Because We Are
Title: Because We Are
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 6.2k
Summary: Being unsure about being in love is maybe just that tad bit difficult.
Warning/s: Femslash, Smut. Taemin/Kai if you squint
Author's Note: Originally written for http://selubration.livejournal.com/43681.html
Sehun glances around the packed cafeteria as she enters, her bag hanging loosely on one shoulder while she tugs Jongin who is mumbling about sore feet and dead toenails. Having dance classes so early in the morning is not exactly her favorite part of being a college student but since she is a Modern Dance major Sehun just plasters a smile ( More like a grimace. Jongin says) in front of the entire class until they are dismissed and are free to wear any unpleasant facial expression they so wish. For now, the tiredness and aching muscles are not relevant. She is famished. She needs to find someone before she can eat so she drags a mumbling Jongin through a herd of hungry college students.
Sehun finds what she's looking for soon enough because she only has to get a glimpse of bubble gum pink hair to know that Lu Han is in the cafeteria. The pink dye job certainly has its benefits although it gave Sehun quite a shock (the good oh damn you're so pretty kind) when she first saw Lu Han sporting it. Sehun tugs on Jongin's hand a little harder as she quicken her steps to get to the table where Lu Han and her group of friends are about to start their lunch.
Lu Han is giggling and the sight of her happy face makes Sehun's heart flutter. Lu Han is breathtakingly beautiful with her eyes crinkled and white teeth in full display. She might look like a fairy with that pink mop of hair but Sehun knows better than to describe her as girly. Lu Han is captain of the university's volleyball team and wallops a mean spike that remains constant in a game duration no matter how many times she executes it. She eats like a cow too, and Sehun wonders if Lu Han has ever heard of the word diet because she can swear Lu Han has not gained an ounce of weight in the two years that they have known each other.
Sehun's smile evaporates from her face faster than Jongin can do a pirouette when she sees Kris, the volleyball team's resident (flirt) blocker, feed Lu Han the half of the strawberry she had in her mouth just seconds ago. Now, Sehun is not the jealous type (she puts up with Lu Han's legions of fans both males and females) but there is something about the way "Krissy" blushes when Lu Han calls her that that ticks Sehun off. Kris is a third year, in the same class with Lu Han taking Accountancy, and taller than everyone Sehun has ever known and therefore shouldn’t be acting like a high school girl with a crush, but she does and Sehun can barely keep the green headed monster gnawing at her chest at bay.
Sehun makes use of her long legs and reaches the table in a few strides, making Jongin stumble after her. Jongin is now used to being dragged by Sehun around campus even if they have only known each other for a couple of semesters. Luhan looks up and sees Sehun and smiles that happy smile that Sehun usually sees when Luhan talks about volleyball and sitting in rocking chairs while holding hands in a porch during sunset when they are old and wrinkly. Sehun tries to give Lu Han a smile but only manages a half grimace as Kris pulls Jongin to sit beside her. Lu Han scoots a bit to give Sehun enough space to sit beside her. Sehun plops down beside Lu Han unceremoniously and gives Chanyeol (the other blocker, she and Kris are the team's Twin Towers), and Minseok (the tosser, shortest member of the team but also the oldest) a small smile but scowls at Kris in front of her.
Sehun is contemplating whether to kick Jongin's knees which is so conveniently just in front of her when she feels warmth on her waist. Sehun looks down to find Lu Han's hand resting on the thin material of her blouse and the warmth seeping through the fabric feels nice, it feels like home. She can feel the same warmth creeping up her neck and face and she turns to look at Lu Han who is holding a spoonful of fried rice in front of her face.
"Eat, Sehun," says Lu Han as she brings the spoon closer to Sehun's mouth.
Sehun is about to protest about being spoon-fed in such a public place but her stomach chooses that time to grumble making Lu Han raise a brow, unspoken reproach evident in her eyes. Traitor stomach. Sehun is left with not much choice but to eat what Lu Han is feeding her. Lu Han gives her a smile again while she chews the food inside her mouth. She sighs in content, her annoyance from earlier already swept in limbo, as she feels Lu Han's thumb softly kneading the sore muscles at the small of her back. Lu Han really knows how to take care of her.
Sehun lets Lu Han feed her. Lu Han gets her way most of the time anyway even though it’s the older girl who complains that Sehun is so used to getting everything she wants. Spoilt princess is what Lu Han fondly calls her when it’s just the two of them.
“Why did we not get an invitation to your wedding?”
Sehun turns to look at Minseok, the source of the scandalous question, wondering who the eldest girl on the table is asking. Minseok’s eyes are squinted at her and Sehun doesn’t know what to say. Minseok has always been quiet and just content to watch things flow around her.
She’s a nice girl who gets along with everyone and is fond of Sehun so she doesn’t really understand where the question is coming from.
"You look like an old married couple,” says Kris who is now giving Jongin her bowl of strawberries.
Sehun chokes on her food. (It’s actually Lu Han’s food that Lu Han is now feeding to her and oh Lu Han is still eating it too) She makes to grab the bottle of cider in front of Lu Han but the older girl is faster and has the straw in front of her lips in a matter of seconds. Sehun takes a long sip while Lu Han is thumping her back gently before setting the bottle down and giving Lu Han a grateful smile.
“You guys are scaring Sehun,” Luhan says as she puts both her hands on the table. Sehun misses the warmth of her hand already.
"We are just…stating the obvious." Minseok and Kris high five after saying it at the same time. Lu Han shakes her pretty pink head beside Sehun. She takes a sip of her cider and makes a show of slowly swallowing it before turning to face Minseok and Kris. Lu Han doesn't notice Sehun fidgeting with the hem of her blouse.
Sehun wants to know what Lu Han will say. Scratch that. Sehun wants to know what she and Lu Han are. She doesn't know if they are just friends because friends don't fuck each other on a regular basis. She doesn't know if they are fuck buddies. Sehun refuses to believe that they are just friends with benefits because surely cuddling after (mind blowing) sex, making out in secluded spots in campus, and going on dates at least weekly aren't things that FWB do.
Sehun is fine with the things that they do, she really is. She likes kissing Lu Han, likes how Lu Han eats her out until she’s squirting in Lu Han’s face, likes the slow drag of Lu Han’s dainty hands all over her body, likes the butterfly kisses that Lu Han showers on her face. Sehun likes so many things that Lu Han does to her and with her, but Lu Han has never said anything about what they are, never said “I love you”.
“How do you even know that she hasn’t eaten yet?” It’s Chanyeol that asks this time, her voice just a decibel louder than the voices of everyone at their table. Her curiosity would have been welcome any other time, what with her big round eyes and twitching ears that reminds Sehun of puppies, but not today.
“It’s because Lu Han has Sehun’s schedule memorized by heart,” Kris happily supplies, “she knows when Sehun has free period, when Sehun has what subject at what time. You should see her check her watch every end of the classes we share together. Last time, I tried following her after one of our classes to see where she runs off to, but I couldn’t catch up with her. The next thing I know she’s walking with Sehun to the library.”
“Wow!” Chanyeol’s eyes turn as big as the plums that she’s eating, “You should try being a detective, Unnie!”
“Didn’t you hear what she said, Chanyeol? She couldn’t keep up with Lu Han. Her long legs are even no match to Lu Han’s speed.” Minseok snickers as Kris pouts beside her. “Let’s not deviate from the topic. When were you going to tell us, Lu? Or were we supposed to just figure it out for ourselves?”
