Strictly OOC - Requiem Humor - Things Kincaid is Not Allowed To Do
(Thanks to Pouncy and Skippy's list for this..)
I will not encourage Chorus members to have their head set on fire to show that even the heathens in the Lancea Sanctum understand Pain Teaches.
I will not refer to the Lancea Sanctum as heathens, heretics, infidels, or satanists.
-I will not argue that turn about is fair play.
--Even if they are.
I will not ask the Sanctified if they can make a +5 holy avenger.
I will not ask the Sanctified if they can turn Undead.
I will not introduce my right hand Acolyte to a Cardinal's Paladin as my "Half Elven Ranger" nor allow him to say he has a +5 against Vampires as a chosen enemy.
The Crone did not write the Kama Sutra and thus it is not part of the Liturgy
I will not use 'sex magic' as a pitch to convert others to the Circle of the Crone
I will not convince the tree huggers in my covenant to hug the Black Oak mandragora. Especially if we haven't fed it in a while.
I will not use another Acolyte's tarot cards to play Cripple Mr. Onion
I am not to sign messages to my praxis as "Vetinari, Tyrant"
-Even if he is a personal role model
Giving people regencies over Show Low, Nowhere, Tombstone, or Yuma are not proper rewards.
I should not seriously consider the suggestion to become Imperial Prince of Arizona. Nor Empress of the West. Nor Queen of the World.
I will stop telling Acolytes and Choristers that they could rise in esteem faster if they brought me the head of: Any Morbus, Cardinals, Silver Ravenwolf, Jack Chick, any Popes, or anyone named Vecna.
I will not tell Chorus members to call Akuete Nanny Ogg. Nor claim the correct pronunciation of her name is 'Esme'
The great secret to my Cruac is not 'Headology'
I will not offer to summon a real demon to make a point to younger Acolytes or 'demon worshippers' who are merely worshipping abyssal entities.
I will not encourage any male to compliment Amrit on her ass or rack or ask what she is wearing under the Sari.
While funny, it is not correct to respond to queries about apostates with "Kill them all. God will sort them out."
I will not get people drunk, tattoo the Dark Mark on them, then announce they have joined the covenant.
I will not refer to non-Acolytes as 'Muggles'
I will not lock two male Invictus into rooms to see if 'hot man sex' occurs.
I will not refer to the Invictus Fealty chain as a 'well organize dom/sub gentleman's club."
I will not lock two carthians into a room with a plexiglass ceiling and then have tickets sold for pit fighting.
Vivian's real name is not Felix Unger.
It is improper to call Lord Savage Edward, Eddie, Eddie the Butch, Snookums, or hotstuff in public.
I will not give gangrel gifts of rawhide bones, catnip, or pet chow
I will not advise in a concerned tone that perhaps Ventrue of my aquaintence should go speak with a shrink.
It is not appropriate to tell people that a gangrel in animal form is my 'familar'
I should not seek out a hot, teenage female vampire hunter to start a torrid relationship with. Even if Guadalupe is a Hellmouth.
When talking about/to my Sheriff Johnny Walker I will not make "Johnny Walker, Texas Ranger" cracks.
-Nor ask about his label color
-Nor quote Leonard Cohen to him
-Nor suggest his penchant for jumping out of planes means he should change his name to Johnny Falling or Johnny Jumper
Others do not find it funny when I hear about Cade returning and begin to sing "My Boyfriend's Back"
Having sex on Elysium, even in Atlantic City, undermines my reputation as an Elder.
-So does doing lines of coke off the tables
-So does letting people know my MP3 player is playing Britney Spears
-So does making any D&D, Hogwarts, or cartoon references
-So does mentioning Naked Video Game Night
The Imperial March is overdone. It should not be played when the Trust, Suren-Gal, a Cardinal, or any Mekhet Elder enters a room. Instead, play "I'm an Asshole" by Dennis Leary.
It is not required that I say "Bamf" when teleported by a Khaibit
Calling Lord Cornell Snidely Whiplash will only annoy him.
Calling Tiernan Callaghan Cardinal Tightpants will only annoy him.
Calling Mackenzie 'Mack the Knife' is not funny to anyone else
Will not refer to Akuete as Mommy
Will not call Grandsire Grandpappy
Will not point out to the Lancea Sanctum the Voudon Acolytes worship the same god
-Will not point this out to Acolytes either
Will not tell non-occult types that the Spider Spirit they are dealing with is named Shelob
Will not use Alita as a secret weapon against Elders I think need a better sense of humor
-Or on Family members who need to lighten up.
Will not use Text Messaging to get around Atlantic City’s no talking rule
Will not try to create a whomping willow mandragora
Will not replace Theban Sorcery components with Dark Rich Folgers Crystals
Will stop looking at my rings and giggling and saying “I see Dead People”
When given a gold ring by a member of my city I will NOT quote Galadrial. Even if I think I could do a better job with less of a Special Effects budget
Will not try to convince others that hellhounds, Chupacabra or flying lizards are good familars
->Will not try to claim any vampire on a leash as a familiar
-> Will not have Familars
Will not make my books required reading for my students or city
Will not accidently on purpose use a vampire’s real name in my books
Will not use my books to write hot Aroex/Tiernan slash.
-Will not write Mackenzie/Sophia slash
-Will not write Mackenzie/Akuete slash
-Nor Starley/Rhynn slash
-No slash in general
I will not call Libery Stone Der Fuhrer or Comrade or reference Stalin
I will not refer to Luxcorps, and thus Grace, as Big Brother
Will not call either of them “Invictus in Training”
I will not convince others that it is an old Persian hospitality tradition to sleep with the host
-Even if they are hot and staying in my haven
I will not encourage Chorus members to have their head set on fire to show that even the heathens in the Lancea Sanctum understand Pain Teaches.
