" I keep a sock in my pants." Various HOUSE quotes..
All quotes by Dr. Gregory House, unless otherwise noted.
I hurt my leg. I have a note.
Sorry, up late. Internet porn.
Excuse me, I have to go make pee-pee.
Chris Dewey: [trying to tell an uninterested House a patients history] You're reading a comic book.
Dr. Gregory House: And you're drawing attention to your bosom by wearing a low-cut top.
[she covers her chest with her clipboard]
Dr. Gregory House: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were having a "state-the-obvious" contest. I'm competitive by nature.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: People talk.
Dr. Gregory House: About how big your ass is getting? I've been defending you- you got back!
[to Cameron at Christmas]
Dr. Gregory House: Candy canes? Are you trying to mock me?
You always trust me. Big mistake.
Oh it's story time! Let me get my baba.
Like I always say, there's no "I" in team, there is a "me", though, if you jumble it up.
Look I have a cane, and I know how to use it.
Medical screwing. It's what I do.
So, there I was in the clinic, drunk. I open the drawer, close my eyes, take the first syringe I can find..
Okay you two. Grab some scalpels and settle this like doctors.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: If you had a problem working with Stacy, you should have said so.
House: What was I supposed to do? Ask her to leave? That's just rude. Death row guy. I want the case.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: How do you even know about him. You don't have access to the hospital's mainframe.
House: No, but "partypants" does.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You stole my password?
House: Hardly counts as stealing; It's a pretty obvious choice.
House: So, how are we doing on cotton swabs today? If there is an acute shortage, I could run home -
Cuddy: (looks at his leg) No, you couldn't.
House: Nice. (He walks over to the waiting room full of patients) Hello sick people and their loved ones! (Cuddy looks at him incredulously)
House: In the interest of saving time and avoiding a lot of boring chit-chat later, I'm Doctor Gregory House. You can call me Greg. I am one of three doctors staffing this clinic today.
Cuddy: Short, sweet. Grab a file.
House: This ray of sunshine is Doctor Lisa Cuddy. Doctor Cuddy runs the whole hospital, unfortunately, she is much too busy to deal with you. I am a board (looks at Cuddy) certified diagnostician with a double specialty in infectious disease and nephrology.I am also the only doctor employed at this clinic against his will That is true, isn't it? (Cuddy just looks at him) But, not to worry. Because for most of you, this job could be done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin. Speaking of which, if you are particularly annoying, you may see me reach for this. (Holds up his pill bottle) This is Vicodin. It's mine. No you can't have any. And no, I don't have a pain management problem, I have a pain problem. But, who knows? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too stoned to tell. So, who wants me? (None of the clinic patients seem too eager) And who would rather wait for one of the other doctors? ( Everyone raises their hands) Okay, well, I'll be in Exam Room 1 if you change your mind.
House: (To Cuddy) Let me ask you something; If this were another doctor, if the patient were complaining about, let's say, I don't know, Foreman, you'd just dismiss this as the paranoid bitching of another bitch
and file it under "P" for...
Dr. James Wilson: Paranoid?
House:(Turns around) Am not!
[Don't worry. I promise to post more quotes soon. Also, haven't forgot about Bones quotage.]
Oh, almost forgot, with the working nights and all...
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
-Angel-
I hurt my leg. I have a note.
Sorry, up late. Internet porn.
Excuse me, I have to go make pee-pee.
Chris Dewey: [trying to tell an uninterested House a patients history] You're reading a comic book.
Dr. Gregory House: And you're drawing attention to your bosom by wearing a low-cut top.
[she covers her chest with her clipboard]
Dr. Gregory House: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were having a "state-the-obvious" contest. I'm competitive by nature.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: People talk.
Dr. Gregory House: About how big your ass is getting? I've been defending you- you got back!
[to Cameron at Christmas]
Dr. Gregory House: Candy canes? Are you trying to mock me?
You always trust me. Big mistake.
Oh it's story time! Let me get my baba.
Like I always say, there's no "I" in team, there is a "me", though, if you jumble it up.
Look I have a cane, and I know how to use it.
Medical screwing. It's what I do.
So, there I was in the clinic, drunk. I open the drawer, close my eyes, take the first syringe I can find..
Okay you two. Grab some scalpels and settle this like doctors.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: If you had a problem working with Stacy, you should have said so.
House: What was I supposed to do? Ask her to leave? That's just rude. Death row guy. I want the case.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: How do you even know about him. You don't have access to the hospital's mainframe.
House: No, but "partypants" does.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You stole my password?
House: Hardly counts as stealing; It's a pretty obvious choice.
House: So, how are we doing on cotton swabs today? If there is an acute shortage, I could run home -
Cuddy: (looks at his leg) No, you couldn't.
House: Nice. (He walks over to the waiting room full of patients) Hello sick people and their loved ones! (Cuddy looks at him incredulously)
House: In the interest of saving time and avoiding a lot of boring chit-chat later, I'm Doctor Gregory House. You can call me Greg. I am one of three doctors staffing this clinic today.
Cuddy: Short, sweet. Grab a file.
House: This ray of sunshine is Doctor Lisa Cuddy. Doctor Cuddy runs the whole hospital, unfortunately, she is much too busy to deal with you. I am a board (looks at Cuddy) certified diagnostician with a double specialty in infectious disease and nephrology.I am also the only doctor employed at this clinic against his will That is true, isn't it? (Cuddy just looks at him) But, not to worry. Because for most of you, this job could be done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin. Speaking of which, if you are particularly annoying, you may see me reach for this. (Holds up his pill bottle) This is Vicodin. It's mine. No you can't have any. And no, I don't have a pain management problem, I have a pain problem. But, who knows? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too stoned to tell. So, who wants me? (None of the clinic patients seem too eager) And who would rather wait for one of the other doctors? ( Everyone raises their hands) Okay, well, I'll be in Exam Room 1 if you change your mind.
House: (To Cuddy) Let me ask you something; If this were another doctor, if the patient were complaining about, let's say, I don't know, Foreman, you'd just dismiss this as the paranoid bitching of another bitch
and file it under "P" for...
Dr. James Wilson: Paranoid?
House:(Turns around) Am not!
[Don't worry. I promise to post more quotes soon. Also, haven't forgot about Bones quotage.]
Oh, almost forgot, with the working nights and all...
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
-Angel-