“There is nothing to tell, Minseok. I take care of Sehun because she’s such a baby despite her height. And I am a good Unnie who takes care of her dongsaengs. You’re just reading too much into it,” Luhan says without a pause. She gives Minseok a pointed look and does the same to Kris. The two let’s the subject drop with a shrug of their shoulders but not without giving Sehun a glance. They have known Lu Han since freshman year and thus have come to know when to let go of a topic to avoid her anger.
Sehun has her head down, suddenly finding the frayed laces of her shoes more interesting than the conversation of the occupants of the table. She honestly did not expect for Lu Han to tell the others of the things they do when they are in private. Neither did she expect to be brushed aside like that though. Her throat suddenly feels dry, a stark contrast to the wetness that threatens to flood her eyes and spill over. She nudges Jongin’s foot with her own, keeping her eyes downcast.
Jongin looks at Sehun, brows furrowed but her eyes soften when she sees the downturn of Sehun’s lips. Jongin swallows the last bits of strawberries in her mouth before clearing her throat, averting the attention of everyone in the table towards her. Jongin might not know Sehun the longest but hours after hours spent together dancing and studying everyday has gotten them closer. Sehun has been helping Jongin from the day she transferred in their university even if Sehun is younger by a few months and Jongin is nothing short of grateful for Sehun's friendship. Now that Sehun is the one in need of Jongin's help, Jongin will give her all that she'll need.
“Sorry to interrupt this convention but Sehun and I need to go practice for our dance demo next week,” Jongin says, slowly standing up and smoothing the front of her white linen blouse. “Ms. Kwon expects us to get the choreo down pat by tomorrow so we better get working on it.”
Sehun lifts her head just the slightest to give Jongin a grateful smile before standing up and hitching her bag back on her shoulder. She gives them a small wave and excuses herself, mumbling an “I’ll see you later” to whoever cares to listen. She doesn’t see the way Lu Han’s brows twitch as she watches Jongin pull Sehun by the wrist out of the cafeteria.
Minseok and Kris eye Lu Han pointedly then, only to get glared at. They sigh in unison and Chanyeol just looks on sadly. Lu Han scowls at the bowl of fried rice in front of her.
Once outside of the cafeteria, Jongin pulls Sehun to the direction of the nearest washroom so she can cry if she wants. Sehun doesn’t even realize where they are headed until Jongin slams the door of the washroom closed. Jongin looks at Sehun’s face and opens her arms, an open invitation for her friend. Sehun doesn’t hesitate and goes into Jongin’s waiting arms before sobbing her eyes out. Jongin somehow manages to pull out a pack of tissues from her bag and gives it to Sehun who has her face buried on Jongin’s shoulder.
Jongin didn’t expect Lu Han’s answer earlier. To be quite honest, Jongin expected Lu Han to say that she and Sehun are dating because Jongin is witness to how Lu Han looks at Sehun when the two are together, and the way Sehun’s eyes twinkle even just at the mention of Lu Han’s name. (And Jongin is sure she has seen the two in a liplock once or twice when they thought no one would be able to see them.) Jongin is quite confused to say the least. She knows Lu Han is not a bitch who will say things to deliberately hurt people but she wonders if Lu Han realized how much her words had hurt Sehun back in the cafeteria.
Jongin’s musing is interrupted by Sehun blowing her nose on a tissue, her sobs now subsided. Jongin notes that her shoulder is wet and the strap of her bra is clearly visible through the fabric of her blouse. She doesn’t mind though, Sehun is more important than a wet blouse and discernible bra.
“Hey,” Jongin says, voice soft, as she tries to lift Sehun’s face with a finger under her chin. “Look at me.”
Sehun looks at Jongin, albeit reluctantly. Her eyes are red and puffy having spent a while crying, her cheeks are flushed and wet, and her nose is still moist. Jongin wipes the tears under her eyes.
“I’m sorry, Jongin.” Sehun says, voice coming out small and unsure. Sehun feels small.
“It’s okay. We’re friends, and friends should always be there for each other, right?” Jongin smiles at Sehun and Sehun couldn’t be more thankful so she nods solemnly and gives Jongin a watery smile. “C’mon, you should wash your face. We don’t want your pretty face having dried snot later, do we?”
Sehun swats at Jongin’s arm weakly but let’s herself be pulled to the sink where she splashes her face with water. The cold water feels refreshing to Sehun’s warm skin making her once again thankful towards Jongin. What Sehun is most thankful for is the fact that Jongin doesn’t ask questions that Sehun would rather not think about at the moment and they aren’t in a place where matters should be discussed. After Sehun has dried her face and applied some lipstick and face powder, they exit the washroom, ignoring the stares of those that they left in there.
Sehun doesn’t make any efforts to contact Lu Han for days after the cafeteria incident. She buries her nose into her books and spends her free time in the practice rooms in the university. Jongin stays with Sehun wherever Sehun wants to be. They study together in the library and spend hours in the practice room. Jongin wasn’t lying when she said they needed to practice although at that time when she said it, it was just an excuse. Ms. Kwon decided after watching Sehun and Jongin’s demo that the two girls are ready for their first dance competition.
Sehun pours her energy into everything and anything that is not Lu Han. She goes through their choreography again and again even when Jongin begs for a break because her bones feel like crumbling. She ignores Lu Han’s calls and messages, her phone now set on silent mode during school hours. If Lu Han notices that Sehun is avoiding her, she doesn’t say anything.
Lu Han corners Sehun on Monday, exactly one week after what happened at the cafeteria. Sehun and Jongin had just come back from having lunch outside of campus and were headed to the Liberal Arts building where they will have their next class when Lu Han shows up and blocks Sehun’s path.
“Sehun-ah,” Lu Han says as a greeting, her voice clipped. Sehun is surprised to see her then because Lu Han is supposed to be in class at this hour on Mondays, but she makes sure the surprise doesn’t show on her face as well as the smile that threatened to stretch her lips when Lu Han’s eyebrows twitched at the sight of Jongin and Sehun’s clasped hands. Jongin notices where Lu Han is looking and quickly drops Sehun’s hand.
“I’ll go ahead to the classroom, Sehun-ah,” Jongin says, giving Sehun an encouraging smile before bowing slightly to Lu Han. ”Nice seeing you today, Unnie.”
Lu Han responds with a nod, brows knitted. Jongin’s hips sway gracefully as she seems to glide across the floor instead of walk, Lu Han notices. Lu Han wonders if Jongin is straight. She makes a mental note to ask later. For now, she needs to have a word with Sehun.
"I haven't seen you much lately, Sehun-ah. I was wondering how you've been and if you were ok because you didn't come for cheering squad practice. If I didn't ask Yixing yesterday if you've quit, I wouldn't have known about the competition," Lu Han says in one breath while trying to hold Sehun's gaze.
"Yeah, sorry about that. I've..." Sehun trails off as she sees Mr. Jung approach the classroom. "Look, I've been busy because of that and Ms. Kwon told us to practice until we make it perfect so I had no time to see you." It’s not entirely a lie but it isn’t the whole truth either. It will just have to do for now. Sehun berates herself mentally for even chancing a glance at Lu Han. Lu Han looks so sad and so lost like an abandoned kitty that it makes Sehun feel bad.
"I'm sorry but I have to go. Mr. Jung already went inside. You know he gets pissy when students come late." Sehun makes to dash for the classroom but finds herself unable to move because of Lu Han's grip on her wrist.
"At least answer my calls, Sehun-ah. I was beginning to think I never meant..."
Sehun waits for Lu Han to continue but the older girl seems to have trouble articulating words. Sehun watches with a quickening heartbeat as Lu Han swallows repeatedly, white teeth worrying at her bottom lip. Oh how Sehun misses those lips.
