Thoughts On Life or something.
HI I'm SNOWED IN. lolo. (with like, half a foot of snow it's arizona and my car is tiny shh). So here is something I've been thinking about the past few days and I desire to share. Also, this is pre-emptively long and not proof read. I an notorious for making typos, especially of the is/isn't variety. READ IN CONTEXT, be understanding. And I will proof read when I get home.
This is... okay it's advice! I PRE-EMPTIVELY APOLOGIZE BEING ARROGANT ENOUGH TO THINK I HAVE ANYTHING USEFUL TO SAY TO ANYONE but. Mm. I do! And these are just my thoughts regarding a lot of common issues I see with players. Please take it with a grain of salt! I mean nothing but happiness and hope for everyone. This isn't YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG these are just thoughts, opinions, and hopefully helpful tips I believe in due to my minimal and unexciting amount of life experience. But... still things I've noticed and changed about myself over the years. WHICH IS REALLY BROAD this is not a guide to life just some thoughts that hopefully might make YOUR ROLEPLAY EXPERIENCE I HAPPIER ONE.
POINT THE FIRST: Have some self confidence! There is a difference between humility and self deprecation. I notice a great deal of both in this RP. One is fine! One is AWESOME. Because there is also a difference between pride and self confidence. And both lines are precarious ones to walk. But... the one I notice FAR more in camp (and in my corner of INTERNET LIFE) is the former.
Being humble is great. Everyone likes humility. But... the difference between the two, I believe, is that one implies that don't think you're All That and are cool with it, and the other is an effort to put yourself down. Whether you put yourself down because you are afraid that by rising above others you will piss them off, or because you genuinely don't like yourself, I think it all adds up to the same thing. I don't think ANYONE wants to be unhappy. I don't think ANYONE wants to think poorly of themselves. But when you often and publicly seek to remind not just others but yourself of your various failings they are always right in front of you. It's hard to believe in yourself when you constantly put all the ways you can't possibly be a great person out there for everyone to see. I say this from personal advice of spending a year or two telling people in detail why I was a horrible writer, only to find that when I showed them my (horrible!) writing all they could see was how horrible it was. And I had no one to blame but myself. If you want my honest opinion, I'm pretty 'ehn' on my own writing, I see the flaws, I know where I need to improve, I have a fabulous creative writing instructor who points these things out to me in a nice and reasonable manner. But if I were to tell all of you all the time what those flaws are, you would look for them everytime you read anything I wrote (which, is not often, but this is an example!). This applies in roleplay and life in general, I believe. No, you aren't perfect, you aren't and you never will be and nor will anyone else. It's okay to have flaws! It's excellent to want to improve of them. But it's wholly unnecessary to make sure you and everyone else around you is always aware of them.
Acknowledge them, see them, ask yourself why they are there, what you can DO about it, perhaps seek advice from friends. Better yourself! But don't hurt yourself by never letting yourself or anyone else see past your flaws. You have lots of wonderful things about you too.
Which brings me to!
POINT THE SECOND: It's okay to be praised! This one is a LITTLE HARDER since I think there is this natural thought that if someone complements you and you DON'T push that complement away it means you agree! But! "Wow you are SO AWESOME" "y thank you!" is not the same as "Wow you are SO AWESOME!" "Omg you have no idea." And okay. The second one is something I would say factitiously. BUT. My point is. It's... okay to accept a complement. It's okay to be thought well of. And not EVERYONE DOES THIS but I do see it quite a bit, not just in game but again in the intranets in general.
We aren't a society, I think, that complements off handedly. If we say it we probably really mean it (unless we're being lying manipulative bitchwhores BUT THAT'S A DIFFERENT THING). So if it's anything from "I like your hair" to "You are the most amazing player of (XXXX) that I have ever seen!" the person is probably being honest. You may not agree! You may hate your hair and frequently question your ability to play character (XXXX) but it's alright to let other people like it. It's alright to let someone make you feel good about yourself. There are a million and seven things in life waiting to stab your self confidence in its face, from looks to money to boyfriends to society in general thinking we are failures for liking anime and manga at our age and spending too much damn time on the computer. Don't pass up the chance to have a good feeling when someone presents it to you.
And, when someone gives you a good feeling? Thank them. It's only polite.
