My thoughts on SPN ep 4.14 Sex & Voilence *spoiler warning*
Okay....I'm going to cheat...this was actually an email I sent a mate tonight, discussing the ep. But it perfectly sums up my thoughts on the ep....right or wrong. LOL I'll happily sit on my own side of the fence against the majority with my feelings. As both a Dean girl and a Sammy girl....you can't ask me to choose anymore. I used to lean towards Dean, but now? Now I could never choose. Those boys are one "entity" to me...it's that simple. I love them both, want to slap them both and hurt for them both equally at times.
Anyway....this was my email and therefore, my thoughts on the latest ep. Popular or not...screw it.
I'd read the sides for this ep...so I knew that the siren was going to be a guy for Dean...and I knew Sam got it on with Cara. Am I the only one that liked her?? Or maybe it's just that I liked the swagger I saw in Sam around her? It was nice seeing him comfortable with a woman, even a little predatory.....makes me think of how I write Sam with Elise when he's in the mood. LOL
I'm finding myself defending Sam more and more this season. I know he's making mistakes and doing things the wrong way. I know he shouldn't lie to Dean the way he is....but I can't be as mad with him as so many other fans are. I just can't. I see where he is coming from. I understand his desperate need for normal, even though he can't even be normal. I understand how it hurts to be the freak....
And at that same time, my heart breaks for Dean, knowing what he has been through and watching his brother changing before him. But tonight? Watching Sam with Cara? All I saw was Dean....he really is becoming his brother. Maybe that scares Dean? Seeing himself so clearly in Sam now? Maybe he's just mourning the loss of Sammy. But after all Sam has been through, he was always destined to change....and it's not "the demon blood" making him that way. Not alone anyway. How the hell could anyone lose what Sam has, survive as he had to....and not change??
All I've heard all day is people tearing into Sam for what he said to Dean. And yeah, it was brutal. It always was going to be. Sam is like a cornered dog sometimes and when that unleashes, he doesn't care who he bites. But who hasn't drawn blood in a fight? Sheesh, I've said things to my own children in anger that I wish to god I could take back....and don't think that doesn't get thrown back in my face long afterwards. So I can't get angry with Sam there. Dean either. They are both scared and hurting and lashing out at each other...with that poison pushing down the safeguards? It was always going to be brutal.
But the one thing that hit me hardest to be honest? Was Dean's comment to Sam before he was under Nick's influence. It was just Dean on the phone. Now okay...Ruby is not a wise move and Cara was a quick screw, plain and simple....to me it was "Dean" moment, he wanted some release and she was more than willing to offer.
But for Dean to throw Madison in Sam's face? Telling him he keeps screwing monsters??? Dean was pushing Sam to be with Madison for crying out loud....he walked out, fist in the air at all. And now he throws that back at Sam to show him how twisted he's becoming??? Low blow, Dean....no wonder Sam was ready to lash out when he had the chance. What a way to reaffirm to the boy that you see him as a freak?
The ending hurt. I really want these boys to get through this. I wish Cas or Bobby could just shake the pair of them and make them see how they are hurting each other. But I also know this is all part of the hero's journey and I get the feeling it's a case of it always being darkest before the dawn. I'm clinging to the hope that the boys love for each other will come through in the end.
And Bobby....omg how gorgeous is that man?? The phones, the apron...the attitude. I just wanted to hug him and marry him and dammit...he's da man!! LOL I adore the way he was with the boys at the end. They need that man, they need to listen to that man more.
But anyway....there's my thoughts for now. LOL It's 3.30 in the morning...and I really need to try and sleep. TRY being the operative word...cause I'm still churning that ep through my mind and wanting to hug those boys so much. LOL
So yeah...there ya go. Agree, disagree? Couldn't give a crap? Feel free to tell me what you think....