Runaways ~ NC17 ~ Liam/Spike (William) ~ AU Human ~ Chapter 9
Here it is folks. Sorry to have kept you all hanging for a week. Hope this chapter satisfies you and you aren't disappointed. We are well on our way with Chapter 10, and it's looking like it won't be the last. That is why I don't like determining before hand how many chapters a story is going to be. I feel it boxes me/us in. We just keep writing until we feel like the story has been told, and hopefully well.
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Title: Runaways
Authors: angelspike69 and anamcara420
Pairing: Liam/Spike (William)
Rating: Adult. This story contains M/M sex. If that isn’t your cup of tea then go away now and don’t read any farther.
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Angel and Spike don’t belong to us. If they did, they’d be following up all their fighting and snarking with each other with lots of manly shagging.
Spoilers: No spoilers at all as this is a story that takes place in an alternate universe where our boys are totally human and have never been vampires. We’re not even sure if they believe in them.
Feedback: AngelSpike69 and Anamcara420
Notes: Would like to extend our sincere thanks to makd (aka Mary) for her beta of our story. You are the best sweetie!!!!! Previous chapters can be found in my memories here or in our archive here.
Summary: Two damaged young men meet by chance in the woods in Vermont. Through conflict and kindness and the special magic of Christmas, they stop running from their pasts and help each other to heal.
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Chapter 9
Emotions raged through Liam’s heart and thoughts flashed through his mind as he stared down at Spike. He saw his luscious mouth curled in a half smile; his sparkling blue eyes tearfully hopeful. Although he fought it, he had longed for a loving relationship, but with Spike? He was surprised by that. He’s ten years younger than I…he’s…his life…does he know how to love, really love? Or does he just want…sex…security? He recalled Spike saying that he used sex to get what he wanted. What does he really want from me? He remembered Spike’s comments about the frigid winter weather on the island and his desire to go to Burlington. Dry Goods! There are no clothing stores, book stores, art stores…there is nothing for him on this island. How long would he stay? He’d go and I…I’d be alone…again.
Liam reached out and stroked Spike’s soft, white skin. He rubbed his thumb across Spike’s sharp cheekbone, finely etched on his slightly flushed face. God…he’s so beautiful…I…need…he said want, not love. I can’t…can he…love…is…is he…too…damaged? Then it hit him all at once. Sure he wanted what was best for Spike, but it went deeper than that. Somehow, in the last few months, Spike had found his way into Liam's heart, which had locked after David's death. God help me, but I …I could love him…maybe…I…can show him…how to love. He has been used so much…his horrific past. I don’t want him to think…to think that all I want…is to use him too.
Spike could read the doubt and fear in Liam’s deep brown eyes. But he also saw the longing. “Liam…”
“No, Spike. Listen. You’ve had a horrible time of it. You’ve been used and abused terribly. I won’t do that to you. Your past is in the past. You deserve a new life. Doing things you haven’t had a chance to do. You deserve that and so much more.”
“But…” Spike pleaded, desperately. Bloody hell! How can I make him understand? I don’t…I don’t understand what…what I’m feeling. Sure he felt lust for Liam, but he was feeling something deeper, too. Something he’d never felt before. Something that made him feel…vulnerable. And he knew only one way to show Liam. Swallowing hard, Spike continued, “I want you. Never wanted anyone before.” He reached for the waistband of Liam’s sweatpants and slid his hand down, searching.
Liam tried to move away, disconcerted by Spike’s actions. As he moved he felt Spike’s warm hand wrap around his already-hardened cock.
Spike smiled when he found it. “You want me, don’t you? I can feel that you want me. Why are you fighting it?”
“Spike, stop it!” Liam reached down and pulled Spike’s hand from his cock. “You don’t have to do this.”
“Do what?” Spike asked seductively. He moved closer to Liam, reaching out for him, trying to draw him down for a kiss.
“This…sex….”
“Not what it is, Liam.” Spike replied. He pouted. He had seen Liam’s reaction when he pouted and he was desperate to get him to stop thinking and just give in to his feelings.
Liam stepped back. “Well, then what is it? You’ve told me you’ve used sex to get what you want…to survive. You don’t have to do that with me. That’s not the way it works. I …I care about you! I’m not going…I’m not one of those men that used you, Spike.
“I know you’re not. Figured that out a while ago. But…You want me. I want you. Where’s the harm?” Spike moved a step closer and put his hand on Liam’s chest. “Make us both feel good.”
Liam clasped Spike’s hand and lowered it from his body. He stared at Spike and spoke softly, willing him to understand what he was trying to say. “Spike, being intimate with someone is so much more than just sex. It’s sharing with another person…a person you care for. It’s more than just sharing your body. It’s so much more. I don’t know…I don’t know if… you understand that…your past…you’re not used to trusting…”
Spike interrupted. “You could show me…please…please show me, Liam. I’m a mess inside. Have all these feelings, churning, eating at me. Am I so…so dirty…so hopeless that you can’t…” His voice broke and he lowered his head. When he looked up at Liam, tears shimmered at the corner of his eyes. “Don’t want you just for sex…but that’s…that’s all I know. Show me…please?”
Liam watched the tears slip from Spike’s eyes and his heart trembled with conflicting emotions. God help me…this is so wrong on so many levels. But his desire to show Spike the difference between having sex and making love and his own longing made him dare to go on. He sighed and put his finger against Spike’s lips. “Hush.” He said as he took his finger from Spike’s mouth and reached for his hand. Turning it over, he kissed the palm lightly and then pulled Spike close to him. He captured the smaller man’s mouth in a gentle kiss and rained feathery kisses on his eyes, his cheeks, his brow, his ear. Spike shivered and Liam felt him harden. The larger man drew back and smiled sweetly. “Slowly, Spike. We have all night.” Liam grasped his long, thin fingers and drew him over to the fireplace. Releasing Spike, he took the blanket from the sofa and knelt down to arrange it in front of the firelight. He looked up and Spike knelt in front of him. Liam took his hand again and kissed each fingertip. Spike closed his eyes and felt a tingling sensation that he never felt before race through his body.
Liam pushed the robe from his shoulders and began to pull the t-shirt up over Spike’s head. Spike groaned and reached for the taller man. Liam smiled. “No.” He leaned over and kissed the smaller man’s ear.
“Liam…”
Again the sweet smile as Liam gently pushed Spike to the floor. He leaned over him and kissed up his chest, sucking a nipple into his mouth. Spike moaned and arched. Liam ignored the movements beneath him and pressed his body across Spike’s. He grabbed the other nipple into his mouth as he placed his large hand over the tented material at Spike’s groin, never taking his lips from Spike’s slender chest.
Spike raised his hips as he felt Liam touch him. He felt like he’d been shocked with an electrical current. His body tingled and he could feel his blood roar through his veins. He felt every beat of his pounding heart. Spike placed his hand on Liam’s head and pushed down, but Liam resisted.
Releasing the pert nub from his mouth, he moved up Spike’s chest, placing tiny kisses along the almost translucent skin until he was looking down at Spike’s finely boned face. “Slowly Spike…we are going to take it slowly. I’m going to show you how beautiful it can be between two people. You don’t have to do anything. Just let me show you.” Liam brought his head down and captured Spike’s lips in a soft kiss. He teased Spike’s mouth with his tongue while he traced his fingers down the side of his face.
Spike whimpered as Liam’s tongue sought entrance. Not used to the tenderness - the deliberate gentleness of Liam’s touches - Spike became very unsure of himself. A bit frightened because he did not know what to do, he tried to take control by shifting; trying to roll over so that he was on top, but Liam wouldn’t let him. He broke off the kiss and stared up at the man above him.
As if he could sense Spike’s tumultuous emotions, Liam looked down and saw the fear clouding his blue eyes. “Spike?”
“I…I…” Spike stuttered.
“You want to stop? Just tell me if you do. We’ll only go as far as you want to go.”
Spike shook his head and mumbled something that Liam couldn’t understand. “What is it, Spike?”
“Don’t want to stop…it’s just that…”
“What is it?”
Spike blushed and looked away. Liam gently took Spike’s chin in his hand and turned his head so that he was looking up at him once more.
“Tell me, Spike. It’s just what?”
“Don’t know what to do. Not used to someone being…being gentle…caring that I…that I enjoy it. Nobody…bothered before.” He sighed and tried to smirk. “Can’t we just get to the shagging part…forget the rest. Don’t understand the reason for it anyway.”
