too much to say about little things
some topics i can't relate much on but that doesn't mean i don't have any good insight on the situation. i'll always have my opinions and expressions but rarely give them, even if you care allot to know if you don't ask me for my thoughts the right way you may never hear them. it's problematic for me too.. awkward conversations but I'm doing my best..
some things are nice to know but still it doesn't make them good if they really don't care or theirs no emotion put into it..
if someone dose something for shallow reasons nothing good ever comes out of it..
allot of bad stitching..
i was talking to a good friend about him not wanting a new girlfriend because he just didn't want to be hurt like that again. my response was that it's a cycle.. i think i really hate cycles.. it's the whole never-ending thing that gets to me.... all the guys i ever dated.. were my friends first.. most of them my really good friends.. last time it didn't work out well for me, the guy turned out to be an asshole.. and the guy before i loved so much i could bare the thought of if we broke up not being able to be friends.. they all end badly don't they?
seriously.. cycles really really suck..
no where to look for new friends.. where do the rejects hang out? i'll get up the courage to ask someone.. but i want to go far away from PV to find the more jaded type of people.. as far away from the boxed society Palos Verdes and the mainstream subculture supply Hot Topic.. do you want to come with me?
Did i tell you? I'm conducting an experiment *laughs*
it's a social experiment..
one sugesed that i should do it in PV..
basically i guess i'm trying to become more social..
i'll work my way off the hill
but i need to start someplace you know?
there isnt anyone really um.. real.. at all.. on the hill.. they dress that way but if you talk to them they don't know anything at all..
but hey i could use the confidence..
and i really need to work on how i produce conversation topics.. i'm still much to blunt saying things.. and it seems to be far far too easy to run out of things to say..
..but i'm really having fun with it
it's winter break now, I'm ecstatic.. cant you tell? i've really been needing the vacation.. so badly you would not believe.. schools getting me a little stressed as of late..
i was told that the sophomore year is the hardest.. really..? it's nice to know it'll get easier after this..
normally i don't care about my classes but i've been getting lectured more by my teachers and even a few of my friends so i really need to pull grades up.. hee hee hee.. this bitch teachers trying to send me to rancho..
i should fight it, everyone says i really don't want to go there..
i know
bitch said "there are more Unique individuals like me there" and that i might like it.. you could see strait through what she was getting at.. to think that woman was almost our mayor..
she i like the least because she tries to suggest she really cares but i hear her talking behind my back all the time..
she never asks me about any of the changes she makes to my classes or anything that would directly affect me.. she even went as far as to publicly seek out my own man.. thank god he's old and dumb as a brick huh?
i wont go to rancho.. i guess i can put a little effort into school work.. but my peers are all moronic and so are the majority of the teachers.. the work is to advanced for them and to simple for me.. i know all the answers for fucking sake! i don't even need to read the material i can get the answers off sentence structure, it's poorly written by the way..
i don't like any of the suggested reading material it seems to much like children's reading.. what do they call it? young-adult literature.. i hate all the writing style and the plot is simple and predicable..
i really hate pv... i have to get out of here.. out of this school..
pv sucks.. exactly.. you know..
you have to be a certain way to fit in.. it's like that everywhere tho.. and it, most likely, always will be.. little hope for this world improving on the matter..
accordingly, when you stop trying to be a certain way like all the rest to fit in you, in theory through personal experience, fit in more.
well.. everyone has their place. just finding it's the part's that the bitch..
most people i know will spend their entire life searching for this place and even if they find it probably wont be happy.. unless some of them truly give up and flow with the stream of popular society.. that would be fitting in.. that would be such a shame tho..
dont you think..?
i really dont care alot about what people think of me right now.. less now then ever perhaps.. i dont resent people as much for what they think of me.. is that why?
some things are nice to know but still it doesn't make them good if they really don't care or theirs no emotion put into it..
if someone dose something for shallow reasons nothing good ever comes out of it..
allot of bad stitching..
i was talking to a good friend about him not wanting a new girlfriend because he just didn't want to be hurt like that again. my response was that it's a cycle.. i think i really hate cycles.. it's the whole never-ending thing that gets to me.... all the guys i ever dated.. were my friends first.. most of them my really good friends.. last time it didn't work out well for me, the guy turned out to be an asshole.. and the guy before i loved so much i could bare the thought of if we broke up not being able to be friends.. they all end badly don't they?
seriously.. cycles really really suck..
no where to look for new friends.. where do the rejects hang out? i'll get up the courage to ask someone.. but i want to go far away from PV to find the more jaded type of people.. as far away from the boxed society Palos Verdes and the mainstream subculture supply Hot Topic.. do you want to come with me?
Did i tell you? I'm conducting an experiment *laughs*
it's a social experiment..
one sugesed that i should do it in PV..
basically i guess i'm trying to become more social..
i'll work my way off the hill
but i need to start someplace you know?
there isnt anyone really um.. real.. at all.. on the hill.. they dress that way but if you talk to them they don't know anything at all..
but hey i could use the confidence..
and i really need to work on how i produce conversation topics.. i'm still much to blunt saying things.. and it seems to be far far too easy to run out of things to say..
..but i'm really having fun with it
it's winter break now, I'm ecstatic.. cant you tell? i've really been needing the vacation.. so badly you would not believe.. schools getting me a little stressed as of late..
i was told that the sophomore year is the hardest.. really..? it's nice to know it'll get easier after this..
normally i don't care about my classes but i've been getting lectured more by my teachers and even a few of my friends so i really need to pull grades up.. hee hee hee.. this bitch teachers trying to send me to rancho..
i should fight it, everyone says i really don't want to go there..
i know
bitch said "there are more Unique individuals like me there" and that i might like it.. you could see strait through what she was getting at.. to think that woman was almost our mayor..
she i like the least because she tries to suggest she really cares but i hear her talking behind my back all the time..
she never asks me about any of the changes she makes to my classes or anything that would directly affect me.. she even went as far as to publicly seek out my own man.. thank god he's old and dumb as a brick huh?
i wont go to rancho.. i guess i can put a little effort into school work.. but my peers are all moronic and so are the majority of the teachers.. the work is to advanced for them and to simple for me.. i know all the answers for fucking sake! i don't even need to read the material i can get the answers off sentence structure, it's poorly written by the way..
i don't like any of the suggested reading material it seems to much like children's reading.. what do they call it? young-adult literature.. i hate all the writing style and the plot is simple and predicable..
i really hate pv... i have to get out of here.. out of this school..
pv sucks.. exactly.. you know..
you have to be a certain way to fit in.. it's like that everywhere tho.. and it, most likely, always will be.. little hope for this world improving on the matter..
accordingly, when you stop trying to be a certain way like all the rest to fit in you, in theory through personal experience, fit in more.
well.. everyone has their place. just finding it's the part's that the bitch..
most people i know will spend their entire life searching for this place and even if they find it probably wont be happy.. unless some of them truly give up and flow with the stream of popular society.. that would be fitting in.. that would be such a shame tho..
dont you think..?
i really dont care alot about what people think of me right now.. less now then ever perhaps.. i dont resent people as much for what they think of me.. is that why?