End of Canon Essay
S-So, Trigun Maximum has ended.
Yes, you heard me. That canon that, if you are like me, you were first introduced to in your early teens and has been going on for what feels like most of your life, has ended.
It hasn't quite SETTLED INTO MY MIND YET. But these last few chapters have effected my view on Vash, so I'm just going to. ...ramble about that here.
First of all, I haven't SEEN the final chapter yet, but I've read a coherent summary for it and I don't think seeing it will make any significant changes on how I view Vash, which is the point of this.
To cover briefly what HAPPENS. Vash chooses to save Knives life instead of kill him. This... honestly surprised me. We do see moments in canon to suggest that Vash HATES Knives, that he fully intends to kill him. Hell, he says outright that he can't forgive Knives. And KNIVES HAS DONE ALOT, OKAY. If the fact that he's slaughtered hundreds of millions of humans isn't enough, he's personally shredded Vash's soul, by killing Rem, by killing a town for his sake, by forcing him to use his Angel Arm not once, but twice, the first time resulting in the death of a hundred thousand people that Vash loved. Knives has done a lot to hurt Vash and I honestly believed Vash would kill him.
The fact that Vash had the moment, that Knives wanted him to take it and chose to instead save Knives's life and use the last of his life energy to get him to safety kind of... solidified everything Vash is to me. I love him more than ever for that. It makes the final, obvious punch that Vash's love and forgiveness really is superhuman. It's not ignorant, it's not naive or hopeless. Vash NEVER denies that Knives is a bad person, never argues that humans can be horrible, he just persists in believing in them inspite of this. No. Matter. What.
Incidentally, Vash sprouts wings to fly Knives to safety. So uh. Another character who can fly if they want. GG Nightow.
But then Vash runs out of power and one wing fades. Knives (who is also nearly dead) produces a wing and TOGETHER THEY FLY OFF INTO THE SUNSET.
After that starts the new issue, which I haven't seen. I'm... disappointed in it because apparently Knives and Vash don't TALK. AT ALL. And fuck I've been waiting the ENTIRE SERIES for a real conversation between them. But... Knives uses the last of his life force to give to Vash so that Vash can live. Knives disappears.
...I really wanted Vash to die. Infact I've been playing him with the assumption that he does die, because frankly, there is no character who deserves a glorious death more than Vash. Furthermore, I was under the impression that while Vash can be HAPPY, a happy life can't really touch him the way it can others. He's a hundred and fifty years old. His life has been incredibly shitty, he expresses, more than once, a desire to rest, to be done.
After that there is a ten year skip. Vash's hair remains black instead of blond (which is, IMO, waaaay hotter) it also means that if he ever uses his PLANT powers again he will die. But without Knives or the Gung-Ho Guns to threaten, that's not likely to happen soon. Vash lived the first one hundred and fifty years of his life without ever using his abilities willingly. Vash goes back to his normal life, being wanted, saving lives, being goofy and fun and capable and loving people.
So what's changed for me?
Well. I think I've seen Vash as being too cut off. He DOES distance people, this is undeniable. Infact he gets lectured in volume twelve for being a jerk who tries to do everything on his own and when confronted with he just goes "Please stop! You'll only confuse me!" And I never DOUBTED that Vash loves people, genuinely. I think he's just... more willing to be close to them than I realized. He loves people and WANTS to be loved and if he's cut off it's because he lives in a world that isn't ready for his brand of caring. And also because he IS willing to leave them, is willing to die, or move on or let go for their sake. But that's not necessarily the same as not caring as much in the first place. Vash has, I think, a very careful balance which is no balance at all. He loves as much as he can, helps as much as he can, and the only thing he holds back from is them loving him and that's just because he doesn't want to hurt them when he inevitably leaves. But he doesn't hold back for his own sake at all.
HOWEVER. He's still Vash and he can't care about one person more than another. Which means exclusive relationships are still impossible for him. But I'll be more careful about how he distances himself for people. The key here it's okay for him to care as much as he wants, and it's okay for other's to CARE, they just can't care so much that they would be in any way crippled by his leaving. Because, he always leaves.