I will not refer to the Lancea Sanctum as heathens, heretics, infidels, or satanists.
-I will not argue that turn about is fair play.
--Even if they are.
I will not ask the Sanctified if they can make a +5 holy avenger.
I will not ask the Sanctified if they can turn Undead.
I will not introduce my right hand Acolyte to a Cardinal's Paladin as my "Half Elven Ranger" nor allow him to say he has a +5 against Vampires as a chosen enemy.
The Crone did not write the Kama Sutra and thus it is not part of the Liturgy
I will not use 'sex magic' as a pitch to convert others to the Circle of the Crone
I will not convince the tree huggers in my covenant to hug the Black Oak mandragora. Especially if we haven't fed it in a while.
I will not use another Acolyte's tarot cards to play Cripple Mr. Onion
I am not to sign messages to my praxis as "Vetinari, Tyrant"
-Even if he is a personal role model
Giving people regencies over Show Low, Nowhere, Tombstone, or Yuma are not proper rewards.
I should not seriously consider the suggestion to become Imperial Prince of Arizona. Nor Empress of the West. Nor Queen of the World.
I will stop telling Acolytes and Choristers that they could rise in esteem faster if they brought me the head of: Any Morbus, Cardinals, Silver Ravenwolf, Jack Chick, any Popes, or anyone named Vecna.
I will not tell Chorus members to call Akuete Nanny Ogg. Nor claim the correct pronunciation of her name is 'Esme'
The great secret to my Cruac is not 'Headology'
I will not offer to summon a real demon to make a point to younger Acolytes or 'demon worshippers' who are merely worshipping abyssal entities.
I will not encourage any male to compliment Amrit on her ass or rack or ask what she is wearing under the Sari.
While funny, it is not correct to respond to queries about apostates with "Kill them all. God will sort them out."
I will not get people drunk, tattoo the Dark Mark on them, then announce they have joined the covenant.
I will not refer to non-Acolytes as 'Muggles'
I will not lock two male Invictus into rooms to see if 'hot man sex' occurs.
I will not refer to the Invictus Fealty chain as a 'well organize dom/sub gentleman's club."
I will not lock two carthians into a room with a plexiglass ceiling and then have tickets sold for pit fighting.
Vivian's real name is not Felix Unger.
It is improper to call Lord Savage Edward, Eddie, Eddie the Butch, Snookums, or hotstuff in public.
I will not give gangrel gifts of rawhide bones, catnip, or pet chow
I will not advise in a concerned tone that perhaps Ventrue of my aquaintence should go speak with a shrink.
It is not appropriate to tell people that a gangrel in animal form is my 'familar'
I should not seek out a hot, teenage female vampire hunter to start a torrid relationship with. Even if Guadalupe is a Hellmouth.
When talking about/to my Sheriff Johnny Walker I will not make "Johnny Walker, Texas Ranger" cracks.
-Nor ask about his label color
-Nor quote Leonard Cohen to him
-Nor suggest his penchant for jumping out of planes means he should change his name to Johnny Falling or Johnny Jumper
Others do not find it funny when I hear about Cade returning and begin to sing "My Boyfriend's Back"
Having sex on Elysium, even in Atlantic City, undermines my reputation as an Elder.
-So does doing lines of coke off the tables
-So does letting people know my MP3 player is playing Britney Spears
-So does making any D&D, Hogwarts, or cartoon references
-So does mentioning Naked Video Game Night
The Imperial March is overdone. It should not be played when the Trust, Suren-Gal, a Cardinal, or any Mekhet Elder enters a room. Instead, play "I'm an Asshole" by Dennis Leary.
It is not required that I say "Bamf" when teleported by a Khaibit
Calling Lord Cornell Snidely Whiplash will only annoy him.
Calling Tiernan Callaghan Cardinal Tightpants will only annoy him.
Calling Mackenzie 'Mack the Knife' is not funny to anyone else
Will not refer to Akuete as Mommy
Will not call Grandsire Grandpappy
Will not point out to the Lancea Sanctum the Voudon Acolytes worship the same god
-Will not point this out to Acolytes either
Will not tell non-occult types that the Spider Spirit they are dealing with is named Shelob
Will not use Alita as a secret weapon against Elders I think need a better sense of humor
-Or on Family members who need to lighten up.
Will not use Text Messaging to get around Atlantic City’s no talking rule
Will not try to create a whomping willow mandragora
Will not replace Theban Sorcery components with Dark Rich Folgers Crystals
Will stop looking at my rings and giggling and saying “I see Dead People”
When given a gold ring by a member of my city I will NOT quote Galadrial. Even if I think I could do a better job with less of a Special Effects budget
Will not try to convince others that hellhounds, Chupacabra or flying lizards are good familars
->Will not try to claim any vampire on a leash as a familiar
-> Will not have Familars
Will not make my books required reading for my students or city
Will not accidently on purpose use a vampire’s real name in my books
Will not use my books to write hot Aroex/Tiernan slash.
-Will not write Mackenzie/Sophia slash
-Will not write Mackenzie/Akuete slash
-Nor Starley/Rhynn slash
-No slash in general
I will not call Libery Stone Der Fuhrer or Comrade or reference Stalin
I will not refer to Luxcorps, and thus Grace, as Big Brother
Will not call either of them “Invictus in Training”
I will not convince others that it is an old Persian hospitality tradition to sleep with the host
-Even if they are hot and staying in my haven