take another lil piece of my heart now baby!
just when i thought i had no more DRAMA in my life some words of mine get mixed with bad moods, tired people and whatever else is used to usually fuck my life over...I guess I`m a shit talker... its not news to me... i will openly share my opinion of people even around those people... then i am also a joker... i joke i joke...i kid i kid....!!! People dont know the difference and that sucks! People think that it I state the obvious like "sally has a booger" than thats shit talking and its not right and i should be stoned and killed on the spot!! But then other people/ friends of mine can flat out call someone a bitch or something deeper like "sally gets on my damn nerves and she cant even tie her shoe what a dumb ass!" SEE THE DIFFERENCE?! I do... maybe other dont?! Maybe it is just me?! Well I do take credit for what I do remember saying... if it was serious or remotly important i usually remember. People come up with some random shit that "I said" but i really dont think i said it or i definatly didnt mean it like it must have sounded...i know its on me... i know its my fault... i dont mean to hurt peoples feelings... i definatly didnt do it out of hate and i dont say anything that i probably wouldnt say to a persons face... why would i try to ruin good friendships? why would i hurt or talk TRUE SHIT about the people who are there for me and treat me good... its just something i`m still working on i guess... i need to not joke and think before i speak...i said it and i hope anyone who reads this can hold me accountable! I seriously need people to help me cuz if you dont TELL ME what the fuck is going on then sometimes I just dont get it!! I`m a little slow... I mean well really I do... I hope things work out better this time cuz I cant aford to have another blow up like junior year... I take more responcibility for that now lookin back too... everyone else is not innocent however cuz they arent honest with me in the get go like they say and i`m not the only shit talking-joker (which is why it shocked me when the blame is on me) i thought i was one of the nicer people cuz things arent peachy keen behind the scenes but thats ok... i will take the blame... i usually do... i`m learning my life lessons this way and i just hope things dont get worse before they get better... i`m by far allot more calm about this right now... i am seriously going to pray and do what i can to make things better... make things better for my friends now, my friends then and my friends to come... i just want to better myself for my own good and the good of others... it wont be easy and i`m asking for HELP so please HELP ME! every chance you can spare... but be kind cuz I`m breakable.... I do love you all!!