Liam smiled down at him and brushed Spike’s tousled hair from his brow. He searched for the right words; words that wouldn’t hurt. “Spike, this isn’t just shagging as you put it. For me, it’s always much more than. You wanted me to show you…teach you. But if all you want is shagging, then I’m not the man you want.” He leaned in and lightly kissed Spike’s lips, hoping his touch would soften his words. “Let me show you another way.”
Liam caressed Spike’s cheek with his thumb as he waited for his response. He could see the confusion flicker in Spike’s eyes as he tried to process what he had just heard. They stared at each other until Spike finally nodded. He reached up to pull Liam down to him, taking his lips with a hesitant soft kiss of his own.
Liam let Spike take the lead for a bit to show him that sex wasn’t about control or domination. As he felt Spike relax and grow more confident, Liam trailed his hand down the smaller man’s lean body, stopping at the pointed nub of his nipple. He took it between his thumb and index finger, pinching it gently. Spike moaned as they continued to kiss, their tongues doing a slow dance of their own.
Liam grazed his hand over Spike’s heated skin until he reached the waistband on his sweats. Slipping his hand inside, Liam ran his fingers through the coarse, wiry curls and then wrapped his strong hand around Spike’s cock. Slowly he began to stroke the organ and felt it pulsate within his grip. Spike thrust his hips upward as he tried to match the movements of Liam’s hand. As Liam caressed the tip of the cock, he gathered up some of the pre-come and used it as a lubricant.
Spike moaned into Liam’s mouth as he tightly gripped the larger man’s dark brown hair in his fingers. He brought his other hand to the waistband of his sweats, trying to push the garment off.
Panting, Liam broke the kiss. He propped himself up with one hand, and looked at Spike, whose chest heaved in exertion. “Are you sure?”
Spike could only nod as he struggled to get his breathing under control. Suddenly afraid that Liam would change his mind, he grasped the waistband of his sweats and quickly pulled them down. He raised his hips and wriggled until he could kick them off. Liam had to hide a smile at Spike’s determination. He reached for Liam’s pants, trying to get them off, but the other man stopped him.
“No, not yet. This is about you…all about you.”
“But…” Spike tried to reply, but was cut off when a long finger pressed against his lips. He sucked the digit into his mouth and grinned when he heard a quiet moan escape from Liam. He twirled his tongue around the finger, licking it and drawing it deeper into his mouth. Liam shuddered and pulled his finger out. He dragged his hand over the smaller man’s thin body. Suddenly Spike hissed as Liam began to massage his balls.
Liam groaned silently. It’s so warm…so warm. He ran his finger along Spike’s perineum, pressing down gently and smiled when Spike moaned and jerked his hips. He slowly lowered his hand until his finger ghosted over Spike’s entrance. He could feel it quiver and clench under his touch. He circled the opening, but never pressed forward, teasing Spike mercilessly. Finally taking pity on the writhing body beneath him, Liam brought his other hand down and wrapped it around Spike’s engorged cock.
Spike whimpered as Liam continued his seductive torment of his body with his heated, tender touch. “Liam…please…can’t…take…much…more! Need…”
“Tell me Spike, what do you need?”
“Don’t know…Just know I need…Please…not used to…they never…”
Liam understood and decided to end Spike’s sweet torture. Suddenly he stopped. Realization dawned. He had nothing. He hadn’t made love with anyone since David died. And he certainly had no idea this would have happened between the two of them. He removed his hands and drew away from Spike’s body, sitting back on his heels.
Spike propped himself up on his elbows and looked at Liam, uncertain and frightened. “What’s the matter? Why’d you stop? Did I do something wrong?”
Liam looked at the confusion marring Spike’s lovely face. “No, it’s not you Spike. I just realized something.”
“What?” Spike responded, his soft voice tremulous. “Is it me? It’s me, I knew it. You can’t get past what I was?” Spike frantically tried to get up. He wanted to be anywhere, anywhere other than where he was at the moment. I knew it…I knew he…he can’t forget what I was.
Liam reached for Spike. He pressed his powerful hand against the smaller man’s trembling body. “No. You’re wrong Spike. It’s just that…” He felt his face flush and he stammered slightly. “I…I hadn’t planned on this happening. I just realized that I’m…I’m not prepared for this.” When he saw that Spike still didn’t understand what he was trying to say, he continued. “It’s just that I haven’t made love to anyone since David died.” He looked at Spike. He saw hurt and disappointment scarring his face as he tried to push Liam away.
He glared at the larger man and snarled. “David…should’ve known it.”
“Spike! No! It’s not because of David. It’s just that…I don’t have any lube or condoms.” He spoke quietly; a deep blush flooding his cheeks.
Relieved that it wasn’t him or devotion to the dead David that was stopping Liam, Spike chuckled as he reached for the robe that lay in a heap next to him. Liam watched as Spike dipped his hand into one of the pockets of the robe and pulled out a tube of slick and several packets of condoms. Grinning, he held out his hand to Liam, showing him his bounty.
“I weren’t never a boy scout, but I figured it couldn’t hurt to be prepared.”
Liam smiled at the boyish, yet definitely sensual smirk on Spike’s face. “So, you were sure of yourself were you?”
“No, but I hoped.” Spike replied, his eyes bright with excitement.
When Liam didn’t say anything, Spike bit his lip worriedly, his body tense, afraid that somehow he had messed everything up.
Liam noticed how Spike’s body stiffened with tension. He’s so insecure. He can’t believe that someone wants him, not just his body. His eyes twinkled as he took the lube and condoms from Spike’s hand and laid them on the floor. He crawled closer to Spike and took his mouth swiftly in a bruising kiss.
As they kissed, Spike reached down and once again tried to push Liam’s sweats down off his hips. When Liam didn’t try to stop him this time, he became emboldened. He yanked harder and when Liam’s cock popped free of the garment, Spike wrapped his hand around the large, swollen shaft and stroked, gently at first and then more forcefully. Liam moaned deeply and he pressed his lips passionately against Spike’s. As he continued to stroke and kiss Liam, Spike slowly got to his knees. He tried to push Liam onto his back and the larger man didn’t fight him. When he had Liam on the floor, he laid his smaller body over him, pressing his pelvis down against Liam’s.
Spike finally broke the kiss. Sliding slowly down Liam’s body, he paused over his cock. Looking up at Liam, he started to go down, but Liam stopped him.
“No, Spike…this is about you tonight. Remember.”
“But…you make me feel so good. Make me feel things…I’ve… I’ve never felt before. Just want you to feel the same thing.”
“Oh believe me, Spike, I do. Just touching you and watching you respond is all I need.”
“Well, bloody hell…that doesn’t make much sense.”
“I know it doesn’t, Spike. But it will.” Liam sat up and pushed Spike to the floor, dropping a few kisses onto his mouth. He nipped and kissed Spike’s chest as he moved down his body.
Grasping Spike’s hard cock once again, he took it into his mouth. He swept his tongue across the tip, lapping up the fluid that was pooling at the top. He swallowed as he slowly went down on Spike, licking the shaft and wrapping his tongue around the hard organ. He could feel it swell within the confines of his mouth. When he went as far as he could go, he began to bob his head, up and down, sucking deeply and occasionally scraping blunt teeth on one side of the organ.
Spike hissed at the overwhelming sensations. His body shivered with desire. He didn’t know what to do. No one had ever done this to him before. Sure he’d done it plenty of times, but it was quick and emotionless. The johns had never been interested in pleasing him; they just wanted to get off. None of them even thought about him or whether he was enjoying it or not. He was in new territory. He thought he just wanted Liam to fuck him, but he was enjoying what the larger man was doing to him right now, he didn’t want him to stop. He fisted the blanket underneath him as Liam continued to suck on his cock. He felt his balls tighten up and knew he was going to come.
“Liam…please…gonna…gonna…” But before he could get it out, he exploded into Liam’s mouth. He panted as he brought his hand up to wipe the sweat that was threatening to run into his eyes. Embarrassed by his lack of control, he covered his eyes and sobbed.
Liam swallowed and wiped his mouth. Worried, he lay next to Spike, and tried to remove his small hand from his eyes. “Spike…what’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry, Liam…really I am.” He sobbed.
“Sorry? What do you have to be sorry about?”
“I…I…” Spike hiccupped as he tried to explain, his blue eyes blurred with tears, his skin pearled with sweat. “Didn’t mean to do that….didn’t mean to come in your mouth.”
Liam dropped a kiss to Spike’s lips, a smile of understanding flickering in his eyes. He pushed back the damp hair curling around Spike’s face. “It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong. I wanted you to come.”
“Why?”
“So that when we continue, you'll be more relaxed.
“You weren’t turned-off?” Spike was really confused. His johns never went down on him and some would turn mean if he inadvertently came too soon…would hit him and then just fuck him dry.