As for emo levels... Hm. It's hard to say. The fact that things are finally OVER does... a lot for Vash. But it still doesn't take away the fact that his life has been incredibly shitty, that he his only remaining family is dead for his sake, that he's still wandering, that some people's lives are even worse than his, that there are people out there who kill without thought or regret. He's... happier than he's been in a long time, but he's still got emo. He's just not as sensitive about it now unless you push certain buttons. He'll probably be a little less fake in camp because of this. More honest and more refreshed. While I think a part of Vash really did kind of want to die, he DID promise Meryl to return, which means he didn't intend on dying. And... Well. Vash loves life. He loves helping people. He loves having fun. Nothing can change or take away what has happened for him, but he can deal with it better when he's in a good place, and camp is a good place. So he'll probably emo less and be more open.
As far as Knives on Vash... now that I know Knives is dead, and Vash knows Knives is dead, he'll probably be more willing to talk about him. He's still not going to bring it up, he will always be edgey and vague when talking about himself or his life. He KNOWS his life sucks, he doesn't want to bring you down because of it. He also finds reliving memories physically painful (talking to him about July WILL MAKE HIM CRY) and thus, tries to avoid the bad ones. But he'll tell people who Knives is and give him a very, very vague idea of the things he's done, and an impression that he's dead now, so it's resolved, if nothing else.
He's still not going to volunteer that he's a PLANT. There is a part of Vash that does and always will fear being rejected for not being human, and so he's not going to just go around telling people about it. Additionally he doesn't see it as important, in a way. He KNOWS humans and PLANTs aren't so different. He just... doesn't feel inclined to tell people that and use himself as an example, especially when he's the only PLANT in the area.
As for what I'm going to have to retcon now that the series is over, and where I'm officially taking Vash from?
I'm taking Vash from immediately after his brother gives him enough life force to live, and thus dies. Vash would still be almost dead at this point, but he would know, even if he doesn't see it himself, that Knives is gone, and for his sake. That he won, that his great battle is resolved, that the people from Earth are aware of the people of Gunsmoke and will one day seek to retrieve them again.
It's a good time to zap Vash over to camp and restore him his powers.
His powers ARE restored for... well. One I WOULD LIKE TO USE THEM IN CAMP ONE DAY WITHOUT VASH DYING BECAUSE OF IT. But also? Because while I think the black hair is REALLY HOT and would happily edit my icons to reflect this? The Vash that we all knew and love and grew up with is the blond one. And that's who I apped. And I feel wrong changing that. If camp events happen which cause his hair to start to turn black again, that's one thing. But for now? He stays blond.
As for retconning... there isn't much. I've been playing from the assumption that Vash defeated his brother, WHICH HE DID. Knives did not die at Vash's hands, but it was Vash's empathy which overpowered his brother's hatred, causing the PLANTs which were giving Knives all his power to turn away from him, and thus destroying Knives. Vash is sad that Knives died, but he realizes well... there WERE other options, and that's not the road Vash would have chosen. He would have died there and let Knives live. But he does respect his brother's choice, and will use the gift given to him fully.
I've also been playing with the assumption that Vash would die (IT SEEMED LIKE A SURE THING, OKAY) but since I'm smart I never outright said this. I DID SAY that Vash can't return to Gunsmoke, which is inaccurate at this point. He can. I'm not entirely sure he would, but he might. Humans there still need help, protection, and love. They need someone to be patient with them and care for them. They are still the same people Rem died for and nothing about that has changed, even with Knives gone they are still a danger to each other, and in danger from the elements. BUT. Vash doesn't love the people of Gunsmoke just because Rem died for them. He loves the people at camp too and he wouldn't abandon them easily. However, Gunsmoke is way more dangerous and, given the chance, he probably will go back. He... really has nothing else to do. It's basically what he is.
But he's not angsting over not being there, because he's focusing on doing good here. He isn't dodging bullets or saving lives so much, but he's effecting lives for the better and this is good too.
It's also a nice little happy vacation after all the shit he's been through in the past one hundred and fifty years.