POINT THE THIRD: You can't give offense, only take it! Okay that is a corny old saying I don't think is entirely true. There are PLENTY OF PEOPLE OUT THERE who, when stirred into the right amount of ire, whether it be blinding fury or self righteous anger, will do their damned best to piss you off and hurt you and cause offense. And it can take an either blindingly positive attitude on life, a goddamn mountain of self confidence, or skin like stone to withstand that without taking offense. Most of us will never achieve these things and will have to suck it up and periodically be offended in life. But we can be a offended A HELL OF A LOT LESS if you keep in mind the only thing you can control is your perception.
Which, I believe, is true. You can argue with people, you can write them essays, underscore facts, present scenarios and be as polite and persistent as possible but you cannot make them understand, agree with, or care about your opinion. This applies, I think, in any form of criticism you may receive online, from how that thread last night turned out to OMG YOU ARE WEEABOO BITCH or whatever they are calling annoying fans these days. You can try your best to be thorough in your explanation, to approach something from every possible angle. You can be verbose as all FUCK in effort to try to communicate whatever to whoever (re: Aviy). But you cannot make them understand. This isn't just the internet. This is humanity in general.
Miscommunication, I think, causes a large majority of problems everywhere. So detailed communication (in my very obvious opinion) is the best way to avoid that. Being as honest and thorough as possible. But in the end there are no guarantees, you can't work everything out, and periodically you will not have the time or interest or will power to try.
In which case? At least realize that you can never control their perception, just yours. Additionally, no one is happy when you're angry. Well, perhaps some people get a little high on it. But most? No. And most importantly? You are not happy when you are angry. It's a poor way to punish others because chances are it stresses you out far more than them. For your own sake, control your perception. Choose to view things in the best possible light, give people the benefit of the doubt, give yourself the benefit of the doubt. Understand some you can never please and be satisfied with pleasing yourself, keep in mind that sometimes people have a point and maybe you are bullshitting yourself and be open to change, because lying to yourself isn't good for you either. And most importantly, be mellow. Don't allow yourself to think the world is out to get you, don't become sure people hate you when they haven't come up to your face and said "I hate you". Paranoia has its advantages, like, not living under a social rock like Aviy. But happiness and security are not among them. And if someone DOES do something you feel was just wrong? Note it, it's okay to not AGREE with people, just don't get your panties in a twist if you don't have to.
I do think anger CAN be liberating, and sometimes you just have to scream it all out. Hell I know I have. But what I'm talking about is not so much repressing your anger is gradually learning to shift the way you look at things so they no longer make you angry. And you may think it's impossible but it really quite IS. Your mind is much like the rest of your body, and you can train and control it and change it. You CAN learn to not jump to negative conclusions, not get defensive every time something might possibly be negative about you is said, and not judge or worry deeply about the opinions or others when they haven't been shoved right up in your face.
But, in the event that it is truly a time that you can't just zen your way out of it?
POINT THE FOURTH: Deal with your issues! I think gradually you will get to know yourself, your situation, and what needs to be dealt with and what will go away on it's own. I do believe most storms will pass, and that given time it just honestly won't be a real issue anymore. As an example, I rarely have fights with my family at all, but I did a few years ago have a rather bad one with my mother over the legality of homosexual marriage. There was crying and raring and it SUCKED because I never fight with my mom and so it's all very traumatizing for me. We never resolved that, we never went back to it, the only time we ever mentioned it again was to agree not to talk about it. And. I'm fine with that. I would LIKE my mom to agree with me, but many years of living with my mother and watching her shift has taught me that if I leave it alone, she will not have forgotten my stance on things and what I said and perhaps five years down the line will have her own experiences and perceptions change enough that she agrees with me. None-the-less, for a little while this was a HUGE AND IMPORTANT THING TO ME. But left alone I genuinely believe it will work itself out.
But not all issues do. And I'm not talking deep political or religious arguments here. I'm talking having a fight with player X over event Y, both parties are pissy, probably only see it from their own point of view and don't feel like they have had a chance to properly explain why THEY are right and are sure if they can only say THEIR side the other party will surely agree. Or if they don't they're just a bitch.
Or hell, someone said something that hurt you! Or did something you didn't like. We get lots of issues in lots of places. Little things we tell ourselves are stupid that none-the-less chew away at our soul and make it hard to interact the same with that person again. But we just sit on it, instead of dealing with it, because we don't want to make a big deal out of it. Or are just scared of making them angry, or them hurting us more. But... it pretty much always hurts worse in the long run. You can lose friendships like that, lose people you used to like to play with, lose fun times to be had for all because something is always there, gnawing, and you just aren't all that comfortable with it.