“No, Spike, I wasn’t. I loved your loss of control.” Taking Spike’s hand, Liam placed it over his hard cock. “See? It showed me that you weren’t just thinking of me as one of your tricks. That you were enjoying it.” Liam realized that Spike tensed when he said tricks and he bent down and kissed the tip of his nose.
Embarrassed at first to be reminded of his past, Spike was also surprised and relieved that he hadn’t ruined it. He gasped when Liam covered his hand with his larger one, moving them so that that they were both stroking Liam’s cock. Spike felt it thicken even more within his grasp. All of a sudden shy, he sneaked a peak at the large man next to him. Liam had his head thrown back and his eyes tightly closed. He looked like he was enjoying it; a tiny smile twitched at the corner of his full lips.
Liam opened his eyes, smiled and quirked his eyebrow. Spike nodded and returned the smile. Liam’s hands were shaking and he struggled to get the condom out of the foil and onto his shaft. When that was done, he picked up the tube of slick and looked over at Spike. His mouth opened in shock. Spike was on all fours, waiting…his small body shuddering almost violently. Liam didn’t know if he was trembling in fear or in anticipation.
He put the tube down, and reached out for Spike. He felt the body jolt as he made contact. “Spike? What are you doing?”
He looked puzzled as he turned his head around. “Doing? I’m…getting ready.” He tried to keep the trepidation out of his voice.
“Not like this!” Liam placed a gentle hand on Spike’s back and helped him to turn around so that the he was facing him. He bent down to touch his lips to Spike’s cheek. “I want to watch you, and I want you to watch me.”
Spike swallowed hard. Someone would think I’m a bloody virgin I’m so nervous!
Liam ran his fingers along Spike’s jaw when he saw the nervousness play across his flushed face. It touched him deeply. He gently pushed Spike back down on the blanket and kissed him, trying to get him to relax. “Relax Spike. Let me show you…how to make love - slowly.”
He took the tube of slick and flipped the lid, squeezed the fluid out into his hand and fingers, and coated his covered shaft. He reached for Spike’s cock and began to stroke, sensuously and rhythmically, feeling it come back to life in his hand. Liam then trailed his fingers down across Spike’s balls until he reached his pucker. It quivered beneath his touch. He circled it with his finger, before inserting it slowly, inch by inch until it was fully embedded in the tight passage. He moved it around, stretching him and making sure to occasionally scrape his nail gently across the spongy mass buried deep within Spike’s channel. When he hit it the first time, Spiked arched and groaned. Liam slowly pulled out his finger and inserted a second and then a third. He moved them gently and watched the pleasure flood Spike’s flushed face as he writhed and moaned.
His own cock cried out for release and Liam removed his fingers from Spike. He positioned himself between Spike’s legs and lifted them up, placing them over his shoulders. He lined his cock up with Spike’s entrance and pressed forward slowly until he was fully seated within him. Electricity bolted throughout his body and the desire to move almost overwhelmed him. But he knew this wasn’t about him, this was about Spike. He wanted Spike to know what it meant to make love - tender, passionate, love.
When he felt that he had himself under control, Liam moved unhurriedly within Spike’s channel. He watched his beautiful face as confusion and uncertainty melted away and passion took over. Spike began to move with Liam, begging and pleading with him to go faster. Liam ignored him and continued to love Spike slowly. He wanted to draw this experience out…to make it last, but it had been so long for him and watching Spike respond to him was too much.
Tenuously holding onto his control, Liam stilled. He stayed seated within the smaller body beneath him, but drew Spike's legs off his shoulders and wrapped them around his waist. He leaned down and took Spike’s stiffened cock back into his hand and stroked it.
“Spike, open your eyes….look at me.” He smiled when the blue eyes burning with desire looked up at him. He kept his eyes on Spike as he continued to move within him. His hands on Spike’s cock matched the rhythm of his thrusts.
Spike continued to stare at Liam, lost in the sea of emotions screaming through his body. Spike grabbed hold of Liam’s broad shoulders as he wrapped his legs tighter around the larger man’s waist. He could feel it all, Liam moving inside him, his own balls tightening as if a rubber band squeezed them. He never closed his eyes. He kept them glued to Liam’s face, amazed at the intensity of need blazing in his dark eyes. Suddenly his entire body shuddered and he came all over Liam’s hand.
As Spike erupted, Liam could feel the other man’s muscles clench around his cock forcefully. Liam’s impassioned body quivered and he came in a frenzied rush as he burrowed his face into Spike’s neck. He kept thrusting inside of Spike, one…two…three more times until he was totally spent…physically and emotionally. He lay on top of Spike, still buried inside him, trying to slow down his heart, trying to catch his breath. He honestly hadn’t thought it could be this way with anyone other than David.
Abruptly, Liam shook himself out of his musings when he felt the body beneath him trembling. He slowly eased himself out of Spike’s body. He removed the used condom and tossed it into the pail next to the fireplace. He looked down, worried when he saw that Spike was crying.
“Spike, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing…it’s just…” Spike couldn’t talk, he was too overcome with powerful emotions; he couldn’t stop the tears. His brain couldn’t comprehend what had just happened.
Moving to his side, Liam gathered Spike into his arms tenderly stroking up and down his back. Spike collapsed against him, his body still shaking. “It’s just what?”
Spike gulped and spoke, his voice shaking as he burrowed into Liam’s chest. “Didn’t know…it could be like that. Feel like that. Makes…makes what I did seem…bloody awful. How…how you can be so nice to me? How can you not be disgusted by me?”
Liam held the slender body closer and whispered. “Shh…it’s okay Spike. What you did in the past is of no consequence. You have to understand that. You did what you had to do. You survived the only way you knew how.” Liam continued his soft soothing words as he kissed Spike’s head and gently stroked the length of Spike’s spine. The shivering quieted after a short while and he glanced down at Spike’s face. He had fallen asleep; his dark eyelashes making shadows on his white cheeks.
Liam reached over to the couch and pulled the other blanket toward him, making sure they were both covered. He pulled Spike into the crook of his neck and tightened his arms around him. Liam dropped a kiss onto his temple and joined Spike in an exhausted sleep.
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Spike woke, at first puzzled by the powerful arms enfolding him. Then he remembered and smiled. Slowly he slipped from Liam’s grasp and lay on his side watching the larger man sleep. Spike gazed at his face and memorized the curve of his lips; his skin burnished gold in the firelight, the brown curls tumbled over his brow. His heart was bursting with a feeling he had never experienced before he came to North Hero and met Liam - pure joy. He was safe and warm and…loved? These emotions were so new…confusing…and…terrifying. This wasn’t his life…the tenderness, the concern. Liam had made love to him; had made sure he …was satisfied. A symphony of feelings and thoughts thrummed through his body and he was happy and…scared. Scared to make a mistake…to do something to make Liam…not want him.
Liam’s eyes fluttered open and he was momentarily disoriented. He felt good…happy. He turned his head and saw Spike smiling at him and he remembered. He rolled over and the two men stared at each other in silence for a few moments. Liam stretched and hissed.
“You okay?” Spike asked, his brow wrinkled in concern.
Liam winced and smiled. “Back’s stiff. Not used to sleeping on the floor.”
“Yeah. You’re used to feather beds and soft sheets, ponce.” Spike said with a smirk.
Liam growled and rolled closer, captured Spike in his arms and then smacked his ass with one hand.
“Ow…that hurt!”
Liam released him and drew back. He watched Spike pout and he felt stirring in his groin. Spike grinned wider and waggled his eyebrows. “Can’t resist me, Liam. Got power over you.”
Liam returned the grin, stretched his arms above his head and groaned. “I need to let the shower get the kinks out.” He glanced toward the grandfather clock. It was close to 10 o’clock. He sat up. Spike stayed where he was, his hand resting on Bella, who had sauntered over and flopped on the blanket by his side.
“I think I’ll get a bath. You go.” Spike said.
Liam laughed. “And you call me a ponce. I’m gonna have to buy more bubble bath. You used almost all of it.” He jumped up and somehow managed to keep himself covered with the blanket. Spike pulled a pillow from the sofa and tossed it at Liam. He tried to glare but he was laughing.
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After Liam showered, Spike took his turn. When he came out into the kitchen, Liam was cooking. The men sat down to eat breakfast.
“We’re supposed to be at Mrs. Jenkins’ around three, Spike. I have to start making the lasagna as soon as I finish.”
“Who else is gonna be there?”
“The doc, Tom Hanson, John and Amy, Ann and Jess.” Liam replied.
“The usual suspects, huh?” Spike grinned.
“Yeah. We seem to have formed a little family of sorts.” Liam answered quietly.
