Lost dreams, that I will never forget

[angelslasthope]

Today was such a great day... not really... if you've noticed, I only update when something REALLY big happens... and of coarse something really big did. I went over Dans house afterschool cuz I was so stressed out from school maybe Dan could've cheered me up. I was fine and dandy me and Dan talked about his video games then we played Duck Hunt cuz he played this really sick techno of it and I was like "DAN I GOTTA PLAY DUCKHUNT!" Chris told me he was going to pick me up from Dan's house because of the fact that him and me were supposed to go to this chicks house to fix her computer (she told us we could've done it yesterday but she wasn't home after we visited twice) so she was home miraculously(sp?) We went over her house at around 4. We set up the chick's new computer it was smooth, me and Chris had to pick up a computer I had the parts for and was going to build for her. We went over and I was going to my room... Decided to call Megan while I was going upstairs but everytime it would go to her voicemail it would then do a busy signal so I was like eh w/e. I went on and saw her and she told me she was feeling pretty shitty so I asked her why? she told me in review she was tired of how I treated her (I really don't blame her) and that *as I interpret it* I've made her sad and depressed (Still don't blame her... because I really was a terrible b/f.) she said I'm sorry and I logged off... threw my keyboard accross the room... and just cried on the floor... Chris wasnt around because I told him to load the computer in his car... He came back upstairs after I was done and I explained everything to him. He said "don't worry about it Jose..." So as I got into his car I was about to start bawling again and told him to take me to Dan's house. We drove to Dan's house told Dan the news and he really felt like shit for me. I told them this is just showing me I should really grow up. We were at Dan's house when Dan's mom came up to us and said "hey guys can u give Dan a ride to his cousin's in Springfield?" and Chris said sure. So us three went over Chris' house while we picked up some parts for the chick's computer. As we were in the car I cried yet again... Dan saw me and said don't worry dude... life sucks like that... just keep ur head up. I took the advice and just held it in. (Later Dan would describe I seemed borderline between extremely depressed and extremely happy) *guess Megan really did teach me how to hide my emotions* We then went to Springfield went to Dan's cuz house and chilled for 20 mins. We then took a detour and went to Chris' grandparents because her grandmother just got back from the hospital... She seems like a really awesome person, she gave me candy and everything after I told her what happened. (Chris' family seem to like solving other ppl's issues) We left her house with two oranges and drove back to the chick's house. We got there like around 8. We fixed her mom's computer and I found out I forgot to put memory on the computer we were giving her so poor Chris had to drive back to his house to get some memory. We then went to KFC like around 9, Chris' friend Geoff hooked us up with like a 25 dollar meal for only 10 bucks so we got pretty filled, me and Chris talked about the whole situation and it made me feel better... As we left tho I started getting those thoughts back... I got back home at 10, cuz mom wanted me to fix the wireless... and Mike J just called cuz I sent him a txt and he was worried if I would kill myself or something. He said two ppl got fired so I might deffenetly have a chance for a job during these next couple of days over at CompUSA.

All in all today was such a shitty day, My friends were there for me. But I hope she'll stay in my life as the friends we were when we first met. I'm not removing that picture of her from my cell phone tho because... I still love her and to drop her off my life may be a solution but I'm not about to take it. I hope things become better... wether she doesn't want me or she does...