Love hurts...
She wants me back, I knew she would be in pieces. I didn't even mean to break up with her, we were just lying on the bed and she asked me what I was thinking. I bet she wasn't expecting that. Love hurts. It really hurts. I thought I was doing the right thing, but now I miss her so much that it doesn't seem so right anymore. I've turned to my mates for advice, and they just said that I should let it settle. So that's what I'm going to do. I miss her so much that I'm forgetting the reasons I broke up with her:
1. What if she isn't 'the one'? What if by being with her I am missing out on finding them?
2. When I go back to uni, I don't want to have the ties that I had throughout my first year. I want to be able to dance with a girl in a club and not feel guilty.
3. When I was with her, it felt like there were no more surprises. There was no spark. Our future was dead set. I'm not sure I want that. I want some spontanaety. I'm still discovering who I am, I don't want to settle down just yet.
They are the biggies. The problem I have now is - is it worth risking a perfectly healthy relationship, just to find out if they really are 'the one'? I can get back with Katie, all I have to do is ask. But how do I know things will not just slip to how they were before? I've broken her heart, I know I have, and I knew I would. I hope it was worth it. She has told me she will wait for me, she doesn't want to see if there is anyone else. I just want a break from her, I don't want to lose her - but it isn't fair on her for me to mess her about, so I have told her if she doesn't want to hang around she doesn't have to and I will understand that.
Have I thrown it all away? Oh god.... what if I have? I could lose her forever. Then there is all the hassle of giving each others stuff back, more tearful conversations. I don't cry, but I'm a really sensitive guy and as it all tumbled out of my mouth I had tears rolling off my cheeks. I wish I could be more hardened against it, but I have a feeling this stuff doesn't get any easier the more experience you have of it. Could we just be friends? Would that work? I've seen it work before.
Life is so hard at the minute. I just need to get away from all of it. I'm good at being optimistic, but this is really crushing me.
1. What if she isn't 'the one'? What if by being with her I am missing out on finding them?
2. When I go back to uni, I don't want to have the ties that I had throughout my first year. I want to be able to dance with a girl in a club and not feel guilty.
3. When I was with her, it felt like there were no more surprises. There was no spark. Our future was dead set. I'm not sure I want that. I want some spontanaety. I'm still discovering who I am, I don't want to settle down just yet.
They are the biggies. The problem I have now is - is it worth risking a perfectly healthy relationship, just to find out if they really are 'the one'? I can get back with Katie, all I have to do is ask. But how do I know things will not just slip to how they were before? I've broken her heart, I know I have, and I knew I would. I hope it was worth it. She has told me she will wait for me, she doesn't want to see if there is anyone else. I just want a break from her, I don't want to lose her - but it isn't fair on her for me to mess her about, so I have told her if she doesn't want to hang around she doesn't have to and I will understand that.
Have I thrown it all away? Oh god.... what if I have? I could lose her forever. Then there is all the hassle of giving each others stuff back, more tearful conversations. I don't cry, but I'm a really sensitive guy and as it all tumbled out of my mouth I had tears rolling off my cheeks. I wish I could be more hardened against it, but I have a feeling this stuff doesn't get any easier the more experience you have of it. Could we just be friends? Would that work? I've seen it work before.
Life is so hard at the minute. I just need to get away from all of it. I'm good at being optimistic, but this is really crushing me.