To be or not to be...
So here is a quick update since my eyes are still burning from the tears that I shed now...
1. Had an arguement with my fiance 2 days ago. A big misunderstanding and a lot of lies from her. But we made it all work out. I still feel the pain from the lies though.
2. I missed movement today to go to Camp Humphreys at 5 this morning to take my drivers test. Someone tripped the circuit breaker so when I woke up this morning at 6 I was already too late. I went outside to find my Platoon Sergeant (the B*TCH) and she was with my First Sergeant. Basically, they said I did this on purpose and that I didn't want to take the test. So they stuck me out at work. 2 FUCKING DAYS BEFORE ME AND MY GIRL'S ANNIVERSARY!!!
3. I just saw the pictures from my brothers wedding. I cried through that.
4. Follow-up this Thursday with my surgery coming up.
5. After this morning, I debated which one would be easier: ending my life or running away. I cried myself to throwing up thinking about that.
6. Shit with my dad has pissed me off even more.
7. The club owners of where my girl works at are chaning the way things work. Now they will have to dance in bra and panties. Or topless. So I'm doing everything I can to get her out of there and for her to marry me now. That's the only thing I can think of. Because she doesn't want that. I don't want to see her do it. I think I'd lose my mind if I see her topless in a club sitting with a customer and he's drunk and tries to grab her. No. I know I'd lose it.
Is this life really not for me? Am I supposed to go through this much pain and anger??? Fuck this.
1. Had an arguement with my fiance 2 days ago. A big misunderstanding and a lot of lies from her. But we made it all work out. I still feel the pain from the lies though.
2. I missed movement today to go to Camp Humphreys at 5 this morning to take my drivers test. Someone tripped the circuit breaker so when I woke up this morning at 6 I was already too late. I went outside to find my Platoon Sergeant (the B*TCH) and she was with my First Sergeant. Basically, they said I did this on purpose and that I didn't want to take the test. So they stuck me out at work. 2 FUCKING DAYS BEFORE ME AND MY GIRL'S ANNIVERSARY!!!
3. I just saw the pictures from my brothers wedding. I cried through that.
4. Follow-up this Thursday with my surgery coming up.
5. After this morning, I debated which one would be easier: ending my life or running away. I cried myself to throwing up thinking about that.
6. Shit with my dad has pissed me off even more.
7. The club owners of where my girl works at are chaning the way things work. Now they will have to dance in bra and panties. Or topless. So I'm doing everything I can to get her out of there and for her to marry me now. That's the only thing I can think of. Because she doesn't want that. I don't want to see her do it. I think I'd lose my mind if I see her topless in a club sitting with a customer and he's drunk and tries to grab her. No. I know I'd lose it.
Is this life really not for me? Am I supposed to go through this much pain and anger??? Fuck this.