So. Deal with it. Deal with it NICELY. Yelling at people, accusing them, throwing it all in their face is not dealing. It's perfectly alright to go "Hey this thing happened and I want to work it out so it doesn't bother me anymore so LET'S JUST TALK until it's all good again". Which is. Pretty much how I always handle things since I'm insanely direct. But you know? I think people appreciate honesty. Or that's what I tell myself to keep living life the way I do. But it rarely comes back to bite me so I think I'm not too wrong there.
Similarly. Assuming a neutral or even nice tone will not cover it up if what you are basically saying is "This is all your fault". People are not blind, they can tell. Cruelty is not simply swearing and anger can be represented with sweet words and your side of the issue is not the only side. If you truly want something to WORK OUT you need to be open to understanding others. This is part of shifting your perception. Sometimes we have certain ideas we just can't let go of (mine, ironically, tends to be around these things I'm saying right here!) but... remember how MUCH you have grown in life, how many things you used to never understand but do, how many things you've learned to love or hate or just not be as passionate about anymore. We're all young, in ten years maybe I will think what I've written here is a bunch of horse shit. Everyone is at a different place in life, understanding different things, caring about different things. Understand that in regards to any problem. Sometimes, you have to admit you were wrong, other times you just have to understand that different things hold different levels of importance to you, and be okay with that, work with it, and move on. Friendships are worth this guys, and it isn't a bad way to move through most of life's dealings as well. I think.
And finally!
POINT THE LAST: Happiness isn't a gift, it's an accomplishment. I know tragically few people who seem to be honestly happy. This also isn't just CFUD but the internets and life in general. I see a lot of people making their way, hanging on for this retirement benefit or keeping their job because they have bills to pay, dating people they don't love because they are afraid to be alone, ending up in marriages with children when they never understood what it was to commit to someone for life. This isn't to say these people are miserable all the time. They laugh, they have fun, they enjoy themselves, they have friends. But having some happiness and BEING HAPPY are vastly, vastly different things.
I'm not going to tell you what is worth what in life. That's up to you. But to me the only real purpose is to relish and love what we have. We're all going to die, tomorrow or at age 114 in bed surrounded by great grand kids. But I would hate to think that after 114 years you would look back and think "man, I was never happy with myself". Some people find happiness in accomplishment, in DOING, in leaving their mark on society and history. I... don't. I know I don't because I've never accomplished anything, I'm putting off work at this point to write this (the plow came through and cleared the roads about fifteen minutes ago). I've never had a really great IRL friend. I've never been on an amazing adventure. I've never done anything amazing with the ideas I love. I would LIKE to accomplish many wonderful things and be even happier and more successful. But right now I'm 21 and working for 8 dollars an hour, I live with my mom, I dropped out of highschool, have a GED, no college degree, and didn't finish NaNoWriMo or any of the fics I owe various people. A great many people would call me a failure and I couldn't completely blame them.
But I'm happy. I'm happy to say I'm happy. I hope one day to be HAPPIER STILL but. I'm happy. Right here right now with all of my flaws and un-success.
Happiness is not a timeline. It is not an event. It is not a person. I think the last one has the BEST CHANCE of helping you find happiness! Because people effect each other. But there is no magic switch in life that will make everything better. I don't believe it is an age, or a year, or moving away from your parents or getting that job you've always dreamed of. These things can perhaps make it EASIER to find. But you are never going to magically lose all the things that stress you out. If it's not family it's bills, if it's not work it's weight, if it's not looks it's boys (or, girls!). Life is going to perpetually full of concerns, obstacles, and heartache.
I believe happiness is just a perception. Again, you can take offense or leave it? You can be happy about something or not. Not, to say, you got a funeral and are thrilled. But sadness is it's own happiness. Appreciate what there is to life. Love yourself, you're the only you. See your virtues as well as your flaws, and let other people see them too. Believe in yourself, because there won't always be someone there to believe in you. Keep your priorities in mind. Being happy, grateful, and excited should always come before being angry, vengeful, or apathetic.
