[Fanfiction] [Naruto] Tell me where it hurts
Title: Tell me where it hurts
Author: angels_archives
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: Sasuke Uchiha x Hyuuga Hinata
Theme: Romance/Drama
Rating: K+
Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto. This is a work of fiction.
Published: 070705; 6.25pm
Why is that sad look in your eyes?
Why are you crying?
Tell me now Tell me now
Tell me why you're feelin' this way
I hate to see you so down, oh baby!
It was autumn. The red and yellow leaves of autumn were falling down on the cool ground. The sky was gray, so unlike the earlier days of this autumn.
The wind was cold. But his neck was wrapped with a warm dark blue scarf. His breath rose on the air before vanishing like an illusion. These were the last days when he can come out on his backyard without freezing in the intense chill.
His dark onyx eyes scanned the ground carefully, searching.
He let out a sigh of relief.
There it was.
A small hole at the bottom of the wall, large enough to slide a hand through but small enough to be left unnoticed, lay gaping.
He sat down by it, with his back to the wall. The sky was gray and it was cold. He needed warmth.
The wristwatch said it was two minutes before three. It was almost time for them to meet.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to fill his lungs. It was cold but not too cold that he couldn’t stand it. If for her, he would.
The sky was gray, just like her depthless eyes.
“Sasuke-kun…” a small voice said.
And his breath caught. Slowly he slid his right hand through the hole, tentatively touching air. Small delicate fingers caught his and he stopped. She was there.
Her fingers were shaking. He could feel it.
“Sasuke-kun…” she repeated.
There was a tremor in her voice. He could feel it.
“Hinata-san…” he said softly. He turned slightly to the right to better hold her hand. The small fingers were still shaking.
Hyuuga Hinata was trying hard not to cry.
It was still a mystery to him how he knew. But her body was shaking from stopped tears, so different from one wracked with fear. And it hurt more.
“Are you all right?” he said as he leaned his head back against the wall. She was sitting on the other side and holding his hand. A strong and tangible barrier lay between them.
“Y-Yes…” her voice caught on her throat. His heart felt like it was being torn to pieces. She was and trying hard not to show it.
“If you say so…” he finally conceded.
But in his mind, he could see the crystal tears making paths down her cheeks.
Is it your heart?
Oh, that's breakin' all in pieces
Makin' you cry
And makin' you feel blue
Is there anythin' that I can do?
“What’s happened?” he asked quietly.
But he knew she heard.
It was a strange friendship. They never talked to each other in public but they communicated clearly on this secret place. Ever since she moved in with her cousin who lived right next-door to him, she’d started to change. They didn’t expect anything from each other except perhaps some comfort and some peace.
He discovered things about her he thought he needn’t know.
She liked robins and clouds. Sunlight and flowers too. Her only goal is to be acknowledged by the one she loved.
He discovered that a voice can only reveal so much. And that the touch of her hand would bring warmth back to his icy being. She was soft and delicate. Her hands, though it had calluses and little cuts, were the softest and most beautiful hands for him.
They held hands as a means of contact with each other.
The meetings were quiet but filled with so much meaning. It was unusual but he found out he could tell anything to her. He unburdened his soul and revealed much about himself. In her light he thought he can heal his brokenness.
There were sighs, laughter, and tears. They found respect, warmth, comfort, and peace.
She talked about herself sometimes, reliving the dark memories of childhood. Her fears, doubts, and insecurities were his to keep. He didn’t laugh nor did he mock but he accepted them with both hands.
They were broken children trying to find wholeness again.
“I’ve heard. About the coming marriage, I mean.” He said quietly, feeling his words take hold of his heart, squeezing it.
Her breath caught and was released in a small sob. So she was crying.
“I’m sorry.” But sorry was foolish.
It couldn’t change anything. But he wished it could.
“It’s all right…” she repeated, her voice cracking. His hand tightened around hers, trying to share her pain. “I’m okay…”
But you’re not, he wanted to say. You’re hurt.
She was finding her lost pieces only to be shattered again.
“Is there anything I can do---“to ease your pain?
“Nothing,” she said firmly.
Why don't you tell me where it hurts now, baby?
And I'll do my best to make it better
Yes, I'll do my best to make those tears all go away
Just tell me where it hurts
Now, tell me
And I love you with a love so tender
Oh and if you let me stay
I'll love all of the hurt away
Silence settled between them. He could feel her shaking body and how he ached to hold her.
It was beyond what they agreed therefore impossible.
She doesn’t belong to him.
Her spirit and secrets may lie with him but her heart and soul was with another man.
With his best friend it was too. Ah, how ironic.
No sobs escaped her throat but tears passed by her pale cheeks. Her body trembled like a leaf in a storm. He wanted to reach out and bring her into his arms, envelope her into his warmth.
But he can’t. And wouldn’t.
She was beyond his reach.
“Are you crying?” he asked.
“No, I am not,” she lied.
He shook his head lightly, smiling sadly. She was the epitome of the words grace under pressure.
She can cry and she can lie about it.
Her heart was breaking and he couldn’t save it.
It was a sad truth but he had to accept it.
Here are all those tears coming from
Why are they falling?