"I worry a lot about you. If you answer my calls at least I will know that you're alright." Lu Han is rubbing the toe of her sneakers against the floor, a habit when she is nervous as Sehun has learned after knowing her for so long. Why Lu Han is nervous now in front of her baffles Sehun but she doesn’t have the luxury of time to think about it at the moment.
“I….Ok, I will give you a call later.” Sehun says before turning around and heading for the classroom. She doesn’t dare to look back in fear that she might just change her mind and succumb to that kicked puppy face of Lu Han right now. Sehun knows they need to talk, but she is afraid that she might not be ready to hear what Lu Han has to say. She likes Lu Han too much (“It’s l-o-v-e!”, Jongin insists) that it will hurt so much more if her doubts about the status of their relationship are confirmed. `
Sehun doesn’t call Lu Han later that day or the day after but she replies to the messages that Lu Han sends her on kakaotalk. She tells Lu Han that she’s fine despite feeling like her entire body got a bad beating and her throat being more parched than the Sahara. She keeps her messages at the minimum everyday but Lu Han shows up and brings her packed lunch and bottled water, reminding her to eat and hydrate herself so she doesn’t get sick before or on the day of the competition. Lu Han has her own volleyball practice in the afternoons so she doesn’t stay too long but makes sure that Sehun promises to eat when hungry and drink water in between breaks.
Sehun is happy that Lu Han is taking care of her. (She’s not happy that Jongin is teasing her to hell and back when Lu Han leaves though.) She feels important, loved even, by the way Lu Han is showering her with affection but she still doesn’t know where they stand and just exactly what kind of relationship they have. It’s all very confusing and frustrating to think of and Sehun doesn’t need any of that right now when it’s barely three weeks before the competition.
sigh
"Focus. After this competition you can go charging at Lu Han and tell her to either fess up or go to hell. Just for now, focus on this dance, Sehun-ah," Jongin says in a soothing voice. Sehun has made a few mistakes during today's practice, her mind preoccupied and her heart in disarray. Jongin understands that feelings can mess up a girl's mind like nothing else can so she feels bad for Sehun. She feels even worse that she can't do anything since it's between Sehun and Lu Han, and she's not the type to meddle in people's affairs of the heart.
Lu Han's first game of the season coincides with Sehun's dance competition. Lu Han looks so crestfallen while telling Sehun just three days before the dreaded event. Sehun can't say that she is thrilled to have Lu Han watch her dance her heart out for the approval of the judges but knowing that Lu Han will not be there to cheer her on douses Sehun with disappointment. Lu Han’s apologetic face stays in Sehun’s mind until the day of the event.
The dance competition is being held in their university while Lu Han is on an away game. Sehun and Jongin both look stunning in their outfits of body-hugging black and white satin ensemble with their hairs kept in an elegant bun on their heads. Their partners, Minho and Taemin, are equally handsome in their outfits. They are third to take to the stage out of eleven contesting groups in front of a panel of six judges and over five hundred seated audience. Sehun feels like there is a thousand butterfly wings fluttering in her stomach as she makes her way to the center of the stage, her hand held by Minho while Taemin holds Jongin's.
Sehun thinks she will go deaf after they finish their number, whether from the thunderous applause of the auditorium or from the pounding of her heart, she isn't sure. They go to the back of the stage to wait for the program to finish and for the winner to be announced instead of watching the rest of the participants upon Minho's and Taemin's advice.
"We will only make ourselves worry if we see others who we think are better than us," Minho says as he passes bottles of water to the others.
"We might get our hopes up too high if we see anyone fumble only to be disappointed later on if we lose by a few points," Taemin adds before taking a drink.
The wait feels like forever but Sehun sits calmly in one of the armchairs, the tension and anxiety of the past weeks slowly seeping out of the pores of her skin while Jongin paces around the room.
"Sit down, Jongin. You will scrub the heels of your shoes flat if you keep at it," Taemin says with a smile. Jongin stops in her tracks and gives a shy, nervous smile in return before sitting down in an armchair across Sehun. Sehun raises her brow at Jongin who pointedly looks at the wall to ignore her, a faint dusting of pink blooming on her cheeks. Sehun covers her mouth with the back of her hand in an attempt to hide the chuckles that she couldn't hold in. Jongin kicks her shin as revenge.
Sehun and Jongin are both smiling when all participants get called back to the stage. Albeit nervous, they are not afraid of the outcome of the competition knowing that they have done their best. Sehun finds Jongin's hand and grips it firmly as they await the announcement of winners. Sehun's gasp of surprise is mirrored by Jongin when they are announced as first prize winners. They turn to each other sporting the same wide grins that threaten to split their faces in half.
Jongin hugs Sehun as they jump and squeal when they get backstage while Minho and Taemin just look on with amused smiles on their faces. They get congratulated by the other participants, some going as far as saying they will be going places as the next stars of the dance floor. Sehun and Jongin couldn't be more elated even as they say that they still have a lot to learn and a long way to go.
Soon, the people that crowded the backstage earlier dwindle in number, leaving mostly just the four of them and students from their faculty who are in charge of cleaning up after the competition. Sehun and Jongin fall onto the couch after another bout of squealing and jumping, their energy seemingly rejuvenated by the promise of celebratory dinner by Ms. Kwon for their win.
"Ow! Get your heavy ass off of me, Sehun!" Jongin says even as she laughs. Sehun just laughs into Jongin's shoulder, not even bothering to move. Sehun's laughter is cut short when she feels a strong grip on her shoulders pulling her up and away from the couch.
Sehun spins around and finds herself face to face with Lu Han. There is a bouquet of red, pink, and white flowers on the floor beside Lu Han's feet. Lu Han's hands are balled into fists and she is shaking from what Sehun presumes as anger.
"Lu Han..." Sehun says in a small voice, her eyes following Lu Han's line of vision. Lu Han is looking at Jongin with so much contempt it makes Sehun shiver. "Han, it's not what you think..." Sehun says, hoping Lu Han will listen to her as she tries to explain the situation.
"It's not what I think? You avoid me for weeks and it's still not what I think?" Lu Han spits through gritted teeth. Sehun shakes her head so fast she hears a snap on her neck.
"No? Do you think I'm stupid, Sehun?" Lu Han's voice is cold and her words venomous, her anger flooding the room. Sehun can only shake her head again as she bites her lower lip to stop herself from crying. Sehun sees Jongin sit up on the couch from her peripheral vision so she gestures with her hand to make Jongin stay where she is. Unfortunately, the small action only angers Lu Han further.
"Do you want to know what I think, Sehun?" Sehun's lower lip trembles as she braces herself for the onslaught of harsh words that Lu Han is about to spit. It's not fair that Lu Han can get angry over a wrong assumption while Sehun can't even get angry for being brushed aside. It shocks Sehun and takes everyone in the room by surprise when Lu Han suddenly pulls Sehun with a hand on her nape and kisses her.
The kiss is angry and just a little bit on the desperate side. Sehun's eyes are wide in shock as Lu Han swipes her tongue against Sehun's lips but it doesn't take long before Sehun is kissing back, her arms snaking around Lu Han's small waist. Sehun’s mind does not register the low whistles from Taemin and Minho nor the long sigh from Jongin, all she knows and feels at the moment is the warmth of Lu Han’s body flushed against hers and the prodding tongue inside her mouth. Their lips slot together perfectly and Sehun feels her frustrations of the past week evaporate with every second that they spend in each other’s arms. Sehun’s heart is pounding harder than it had earlier when she got nervous before the competition but her lungs burn from the lack of air so she pulls away from the kiss, lips red and shiny that has nothing to do with the lipstick she is wearing.
