I'm just wondering...
I did some looking back recently...sort of a "comparin' then and now" type thing...and there's somethin' that's buggin' me...
I remember a time when a friend of mine dropped to her knees in tears just because there was a possibility i had to move away...she was crying in my ear saying "you can't leave me, you can't leave".
Star has told me (then and now) that no matter what happens, nobody will ever take my place in her heart...she loves me, always will, and no matter what nobody will ever mean more to her than me...even if she runs off and got married tomorrow, she would still love me more than anybody...
Stacey tells me time and time again that i'm (next to her family) the most important person in her life, and seems willing to alter plans for her future simply because one course she is thinking of taking might upset me...something i'll never fully admit...i can't be everybody for her, and i know that...
There was an old friend of mine named Nikki...a girl i knew when i was going to Golden strip...in fact, i talked about her in my first entry if i remember correctly...i met her about the time the "Neon V" floatin' over her head had been turned off...and she was head over heals over th'guy that turned it out....when i was livin' with Jay-Jay, we hung out a bit one night...she told me that night that, had i tried, she would have left her beau for me in a heartbeat...but i never acted on it cuz i was datin' Nimue at th'time...
Even Darla seems to have some profound (and i say undeserved) attraction to me...goin' so far as to (in her LJ) claim that i'm could be her "soulmate"...and how i seem to be so important to her (yet strangely we can't seem to hold a 15 minute conversation)....
E as well....she won't admit it i'm sure, and she probably won't even see this entry...or maybe she will, she only seems to pop up and have anything to say to me when she wants to remind me of how much i hurt her once upon a time..but even that feeds my question...it was years ago...why was what i did so significant? Enough to where, apparently, it still hurts...
My question is simply this...what is it about me that was so important? Why did i seem to be so much different in everybody's eyes....why did you guys see me as so much of a person? Star talked to me about that last night...she said it was because i was "like no other guy she'd ever met...", but she couldn't tell me what it was that made me so different....
Why was it that i was so significant to so many people......and why do i seem to be so insignificant now....?
-Just a lil' trip inside my head...hope you enjoyed the ride...
I remember a time when a friend of mine dropped to her knees in tears just because there was a possibility i had to move away...she was crying in my ear saying "you can't leave me, you can't leave".
Star has told me (then and now) that no matter what happens, nobody will ever take my place in her heart...she loves me, always will, and no matter what nobody will ever mean more to her than me...even if she runs off and got married tomorrow, she would still love me more than anybody...
Stacey tells me time and time again that i'm (next to her family) the most important person in her life, and seems willing to alter plans for her future simply because one course she is thinking of taking might upset me...something i'll never fully admit...i can't be everybody for her, and i know that...
There was an old friend of mine named Nikki...a girl i knew when i was going to Golden strip...in fact, i talked about her in my first entry if i remember correctly...i met her about the time the "Neon V" floatin' over her head had been turned off...and she was head over heals over th'guy that turned it out....when i was livin' with Jay-Jay, we hung out a bit one night...she told me that night that, had i tried, she would have left her beau for me in a heartbeat...but i never acted on it cuz i was datin' Nimue at th'time...
Even Darla seems to have some profound (and i say undeserved) attraction to me...goin' so far as to (in her LJ) claim that i'm could be her "soulmate"...and how i seem to be so important to her (yet strangely we can't seem to hold a 15 minute conversation)....
E as well....she won't admit it i'm sure, and she probably won't even see this entry...or maybe she will, she only seems to pop up and have anything to say to me when she wants to remind me of how much i hurt her once upon a time..but even that feeds my question...it was years ago...why was what i did so significant? Enough to where, apparently, it still hurts...
My question is simply this...what is it about me that was so important? Why did i seem to be so much different in everybody's eyes....why did you guys see me as so much of a person? Star talked to me about that last night...she said it was because i was "like no other guy she'd ever met...", but she couldn't tell me what it was that made me so different....
Why was it that i was so significant to so many people......and why do i seem to be so insignificant now....?
-Just a lil' trip inside my head...hope you enjoyed the ride...