Spike didn’t answer. He finished eating and took his plate into the kitchen. “Need me to help with the…the lasagna?”
“Yeah. Can you get out the pasta pot?”
Spike laughed out loud. “Pasta pot. You are a right ponce, Liam. Having a pot just for pasta.” Liam opened his mouth to answer and Spike interrupted, smiling broadly. “I know. I know. You’re Italian, it’s required.”
He laughed at the look on Liam’s face and bent down to find the large pot. When he stood up, something soft hit his head. Liam had thrown a dish towel at him. Spike laughed again and tossed the towel back. “Ponce.” He said and turned to fill the pot with water.
Liam showed Spike the intricacies of lasagna making. He then showed him how to mince garlic and mix it with butter, sweet basil and oregano and spread it on loaves of Italian bread. When they were finished, they sat in front of the fire and watched some college football. Spike was becoming more knowledgeable about the game. He cared about it since he now knew that Liam had played the game, and that he was good enough to get a football scholarship to college.
“Hey, Liam. You got one of those football jerseys?”
A shadow flickered over the other man’s face. “Yeah. On a shelf in the closet.”
Spike had seen the shadow, but continued. “What was your number?”
“Seven. I was a quarterback.”
As they watched the game, Liam explained about the numbering system; lower numbers for quarterbacks and running backs; the higher numbers for lineman. Spike had played football, or what American’s call soccer in the schoolyard when he was kid in Liverpool, but had had no athletic training since he’d never gone to high school in California.
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Spike, Liam and Mac arrived at Mrs. Jenkins with a huge baking dish of lasagna and two loaves of garlic bread; the powerful aromas blending together in a mouthwatering concert.
There’s enough food for a football team. Spike thought to himself as he saw the table laden with various kinds of food. Each guest had brought something appropriate to his or her nationality. Amy had made onion soup with a recipe from John’s French grandmother and lebkuchen, her German grandmother’s recipe for spice bars. Mrs. Jenkins had made the English dish, Beef Wellington and a chocolate mousse cake especially for Spike. Doc Clayton had brought colcannon, a potato casserole from Ireland, and Tom Hanson - the sheriff - brought a squash casserole and cranberry bread in honor of his Abenaki Native American heritage. There were American vegetables - buttered carrots, green beans and candied sweet potatoes and baked stuffed haddock in honor of the long fishing tradition of New England.
They said grace and toasted the New Year with champagne. Liam and Spike glanced at each other as they lifted their glasses. They both blushed and had to shift in their seats as their groins stiffened. Liam smiled and Spike grinned back. Mrs. Jenkins beamed as she looked around the table. Her house was full of guests.
During the meal, Liam and the sheriff gave much of their attention to Ann, who glowed with happiness. Spike sat next to Jess and she talked about college. She had originally gone to Boston College, but had to leave to take care of her mother. This spring, she was going to take classes at the Community College of Vermont in St. Alban’s about forty-five minutes away. She would also be taking some online courses at the University of Vermont in Burlington. She told Spike about the many art classes offered at the community college and at the university and encouraged him to apply. Spike flushed and mumbled that he would look into it. He didn’t tell her that he had never been to high school.
Spike looked up to find Liam watching him, his eyebrow quirked in question. Spike just shook his head and looked away to talk to Mrs. Jenkins. Liam was concerned. Spike’s shoulders had been rigid and he looked uncomfortable and embarrassed. What could Jess have said to him?
Everyone helped clear the table. The men hung around a bit until Mrs. Jenkins pushed them out.
“I know you all want to watch football. We’ll make coffee and be in shortly. We still have all those deserts to sample.”
“I don’t think I can eat anything else.” Doc Clayton said.
“There’s always room for desert, doc.” Amy replied. She turned to Spike. “You won’t resist Mrs. Jenkins’ chocolate mousse cake will you?”
Spike and everyone else laughed. Spike’s devotion to all things chocolate was widely known. Liam joined in the laughter and felt warm inside. Spike has to feel like he belongs. He does. He belongs here.
Liam and Tom went outside to carry more wood from the barn to the back porch and Spike joined them to help and toss the ball for Mac. When they returned, Mrs. Jenkins had set up a game of Scrabble and the women were seated around the table. Spike sat next to Mrs. Jenkins. Liam had been teaching him how to play, but he wasn’t secure in his spelling abilities, so he wanted to watch and learn. He was tired from all the food and champagne, but he was happy and didn’t want the day to end. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s - he had celebrated every holiday with his new friends. His heart was so full. He still had trouble believing that these people wanted him around; that he belonged. It was almost too much and he sometimes wondered when his new life would crumble and he’d be back on the streets. He glanced at Liam who was talking animatedly with the other men about the football game. Liam must have felt his stare because he looked over and winked at him. A flood of warmth coursed through Spike’s slender body.
A while later they sat back at the table and had desert, coffee, tea and liqueurs. Liam had brought Amaretto and there were several other liqueurs served, as well. Spike sampled every one. He decided that his favorite was Bailey’s.
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Liam and Spike drove back to the cabin. Both of them were happily exhausted.
“Don’t think I can eat another thing for a week.” Spike grumbled. “Clothes aren’t gonna fit.”
“Guess you won’t want the rest of the chocolate cake that Mrs. Jenkins sent home then?” Liam asked with a smirk.
Spike glared but couldn’t hide the twitching at the corners of his mouth. “Maybe in a day or two.”
“I’m gonna make chamomile tea, Spike. It helps soothe my stomach. Want some?” Liam asked.
“Yeah, gonna get undressed first.” He answered as he walked toward the bedroom.
Liam handed him the tea and went to get changed. When he returned, Spike was sprawled on the sofa with Bella in his lap and Mac flopped across his feet. Again a warm glow filled Liam’s heart - he and Spike and the animals, all together in the cabin.
“Spike, are you awake? Do you want me to build up the fire or do you just want to go to bed.” Liam asked.
He opened one eye. “Too tired to move. Maybe I’ll just sleep here.”
“It’ll get too cold in the night. Can’t let the fire burn while we’re asleep. Come on, old man, I’ll help you up.” Liam said with a smile.
Spike opened his other eye. “Old man, huh? Who was whining about his aching back this morning?” He said grinning as he stood up. His face grew serious and he spoke quietly. “Liam…sleep in the bed with me? Don’t…we don’t have to…just sleep…so your back won’t hurt.” He lowered his eyes, terrified that Liam would refuse and confused as to why it meant so much to him.
Liam stood quietly for a long moment. He wanted to sleep with Spike; wanted to hold him but…is it too much too soon for both of us? We need to take this very slowly. He’s still…
Liam sighed and put his hand on Spike’s shoulder. “Okay…just sleep. You go. I’ll tamp down the fire and come in.”
Spike nodded and he and Bella strolled toward the bedroom. Liam let Mac out and fixed the fire. The dog barked and he let him in. When the animal saw the fire was gone, he turned and sauntered into the bedroom, his nails clicking on the hardwood floor. Pajama party, huh? His heart clenched. He wasn’t certain whether it was joy or fear.
He walked into the dark bedroom. Mac was lying across the foot of the huge four-poster bed. Bella was pressed against the crook of Spike’s knee and he…he lay on his side; hands tucked under his cheek, mouth slightly open. Liam stood and watched him sleep. He hesitated. He’s already asleep. Should I…should I just go sleep on the mattress? Will he be hurt if I don’t sleep here? Will this…? Liam sighed. He had been sleeping alone for a long time. It would be nice to be in bed with someone again. He drew back the covers and slid in next to Spike, who groaned and turned onto his other side. He whispered something in his sleep but Liam couldn’t hear what he said. Liam reached out and touched the bare skin on Spike's arm. Spike suddenly jerked away and muttered, "No…No," in his sleep. Liam bit his lip and his eyes filled with tears as he tried to imagine the horrific memories that clouded Spike's dreams. Liam shuddered. Who had he last been with? Will either of us be able to forget Spike's past? He pulled the blankets over them. He lay thinking, worrying, remembering for a long time. Finally, sleep shoved away all his thoughts.
*************************
Liam woke suddenly from an erotic dream. When he opened his eyes, he saw why. Spike was lying across his legs, sucking his cock and massaging his balls. Sensing Liam was awake, Spike looked up.
“Spike…you don’t…don’t have to.” Liam stammered.
Spike took his mouth away and Liam struggled not to groan. He needed release!
“Not doin’ it cause I have to. Want to. Wanted to for a long time. Please?” He said, his eyes blazing with passion; his face flushed with desire.
Liam didn’t answer for a long minute. Is this right? Am I…he has had so much hurt. Will this make things worse for him?