Sehun looks at Lu Han, eyes glazed and breathing like she’s just run a mile. Lu Han is no longer angry, her eyes bearing an emotion that Sehun has seen so many times before when Lu Han looks at her. She gulps air into her lungs as quick as she can while having a staring contest with Lu Han, each of them seems to be waiting for the other to say something. She’s barely able to catch her breath before Lu Han is pulling her by the hand with a mumbled ”be back in a while” to the three other occupants in the room.
“Take your time, lovebirds,” Minho says with a chuckle. Sehun flushes a deep red but doesn’t answer as she lets herself be pulled by Lu Han into the now empty ladies' washroom beside the dressing room.
Sehun hears the door click shut behind her as Lu Han pushes her against the wall with a hand against her heaving chest.
“Han,” Sehun wants to tell Lu Han that Jongin is just a friend and not someone she should be jealous of but she finds herself unable to have another word out with Lu Han’s lips re-claiming hers in another kiss, this time slow and deep and a little bit apologetic. Sehun thinks she will never get tired of kissing Lu Han. When their lips part, Lu Han cups her jaw with a hand, thumb tracing Sehun’s now kiss-swollen lips.
“You are so so beautiful, Sehun, and I am so fucked up,” Lu Han says, looking Sehun in the eyes in that way that makes Sehun’s knees weak.
“No no...what are you talking about? What….no,” Sehun says, confused, this wasn’t supposed to be a moment for Lu Han to be talking like this. This is supposed to be the time for them to kiss and make up and go back to being okay….whatever that is. Sehun feels like crying. Why is being in love so very difficult? A whimper escapes her throat but just as she’s about to shed tears, Lu Han’s lips finds hers again.
“You are so so beautiful, so damn beautiful, my Sehunnie. And here I am, an idiot who couldn’t even tell you how much I love you until the idea of losing you scared the shit out of me,” says Lu Han after they break the kiss for much needed air.
Much to Lu Han’s surprise, Sehun’s face is now wet, her tears flowing in an endless stream.
“Baby. Baby, hey,” Lu han says as she swipes her thumb across Sehun’s cheeks.
“Say...say it. Say it again,” Sehun chokes out in between sobs. Lu Han stares at her for a good moment before it hits her.
“I love you. I love you so damn much, my Sehunnie ,” Lu Han says. “I’m not good with words, especially not with the emotion things. But I know I love you and I won’t ever want to be without you.”
“Stupid stupid stu..” Sehun sobs into Lu Han’s shoulder before she is gently pushed and her head tilted so they are face to face again. Sehun initiates the kiss this time. It’s wet and sloppy and desperate. All those weeks of uncertainty and hurt pouring out into one kiss. Lu Han reciprocates it with all the months of doubt and holding back ebbing out of her.
Sehun lets out a moan when Lu Han licks at the roof of her mouth. The sound makes Lu Han’s blood thrum and her pulse race. Lu Han’s hands find their way to Sehun’s waist, pulling her closer so their bodies are flushed. Lu Han nibbles on Sehun’s bottom lip while one hand squeezes a boob. Sehun grinds her hips against Lu Han as her nipple gets hard from the fondling it receives, her arms going around Lu Han’s neck, arching her back to press back against Lu Han's palm. A moan escapes Sehun’s mouth when Lu Han’s other hand sneaks in between them and inside Sehun’s skirt. Lu Han can feel a wet patch in Sehun’s lacy panties. She smirks as she presses and rubs at the wetness on Sehun's underwear.
Sehun's skin feels like it's on fire as her arousal quickly builds up with every press and stroke of Lu Han's finger. She can feel her pussy getting more slick and wet due to Lu Han's ministrations, the older girl already too familiar with Sehun's body. Sehun tries to muffle her moan by biting on her tongue only to have Lu Han lean down to lick at her collarbone, one of Sehun’s sensitive points. Lu Han dips and swirls her tongue at the hollow between Sehun’s collarbones as her hand finally goes inside the lacy underwear and comes in direct contact with the skin of Sehun’s wet pussy.
“Lu Han,” Sehun says, breathless and needy. “Lu Han please….please.”
Lu Han stands upright, smiling at the blotches of red on Sehun’s collarbones courtesy of her mouth and tongue, her hand never ceasing the slow rubbing motion on Sehun’s clit. Sehun’s moan is long and filthy when Lu Han’s finger slides lower and inside her hole, Lu Han relishes the sound of Sehun’s moans and pants. Sehun looks surreal like this, mouth slack and chest heaving. her lips kiss-swollen and spit-slicked, the pink in her cheeks adding the final touch. Sehun is so beautiful but she is most beautiful like this.
“What do you want, baby? Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you,” Lu han says on Sehun’s ear. Sehun shivers, the heat in her groin taking all her sense of reason away making her forget where they are at the moment.
“Your tongue… Please, Lu Han. Fuck me with your tongue,” Sehun half-moans as Lu Han slides her finger inside of Sehun’s wet core again.
“As you wish, baby,” Lu Han says with a smirk before going down in front of Sehun. Lu Han pulls Sehun’s panties in one swift practiced move of her hand down to her ankles. She sits on her haunches before lifting the front of Sehun’s thigh length pleated skirt. She lifts Sehun’s right leg and puts it behind her back to give her more access to the wet heat of Sehun’s pussy.
The first lick of Lu Han’s soft tongue against her folds get’s Sehun gasping for air. Sehun tries to find something to hold on to but the door is devoid of any attachments so she latches on to Lu Han’s mop of pink hair. Lu Han swirls the tip of her tongue around Sehun’s clit and it makes Sehun’s thighs tremble the pleasure coursing through her veins. It feels so damn good having Lu Han lick every inch of her wet core that Sehun’s knees threaten to give out on her. Lu Han’s tongue delves deep and around and Sehun can hear the sound of slick skin. She comes with a shout when Lu Han sucks hard on her clit, her juices coming out in a spurt all over Lu Han’s face. Lu Han licks her clean with an obscene slurping sound.
Sehun’s face is still a bright shade of pink when they go back to the waiting trio, Sehun clinging to Lu Han’s arm for support while walking. There is a smug smile on Lu Han’s face as three heads turn towards them when they enter the room. They make a good act of pretending that they didn’t hear anything.
Sehun looks around the cafeteria for a mop of platinum blonde hair as she enters the cafeteria. She’s starving and she feels like the world is spinning so she takes a bit longer to find her target. She sees a hand waving frantically before she she’s the head of blonde hair. She hurries towards the table, her hungry stomach announcing the state of neglect it is suffering.
Lu Han smiles at her even as Sehun is still a couple of meters away. Sehun expects Lu Han to scoot over but the older girl pulls Sehun down on her lap. Sehun yelps and hits Lu Han lightly on the shoulder. Lu Han tisks at her when Sehun’s stomach grumbles loudly. Lu Han is quick to feed her with a spoonful of baked macaroni from her own food tray.
Sehun is happily chewing on her food when someone clears their throat obnoxiously. Sehun turns her head just the slightest to see who it is even though she already knows just by the sound of the voice.
“So,.... we take it you guys are on the honeymoon phase already?” Minseok says with a suggestive wiggle of her perfectly shaped eyebrows.
Lu han laughs as Sehun blushes from head to foot.
“Are we?” Lu Han says, voice playful. “Are we, Sehunnie?”
Sehun splutters incoherently, eyes wide while attempting to glare at Lu Han.
“We are what we are. There is no need to put a label on us.” Lu Han says, smile serene.