Lots of people in the world have everything they should ever want and aren't happy with it. Many amazing people have far less than we could imagine and love every inch of their life. It's not a matter of being grateful for what you have. Fuck what you have. Just be happy anyway. This is your only life, and only you can choose to enjoy it.
This is... okay it's advice! I PRE-EMPTIVELY APOLOGIZE BEING ARROGANT ENOUGH TO THINK I HAVE ANYTHING USEFUL TO SAY TO ANYONE but. Mm. I do! And these are just my thoughts regarding a lot of common issues I see with players. Please take it with a grain of salt! I mean nothing but happiness and hope for everyone. This isn't YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG these are just thoughts, opinions, and hopefully helpful tips I believe in due to my minimal and unexciting amount of life experience. But... still things I've noticed and changed about myself over the years. WHICH IS REALLY BROAD this is not a guide to life just some thoughts that hopefully might make YOUR ROLEPLAY EXPERIENCE I HAPPIER ONE.
POINT THE FIRST: Have some self confidence! There is a difference between humility and self deprecation. I notice a great deal of both in this RP. One is fine! One is AWESOME. Because there is also a difference between pride and self confidence. And both lines are precarious ones to walk. But... the one I notice FAR more in camp (and in my corner of INTERNET LIFE) is the former.
Being humble is great. Everyone likes humility. But... the difference between the two, I believe, is that one implies that don't think you're All That and are cool with it, and the other is an effort to put yourself down. Whether you put yourself down because you are afraid that by rising above others you will piss them off, or because you genuinely don't like yourself, I think it all adds up to the same thing. I don't think ANYONE wants to be unhappy. I don't think ANYONE wants to think poorly of themselves. But when you often and publicly seek to remind not just others but yourself of your various failings they are always right in front of you. It's hard to believe in yourself when you constantly put all the ways you can't possibly be a great person out there for everyone to see. I say this from personal advice of spending a year or two telling people in detail why I was a horrible writer, only to find that when I showed them my (horrible!) writing all they could see was how horrible it was. And I had no one to blame but myself. If you want my honest opinion, I'm pretty 'ehn' on my own writing, I see the flaws, I know where I need to improve, I have a fabulous creative writing instructor who points these things out to me in a nice and reasonable manner. But if I were to tell all of you all the time what those flaws are, you would look for them everytime you read anything I wrote (which, is not often, but this is an example!). This applies in roleplay and life in general, I believe. No, you aren't perfect, you aren't and you never will be and nor will anyone else. It's okay to have flaws! It's excellent to want to improve of them. But it's wholly unnecessary to make sure you and everyone else around you is always aware of them.
Acknowledge them, see them, ask yourself why they are there, what you can DO about it, perhaps seek advice from friends. Better yourself! But don't hurt yourself by never letting yourself or anyone else see past your flaws. You have lots of wonderful things about you too.
Which brings me to!
POINT THE SECOND: It's okay to be praised! This one is a LITTLE HARDER since I think there is this natural thought that if someone complements you and you DON'T push that complement away it means you agree! But! "Wow you are SO AWESOME" "y thank you!" is not the same as "Wow you are SO AWESOME!" "Omg you have no idea." And okay. The second one is something I would say factitiously. BUT. My point is. It's... okay to accept a complement. It's okay to be thought well of. And not EVERYONE DOES THIS but I do see it quite a bit, not just in game but again in the intranets in general.
We aren't a society, I think, that complements off handedly. If we say it we probably really mean it (unless we're being lying manipulative bitchwhores BUT THAT'S A DIFFERENT THING). So if it's anything from "I like your hair" to "You are the most amazing player of (XXXX) that I have ever seen!" the person is probably being honest. You may not agree! You may hate your hair and frequently question your ability to play character (XXXX) but it's alright to let other people like it. It's alright to let someone make you feel good about yourself. There are a million and seven things in life waiting to stab your self confidence in its face, from looks to money to boyfriends to society in general thinking we are failures for liking anime and manga at our age and spending too much damn time on the computer. Don't pass up the chance to have a good feeling when someone presents it to you.
And, when someone gives you a good feeling? Thank them. It's only polite.