As he was thinking, he watched Spike’s face begin to crumple. He thinks I’m rejecting him! He reached out to Spike and nodded his head. Spike smiled and devoured his cock.
Chapter 10
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Title: Runaways
Authors: angelspike69 and anamcara420
Pairing: Liam/Spike (William)
Rating: Adult. This story contains M/M sex. If that isn’t your cup of tea then go away now and don’t read any farther.
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Angel and Spike don’t belong to us. If they did, they’d be following up all their fighting and snarking with each other with lots of manly shagging.
Spoilers: No spoilers at all as this is a story that takes place in an alternate universe where our boys are totally human and have never been vampires. We’re not even sure if they believe in them.
Feedback: AngelSpike69 and Anamcara420
Notes: Would like to extend our sincere thanks to makd (aka Mary) for her beta of our story. You are the best sweetie!!!!! Previous chapters can be found in my memories here or in our archive here.
Summary: Two damaged young men meet by chance in the woods in Vermont. Through conflict and kindness and the special magic of Christmas, they stop running from their pasts and help each other to heal.
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Chapter 9
Emotions raged through Liam’s heart and thoughts flashed through his mind as he stared down at Spike. He saw his luscious mouth curled in a half smile; his sparkling blue eyes tearfully hopeful. Although he fought it, he had longed for a loving relationship, but with Spike? He was surprised by that. He’s ten years younger than I…he’s…his life…does he know how to love, really love? Or does he just want…sex…security? He recalled Spike saying that he used sex to get what he wanted. What does he really want from me? He remembered Spike’s comments about the frigid winter weather on the island and his desire to go to Burlington. Dry Goods! There are no clothing stores, book stores, art stores…there is nothing for him on this island. How long would he stay? He’d go and I…I’d be alone…again.
Liam reached out and stroked Spike’s soft, white skin. He rubbed his thumb across Spike’s sharp cheekbone, finely etched on his slightly flushed face. God…he’s so beautiful…I…need…he said want, not love. I can’t…can he…love…is…is he…too…damaged? Then it hit him all at once. Sure he wanted what was best for Spike, but it went deeper than that. Somehow, in the last few months, Spike had found his way into Liam's heart, which had locked after David's death. God help me, but I …I could love him…maybe…I…can show him…how to love. He has been used so much…his horrific past. I don’t want him to think…to think that all I want…is to use him too.
Spike could read the doubt and fear in Liam’s deep brown eyes. But he also saw the longing. “Liam…”
“No, Spike. Listen. You’ve had a horrible time of it. You’ve been used and abused terribly. I won’t do that to you. Your past is in the past. You deserve a new life. Doing things you haven’t had a chance to do. You deserve that and so much more.”
“But…” Spike pleaded, desperately. Bloody hell! How can I make him understand? I don’t…I don’t understand what…what I’m feeling. Sure he felt lust for Liam, but he was feeling something deeper, too. Something he’d never felt before. Something that made him feel…vulnerable. And he knew only one way to show Liam. Swallowing hard, Spike continued, “I want you. Never wanted anyone before.” He reached for the waistband of Liam’s sweatpants and slid his hand down, searching.
Liam tried to move away, disconcerted by Spike’s actions. As he moved he felt Spike’s warm hand wrap around his already-hardened cock.
Spike smiled when he found it. “You want me, don’t you? I can feel that you want me. Why are you fighting it?”
“Spike, stop it!” Liam reached down and pulled Spike’s hand from his cock. “You don’t have to do this.”
“Do what?” Spike asked seductively. He moved closer to Liam, reaching out for him, trying to draw him down for a kiss.
“This…sex….”
“Not what it is, Liam.” Spike replied. He pouted. He had seen Liam’s reaction when he pouted and he was desperate to get him to stop thinking and just give in to his feelings.
Liam stepped back. “Well, then what is it? You’ve told me you’ve used sex to get what you want…to survive. You don’t have to do that with me. That’s not the way it works. I …I care about you! I’m not going…I’m not one of those men that used you, Spike.
“I know you’re not. Figured that out a while ago. But…You want me. I want you. Where’s the harm?” Spike moved a step closer and put his hand on Liam’s chest. “Make us both feel good.”
Liam clasped Spike’s hand and lowered it from his body. He stared at Spike and spoke softly, willing him to understand what he was trying to say. “Spike, being intimate with someone is so much more than just sex. It’s sharing with another person…a person you care for. It’s more than just sharing your body. It’s so much more. I don’t know…I don’t know if… you understand that…your past…you’re not used to trusting…”
Spike interrupted. “You could show me…please…please show me, Liam. I’m a mess inside. Have all these feelings, churning, eating at me. Am I so…so dirty…so hopeless that you can’t…” His voice broke and he lowered his head. When he looked up at Liam, tears shimmered at the corner of his eyes. “Don’t want you just for sex…but that’s…that’s all I know. Show me…please?”
Liam watched the tears slip from Spike’s eyes and his heart trembled with conflicting emotions. God help me…this is so wrong on so many levels. But his desire to show Spike the difference between having sex and making love and his own longing made him dare to go on. He sighed and put his finger against Spike’s lips. “Hush.” He said as he took his finger from Spike’s mouth and reached for his hand. Turning it over, he kissed the palm lightly and then pulled Spike close to him. He captured the smaller man’s mouth in a gentle kiss and rained feathery kisses on his eyes, his cheeks, his brow, his ear. Spike shivered and Liam felt him harden. The larger man drew back and smiled sweetly. “Slowly, Spike. We have all night.” Liam grasped his long, thin fingers and drew him over to the fireplace. Releasing Spike, he took the blanket from the sofa and knelt down to arrange it in front of the firelight. He looked up and Spike knelt in front of him. Liam took his hand again and kissed each fingertip. Spike closed his eyes and felt a tingling sensation that he never felt before race through his body.
Liam pushed the robe from his shoulders and began to pull the t-shirt up over Spike’s head. Spike groaned and reached for the taller man. Liam smiled. “No.” He leaned over and kissed the smaller man’s ear.
“Liam…”
Again the sweet smile as Liam gently pushed Spike to the floor. He leaned over him and kissed up his chest, sucking a nipple into his mouth. Spike moaned and arched. Liam ignored the movements beneath him and pressed his body across Spike’s. He grabbed the other nipple into his mouth as he placed his large hand over the tented material at Spike’s groin, never taking his lips from Spike’s slender chest.
Spike raised his hips as he felt Liam touch him. He felt like he’d been shocked with an electrical current. His body tingled and he could feel his blood roar through his veins. He felt every beat of his pounding heart. Spike placed his hand on Liam’s head and pushed down, but Liam resisted.
Releasing the pert nub from his mouth, he moved up Spike’s chest, placing tiny kisses along the almost translucent skin until he was looking down at Spike’s finely boned face. “Slowly Spike…we are going to take it slowly. I’m going to show you how beautiful it can be between two people. You don’t have to do anything. Just let me show you.” Liam brought his head down and captured Spike’s lips in a soft kiss. He teased Spike’s mouth with his tongue while he traced his fingers down the side of his face.
Spike whimpered as Liam’s tongue sought entrance. Not used to the tenderness - the deliberate gentleness of Liam’s touches - Spike became very unsure of himself. A bit frightened because he did not know what to do, he tried to take control by shifting; trying to roll over so that he was on top, but Liam wouldn’t let him. He broke off the kiss and stared up at the man above him.
As if he could sense Spike’s tumultuous emotions, Liam looked down and saw the fear clouding his blue eyes. “Spike?”
“I…I…” Spike stuttered.
“You want to stop? Just tell me if you do. We’ll only go as far as you want to go.”
Spike shook his head and mumbled something that Liam couldn’t understand. “What is it, Spike?”
“Don’t want to stop…it’s just that…”
“What is it?”
Spike blushed and looked away. Liam gently took Spike’s chin in his hand and turned his head so that he was looking up at him once more.
“Tell me, Spike. It’s just what?”
“Don’t know what to do. Not used to someone being…being gentle…caring that I…that I enjoy it. Nobody…bothered before.” He sighed and tried to smirk. “Can’t we just get to the shagging part…forget the rest. Don’t understand the reason for it anyway.”
Liam smiled down at him and brushed Spike’s tousled hair from his brow. He searched for the right words; words that wouldn’t hurt. “Spike, this isn’t just shagging as you put it. For me, it’s always much more than. You wanted me to show you…teach you. But if all you want is shagging, then I’m not the man you want.” He leaned in and lightly kissed Spike’s lips, hoping his touch would soften his words. “Let me show you another way.”
