[Blackbird] Tell me Clarise... do you still hear the lambs screaming...
I got a small bomb dropped on me today. OKay, a fucking large one. I'm surrounded by people with secrets. It was sort of nice back in the Union to not have those.. at least within unit. Guess Avalon had fallen and no one wanted to say anything. Damned lies.
She was so afraid I'd hate her. Or that I'd fire or something. God help me, for a moment I did. One of those things killed my fucking men, killed my fucking unit and nearly killed me. Lost me everything. Gave me more voices from the people I failed echoing in my fucking dreams at night and whispering during the day. I wanted to scream and rage... Jesus. I wanted to kill her.. .because maybe that would stop one of the voices.
But looked so terrifed. So afraid, I of all people would hate her, like that mattered. It's not normal for people to give a shit about me caring one way or the other, beyond not wanting me to shoot them. I... I chose her over the memories. Sure that's going to bother me tonight, sure there will be only stronger memories of the dead.
damnit. i don't know if i'm cut out to have friends.
She was so afraid I'd hate her. Or that I'd fire or something. God help me, for a moment I did. One of those things killed my fucking men, killed my fucking unit and nearly killed me. Lost me everything. Gave me more voices from the people I failed echoing in my fucking dreams at night and whispering during the day. I wanted to scream and rage... Jesus. I wanted to kill her.. .because maybe that would stop one of the voices.
But looked so terrifed. So afraid, I of all people would hate her, like that mattered. It's not normal for people to give a shit about me caring one way or the other, beyond not wanting me to shoot them. I... I chose her over the memories. Sure that's going to bother me tonight, sure there will be only stronger memories of the dead.
damnit. i don't know if i'm cut out to have friends.