man came up to their table starting at them then cocked his head and opened his mouth.
“Well at least he is something to look at Jay” the man said and he almost spit the mouthful of beer he had taken out.
“Chad!” Jared reached out and punched the guy on the arm before he could step out of Jared’s reach.
“What it’s true” the guy, Chad turned to look at him and his flushed under the scrutiny.
“Ross this is Chad, the polite term you can call him is friend but he is more of a douchebag” Jared glared at Chad who was about to protest before Jared added “except under extreme duress then he can be okay.”
Chad shut his mouth and scowled then a smile was back on his face “you forgot that I am a great comedian and the best party planner.”
“If you plan to end up in jail for the night sure” Jared shot back with a big grin on his face. It was clear that there was probably a story behind it and that it was a good one.
“Well it was nice to meet you but I’m gonna get a table before the place fills up or Jared goes cave man and tries to keep you hidden so he can have you to himself” Chad winked at him, slapped Jared on the shoulder and wondered off towards the back of the bar.
Jared looked a little flustered when he looked back at him. “I tried to get him to play nice, guess that was leaving him an open invitation or something. I swear he is the only one like that the other are better.”
He let Jared hang for a moment before letting a smile spread across his face “well at least things would never be boring.” Jared gave him a wide grin in return and went for a swig of beer only to find his bottle empty. He made a sad face that he thought looked just like a puppy and he chuckled. “Guess it’s time for a refill, I’ll get this round” he stood up and went to the bar. When he got back with two fresh beers there was a girl standing at the table watching him. She smiled as she looked him over and introduced herself as Sandy before Jared could.
They exchanged a few words about how he was liking the campus and classes before she expressed her hope that he would hang around and get to know everyone as he seemed cool before going off to find Chad. He began to ask Jared about his friends and as they talked a few more wondered in and over as time passed and he met Jason, Richard, Matt, Sophia, Nick and Megan.
As the night wore on Jared told him all about his first year on campus and he told Jared about the various jobs he had had while Jared’s friends wondered over to talk and add their own conversations before going off again. Soon it was late and time for him to leave and he found that he had had a much better time than he thought he would.
“There must be some thing in the water around here I am usually not like this” he ducked his head and rubbed at the back of his neck and Jared beamed at him.
We’ll if there is I hope it stays there I like you” Jared flushes and stutters on “you like this, no wait this like you, no that’s not it. Shit I think I’m drunk” Jared has been steadily growing redder as he speaks and he has a hard time holding in his laughter but it gets out anyway and Jared sends him a pouty look that just sets him off harder. “Fine see if I buy you alcohol next time” Jared pouts a bit more then smiles.
“Well I would defiantly like a next time so perhaps the best course for now would be to say good night” he admits out loud.
“Yeah okay” Jared nods way too vigorously and he thinks Jared might make himself dizzy before he stops. “I’ll see you in class” Jared sing songs and turns to go only staggering a little.
In the morning he doesn’t care that he has a bit of a hang over as he still feels good from last night.
Days and weeks begin to pass and Monday, Wednesday and Friday soon become his favorite days of the week as those are the days he sees Jared. They don’t go out every Friday and he sees Jared on Thursdays in therapy but doesn’t count those times. Those times are when both he and Jared are other people then who they are outside the group. In the group he thinks of Jared as Tristan who has survived a horrible ordeal, which has yet to be identified, and lost his cousin, yet to be named in the event. And he, he is Jensen again the boy who lost his brother and later his family to the fallout of losing his brother. He never does share many details and hearing from other is nice and he enjoys trying to comfort and help Jared through his problems and suspects Jared likes trying to help him even if he doesn’t give away much of anything that outlines his problems much beyond grief for his brother.
Another aspect of knowing Jared is that he has come to like all of Jared’s friends and they like him and when they do go out on Fridays they all sit together now. He never thought that he could have this life, the life he has wanted since he was a boy. Granted that he had no real family to go home to but his dorm room mate is decent and hardly seen and he is having fun learning and has friends, real friends. In the back of his mind he knows that it could all come crashing down like it has before but all his therapy and growing confidence beat those thoughts down. After all to everyone here he is Ross Tailer not the infamous Jensen Ackles and he has no family to do anything or say otherwise or make people think anything of him other that what he presents himself to be. Life is good right now.
1997
Jensen fells like he is in hell even if he hasn’t died yet to get there. Living with his grandmother is grinding him into the ground and therapy is driving him up the wall nuts. He is told to both open up and keep who he is buried inside. He is supposed to be taking pills but they made him feel bad so he doesn’t take them and says he does. He had been lectured at and prayed over and fought his own mind to appear as if he is together enough to not be sent away to some asylum and cover up who he is to not be sent to some camp of the church to try and change him. Every once in a while some media will show up as well and try and get something but his doctors shut them down or his grandmother chases them off. He has made no friends at the church and frankly doesn’t want to and the others in therapy…forget it.
Accept one that is. Christian ‘Chris” Kane has anger issues and a slightly more than is healthy relationship with fire and couldn’t give a rat’s ass in his own words if he was gay. He doesn’t see Chris outside therapy and the occasional phone call from a pay phone when he really needs it or can get away from his grandmother. He isn’t sure if he should call Chris a friend, he knows he would like to but he had an irrational fear that if he calls Chris and friend Chris could decide he wasn’t worthy and leave him. Chris does know about Daniel and what Daniel did and even though he says it’s fucked up he knows that he isn’t to blame.
Chris is a little older then him and has a plan for when he turns eighteen to get the hell out of dodge. Chris tells him all about his plans all the time and he hopes Chris makes it. Whenever they do talk about Chris’s plans he gets some wild ideas about getting away when he gets old enough too. By now he knows he will never go back to his parents and he can’t stay with his grandmother. Chris offers to come back for him when he is eighteen if he really wants and he declines but secretly hopes Chris will ignore his protests and bully him into it.
It isn’t until a year later when Chris is leaving that he calls Chris a friend and Chris laughs at him saying he knew it all the time and says he’ll come back for him in a year. He isn’t sure he believes Chris, he wants to so bad but right now doubt is taking over and without Chris to help him fight it he isn’t sure he can win over it. Only time will tell what will happen to them.
Continued in Part 3