Epiphany - CSI: NY Don/Mac/Danny - 7 Lies Challange - Prompt 5: I Feel Fine
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“I feel fine,” Danny said as he walked out the door.
“He isn’t fine,” Don said looking at Mac. “I know he’s not fine, because I’m not fine either.”
Mac closed his eyes so he wouldn’t see the hurt emanating from his lover’s beautiful blue eyes.
“Don…” Mac started to say before being interrupted by Don’s sigh.
“Yeah, Mac, I know. It’s just subterfuge. We’re your lovers and you’re just with her to keep that attention off everyone.” Don said tiredly. “But is it really worth it? Is keepin up appearances really worth all this?”
Mac looked down, ashamed that he knew his answer would not be what Don wanted to hear. “If it will keep the vultures away from you and Danny, I will do anything.”
Before either of them could say anything else, Don’s phone rang. He picked it up and talked to dispatch for a few moments. He flipped it closed and grabbed his jacket.
“I gotta go.” Don said. “If that’s how you feel then of course we will respect it. But, you also need to respect how we feel, and that’s something that neither Danny nor I think you’re doin.”
Don walked out and went to work. The call came into Mac a few minutes later and with a sigh he headed out to work as well.
All day long Mac was distracted by what Don had said. He knew his decision to ‘date’ Peyton had upset Don and Danny. They didn’t openly show their disappointment, but they felt it nonetheless.
Since Danny had to actually face it the other night at work, he had been acting differently. The look on his face when Peyton looked at Mac as they walked in the room had said it all.
He had become more subdued and withdrawn. Danny was pulling away from them and they didn’t know how to keep him from slipping away.
Regardless of what he said, Danny was not fine with it. He was hurting and it was all Mac’s fault.
Unable to think about anything else, Mac had let Stella and Don finish investigating the scene. He returned to the lab and spent the day in his office doing paperwork and thinking.
He had to make it right. He had to make both Don and Danny realize that they were the one’s he wanted to be with and not *anyone* else. The more Mac thought about what Don had said, the angrier he got, until when Don arrived home later that night, he snapped.
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Don opened the door and stiffened when it was yanked out of his grasp. Mac’s hand shot out, grabbed him and pulled him inside. The door was slammed shut, and he was shoved up against the wall. He was about to say something when Mac slammed their lips together in a passionate soul searing kiss that lasted until Mac pulled away to get a breath.
“I know exactly what this shit is doing to you and Danny,” he growled harshly. “Do you think that I like to play lovey dovey with her when it takes time away from you and Danny? Yes, we are friends. She knows about you and Danny, but that doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty every damn time I’m out with her. You and Danny are my heart, and if I could do anything else I would.”
Don sighed at the tone in Mac’s voice. He knew that Mac still didn’t understand how he and Danny felt. It would take a major jolt to make Mac really know what they were feeling.
The phone rang.
Before either of them could get to it the answering machine picked up. When the greeting was finished Danny’s voice came through the speaker.
“Hey guys, I wanted to let you know that I am in Montana for the next few days. I thought one of us should be here for Lindsay while she’s going through this hell. I’ll call later tonight when I get settled. Love you both.”
The line went dead.
Don and Mac looked at each other in shock.
“What the fuck?” Don asked as he went and replayed the message.
Mac stood at the door and listened to the message replay, getting angry at the thought that Danny was in Montana with Lindsay instead of here at home in bed where he belonged.
“Son of a bitch!” Mac said softly, vehemently.
His tone of voice caused Don to look at him sharply in concern. “What’s wrong?”
Mac was seething. Danny had decided to get on a plane and go to Montana instead of coming home and sleeping. He didn’t even run it past Mac first, to ask for the time off. He just went.
Danny had gone to Lindsay.
Mac secretly hated the fact that Lindsay had feelings for Danny and it was just recently that she had started to act on them.
Mac didn’t realize that he was talking out loud until he heard Don say, “until you made it public that you were dating Peyton.”
Mac sighed. He finally got it. He finally understood what his lovers were going through when they saw him with Peyton. He finally understood the message he had been sending to other people.
His dating of Peyton told others, who hadn’t picked up on their relationship that it was alright to be interested in his lovers; to hit on them.
The next thing he felt were Don’s arms wrapped around his waist and the younger man’s lips on his neck as he nuzzled the ex-Marine.
“I’m sorry Don.” Mac said softly. “I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to see what you and Danny have been trying to tell me.”
Don smiled and pulled him closer. “At least you see it now. That’s what matters.”
“How do I make it up to Danny?” Mac asked softly.
“Well, first you call him,” Don suggested as he pulled Mac to the couch and guided him down with him. “Then when he gets home you prove to him, in any way you can think of that you love him more than anything in the world. Well besides me.”
“But how?” Mac asked in a rare moment of vulnerability.
“Maybe tell him how his going to Montana to be with Lindsay made you feel and made you realize how he feels.” Don said.
Mac thought for a few minutes and then nodded.
“Yeah.” Mac said. “Yeah I can do that.”
Looking up at Don, he smiled. He pulled out his phone to call Danny and leave a message for his absent lover. “And when I get done with this call I will begin making it up to you too.”