********************************************************
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 6.2k
Summary: Being unsure about being in love is maybe just that tad bit difficult.
Warning/s: Femslash, Smut. Taemin/Kai if you squint
Author's Note: Originally written for http://selubration.livejournal.com/43681.html
Sehun glances around the packed cafeteria as she enters, her bag hanging loosely on one shoulder while she tugs Jongin who is mumbling about sore feet and dead toenails. Having dance classes so early in the morning is not exactly her favorite part of being a college student but since she is a Modern Dance major Sehun just plasters a smile ( More like a grimace. Jongin says) in front of the entire class until they are dismissed and are free to wear any unpleasant facial expression they so wish. For now, the tiredness and aching muscles are not relevant. She is famished. She needs to find someone before she can eat so she drags a mumbling Jongin through a herd of hungry college students.
Sehun finds what she's looking for soon enough because she only has to get a glimpse of bubble gum pink hair to know that Lu Han is in the cafeteria. The pink dye job certainly has its benefits although it gave Sehun quite a shock (the good oh damn you're so pretty kind) when she first saw Lu Han sporting it. Sehun tugs on Jongin's hand a little harder as she quicken her steps to get to the table where Lu Han and her group of friends are about to start their lunch.
Lu Han is giggling and the sight of her happy face makes Sehun's heart flutter. Lu Han is breathtakingly beautiful with her eyes crinkled and white teeth in full display. She might look like a fairy with that pink mop of hair but Sehun knows better than to describe her as girly. Lu Han is captain of the university's volleyball team and wallops a mean spike that remains constant in a game duration no matter how many times she executes it. She eats like a cow too, and Sehun wonders if Lu Han has ever heard of the word diet because she can swear Lu Han has not gained an ounce of weight in the two years that they have known each other.
Sehun's smile evaporates from her face faster than Jongin can do a pirouette when she sees Kris, the volleyball team's resident (flirt) blocker, feed Lu Han the half of the strawberry she had in her mouth just seconds ago. Now, Sehun is not the jealous type (she puts up with Lu Han's legions of fans both males and females) but there is something about the way "Krissy" blushes when Lu Han calls her that that ticks Sehun off. Kris is a third year, in the same class with Lu Han taking Accountancy, and taller than everyone Sehun has ever known and therefore shouldn’t be acting like a high school girl with a crush, but she does and Sehun can barely keep the green headed monster gnawing at her chest at bay.
Sehun makes use of her long legs and reaches the table in a few strides, making Jongin stumble after her. Jongin is now used to being dragged by Sehun around campus even if they have only known each other for a couple of semesters. Luhan looks up and sees Sehun and smiles that happy smile that Sehun usually sees when Luhan talks about volleyball and sitting in rocking chairs while holding hands in a porch during sunset when they are old and wrinkly. Sehun tries to give Lu Han a smile but only manages a half grimace as Kris pulls Jongin to sit beside her. Lu Han scoots a bit to give Sehun enough space to sit beside her. Sehun plops down beside Lu Han unceremoniously and gives Chanyeol (the other blocker, she and Kris are the team's Twin Towers), and Minseok (the tosser, shortest member of the team but also the oldest) a small smile but scowls at Kris in front of her.
Sehun is contemplating whether to kick Jongin's knees which is so conveniently just in front of her when she feels warmth on her waist. Sehun looks down to find Lu Han's hand resting on the thin material of her blouse and the warmth seeping through the fabric feels nice, it feels like home. She can feel the same warmth creeping up her neck and face and she turns to look at Lu Han who is holding a spoonful of fried rice in front of her face.
"Eat, Sehun," says Lu Han as she brings the spoon closer to Sehun's mouth.
Sehun is about to protest about being spoon-fed in such a public place but her stomach chooses that time to grumble making Lu Han raise a brow, unspoken reproach evident in her eyes. Traitor stomach. Sehun is left with not much choice but to eat what Lu Han is feeding her. Lu Han gives her a smile again while she chews the food inside her mouth. She sighs in content, her annoyance from earlier already swept in limbo, as she feels Lu Han's thumb softly kneading the sore muscles at the small of her back. Lu Han really knows how to take care of her.
Sehun lets Lu Han feed her. Lu Han gets her way most of the time anyway even though it’s the older girl who complains that Sehun is so used to getting everything she wants. Spoilt princess is what Lu Han fondly calls her when it’s just the two of them.
“Why did we not get an invitation to your wedding?”
Sehun turns to look at Minseok, the source of the scandalous question, wondering who the eldest girl on the table is asking. Minseok’s eyes are squinted at her and Sehun doesn’t know what to say. Minseok has always been quiet and just content to watch things flow around her.
She’s a nice girl who gets along with everyone and is fond of Sehun so she doesn’t really understand where the question is coming from.
"You look like an old married couple,” says Kris who is now giving Jongin her bowl of strawberries.
Sehun chokes on her food. (It’s actually Lu Han’s food that Lu Han is now feeding to her and oh Lu Han is still eating it too) She makes to grab the bottle of cider in front of Lu Han but the older girl is faster and has the straw in front of her lips in a matter of seconds. Sehun takes a long sip while Lu Han is thumping her back gently before setting the bottle down and giving Lu Han a grateful smile.
“You guys are scaring Sehun,” Luhan says as she puts both her hands on the table. Sehun misses the warmth of her hand already.
"We are just…stating the obvious." Minseok and Kris high five after saying it at the same time. Lu Han shakes her pretty pink head beside Sehun. She takes a sip of her cider and makes a show of slowly swallowing it before turning to face Minseok and Kris. Lu Han doesn't notice Sehun fidgeting with the hem of her blouse.
Sehun wants to know what Lu Han will say. Scratch that. Sehun wants to know what she and Lu Han are. She doesn't know if they are just friends because friends don't fuck each other on a regular basis. She doesn't know if they are fuck buddies. Sehun refuses to believe that they are just friends with benefits because surely cuddling after (mind blowing) sex, making out in secluded spots in campus, and going on dates at least weekly aren't things that FWB do.
Sehun is fine with the things that they do, she really is. She likes kissing Lu Han, likes how Lu Han eats her out until she’s squirting in Lu Han’s face, likes the slow drag of Lu Han’s dainty hands all over her body, likes the butterfly kisses that Lu Han showers on her face. Sehun likes so many things that Lu Han does to her and with her, but Lu Han has never said anything about what they are, never said “I love you”.
“How do you even know that she hasn’t eaten yet?” It’s Chanyeol that asks this time, her voice just a decibel louder than the voices of everyone at their table. Her curiosity would have been welcome any other time, what with her big round eyes and twitching ears that reminds Sehun of puppies, but not today.
“It’s because Lu Han has Sehun’s schedule memorized by heart,” Kris happily supplies, “she knows when Sehun has free period, when Sehun has what subject at what time. You should see her check her watch every end of the classes we share together. Last time, I tried following her after one of our classes to see where she runs off to, but I couldn’t catch up with her. The next thing I know she’s walking with Sehun to the library.”
“Wow!” Chanyeol’s eyes turn as big as the plums that she’s eating, “You should try being a detective, Unnie!”
“Didn’t you hear what she said, Chanyeol? She couldn’t keep up with Lu Han. Her long legs are even no match to Lu Han’s speed.” Minseok snickers as Kris pouts beside her. “Let’s not deviate from the topic. When were you going to tell us, Lu? Or were we supposed to just figure it out for ourselves?”