Liam caressed Spike’s cheek with his thumb as he waited for his response. He could see the confusion flicker in Spike’s eyes as he tried to process what he had just heard. They stared at each other until Spike finally nodded. He reached up to pull Liam down to him, taking his lips with a hesitant soft kiss of his own.
Liam let Spike take the lead for a bit to show him that sex wasn’t about control or domination. As he felt Spike relax and grow more confident, Liam trailed his hand down the smaller man’s lean body, stopping at the pointed nub of his nipple. He took it between his thumb and index finger, pinching it gently. Spike moaned as they continued to kiss, their tongues doing a slow dance of their own.
Liam grazed his hand over Spike’s heated skin until he reached the waistband on his sweats. Slipping his hand inside, Liam ran his fingers through the coarse, wiry curls and then wrapped his strong hand around Spike’s cock. Slowly he began to stroke the organ and felt it pulsate within his grip. Spike thrust his hips upward as he tried to match the movements of Liam’s hand. As Liam caressed the tip of the cock, he gathered up some of the pre-come and used it as a lubricant.
Spike moaned into Liam’s mouth as he tightly gripped the larger man’s dark brown hair in his fingers. He brought his other hand to the waistband of his sweats, trying to push the garment off.
Panting, Liam broke the kiss. He propped himself up with one hand, and looked at Spike, whose chest heaved in exertion. “Are you sure?”
Spike could only nod as he struggled to get his breathing under control. Suddenly afraid that Liam would change his mind, he grasped the waistband of his sweats and quickly pulled them down. He raised his hips and wriggled until he could kick them off. Liam had to hide a smile at Spike’s determination. He reached for Liam’s pants, trying to get them off, but the other man stopped him.
“No, not yet. This is about you…all about you.”
“But…” Spike tried to reply, but was cut off when a long finger pressed against his lips. He sucked the digit into his mouth and grinned when he heard a quiet moan escape from Liam. He twirled his tongue around the finger, licking it and drawing it deeper into his mouth. Liam shuddered and pulled his finger out. He dragged his hand over the smaller man’s thin body. Suddenly Spike hissed as Liam began to massage his balls.
Liam groaned silently. It’s so warm…so warm. He ran his finger along Spike’s perineum, pressing down gently and smiled when Spike moaned and jerked his hips. He slowly lowered his hand until his finger ghosted over Spike’s entrance. He could feel it quiver and clench under his touch. He circled the opening, but never pressed forward, teasing Spike mercilessly. Finally taking pity on the writhing body beneath him, Liam brought his other hand down and wrapped it around Spike’s engorged cock.
Spike whimpered as Liam continued his seductive torment of his body with his heated, tender touch. “Liam…please…can’t…take…much…more! Need…”
“Tell me Spike, what do you need?”
“Don’t know…Just know I need…Please…not used to…they never…”
Liam understood and decided to end Spike’s sweet torture. Suddenly he stopped. Realization dawned. He had nothing. He hadn’t made love with anyone since David died. And he certainly had no idea this would have happened between the two of them. He removed his hands and drew away from Spike’s body, sitting back on his heels.
Spike propped himself up on his elbows and looked at Liam, uncertain and frightened. “What’s the matter? Why’d you stop? Did I do something wrong?”
Liam looked at the confusion marring Spike’s lovely face. “No, it’s not you Spike. I just realized something.”
“What?” Spike responded, his soft voice tremulous. “Is it me? It’s me, I knew it. You can’t get past what I was?” Spike frantically tried to get up. He wanted to be anywhere, anywhere other than where he was at the moment. I knew it…I knew he…he can’t forget what I was.
Liam reached for Spike. He pressed his powerful hand against the smaller man’s trembling body. “No. You’re wrong Spike. It’s just that…” He felt his face flush and he stammered slightly. “I…I hadn’t planned on this happening. I just realized that I’m…I’m not prepared for this.” When he saw that Spike still didn’t understand what he was trying to say, he continued. “It’s just that I haven’t made love to anyone since David died.” He looked at Spike. He saw hurt and disappointment scarring his face as he tried to push Liam away.
He glared at the larger man and snarled. “David…should’ve known it.”
“Spike! No! It’s not because of David. It’s just that…I don’t have any lube or condoms.” He spoke quietly; a deep blush flooding his cheeks.
Relieved that it wasn’t him or devotion to the dead David that was stopping Liam, Spike chuckled as he reached for the robe that lay in a heap next to him. Liam watched as Spike dipped his hand into one of the pockets of the robe and pulled out a tube of slick and several packets of condoms. Grinning, he held out his hand to Liam, showing him his bounty.
“I weren’t never a boy scout, but I figured it couldn’t hurt to be prepared.”
Liam smiled at the boyish, yet definitely sensual smirk on Spike’s face. “So, you were sure of yourself were you?”
“No, but I hoped.” Spike replied, his eyes bright with excitement.
When Liam didn’t say anything, Spike bit his lip worriedly, his body tense, afraid that somehow he had messed everything up.
Liam noticed how Spike’s body stiffened with tension. He’s so insecure. He can’t believe that someone wants him, not just his body. His eyes twinkled as he took the lube and condoms from Spike’s hand and laid them on the floor. He crawled closer to Spike and took his mouth swiftly in a bruising kiss.
As they kissed, Spike reached down and once again tried to push Liam’s sweats down off his hips. When Liam didn’t try to stop him this time, he became emboldened. He yanked harder and when Liam’s cock popped free of the garment, Spike wrapped his hand around the large, swollen shaft and stroked, gently at first and then more forcefully. Liam moaned deeply and he pressed his lips passionately against Spike’s. As he continued to stroke and kiss Liam, Spike slowly got to his knees. He tried to push Liam onto his back and the larger man didn’t fight him. When he had Liam on the floor, he laid his smaller body over him, pressing his pelvis down against Liam’s.
Spike finally broke the kiss. Sliding slowly down Liam’s body, he paused over his cock. Looking up at Liam, he started to go down, but Liam stopped him.
“No, Spike…this is about you tonight. Remember.”
“But…you make me feel so good. Make me feel things…I’ve… I’ve never felt before. Just want you to feel the same thing.”
“Oh believe me, Spike, I do. Just touching you and watching you respond is all I need.”
“Well, bloody hell…that doesn’t make much sense.”
“I know it doesn’t, Spike. But it will.” Liam sat up and pushed Spike to the floor, dropping a few kisses onto his mouth. He nipped and kissed Spike’s chest as he moved down his body.
Grasping Spike’s hard cock once again, he took it into his mouth. He swept his tongue across the tip, lapping up the fluid that was pooling at the top. He swallowed as he slowly went down on Spike, licking the shaft and wrapping his tongue around the hard organ. He could feel it swell within the confines of his mouth. When he went as far as he could go, he began to bob his head, up and down, sucking deeply and occasionally scraping blunt teeth on one side of the organ.
Spike hissed at the overwhelming sensations. His body shivered with desire. He didn’t know what to do. No one had ever done this to him before. Sure he’d done it plenty of times, but it was quick and emotionless. The johns had never been interested in pleasing him; they just wanted to get off. None of them even thought about him or whether he was enjoying it or not. He was in new territory. He thought he just wanted Liam to fuck him, but he was enjoying what the larger man was doing to him right now, he didn’t want him to stop. He fisted the blanket underneath him as Liam continued to suck on his cock. He felt his balls tighten up and knew he was going to come.
“Liam…please…gonna…gonna…” But before he could get it out, he exploded into Liam’s mouth. He panted as he brought his hand up to wipe the sweat that was threatening to run into his eyes. Embarrassed by his lack of control, he covered his eyes and sobbed.
Liam swallowed and wiped his mouth. Worried, he lay next to Spike, and tried to remove his small hand from his eyes. “Spike…what’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry, Liam…really I am.” He sobbed.
“Sorry? What do you have to be sorry about?”
“I…I…” Spike hiccupped as he tried to explain, his blue eyes blurred with tears, his skin pearled with sweat. “Didn’t mean to do that….didn’t mean to come in your mouth.”
Liam dropped a kiss to Spike’s lips, a smile of understanding flickering in his eyes. He pushed back the damp hair curling around Spike’s face. “It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong. I wanted you to come.”
“Why?”
“So that when we continue, you'll be more relaxed.
“You weren’t turned-off?” Spike was really confused. His johns never went down on him and some would turn mean if he inadvertently came too soon…would hit him and then just fuck him dry.
“No, Spike, I wasn’t. I loved your loss of control.” Taking Spike’s hand, Liam placed it over his hard cock. “See? It showed me that you weren’t just thinking of me as one of your tricks. That you were enjoying it.” Liam realized that Spike tensed when he said tricks and he bent down and kissed the tip of his nose.
