How to Deal with People who have OCPD
For those who don't already know, OCPD stands for "Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder" (not to be confused with obsessive compulsive disorder, which is entirely something else), and is a serious problem for individuals who have it. The most pronounced symptoms of people who have OCPD include, but are not limited to:
-The refusal to admit being wrong. This is tied in with perfection.
-Must stubbornly and rigidly have his way with things. Will do anything to get it.
-Belief in absolute morality; that one is a moral center knowing right from wrong. Believes/expects the same of others.
-Believes everyone else has to do things his way.
-Has a terribly black and white view of the world.
-Nothing is considered "trivial".
-Does not willingly acknowledge that he has OCPD. (usually)
I have observed these things in a particular individual that used to be close to a few of my friends. I once considered him a friend before as well. Being with people who have OCPD has caused lots of trouble and discomfort for my friends that once considered being friends with him, and while it has affected them quite significantly, I'm not quite bothered by him. The things he has done to my friends is disgusting and unacceptable; and I concede to that. I don't doubt he could have done the same to me, yet it has never happened for the mere and simple reason that I'm a "robot".
It's probably no longer necessary to keep the identity of the one who has OCPD that lead me to these experiences hidden, as it should already be painstakingly obvious. But I'll give you a hint: Among all the Final Fantasy forums and communities, especially Advent Children.net, FFOmega, FFSpirit, and FFExtreme, he is one of the most hated members of all. To an even greater effect, he is also being voted consistently for the ACF awards for positions like "most underhanded" and "worst comeback". The one whom most members hate most of all on almost any Final Fantasy forum is none other than Words of Ivory.
But how have I been able to avoid being pestered by him? I do not fit within the equation of Words' plans, nor has he really been able to manipulate me. Let's take a closer look at how he failed.
"The refusal to admit being wrong. This is tied in with perfection."
I'm not particularly bothered by people who refuse to admit being wrong. It does not hurt me to see people ignore things they don't consider wrong and would miss out on learning something if they could concede to their mistake. If anything, they'd only be damaging themselves, something for which they do not realize is happening to them. What this does tell me though is that anything I tell Words falls on deaf ears, thus when I tell him something, I either do not expect him to believe me, nor do I expect anything I say to change what he thinks. If it bothers him that I'm not a perfectionist, striving to be more perfect with the things I do, I am not bothered if he thinks he can pester me about it. He will have achieved nothing by doing so because I feel nothing towards someone who spends all his time trying to make someone else do something exactly the way he wants it to. Don't give him the satisfaction of knowing that you're bothered. This only encourages him to continue bothering him. If you can make him believe that you're not bothered at the least bit, then he may leave you alone. Although I highly doubt that was the only reason he stopped bugging me.
"-Must stubbornly and rigidly have his way with things. Will do anything to get it."
And this is probably one of the biggest reasons why Words is winning the award for most underhanded. It would be nice to have goals and such achieved, but to achieve them by doing things that adversely affect others is disrespectful and largely unappreciated. He will do anything at all to get what he wants. Lie, cheat or stalk. This could only occur if you do not care what others think. The most common way in which Words achieves this is by playing off of other people's emotions, and by threatening people to do certain things in order to take advantage of their emotions. It is for this reason that I'm entirely immune to most of Words' threats and attacks. There are not many emotions I have for him to play with. I simply do not give him that satisfaction because all he could find was logic and math. Unfortunately for him, logic is as stubborn as he is, if not worse because he can't make 1+1 be anything else but 2, and this was another large reason why he stopped bothering me. I do not know how other people might be able to deal with this because we all have emotions, one way or another. However, the less he knows about your emotions, the harder it is for him to use them. This is probably also why he consistently asks his "friends" personal information about themselves, so that he might have information to use against you if you don't do something he likes. The less he knows about you, the harder it will be for him to use information against you.
"-Belief in absolute morality; that one is a moral center knowing right from wrong. Believes/expects the same of others."
I used to think that the only people who had this problem would be religious biggots. Apparently, that wasn't entirely correct. People with OCPD have that problem too. I'm well aware that Words disagrees with me on certain things, but being that I'm a debater, I can hold off my end fairly well. Since I prefer to use logic in my arguments, he probably doesn't find it enjoyable or worthwhile to make me believe otherwise. He consistently has problems with believing others when they say things, and assumes to know whether or not you're lying or telling the truth, even if you try to explain it to him. The only thing I have to say to that is, "If you already knew what I intended to say or do, then there was no need to talk to me about it. Since you already know the 'truth', you may as well talk to a wall." If he isn't believing what you're saying, don't be bothered by it. There's not really much of a point in trying to convince him otherwise, and you won't have much to gain from it. If it's about an account on his forums, it's probably not worth it, seeing that his forums has turned into a "Corrine loves Words of Ivory" forum.