Somebody, somebody, somebody leave your heart in the cold
You just need somebody to hold on, baby
Give me a chance
To put back all the pieces
Take hold of your heart
Make it just like new
There's so many things that I can do
He felt teardrops on the back of his hand. Slow and gentle like snowflakes.
“He wanted it… and could have it too. I don’t want to be selfish… I don’t want to hold him back…” she whispered forlornly “But I don’t want this either.”
He squeezed her hand, trying to reassure her. He felt weak with pity and hopelessness.
“I know you don’t. But it’s only suitable for you…” he said slowly.
“I don’t want it…” she sighed “I wish I can marry you to please Father.”
Sasuke Uchiha’s heart stopped beating for a second.
“But I can’t… You aren’t meant for me…” Hyuuga Hinata murmured helplessly.
It was a hopeless case and he dearly wanted to change it so.
And then she was crying.
Why don't you tell me where it hurts now, baby?
And I'll do my best to make it better
Yes, I'll do my best to make those tears all go away
Just tell me where it hurts
Now, tell me
And I love you with a love so tender
Oh and if you let me stay
I'll love all of the hurt away
He needed her.
And he couldn’t have her anyway.
He couldn’t chase away the shadows threatening to cover her. He couldn’t offer himself to protect her.
His best friend was going to be married to the Hokage’s apprentice. That man was her beloved.
After so many years of loving and cherishing him, he never turned her way. It hurt to love without being acknowledged or even loved in return. She waited so patiently but now her waiting was at an end.
Uzumaki Naruto was going to be married.
And she was going to be engaged too.
Sasuke knew that she was hurt terribly by it although she only kept it to herself. She didn’t want anyone to know what was in her mind, in her heart.
If only he could reach out to her and envelope her in his arms. Once, he was selfish and arrogant but because of her, he learned what humility and selflessness meant. He didn’t need to burden her with his lifelong angst because she was suffering too. All of them were the walking wounded. No one’s pain was worse than his.
He wanted to catch her, help her up, and make her happy. He wanted to provide what she so wanted all her life. A little respect and a little love would have meant so much for her.
It wasn’t anything he expected but he was happy to try and be a proxy for her. It was a selfish thought but he was happy.
And happiness was something they both needed so much.
Their friendship spanned the last three seasons. Spring, summer and now autumn… they’d watched the flowers grow and the trees to lose their leaves. Even when it rained, they still sat together, able to release their tears without feeling unashamed or embarrassed.
It was also the first time he’d cried after a long, long time.
Her heart was breaking.
And he was being hurt unceasingly too.
Every small sob, ever tear that fell from her pearl-gray eyes were worth a thousand shurikens slicing him up. He wanted to reach out to wipe all the teardrops away and give her his heart, if only to make it stop.
“Is there anything I can do?” he asked gently. Tell me, Hinata-san.
“None, as far as I know,” she replied.
You’re lying. Sasuke thought with a bittersweet smile.
“You’ve never lied to me before,” he said softly. His hands tightened around hers, trying to warm up her hand.
“I didn’t.” she murmured. The sky was being covered by so many clouds.
Slowly, one by one, the snowflakes fell.
It was the first day of winter. Another season was finished, another has just begun.
This winter, she will be married too as her beloved married in the first day of spring.
Instead of sweet cherry blossoms and warm sunshine, she will gaze at the snow-flowers and cool winter wind instead.
She was crying about it too.
I want to take care of you, to protect you, to help stop your tears…
Please give me a chance.
Sasuke leaned back and closed his eyes. Snowflakes settled on his hair, eyelashes, and face before vanishing as if it never was. The afternoon was slipping away to dusk and soon it would be too cold to stay.
“What do you want me to do?” he asked, opening his eyes to watch the slow descent of the snow-flowers.
“Stay,” she said simply.
But he took his hand away.
Tell me, tell me, tell me, and tell me baby
Tell me, tell me, tell me, and tell me
And I'll do my best to make it better
Yes, I'll do my best to make the tears all go away
Just tell me where it hurts
Now, tell me
And I love you with a love so tender
Oh, and if you let me stay
I'll love all of the hurt away
Hinata started to cry. It was too much to ask from her closest friend in the world. She couldn’t blame him from going away. Why did she have to be so helpless?
She hugged her hands to her chest, trying to find the warmth she desperately craved.
She needed him.
Why did he have to add to her pain?
And then he was there.
She looked up, tears streaming down her cheeks, to find him standing before her. His eyes contained a bittersweet sadness and it tugged at her heart. The night-dark hair was covered in snowflakes, like hers.
“Hinata-san…” Sasuke said quietly, as their eyes met.
It was the first time he jumped across the barrier. Her heart leapt.
“Sasuke-kun…” she said softly.
He knelt down and wrapped his arms around her. Her tears started to fall, one after another, as she melted into his embrace.
Her quiet knight, confidant, and the closest friend in the world had come for her.
“Tell me where it hurts…” he said in a gentle tone.
“Here.” She said, placing a hand on her heart.
He took her hand and kissed her fingertips, bringing warmth to her cheeks. And then they settled on a comfortable embrace with his arms around her small form, his chin resting on her head as she cried on to his chest.
The snow-flowers continued to fall, like Hinata’s tears.
And they stayed that way.
I will make you happy again. Sasuke vowed. It would be a long and hard process but he wanted it for her.
Oh, and if you let me stay
I'll love all of the hurt away