POINT THE THIRD: You can't give offense, only take it! Okay that is a corny old saying I don't think is entirely true. There are PLENTY OF PEOPLE OUT THERE who, when stirred into the right amount of ire, whether it be blinding fury or self righteous anger, will do their damned best to piss you off and hurt you and cause offense. And it can take an either blindingly positive attitude on life, a goddamn mountain of self confidence, or skin like stone to withstand that without taking offense. Most of us will never achieve these things and will have to suck it up and periodically be offended in life. But we can be a offended A HELL OF A LOT LESS if you keep in mind the only thing you can control is your perception.
Which, I believe, is true. You can argue with people, you can write them essays, underscore facts, present scenarios and be as polite and persistent as possible but you cannot make them understand, agree with, or care about your opinion. This applies, I think, in any form of criticism you may receive online, from how that thread last night turned out to OMG YOU ARE WEEABOO BITCH or whatever they are calling annoying fans these days. You can try your best to be thorough in your explanation, to approach something from every possible angle. You can be verbose as all FUCK in effort to try to communicate whatever to whoever (re: Aviy). But you cannot make them understand. This isn't just the internet. This is humanity in general.
Miscommunication, I think, causes a large majority of problems everywhere. So detailed communication (in my very obvious opinion) is the best way to avoid that. Being as honest and thorough as possible. But in the end there are no guarantees, you can't work everything out, and periodically you will not have the time or interest or will power to try.
In which case? At least realize that you can never control their perception, just yours. Additionally, no one is happy when you're angry. Well, perhaps some people get a little high on it. But most? No. And most importantly? You are not happy when you are angry. It's a poor way to punish others because chances are it stresses you out far more than them. For your own sake, control your perception. Choose to view things in the best possible light, give people the benefit of the doubt, give yourself the benefit of the doubt. Understand some you can never please and be satisfied with pleasing yourself, keep in mind that sometimes people have a point and maybe you are bullshitting yourself and be open to change, because lying to yourself isn't good for you either. And most importantly, be mellow. Don't allow yourself to think the world is out to get you, don't become sure people hate you when they haven't come up to your face and said "I hate you". Paranoia has its advantages, like, not living under a social rock like Aviy. But happiness and security are not among them. And if someone DOES do something you feel was just wrong? Note it, it's okay to not AGREE with people, just don't get your panties in a twist if you don't have to.
I do think anger CAN be liberating, and sometimes you just have to scream it all out. Hell I know I have. But what I'm talking about is not so much repressing your anger is gradually learning to shift the way you look at things so they no longer make you angry. And you may think it's impossible but it really quite IS. Your mind is much like the rest of your body, and you can train and control it and change it. You CAN learn to not jump to negative conclusions, not get defensive every time something might possibly be negative about you is said, and not judge or worry deeply about the opinions or others when they haven't been shoved right up in your face.
But, in the event that it is truly a time that you can't just zen your way out of it?
POINT THE FOURTH: Deal with your issues! I think gradually you will get to know yourself, your situation, and what needs to be dealt with and what will go away on it's own. I do believe most storms will pass, and that given time it just honestly won't be a real issue anymore. As an example, I rarely have fights with my family at all, but I did a few years ago have a rather bad one with my mother over the legality of homosexual marriage. There was crying and raring and it SUCKED because I never fight with my mom and so it's all very traumatizing for me. We never resolved that, we never went back to it, the only time we ever mentioned it again was to agree not to talk about it. And. I'm fine with that. I would LIKE my mom to agree with me, but many years of living with my mother and watching her shift has taught me that if I leave it alone, she will not have forgotten my stance on things and what I said and perhaps five years down the line will have her own experiences and perceptions change enough that she agrees with me. None-the-less, for a little while this was a HUGE AND IMPORTANT THING TO ME. But left alone I genuinely believe it will work itself out.
But not all issues do. And I'm not talking deep political or religious arguments here. I'm talking having a fight with player X over event Y, both parties are pissy, probably only see it from their own point of view and don't feel like they have had a chance to properly explain why THEY are right and are sure if they can only say THEIR side the other party will surely agree. Or if they don't they're just a bitch.
Or hell, someone said something that hurt you! Or did something you didn't like. We get lots of issues in lots of places. Little things we tell ourselves are stupid that none-the-less chew away at our soul and make it hard to interact the same with that person again. But we just sit on it, instead of dealing with it, because we don't want to make a big deal out of it. Or are just scared of making them angry, or them hurting us more. But... it pretty much always hurts worse in the long run. You can lose friendships like that, lose people you used to like to play with, lose fun times to be had for all because something is always there, gnawing, and you just aren't all that comfortable with it.