"-Believes everyone else has to do things his way."
This is a consistent problem with my friends who have had the misfortune of working with him. If he doesn't get what he wants, he'll use the tactics described above, until you give in because you want him to shut up, or he eventually gives up once he realizes he's talking to a robot. Your best bet would simply be not to work with him at all and give him the satisfaction of boosting his ego. If he doesn't stop bothering you about such things, I only have to conclude that he is infringing on the rights to people's choice of freedom. But what can he do? Make you sit at the keyboard and type?
Friendships and People
Words treats people as if they were objects. He treats them like pawns in a game to use to his own advantage. In the end, people do not mean anything to him. They have no value to him except what they do for him. He does not, in return, care to do anything for them. He only does things once or twice to convince them of being friends with him, and once they believe they are "friends" with him, he will start to mistreat them. Because of this concept, Words, in actuality, has no concept of friendship, and as a result, he has no friends. He may make claims about people being his friends, but once they have stopped being useful to him, he discards them and will not concede to the fact that they were once friends before. This also conveniently suits his purposes, if he thinks he needs to get out of a binge. As such, he has treated more intimate relationships in much the same way; discarding girlfriends as if they were never "girlfriends" and felt nothing towards it. Thus he was never in love.
I don't particularly bear any hatred towards Words because of what he has done to me. I am inclined to dislike him only because of the way he treats my friends. Some of my friends feel sorry for him because of the pathetic state he is in, and others simply hate him and wish he would leave them alone. I myself find him amusing because of his reasoning (or lack thereof). To me, it is like watching a dog chase its tail; I don't have to tie his tail around his leg to make it harder because it's already amusing enough.
So in general? The only antidote to dealing with people with OCPD is a full dose of logic. Use it over and over again for a multiplied effect until he gets the point or gives up.
NB: I have realized that Words should have been added to my list of "kids" who think they're god in my journal entry below. He fits in quite well with the rest of them.
EDIT (Mostly directed at you know who): Post any lewd pics, and I'll delete them all and harass you on Gmail or something.
-The refusal to admit being wrong. This is tied in with perfection.
-Must stubbornly and rigidly have his way with things. Will do anything to get it.
-Belief in absolute morality; that one is a moral center knowing right from wrong. Believes/expects the same of others.
-Believes everyone else has to do things his way.
-Has a terribly black and white view of the world.
-Nothing is considered "trivial".
-Does not willingly acknowledge that he has OCPD. (usually)
I have observed these things in a particular individual that used to be close to a few of my friends. I once considered him a friend before as well. Being with people who have OCPD has caused lots of trouble and discomfort for my friends that once considered being friends with him, and while it has affected them quite significantly, I'm not quite bothered by him. The things he has done to my friends is disgusting and unacceptable; and I concede to that. I don't doubt he could have done the same to me, yet it has never happened for the mere and simple reason that I'm a "robot".
It's probably no longer necessary to keep the identity of the one who has OCPD that lead me to these experiences hidden, as it should already be painstakingly obvious. But I'll give you a hint: Among all the Final Fantasy forums and communities, especially Advent Children.net, FFOmega, FFSpirit, and FFExtreme, he is one of the most hated members of all. To an even greater effect, he is also being voted consistently for the ACF awards for positions like "most underhanded" and "worst comeback". The one whom most members hate most of all on almost any Final Fantasy forum is none other than Words of Ivory.
But how have I been able to avoid being pestered by him? I do not fit within the equation of Words' plans, nor has he really been able to manipulate me. Let's take a closer look at how he failed.
"The refusal to admit being wrong. This is tied in with perfection."
I'm not particularly bothered by people who refuse to admit being wrong. It does not hurt me to see people ignore things they don't consider wrong and would miss out on learning something if they could concede to their mistake. If anything, they'd only be damaging themselves, something for which they do not realize is happening to them. What this does tell me though is that anything I tell Words falls on deaf ears, thus when I tell him something, I either do not expect him to believe me, nor do I expect anything I say to change what he thinks. If it bothers him that I'm not a perfectionist, striving to be more perfect with the things I do, I am not bothered if he thinks he can pester me about it. He will have achieved nothing by doing so because I feel nothing towards someone who spends all his time trying to make someone else do something exactly the way he wants it to. Don't give him the satisfaction of knowing that you're bothered. This only encourages him to continue bothering him. If you can make him believe that you're not bothered at the least bit, then he may leave you alone. Although I highly doubt that was the only reason he stopped bugging me.