“There is nothing to tell, Minseok. I take care of Sehun because she’s such a baby despite her height. And I am a good Unnie who takes care of her dongsaengs. You’re just reading too much into it,” Luhan says without a pause. She gives Minseok a pointed look and does the same to Kris. The two let’s the subject drop with a shrug of their shoulders but not without giving Sehun a glance. They have known Lu Han since freshman year and thus have come to know when to let go of a topic to avoid her anger.
Sehun has her head down, suddenly finding the frayed laces of her shoes more interesting than the conversation of the occupants of the table. She honestly did not expect for Lu Han to tell the others of the things they do when they are in private. Neither did she expect to be brushed aside like that though. Her throat suddenly feels dry, a stark contrast to the wetness that threatens to flood her eyes and spill over. She nudges Jongin’s foot with her own, keeping her eyes downcast.
Jongin looks at Sehun, brows furrowed but her eyes soften when she sees the downturn of Sehun’s lips. Jongin swallows the last bits of strawberries in her mouth before clearing her throat, averting the attention of everyone in the table towards her. Jongin might not know Sehun the longest but hours after hours spent together dancing and studying everyday has gotten them closer. Sehun has been helping Jongin from the day she transferred in their university even if Sehun is younger by a few months and Jongin is nothing short of grateful for Sehun's friendship. Now that Sehun is the one in need of Jongin's help, Jongin will give her all that she'll need.
“Sorry to interrupt this convention but Sehun and I need to go practice for our dance demo next week,” Jongin says, slowly standing up and smoothing the front of her white linen blouse. “Ms. Kwon expects us to get the choreo down pat by tomorrow so we better get working on it.”
Sehun lifts her head just the slightest to give Jongin a grateful smile before standing up and hitching her bag back on her shoulder. She gives them a small wave and excuses herself, mumbling an “I’ll see you later” to whoever cares to listen. She doesn’t see the way Lu Han’s brows twitch as she watches Jongin pull Sehun by the wrist out of the cafeteria.
Minseok and Kris eye Lu Han pointedly then, only to get glared at. They sigh in unison and Chanyeol just looks on sadly. Lu Han scowls at the bowl of fried rice in front of her.
Once outside of the cafeteria, Jongin pulls Sehun to the direction of the nearest washroom so she can cry if she wants. Sehun doesn’t even realize where they are headed until Jongin slams the door of the washroom closed. Jongin looks at Sehun’s face and opens her arms, an open invitation for her friend. Sehun doesn’t hesitate and goes into Jongin’s waiting arms before sobbing her eyes out. Jongin somehow manages to pull out a pack of tissues from her bag and gives it to Sehun who has her face buried on Jongin’s shoulder.
Jongin didn’t expect Lu Han’s answer earlier. To be quite honest, Jongin expected Lu Han to say that she and Sehun are dating because Jongin is witness to how Lu Han looks at Sehun when the two are together, and the way Sehun’s eyes twinkle even just at the mention of Lu Han’s name. (And Jongin is sure she has seen the two in a liplock once or twice when they thought no one would be able to see them.) Jongin is quite confused to say the least. She knows Lu Han is not a bitch who will say things to deliberately hurt people but she wonders if Lu Han realized how much her words had hurt Sehun back in the cafeteria.
Jongin’s musing is interrupted by Sehun blowing her nose on a tissue, her sobs now subsided. Jongin notes that her shoulder is wet and the strap of her bra is clearly visible through the fabric of her blouse. She doesn’t mind though, Sehun is more important than a wet blouse and discernible bra.
“Hey,” Jongin says, voice soft, as she tries to lift Sehun’s face with a finger under her chin. “Look at me.”
Sehun looks at Jongin, albeit reluctantly. Her eyes are red and puffy having spent a while crying, her cheeks are flushed and wet, and her nose is still moist. Jongin wipes the tears under her eyes.
“I’m sorry, Jongin.” Sehun says, voice coming out small and unsure. Sehun feels small.
“It’s okay. We’re friends, and friends should always be there for each other, right?” Jongin smiles at Sehun and Sehun couldn’t be more thankful so she nods solemnly and gives Jongin a watery smile. “C’mon, you should wash your face. We don’t want your pretty face having dried snot later, do we?”
Sehun swats at Jongin’s arm weakly but let’s herself be pulled to the sink where she splashes her face with water. The cold water feels refreshing to Sehun’s warm skin making her once again thankful towards Jongin. What Sehun is most thankful for is the fact that Jongin doesn’t ask questions that Sehun would rather not think about at the moment and they aren’t in a place where matters should be discussed. After Sehun has dried her face and applied some lipstick and face powder, they exit the washroom, ignoring the stares of those that they left in there.
Sehun doesn’t make any efforts to contact Lu Han for days after the cafeteria incident. She buries her nose into her books and spends her free time in the practice rooms in the university. Jongin stays with Sehun wherever Sehun wants to be. They study together in the library and spend hours in the practice room. Jongin wasn’t lying when she said they needed to practice although at that time when she said it, it was just an excuse. Ms. Kwon decided after watching Sehun and Jongin’s demo that the two girls are ready for their first dance competition.
Sehun pours her energy into everything and anything that is not Lu Han. She goes through their choreography again and again even when Jongin begs for a break because her bones feel like crumbling. She ignores Lu Han’s calls and messages, her phone now set on silent mode during school hours. If Lu Han notices that Sehun is avoiding her, she doesn’t say anything.
Lu Han corners Sehun on Monday, exactly one week after what happened at the cafeteria. Sehun and Jongin had just come back from having lunch outside of campus and were headed to the Liberal Arts building where they will have their next class when Lu Han shows up and blocks Sehun’s path.
“Sehun-ah,” Lu Han says as a greeting, her voice clipped. Sehun is surprised to see her then because Lu Han is supposed to be in class at this hour on Mondays, but she makes sure the surprise doesn’t show on her face as well as the smile that threatened to stretch her lips when Lu Han’s eyebrows twitched at the sight of Jongin and Sehun’s clasped hands. Jongin notices where Lu Han is looking and quickly drops Sehun’s hand.
“I’ll go ahead to the classroom, Sehun-ah,” Jongin says, giving Sehun an encouraging smile before bowing slightly to Lu Han. ”Nice seeing you today, Unnie.”
Lu Han responds with a nod, brows knitted. Jongin’s hips sway gracefully as she seems to glide across the floor instead of walk, Lu Han notices. Lu Han wonders if Jongin is straight. She makes a mental note to ask later. For now, she needs to have a word with Sehun.
"I haven't seen you much lately, Sehun-ah. I was wondering how you've been and if you were ok because you didn't come for cheering squad practice. If I didn't ask Yixing yesterday if you've quit, I wouldn't have known about the competition," Lu Han says in one breath while trying to hold Sehun's gaze.
"Yeah, sorry about that. I've..." Sehun trails off as she sees Mr. Jung approach the classroom. "Look, I've been busy because of that and Ms. Kwon told us to practice until we make it perfect so I had no time to see you." It’s not entirely a lie but it isn’t the whole truth either. It will just have to do for now. Sehun berates herself mentally for even chancing a glance at Lu Han. Lu Han looks so sad and so lost like an abandoned kitty that it makes Sehun feel bad.
"I'm sorry but I have to go. Mr. Jung already went inside. You know he gets pissy when students come late." Sehun makes to dash for the classroom but finds herself unable to move because of Lu Han's grip on her wrist.
"At least answer my calls, Sehun-ah. I was beginning to think I never meant..."
Sehun waits for Lu Han to continue but the older girl seems to have trouble articulating words. Sehun watches with a quickening heartbeat as Lu Han swallows repeatedly, white teeth worrying at her bottom lip. Oh how Sehun misses those lips.