So. Deal with it. Deal with it NICELY. Yelling at people, accusing them, throwing it all in their face is not dealing. It's perfectly alright to go "Hey this thing happened and I want to work it out so it doesn't bother me anymore so LET'S JUST TALK until it's all good again". Which is. Pretty much how I always handle things since I'm insanely direct. But you know? I think people appreciate honesty. Or that's what I tell myself to keep living life the way I do. But it rarely comes back to bite me so I think I'm not too wrong there.
Similarly. Assuming a neutral or even nice tone will not cover it up if what you are basically saying is "This is all your fault". People are not blind, they can tell. Cruelty is not simply swearing and anger can be represented with sweet words and your side of the issue is not the only side. If you truly want something to WORK OUT you need to be open to understanding others. This is part of shifting your perception. Sometimes we have certain ideas we just can't let go of (mine, ironically, tends to be around these things I'm saying right here!) but... remember how MUCH you have grown in life, how many things you used to never understand but do, how many things you've learned to love or hate or just not be as passionate about anymore. We're all young, in ten years maybe I will think what I've written here is a bunch of horse shit. Everyone is at a different place in life, understanding different things, caring about different things. Understand that in regards to any problem. Sometimes, you have to admit you were wrong, other times you just have to understand that different things hold different levels of importance to you, and be okay with that, work with it, and move on. Friendships are worth this guys, and it isn't a bad way to move through most of life's dealings as well. I think.
And finally!
POINT THE LAST: Happiness isn't a gift, it's an accomplishment. I know tragically few people who seem to be honestly happy. This also isn't just CFUD but the internets and life in general. I see a lot of people making their way, hanging on for this retirement benefit or keeping their job because they have bills to pay, dating people they don't love because they are afraid to be alone, ending up in marriages with children when they never understood what it was to commit to someone for life. This isn't to say these people are miserable all the time. They laugh, they have fun, they enjoy themselves, they have friends. But having some happiness and BEING HAPPY are vastly, vastly different things.
I'm not going to tell you what is worth what in life. That's up to you. But to me the only real purpose is to relish and love what we have. We're all going to die, tomorrow or at age 114 in bed surrounded by great grand kids. But I would hate to think that after 114 years you would look back and think "man, I was never happy with myself". Some people find happiness in accomplishment, in DOING, in leaving their mark on society and history. I... don't. I know I don't because I've never accomplished anything, I'm putting off work at this point to write this (the plow came through and cleared the roads about fifteen minutes ago). I've never had a really great IRL friend. I've never been on an amazing adventure. I've never done anything amazing with the ideas I love. I would LIKE to accomplish many wonderful things and be even happier and more successful. But right now I'm 21 and working for 8 dollars an hour, I live with my mom, I dropped out of highschool, have a GED, no college degree, and didn't finish NaNoWriMo or any of the fics I owe various people. A great many people would call me a failure and I couldn't completely blame them.
But I'm happy. I'm happy to say I'm happy. I hope one day to be HAPPIER STILL but. I'm happy. Right here right now with all of my flaws and un-success.
Happiness is not a timeline. It is not an event. It is not a person. I think the last one has the BEST CHANCE of helping you find happiness! Because people effect each other. But there is no magic switch in life that will make everything better. I don't believe it is an age, or a year, or moving away from your parents or getting that job you've always dreamed of. These things can perhaps make it EASIER to find. But you are never going to magically lose all the things that stress you out. If it's not family it's bills, if it's not work it's weight, if it's not looks it's boys (or, girls!). Life is going to perpetually full of concerns, obstacles, and heartache.
I believe happiness is just a perception. Again, you can take offense or leave it? You can be happy about something or not. Not, to say, you got a funeral and are thrilled. But sadness is it's own happiness. Appreciate what there is to life. Love yourself, you're the only you. See your virtues as well as your flaws, and let other people see them too. Believe in yourself, because there won't always be someone there to believe in you. Keep your priorities in mind. Being happy, grateful, and excited should always come before being angry, vengeful, or apathetic.
Lots of people in the world have everything they should ever want and aren't happy with it. Many amazing people have far less than we could imagine and love every inch of their life. It's not a matter of being grateful for what you have. Fuck what you have. Just be happy anyway. This is your only life, and only you can choose to enjoy it.