"-Must stubbornly and rigidly have his way with things. Will do anything to get it."
And this is probably one of the biggest reasons why Words is winning the award for most underhanded. It would be nice to have goals and such achieved, but to achieve them by doing things that adversely affect others is disrespectful and largely unappreciated. He will do anything at all to get what he wants. Lie, cheat or stalk. This could only occur if you do not care what others think. The most common way in which Words achieves this is by playing off of other people's emotions, and by threatening people to do certain things in order to take advantage of their emotions. It is for this reason that I'm entirely immune to most of Words' threats and attacks. There are not many emotions I have for him to play with. I simply do not give him that satisfaction because all he could find was logic and math. Unfortunately for him, logic is as stubborn as he is, if not worse because he can't make 1+1 be anything else but 2, and this was another large reason why he stopped bothering me. I do not know how other people might be able to deal with this because we all have emotions, one way or another. However, the less he knows about your emotions, the harder it is for him to use them. This is probably also why he consistently asks his "friends" personal information about themselves, so that he might have information to use against you if you don't do something he likes. The less he knows about you, the harder it will be for him to use information against you.
"-Belief in absolute morality; that one is a moral center knowing right from wrong. Believes/expects the same of others."
I used to think that the only people who had this problem would be religious biggots. Apparently, that wasn't entirely correct. People with OCPD have that problem too. I'm well aware that Words disagrees with me on certain things, but being that I'm a debater, I can hold off my end fairly well. Since I prefer to use logic in my arguments, he probably doesn't find it enjoyable or worthwhile to make me believe otherwise. He consistently has problems with believing others when they say things, and assumes to know whether or not you're lying or telling the truth, even if you try to explain it to him. The only thing I have to say to that is, "If you already knew what I intended to say or do, then there was no need to talk to me about it. Since you already know the 'truth', you may as well talk to a wall." If he isn't believing what you're saying, don't be bothered by it. There's not really much of a point in trying to convince him otherwise, and you won't have much to gain from it. If it's about an account on his forums, it's probably not worth it, seeing that his forums has turned into a "Corrine loves Words of Ivory" forum.
"-Believes everyone else has to do things his way."
This is a consistent problem with my friends who have had the misfortune of working with him. If he doesn't get what he wants, he'll use the tactics described above, until you give in because you want him to shut up, or he eventually gives up once he realizes he's talking to a robot. Your best bet would simply be not to work with him at all and give him the satisfaction of boosting his ego. If he doesn't stop bothering you about such things, I only have to conclude that he is infringing on the rights to people's choice of freedom. But what can he do? Make you sit at the keyboard and type?
Friendships and People
Words treats people as if they were objects. He treats them like pawns in a game to use to his own advantage. In the end, people do not mean anything to him. They have no value to him except what they do for him. He does not, in return, care to do anything for them. He only does things once or twice to convince them of being friends with him, and once they believe they are "friends" with him, he will start to mistreat them. Because of this concept, Words, in actuality, has no concept of friendship, and as a result, he has no friends. He may make claims about people being his friends, but once they have stopped being useful to him, he discards them and will not concede to the fact that they were once friends before. This also conveniently suits his purposes, if he thinks he needs to get out of a binge. As such, he has treated more intimate relationships in much the same way; discarding girlfriends as if they were never "girlfriends" and felt nothing towards it. Thus he was never in love.
I don't particularly bear any hatred towards Words because of what he has done to me. I am inclined to dislike him only because of the way he treats my friends. Some of my friends feel sorry for him because of the pathetic state he is in, and others simply hate him and wish he would leave them alone. I myself find him amusing because of his reasoning (or lack thereof). To me, it is like watching a dog chase its tail; I don't have to tie his tail around his leg to make it harder because it's already amusing enough.
So in general? The only antidote to dealing with people with OCPD is a full dose of logic. Use it over and over again for a multiplied effect until he gets the point or gives up.
NB: I have realized that Words should have been added to my list of "kids" who think they're god in my journal entry below. He fits in quite well with the rest of them.
EDIT (Mostly directed at you know who): Post any lewd pics, and I'll delete them all and harass you on Gmail or something.