Embarrassed at first to be reminded of his past, Spike was also surprised and relieved that he hadn’t ruined it. He gasped when Liam covered his hand with his larger one, moving them so that that they were both stroking Liam’s cock. Spike felt it thicken even more within his grasp. All of a sudden shy, he sneaked a peak at the large man next to him. Liam had his head thrown back and his eyes tightly closed. He looked like he was enjoying it; a tiny smile twitched at the corner of his full lips.
Liam opened his eyes, smiled and quirked his eyebrow. Spike nodded and returned the smile. Liam’s hands were shaking and he struggled to get the condom out of the foil and onto his shaft. When that was done, he picked up the tube of slick and looked over at Spike. His mouth opened in shock. Spike was on all fours, waiting…his small body shuddering almost violently. Liam didn’t know if he was trembling in fear or in anticipation.
He put the tube down, and reached out for Spike. He felt the body jolt as he made contact. “Spike? What are you doing?”
He looked puzzled as he turned his head around. “Doing? I’m…getting ready.” He tried to keep the trepidation out of his voice.
“Not like this!” Liam placed a gentle hand on Spike’s back and helped him to turn around so that the he was facing him. He bent down to touch his lips to Spike’s cheek. “I want to watch you, and I want you to watch me.”
Spike swallowed hard. Someone would think I’m a bloody virgin I’m so nervous!
Liam ran his fingers along Spike’s jaw when he saw the nervousness play across his flushed face. It touched him deeply. He gently pushed Spike back down on the blanket and kissed him, trying to get him to relax. “Relax Spike. Let me show you…how to make love - slowly.”
He took the tube of slick and flipped the lid, squeezed the fluid out into his hand and fingers, and coated his covered shaft. He reached for Spike’s cock and began to stroke, sensuously and rhythmically, feeling it come back to life in his hand. Liam then trailed his fingers down across Spike’s balls until he reached his pucker. It quivered beneath his touch. He circled it with his finger, before inserting it slowly, inch by inch until it was fully embedded in the tight passage. He moved it around, stretching him and making sure to occasionally scrape his nail gently across the spongy mass buried deep within Spike’s channel. When he hit it the first time, Spiked arched and groaned. Liam slowly pulled out his finger and inserted a second and then a third. He moved them gently and watched the pleasure flood Spike’s flushed face as he writhed and moaned.
His own cock cried out for release and Liam removed his fingers from Spike. He positioned himself between Spike’s legs and lifted them up, placing them over his shoulders. He lined his cock up with Spike’s entrance and pressed forward slowly until he was fully seated within him. Electricity bolted throughout his body and the desire to move almost overwhelmed him. But he knew this wasn’t about him, this was about Spike. He wanted Spike to know what it meant to make love - tender, passionate, love.
When he felt that he had himself under control, Liam moved unhurriedly within Spike’s channel. He watched his beautiful face as confusion and uncertainty melted away and passion took over. Spike began to move with Liam, begging and pleading with him to go faster. Liam ignored him and continued to love Spike slowly. He wanted to draw this experience out…to make it last, but it had been so long for him and watching Spike respond to him was too much.
Tenuously holding onto his control, Liam stilled. He stayed seated within the smaller body beneath him, but drew Spike's legs off his shoulders and wrapped them around his waist. He leaned down and took Spike’s stiffened cock back into his hand and stroked it.
“Spike, open your eyes….look at me.” He smiled when the blue eyes burning with desire looked up at him. He kept his eyes on Spike as he continued to move within him. His hands on Spike’s cock matched the rhythm of his thrusts.
Spike continued to stare at Liam, lost in the sea of emotions screaming through his body. Spike grabbed hold of Liam’s broad shoulders as he wrapped his legs tighter around the larger man’s waist. He could feel it all, Liam moving inside him, his own balls tightening as if a rubber band squeezed them. He never closed his eyes. He kept them glued to Liam’s face, amazed at the intensity of need blazing in his dark eyes. Suddenly his entire body shuddered and he came all over Liam’s hand.
As Spike erupted, Liam could feel the other man’s muscles clench around his cock forcefully. Liam’s impassioned body quivered and he came in a frenzied rush as he burrowed his face into Spike’s neck. He kept thrusting inside of Spike, one…two…three more times until he was totally spent…physically and emotionally. He lay on top of Spike, still buried inside him, trying to slow down his heart, trying to catch his breath. He honestly hadn’t thought it could be this way with anyone other than David.
Abruptly, Liam shook himself out of his musings when he felt the body beneath him trembling. He slowly eased himself out of Spike’s body. He removed the used condom and tossed it into the pail next to the fireplace. He looked down, worried when he saw that Spike was crying.
“Spike, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing…it’s just…” Spike couldn’t talk, he was too overcome with powerful emotions; he couldn’t stop the tears. His brain couldn’t comprehend what had just happened.
Moving to his side, Liam gathered Spike into his arms tenderly stroking up and down his back. Spike collapsed against him, his body still shaking. “It’s just what?”
Spike gulped and spoke, his voice shaking as he burrowed into Liam’s chest. “Didn’t know…it could be like that. Feel like that. Makes…makes what I did seem…bloody awful. How…how you can be so nice to me? How can you not be disgusted by me?”
Liam held the slender body closer and whispered. “Shh…it’s okay Spike. What you did in the past is of no consequence. You have to understand that. You did what you had to do. You survived the only way you knew how.” Liam continued his soft soothing words as he kissed Spike’s head and gently stroked the length of Spike’s spine. The shivering quieted after a short while and he glanced down at Spike’s face. He had fallen asleep; his dark eyelashes making shadows on his white cheeks.
Liam reached over to the couch and pulled the other blanket toward him, making sure they were both covered. He pulled Spike into the crook of his neck and tightened his arms around him. Liam dropped a kiss onto his temple and joined Spike in an exhausted sleep.
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Spike woke, at first puzzled by the powerful arms enfolding him. Then he remembered and smiled. Slowly he slipped from Liam’s grasp and lay on his side watching the larger man sleep. Spike gazed at his face and memorized the curve of his lips; his skin burnished gold in the firelight, the brown curls tumbled over his brow. His heart was bursting with a feeling he had never experienced before he came to North Hero and met Liam - pure joy. He was safe and warm and…loved? These emotions were so new…confusing…and…terrifying. This wasn’t his life…the tenderness, the concern. Liam had made love to him; had made sure he …was satisfied. A symphony of feelings and thoughts thrummed through his body and he was happy and…scared. Scared to make a mistake…to do something to make Liam…not want him.
Liam’s eyes fluttered open and he was momentarily disoriented. He felt good…happy. He turned his head and saw Spike smiling at him and he remembered. He rolled over and the two men stared at each other in silence for a few moments. Liam stretched and hissed.
“You okay?” Spike asked, his brow wrinkled in concern.
Liam winced and smiled. “Back’s stiff. Not used to sleeping on the floor.”
“Yeah. You’re used to feather beds and soft sheets, ponce.” Spike said with a smirk.
Liam growled and rolled closer, captured Spike in his arms and then smacked his ass with one hand.
“Ow…that hurt!”
Liam released him and drew back. He watched Spike pout and he felt stirring in his groin. Spike grinned wider and waggled his eyebrows. “Can’t resist me, Liam. Got power over you.”
Liam returned the grin, stretched his arms above his head and groaned. “I need to let the shower get the kinks out.” He glanced toward the grandfather clock. It was close to 10 o’clock. He sat up. Spike stayed where he was, his hand resting on Bella, who had sauntered over and flopped on the blanket by his side.
“I think I’ll get a bath. You go.” Spike said.
Liam laughed. “And you call me a ponce. I’m gonna have to buy more bubble bath. You used almost all of it.” He jumped up and somehow managed to keep himself covered with the blanket. Spike pulled a pillow from the sofa and tossed it at Liam. He tried to glare but he was laughing.
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After Liam showered, Spike took his turn. When he came out into the kitchen, Liam was cooking. The men sat down to eat breakfast.
“We’re supposed to be at Mrs. Jenkins’ around three, Spike. I have to start making the lasagna as soon as I finish.”
“Who else is gonna be there?”
“The doc, Tom Hanson, John and Amy, Ann and Jess.” Liam replied.
“The usual suspects, huh?” Spike grinned.
“Yeah. We seem to have formed a little family of sorts.” Liam answered quietly.
Spike didn’t answer. He finished eating and took his plate into the kitchen. “Need me to help with the…the lasagna?”
“Yeah. Can you get out the pasta pot?”