"I worry a lot about you. If you answer my calls at least I will know that you're alright." Lu Han is rubbing the toe of her sneakers against the floor, a habit when she is nervous as Sehun has learned after knowing her for so long. Why Lu Han is nervous now in front of her baffles Sehun but she doesn’t have the luxury of time to think about it at the moment.
“I….Ok, I will give you a call later.” Sehun says before turning around and heading for the classroom. She doesn’t dare to look back in fear that she might just change her mind and succumb to that kicked puppy face of Lu Han right now. Sehun knows they need to talk, but she is afraid that she might not be ready to hear what Lu Han has to say. She likes Lu Han too much (“It’s l-o-v-e!”, Jongin insists) that it will hurt so much more if her doubts about the status of their relationship are confirmed. `
Sehun doesn’t call Lu Han later that day or the day after but she replies to the messages that Lu Han sends her on kakaotalk. She tells Lu Han that she’s fine despite feeling like her entire body got a bad beating and her throat being more parched than the Sahara. She keeps her messages at the minimum everyday but Lu Han shows up and brings her packed lunch and bottled water, reminding her to eat and hydrate herself so she doesn’t get sick before or on the day of the competition. Lu Han has her own volleyball practice in the afternoons so she doesn’t stay too long but makes sure that Sehun promises to eat when hungry and drink water in between breaks.
Sehun is happy that Lu Han is taking care of her. (She’s not happy that Jongin is teasing her to hell and back when Lu Han leaves though.) She feels important, loved even, by the way Lu Han is showering her with affection but she still doesn’t know where they stand and just exactly what kind of relationship they have. It’s all very confusing and frustrating to think of and Sehun doesn’t need any of that right now when it’s barely three weeks before the competition.
sigh
"Focus. After this competition you can go charging at Lu Han and tell her to either fess up or go to hell. Just for now, focus on this dance, Sehun-ah," Jongin says in a soothing voice. Sehun has made a few mistakes during today's practice, her mind preoccupied and her heart in disarray. Jongin understands that feelings can mess up a girl's mind like nothing else can so she feels bad for Sehun. She feels even worse that she can't do anything since it's between Sehun and Lu Han, and she's not the type to meddle in people's affairs of the heart.
Lu Han's first game of the season coincides with Sehun's dance competition. Lu Han looks so crestfallen while telling Sehun just three days before the dreaded event. Sehun can't say that she is thrilled to have Lu Han watch her dance her heart out for the approval of the judges but knowing that Lu Han will not be there to cheer her on douses Sehun with disappointment. Lu Han’s apologetic face stays in Sehun’s mind until the day of the event.
The dance competition is being held in their university while Lu Han is on an away game. Sehun and Jongin both look stunning in their outfits of body-hugging black and white satin ensemble with their hairs kept in an elegant bun on their heads. Their partners, Minho and Taemin, are equally handsome in their outfits. They are third to take to the stage out of eleven contesting groups in front of a panel of six judges and over five hundred seated audience. Sehun feels like there is a thousand butterfly wings fluttering in her stomach as she makes her way to the center of the stage, her hand held by Minho while Taemin holds Jongin's.
Sehun thinks she will go deaf after they finish their number, whether from the thunderous applause of the auditorium or from the pounding of her heart, she isn't sure. They go to the back of the stage to wait for the program to finish and for the winner to be announced instead of watching the rest of the participants upon Minho's and Taemin's advice.
"We will only make ourselves worry if we see others who we think are better than us," Minho says as he passes bottles of water to the others.
"We might get our hopes up too high if we see anyone fumble only to be disappointed later on if we lose by a few points," Taemin adds before taking a drink.
The wait feels like forever but Sehun sits calmly in one of the armchairs, the tension and anxiety of the past weeks slowly seeping out of the pores of her skin while Jongin paces around the room.
"Sit down, Jongin. You will scrub the heels of your shoes flat if you keep at it," Taemin says with a smile. Jongin stops in her tracks and gives a shy, nervous smile in return before sitting down in an armchair across Sehun. Sehun raises her brow at Jongin who pointedly looks at the wall to ignore her, a faint dusting of pink blooming on her cheeks. Sehun covers her mouth with the back of her hand in an attempt to hide the chuckles that she couldn't hold in. Jongin kicks her shin as revenge.
Sehun and Jongin are both smiling when all participants get called back to the stage. Albeit nervous, they are not afraid of the outcome of the competition knowing that they have done their best. Sehun finds Jongin's hand and grips it firmly as they await the announcement of winners. Sehun's gasp of surprise is mirrored by Jongin when they are announced as first prize winners. They turn to each other sporting the same wide grins that threaten to split their faces in half.
Jongin hugs Sehun as they jump and squeal when they get backstage while Minho and Taemin just look on with amused smiles on their faces. They get congratulated by the other participants, some going as far as saying they will be going places as the next stars of the dance floor. Sehun and Jongin couldn't be more elated even as they say that they still have a lot to learn and a long way to go.
Soon, the people that crowded the backstage earlier dwindle in number, leaving mostly just the four of them and students from their faculty who are in charge of cleaning up after the competition. Sehun and Jongin fall onto the couch after another bout of squealing and jumping, their energy seemingly rejuvenated by the promise of celebratory dinner by Ms. Kwon for their win.
"Ow! Get your heavy ass off of me, Sehun!" Jongin says even as she laughs. Sehun just laughs into Jongin's shoulder, not even bothering to move. Sehun's laughter is cut short when she feels a strong grip on her shoulders pulling her up and away from the couch.
Sehun spins around and finds herself face to face with Lu Han. There is a bouquet of red, pink, and white flowers on the floor beside Lu Han's feet. Lu Han's hands are balled into fists and she is shaking from what Sehun presumes as anger.
"Lu Han..." Sehun says in a small voice, her eyes following Lu Han's line of vision. Lu Han is looking at Jongin with so much contempt it makes Sehun shiver. "Han, it's not what you think..." Sehun says, hoping Lu Han will listen to her as she tries to explain the situation.
"It's not what I think? You avoid me for weeks and it's still not what I think?" Lu Han spits through gritted teeth. Sehun shakes her head so fast she hears a snap on her neck.
"No? Do you think I'm stupid, Sehun?" Lu Han's voice is cold and her words venomous, her anger flooding the room. Sehun can only shake her head again as she bites her lower lip to stop herself from crying. Sehun sees Jongin sit up on the couch from her peripheral vision so she gestures with her hand to make Jongin stay where she is. Unfortunately, the small action only angers Lu Han further.
"Do you want to know what I think, Sehun?" Sehun's lower lip trembles as she braces herself for the onslaught of harsh words that Lu Han is about to spit. It's not fair that Lu Han can get angry over a wrong assumption while Sehun can't even get angry for being brushed aside. It shocks Sehun and takes everyone in the room by surprise when Lu Han suddenly pulls Sehun with a hand on her nape and kisses her.
The kiss is angry and just a little bit on the desperate side. Sehun's eyes are wide in shock as Lu Han swipes her tongue against Sehun's lips but it doesn't take long before Sehun is kissing back, her arms snaking around Lu Han's small waist. Sehun’s mind does not register the low whistles from Taemin and Minho nor the long sigh from Jongin, all she knows and feels at the moment is the warmth of Lu Han’s body flushed against hers and the prodding tongue inside her mouth. Their lips slot together perfectly and Sehun feels her frustrations of the past week evaporate with every second that they spend in each other’s arms. Sehun’s heart is pounding harder than it had earlier when she got nervous before the competition but her lungs burn from the lack of air so she pulls away from the kiss, lips red and shiny that has nothing to do with the lipstick she is wearing.