Yes, you heard me. That canon that, if you are like me, you were first introduced to in your early teens and has been going on for what feels like most of your life, has ended.
It hasn't quite SETTLED INTO MY MIND YET. But these last few chapters have effected my view on Vash, so I'm just going to. ...ramble about that here.
First of all, I haven't SEEN the final chapter yet, but I've read a coherent summary for it and I don't think seeing it will make any significant changes on how I view Vash, which is the point of this.
To cover briefly what HAPPENS. Vash chooses to save Knives life instead of kill him. This... honestly surprised me. We do see moments in canon to suggest that Vash HATES Knives, that he fully intends to kill him. Hell, he says outright that he can't forgive Knives. And KNIVES HAS DONE ALOT, OKAY. If the fact that he's slaughtered hundreds of millions of humans isn't enough, he's personally shredded Vash's soul, by killing Rem, by killing a town for his sake, by forcing him to use his Angel Arm not once, but twice, the first time resulting in the death of a hundred thousand people that Vash loved. Knives has done a lot to hurt Vash and I honestly believed Vash would kill him.
The fact that Vash had the moment, that Knives wanted him to take it and chose to instead save Knives's life and use the last of his life energy to get him to safety kind of... solidified everything Vash is to me. I love him more than ever for that. It makes the final, obvious punch that Vash's love and forgiveness really is superhuman. It's not ignorant, it's not naive or hopeless. Vash NEVER denies that Knives is a bad person, never argues that humans can be horrible, he just persists in believing in them inspite of this. No. Matter. What.
Incidentally, Vash sprouts wings to fly Knives to safety. So uh. Another character who can fly if they want. GG Nightow.
But then Vash runs out of power and one wing fades. Knives (who is also nearly dead) produces a wing and TOGETHER THEY FLY OFF INTO THE SUNSET.
After that starts the new issue, which I haven't seen. I'm... disappointed in it because apparently Knives and Vash don't TALK. AT ALL. And fuck I've been waiting the ENTIRE SERIES for a real conversation between them. But... Knives uses the last of his life force to give to Vash so that Vash can live. Knives disappears.
...I really wanted Vash to die. Infact I've been playing him with the assumption that he does die, because frankly, there is no character who deserves a glorious death more than Vash. Furthermore, I was under the impression that while Vash can be HAPPY, a happy life can't really touch him the way it can others. He's a hundred and fifty years old. His life has been incredibly shitty, he expresses, more than once, a desire to rest, to be done.
After that there is a ten year skip. Vash's hair remains black instead of blond (which is, IMO, waaaay hotter) it also means that if he ever uses his PLANT powers again he will die. But without Knives or the Gung-Ho Guns to threaten, that's not likely to happen soon. Vash lived the first one hundred and fifty years of his life without ever using his abilities willingly. Vash goes back to his normal life, being wanted, saving lives, being goofy and fun and capable and loving people.
So what's changed for me?
Well. I think I've seen Vash as being too cut off. He DOES distance people, this is undeniable. Infact he gets lectured in volume twelve for being a jerk who tries to do everything on his own and when confronted with he just goes "Please stop! You'll only confuse me!" And I never DOUBTED that Vash loves people, genuinely. I think he's just... more willing to be close to them than I realized. He loves people and WANTS to be loved and if he's cut off it's because he lives in a world that isn't ready for his brand of caring. And also because he IS willing to leave them, is willing to die, or move on or let go for their sake. But that's not necessarily the same as not caring as much in the first place. Vash has, I think, a very careful balance which is no balance at all. He loves as much as he can, helps as much as he can, and the only thing he holds back from is them loving him and that's just because he doesn't want to hurt them when he inevitably leaves. But he doesn't hold back for his own sake at all.
HOWEVER. He's still Vash and he can't care about one person more than another. Which means exclusive relationships are still impossible for him. But I'll be more careful about how he distances himself for people. The key here it's okay for him to care as much as he wants, and it's okay for other's to CARE, they just can't care so much that they would be in any way crippled by his leaving. Because, he always leaves.