“I feel fine,” Danny said as he walked out the door.
“He isn’t fine,” Don said looking at Mac. “I know he’s not fine, because I’m not fine either.”
Mac closed his eyes so he wouldn’t see the hurt emanating from his lover’s beautiful blue eyes.
“Don…” Mac started to say before being interrupted by Don’s sigh.
“Yeah, Mac, I know. It’s just subterfuge. We’re your lovers and you’re just with her to keep that attention off everyone.” Don said tiredly. “But is it really worth it? Is keepin up appearances really worth all this?”
Mac looked down, ashamed that he knew his answer would not be what Don wanted to hear. “If it will keep the vultures away from you and Danny, I will do anything.”
Before either of them could say anything else, Don’s phone rang. He picked it up and talked to dispatch for a few moments. He flipped it closed and grabbed his jacket.
“I gotta go.” Don said. “If that’s how you feel then of course we will respect it. But, you also need to respect how we feel, and that’s something that neither Danny nor I think you’re doin.”
Don walked out and went to work. The call came into Mac a few minutes later and with a sigh he headed out to work as well.
All day long Mac was distracted by what Don had said. He knew his decision to ‘date’ Peyton had upset Don and Danny. They didn’t openly show their disappointment, but they felt it nonetheless.
Since Danny had to actually face it the other night at work, he had been acting differently. The look on his face when Peyton looked at Mac as they walked in the room had said it all.
He had become more subdued and withdrawn. Danny was pulling away from them and they didn’t know how to keep him from slipping away.
Regardless of what he said, Danny was not fine with it. He was hurting and it was all Mac’s fault.
Unable to think about anything else, Mac had let Stella and Don finish investigating the scene. He returned to the lab and spent the day in his office doing paperwork and thinking.
He had to make it right. He had to make both Don and Danny realize that they were the one’s he wanted to be with and not *anyone* else. The more Mac thought about what Don had said, the angrier he got, until when Don arrived home later that night, he snapped.
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Don opened the door and stiffened when it was yanked out of his grasp. Mac’s hand shot out, grabbed him and pulled him inside. The door was slammed shut, and he was shoved up against the wall. He was about to say something when Mac slammed their lips together in a passionate soul searing kiss that lasted until Mac pulled away to get a breath.
“I know exactly what this shit is doing to you and Danny,” he growled harshly. “Do you think that I like to play lovey dovey with her when it takes time away from you and Danny? Yes, we are friends. She knows about you and Danny, but that doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty every damn time I’m out with her. You and Danny are my heart, and if I could do anything else I would.”
Don sighed at the tone in Mac’s voice. He knew that Mac still didn’t understand how he and Danny felt. It would take a major jolt to make Mac really know what they were feeling.
The phone rang.
Before either of them could get to it the answering machine picked up. When the greeting was finished Danny’s voice came through the speaker.
“Hey guys, I wanted to let you know that I am in Montana for the next few days. I thought one of us should be here for Lindsay while she’s going through this hell. I’ll call later tonight when I get settled. Love you both.”
The line went dead.
Don and Mac looked at each other in shock.
“What the fuck?” Don asked as he went and replayed the message.
Mac stood at the door and listened to the message replay, getting angry at the thought that Danny was in Montana with Lindsay instead of here at home in bed where he belonged.
“Son of a bitch!” Mac said softly, vehemently.
His tone of voice caused Don to look at him sharply in concern. “What’s wrong?”
Mac was seething. Danny had decided to get on a plane and go to Montana instead of coming home and sleeping. He didn’t even run it past Mac first, to ask for the time off. He just went.
Danny had gone to Lindsay.
Mac secretly hated the fact that Lindsay had feelings for Danny and it was just recently that she had started to act on them.
Mac didn’t realize that he was talking out loud until he heard Don say, “until you made it public that you were dating Peyton.”
Mac sighed. He finally got it. He finally understood what his lovers were going through when they saw him with Peyton. He finally understood the message he had been sending to other people.
His dating of Peyton told others, who hadn’t picked up on their relationship that it was alright to be interested in his lovers; to hit on them.
The next thing he felt were Don’s arms wrapped around his waist and the younger man’s lips on his neck as he nuzzled the ex-Marine.
“I’m sorry Don.” Mac said softly. “I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to see what you and Danny have been trying to tell me.”
Don smiled and pulled him closer. “At least you see it now. That’s what matters.”
“How do I make it up to Danny?” Mac asked softly.
“Well, first you call him,” Don suggested as he pulled Mac to the couch and guided him down with him. “Then when he gets home you prove to him, in any way you can think of that you love him more than anything in the world. Well besides me.”
“But how?” Mac asked in a rare moment of vulnerability.
“Maybe tell him how his going to Montana to be with Lindsay made you feel and made you realize how he feels.” Don said.
Mac thought for a few minutes and then nodded.
“Yeah.” Mac said. “Yeah I can do that.”
Looking up at Don, he smiled. He pulled out his phone to call Danny and leave a message for his absent lover. “And when I get done with this call I will begin making it up to you too.”