Spike laughed out loud. “Pasta pot. You are a right ponce, Liam. Having a pot just for pasta.” Liam opened his mouth to answer and Spike interrupted, smiling broadly. “I know. I know. You’re Italian, it’s required.”
He laughed at the look on Liam’s face and bent down to find the large pot. When he stood up, something soft hit his head. Liam had thrown a dish towel at him. Spike laughed again and tossed the towel back. “Ponce.” He said and turned to fill the pot with water.
Liam showed Spike the intricacies of lasagna making. He then showed him how to mince garlic and mix it with butter, sweet basil and oregano and spread it on loaves of Italian bread. When they were finished, they sat in front of the fire and watched some college football. Spike was becoming more knowledgeable about the game. He cared about it since he now knew that Liam had played the game, and that he was good enough to get a football scholarship to college.
“Hey, Liam. You got one of those football jerseys?”
A shadow flickered over the other man’s face. “Yeah. On a shelf in the closet.”
Spike had seen the shadow, but continued. “What was your number?”
“Seven. I was a quarterback.”
As they watched the game, Liam explained about the numbering system; lower numbers for quarterbacks and running backs; the higher numbers for lineman. Spike had played football, or what American’s call soccer in the schoolyard when he was kid in Liverpool, but had had no athletic training since he’d never gone to high school in California.
*************************
Spike, Liam and Mac arrived at Mrs. Jenkins with a huge baking dish of lasagna and two loaves of garlic bread; the powerful aromas blending together in a mouthwatering concert.
There’s enough food for a football team. Spike thought to himself as he saw the table laden with various kinds of food. Each guest had brought something appropriate to his or her nationality. Amy had made onion soup with a recipe from John’s French grandmother and lebkuchen, her German grandmother’s recipe for spice bars. Mrs. Jenkins had made the English dish, Beef Wellington and a chocolate mousse cake especially for Spike. Doc Clayton had brought colcannon, a potato casserole from Ireland, and Tom Hanson - the sheriff - brought a squash casserole and cranberry bread in honor of his Abenaki Native American heritage. There were American vegetables - buttered carrots, green beans and candied sweet potatoes and baked stuffed haddock in honor of the long fishing tradition of New England.
They said grace and toasted the New Year with champagne. Liam and Spike glanced at each other as they lifted their glasses. They both blushed and had to shift in their seats as their groins stiffened. Liam smiled and Spike grinned back. Mrs. Jenkins beamed as she looked around the table. Her house was full of guests.
During the meal, Liam and the sheriff gave much of their attention to Ann, who glowed with happiness. Spike sat next to Jess and she talked about college. She had originally gone to Boston College, but had to leave to take care of her mother. This spring, she was going to take classes at the Community College of Vermont in St. Alban’s about forty-five minutes away. She would also be taking some online courses at the University of Vermont in Burlington. She told Spike about the many art classes offered at the community college and at the university and encouraged him to apply. Spike flushed and mumbled that he would look into it. He didn’t tell her that he had never been to high school.
Spike looked up to find Liam watching him, his eyebrow quirked in question. Spike just shook his head and looked away to talk to Mrs. Jenkins. Liam was concerned. Spike’s shoulders had been rigid and he looked uncomfortable and embarrassed. What could Jess have said to him?
Everyone helped clear the table. The men hung around a bit until Mrs. Jenkins pushed them out.
“I know you all want to watch football. We’ll make coffee and be in shortly. We still have all those deserts to sample.”
“I don’t think I can eat anything else.” Doc Clayton said.
“There’s always room for desert, doc.” Amy replied. She turned to Spike. “You won’t resist Mrs. Jenkins’ chocolate mousse cake will you?”
Spike and everyone else laughed. Spike’s devotion to all things chocolate was widely known. Liam joined in the laughter and felt warm inside. Spike has to feel like he belongs. He does. He belongs here.
Liam and Tom went outside to carry more wood from the barn to the back porch and Spike joined them to help and toss the ball for Mac. When they returned, Mrs. Jenkins had set up a game of Scrabble and the women were seated around the table. Spike sat next to Mrs. Jenkins. Liam had been teaching him how to play, but he wasn’t secure in his spelling abilities, so he wanted to watch and learn. He was tired from all the food and champagne, but he was happy and didn’t want the day to end. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s - he had celebrated every holiday with his new friends. His heart was so full. He still had trouble believing that these people wanted him around; that he belonged. It was almost too much and he sometimes wondered when his new life would crumble and he’d be back on the streets. He glanced at Liam who was talking animatedly with the other men about the football game. Liam must have felt his stare because he looked over and winked at him. A flood of warmth coursed through Spike’s slender body.
A while later they sat back at the table and had desert, coffee, tea and liqueurs. Liam had brought Amaretto and there were several other liqueurs served, as well. Spike sampled every one. He decided that his favorite was Bailey’s.
*************************
Liam and Spike drove back to the cabin. Both of them were happily exhausted.
“Don’t think I can eat another thing for a week.” Spike grumbled. “Clothes aren’t gonna fit.”
“Guess you won’t want the rest of the chocolate cake that Mrs. Jenkins sent home then?” Liam asked with a smirk.
Spike glared but couldn’t hide the twitching at the corners of his mouth. “Maybe in a day or two.”
“I’m gonna make chamomile tea, Spike. It helps soothe my stomach. Want some?” Liam asked.
“Yeah, gonna get undressed first.” He answered as he walked toward the bedroom.
Liam handed him the tea and went to get changed. When he returned, Spike was sprawled on the sofa with Bella in his lap and Mac flopped across his feet. Again a warm glow filled Liam’s heart - he and Spike and the animals, all together in the cabin.
“Spike, are you awake? Do you want me to build up the fire or do you just want to go to bed.” Liam asked.
He opened one eye. “Too tired to move. Maybe I’ll just sleep here.”
“It’ll get too cold in the night. Can’t let the fire burn while we’re asleep. Come on, old man, I’ll help you up.” Liam said with a smile.
Spike opened his other eye. “Old man, huh? Who was whining about his aching back this morning?” He said grinning as he stood up. His face grew serious and he spoke quietly. “Liam…sleep in the bed with me? Don’t…we don’t have to…just sleep…so your back won’t hurt.” He lowered his eyes, terrified that Liam would refuse and confused as to why it meant so much to him.
Liam stood quietly for a long moment. He wanted to sleep with Spike; wanted to hold him but…is it too much too soon for both of us? We need to take this very slowly. He’s still…
Liam sighed and put his hand on Spike’s shoulder. “Okay…just sleep. You go. I’ll tamp down the fire and come in.”
Spike nodded and he and Bella strolled toward the bedroom. Liam let Mac out and fixed the fire. The dog barked and he let him in. When the animal saw the fire was gone, he turned and sauntered into the bedroom, his nails clicking on the hardwood floor. Pajama party, huh? His heart clenched. He wasn’t certain whether it was joy or fear.
He walked into the dark bedroom. Mac was lying across the foot of the huge four-poster bed. Bella was pressed against the crook of Spike’s knee and he…he lay on his side; hands tucked under his cheek, mouth slightly open. Liam stood and watched him sleep. He hesitated. He’s already asleep. Should I…should I just go sleep on the mattress? Will he be hurt if I don’t sleep here? Will this…? Liam sighed. He had been sleeping alone for a long time. It would be nice to be in bed with someone again. He drew back the covers and slid in next to Spike, who groaned and turned onto his other side. He whispered something in his sleep but Liam couldn’t hear what he said. Liam reached out and touched the bare skin on Spike's arm. Spike suddenly jerked away and muttered, "No…No," in his sleep. Liam bit his lip and his eyes filled with tears as he tried to imagine the horrific memories that clouded Spike's dreams. Liam shuddered. Who had he last been with? Will either of us be able to forget Spike's past? He pulled the blankets over them. He lay thinking, worrying, remembering for a long time. Finally, sleep shoved away all his thoughts.
*************************
Liam woke suddenly from an erotic dream. When he opened his eyes, he saw why. Spike was lying across his legs, sucking his cock and massaging his balls. Sensing Liam was awake, Spike looked up.
“Spike…you don’t…don’t have to.” Liam stammered.
Spike took his mouth away and Liam struggled not to groan. He needed release!
“Not doin’ it cause I have to. Want to. Wanted to for a long time. Please?” He said, his eyes blazing with passion; his face flushed with desire.
Liam didn’t answer for a long minute. Is this right? Am I…he has had so much hurt. Will this make things worse for him?
As he was thinking, he watched Spike’s face begin to crumple. He thinks I’m rejecting him! He reached out to Spike and nodded his head. Spike smiled and devoured his cock.
Chapter 10