As for emo levels... Hm. It's hard to say. The fact that things are finally OVER does... a lot for Vash. But it still doesn't take away the fact that his life has been incredibly shitty, that he his only remaining family is dead for his sake, that he's still wandering, that some people's lives are even worse than his, that there are people out there who kill without thought or regret. He's... happier than he's been in a long time, but he's still got emo. He's just not as sensitive about it now unless you push certain buttons. He'll probably be a little less fake in camp because of this. More honest and more refreshed. While I think a part of Vash really did kind of want to die, he DID promise Meryl to return, which means he didn't intend on dying. And... Well. Vash loves life. He loves helping people. He loves having fun. Nothing can change or take away what has happened for him, but he can deal with it better when he's in a good place, and camp is a good place. So he'll probably emo less and be more open.
As far as Knives on Vash... now that I know Knives is dead, and Vash knows Knives is dead, he'll probably be more willing to talk about him. He's still not going to bring it up, he will always be edgey and vague when talking about himself or his life. He KNOWS his life sucks, he doesn't want to bring you down because of it. He also finds reliving memories physically painful (talking to him about July WILL MAKE HIM CRY) and thus, tries to avoid the bad ones. But he'll tell people who Knives is and give him a very, very vague idea of the things he's done, and an impression that he's dead now, so it's resolved, if nothing else.
He's still not going to volunteer that he's a PLANT. There is a part of Vash that does and always will fear being rejected for not being human, and so he's not going to just go around telling people about it. Additionally he doesn't see it as important, in a way. He KNOWS humans and PLANTs aren't so different. He just... doesn't feel inclined to tell people that and use himself as an example, especially when he's the only PLANT in the area.
As for what I'm going to have to retcon now that the series is over, and where I'm officially taking Vash from?
I'm taking Vash from immediately after his brother gives him enough life force to live, and thus dies. Vash would still be almost dead at this point, but he would know, even if he doesn't see it himself, that Knives is gone, and for his sake. That he won, that his great battle is resolved, that the people from Earth are aware of the people of Gunsmoke and will one day seek to retrieve them again.
It's a good time to zap Vash over to camp and restore him his powers.
His powers ARE restored for... well. One I WOULD LIKE TO USE THEM IN CAMP ONE DAY WITHOUT VASH DYING BECAUSE OF IT. But also? Because while I think the black hair is REALLY HOT and would happily edit my icons to reflect this? The Vash that we all knew and love and grew up with is the blond one. And that's who I apped. And I feel wrong changing that. If camp events happen which cause his hair to start to turn black again, that's one thing. But for now? He stays blond.
As for retconning... there isn't much. I've been playing from the assumption that Vash defeated his brother, WHICH HE DID. Knives did not die at Vash's hands, but it was Vash's empathy which overpowered his brother's hatred, causing the PLANTs which were giving Knives all his power to turn away from him, and thus destroying Knives. Vash is sad that Knives died, but he realizes well... there WERE other options, and that's not the road Vash would have chosen. He would have died there and let Knives live. But he does respect his brother's choice, and will use the gift given to him fully.
I've also been playing with the assumption that Vash would die (IT SEEMED LIKE A SURE THING, OKAY) but since I'm smart I never outright said this. I DID SAY that Vash can't return to Gunsmoke, which is inaccurate at this point. He can. I'm not entirely sure he would, but he might. Humans there still need help, protection, and love. They need someone to be patient with them and care for them. They are still the same people Rem died for and nothing about that has changed, even with Knives gone they are still a danger to each other, and in danger from the elements. BUT. Vash doesn't love the people of Gunsmoke just because Rem died for them. He loves the people at camp too and he wouldn't abandon them easily. However, Gunsmoke is way more dangerous and, given the chance, he probably will go back. He... really has nothing else to do. It's basically what he is.
But he's not angsting over not being there, because he's focusing on doing good here. He isn't dodging bullets or saving lives so much, but he's effecting lives for the better and this is good too.
It's also a nice little happy vacation after all the shit he's been through in the past one hundred and fifty years.