Sehun looks at Lu Han, eyes glazed and breathing like she’s just run a mile. Lu Han is no longer angry, her eyes bearing an emotion that Sehun has seen so many times before when Lu Han looks at her. She gulps air into her lungs as quick as she can while having a staring contest with Lu Han, each of them seems to be waiting for the other to say something. She’s barely able to catch her breath before Lu Han is pulling her by the hand with a mumbled ”be back in a while” to the three other occupants in the room.
“Take your time, lovebirds,” Minho says with a chuckle. Sehun flushes a deep red but doesn’t answer as she lets herself be pulled by Lu Han into the now empty ladies' washroom beside the dressing room.
Sehun hears the door click shut behind her as Lu Han pushes her against the wall with a hand against her heaving chest.
“Han,” Sehun wants to tell Lu Han that Jongin is just a friend and not someone she should be jealous of but she finds herself unable to have another word out with Lu Han’s lips re-claiming hers in another kiss, this time slow and deep and a little bit apologetic. Sehun thinks she will never get tired of kissing Lu Han. When their lips part, Lu Han cups her jaw with a hand, thumb tracing Sehun’s now kiss-swollen lips.
“You are so so beautiful, Sehun, and I am so fucked up,” Lu Han says, looking Sehun in the eyes in that way that makes Sehun’s knees weak.
“No no...what are you talking about? What….no,” Sehun says, confused, this wasn’t supposed to be a moment for Lu Han to be talking like this. This is supposed to be the time for them to kiss and make up and go back to being okay….whatever that is. Sehun feels like crying. Why is being in love so very difficult? A whimper escapes her throat but just as she’s about to shed tears, Lu Han’s lips finds hers again.
“You are so so beautiful, so damn beautiful, my Sehunnie. And here I am, an idiot who couldn’t even tell you how much I love you until the idea of losing you scared the shit out of me,” says Lu Han after they break the kiss for much needed air.
Much to Lu Han’s surprise, Sehun’s face is now wet, her tears flowing in an endless stream.
“Baby. Baby, hey,” Lu han says as she swipes her thumb across Sehun’s cheeks.
“Say...say it. Say it again,” Sehun chokes out in between sobs. Lu Han stares at her for a good moment before it hits her.
“I love you. I love you so damn much, my Sehunnie ,” Lu Han says. “I’m not good with words, especially not with the emotion things. But I know I love you and I won’t ever want to be without you.”
“Stupid stupid stu..” Sehun sobs into Lu Han’s shoulder before she is gently pushed and her head tilted so they are face to face again. Sehun initiates the kiss this time. It’s wet and sloppy and desperate. All those weeks of uncertainty and hurt pouring out into one kiss. Lu Han reciprocates it with all the months of doubt and holding back ebbing out of her.
Sehun lets out a moan when Lu Han licks at the roof of her mouth. The sound makes Lu Han’s blood thrum and her pulse race. Lu Han’s hands find their way to Sehun’s waist, pulling her closer so their bodies are flushed. Lu Han nibbles on Sehun’s bottom lip while one hand squeezes a boob. Sehun grinds her hips against Lu Han as her nipple gets hard from the fondling it receives, her arms going around Lu Han’s neck, arching her back to press back against Lu Han's palm. A moan escapes Sehun’s mouth when Lu Han’s other hand sneaks in between them and inside Sehun’s skirt. Lu Han can feel a wet patch in Sehun’s lacy panties. She smirks as she presses and rubs at the wetness on Sehun's underwear.
Sehun's skin feels like it's on fire as her arousal quickly builds up with every press and stroke of Lu Han's finger. She can feel her pussy getting more slick and wet due to Lu Han's ministrations, the older girl already too familiar with Sehun's body. Sehun tries to muffle her moan by biting on her tongue only to have Lu Han lean down to lick at her collarbone, one of Sehun’s sensitive points. Lu Han dips and swirls her tongue at the hollow between Sehun’s collarbones as her hand finally goes inside the lacy underwear and comes in direct contact with the skin of Sehun’s wet pussy.
“Lu Han,” Sehun says, breathless and needy. “Lu Han please….please.”
Lu Han stands upright, smiling at the blotches of red on Sehun’s collarbones courtesy of her mouth and tongue, her hand never ceasing the slow rubbing motion on Sehun’s clit. Sehun’s moan is long and filthy when Lu Han’s finger slides lower and inside her hole, Lu Han relishes the sound of Sehun’s moans and pants. Sehun looks surreal like this, mouth slack and chest heaving. her lips kiss-swollen and spit-slicked, the pink in her cheeks adding the final touch. Sehun is so beautiful but she is most beautiful like this.
“What do you want, baby? Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you,” Lu han says on Sehun’s ear. Sehun shivers, the heat in her groin taking all her sense of reason away making her forget where they are at the moment.
“Your tongue… Please, Lu Han. Fuck me with your tongue,” Sehun half-moans as Lu Han slides her finger inside of Sehun’s wet core again.
“As you wish, baby,” Lu Han says with a smirk before going down in front of Sehun. Lu Han pulls Sehun’s panties in one swift practiced move of her hand down to her ankles. She sits on her haunches before lifting the front of Sehun’s thigh length pleated skirt. She lifts Sehun’s right leg and puts it behind her back to give her more access to the wet heat of Sehun’s pussy.
The first lick of Lu Han’s soft tongue against her folds get’s Sehun gasping for air. Sehun tries to find something to hold on to but the door is devoid of any attachments so she latches on to Lu Han’s mop of pink hair. Lu Han swirls the tip of her tongue around Sehun’s clit and it makes Sehun’s thighs tremble the pleasure coursing through her veins. It feels so damn good having Lu Han lick every inch of her wet core that Sehun’s knees threaten to give out on her. Lu Han’s tongue delves deep and around and Sehun can hear the sound of slick skin. She comes with a shout when Lu Han sucks hard on her clit, her juices coming out in a spurt all over Lu Han’s face. Lu Han licks her clean with an obscene slurping sound.
Sehun’s face is still a bright shade of pink when they go back to the waiting trio, Sehun clinging to Lu Han’s arm for support while walking. There is a smug smile on Lu Han’s face as three heads turn towards them when they enter the room. They make a good act of pretending that they didn’t hear anything.
Sehun looks around the cafeteria for a mop of platinum blonde hair as she enters the cafeteria. She’s starving and she feels like the world is spinning so she takes a bit longer to find her target. She sees a hand waving frantically before she she’s the head of blonde hair. She hurries towards the table, her hungry stomach announcing the state of neglect it is suffering.
Lu Han smiles at her even as Sehun is still a couple of meters away. Sehun expects Lu Han to scoot over but the older girl pulls Sehun down on her lap. Sehun yelps and hits Lu Han lightly on the shoulder. Lu Han tisks at her when Sehun’s stomach grumbles loudly. Lu Han is quick to feed her with a spoonful of baked macaroni from her own food tray.
Sehun is happily chewing on her food when someone clears their throat obnoxiously. Sehun turns her head just the slightest to see who it is even though she already knows just by the sound of the voice.
“So,.... we take it you guys are on the honeymoon phase already?” Minseok says with a suggestive wiggle of her perfectly shaped eyebrows.
Lu han laughs as Sehun blushes from head to foot.
“Are we?” Lu Han says, voice playful. “Are we, Sehunnie?”
Sehun splutters incoherently, eyes wide while attempting to glare at Lu Han.
“We are what we are. There is no need to put a label on us.” Lu Han says, smile serene.
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