[Fanfiction] Naruto] [Remember]
Autumn left and winter followed in its wake. The trees shed their leaves; the wind became harsher and colder. Snow fell on the Village regularly. It was a hard season but the villagers bore it well.
True to their word, Kakashi and Naruto took Sasuke away for the rest of the winter.
Sakura didn’t know what to feel when she watched her husband’s back fade into the distance. She was hidden from him. Tsunade-sama had forbidden them from seeing each other until Sasuke’s return. They didn’t want to risk it.
So she watched from the distance, bundled up and held back, to bid her husband farewell. Her friends were there for her. They held her hands while she struggled to sort her emotions.
She listened to their soothing words and reassurances. They would return in spring. They wouldn’t hold Sasuke back a moment longer once they proved that he was sincerely sorry. He would return home triumphant to Konoha and back to her.
They had returned her children. After almost a week of separation, she had wept without abandon as Momiji, Natsumi and Yuki rushed into her arms. They were just as glad to see her. It was an emotional reunion that led to her speedy recovery.
But she didn’t dare return to the Uchiha mansion yet.
When Naruto extended an invitation to let them stay in the Hyuuga compound as guests, she took up his offer.
Hinata and Tenten were her friends. They were worried that the stress of carrying her next child and caring for her other children and worrying about her husband would take an expected toll so they kept an eye on her. If Sasuke ever went feral, he’d also have to face the ninjas that patrolled the estate.
Lee and Neji were kind enough to go to the Uchiha mansion with her. She was shaking all over when they entered the master’s bedroom but it was nothing that she can’t handle. So she packed clothes and essentials while they waited. Fear, longing and nostalgia swirled inside her as she walked through the halls and corridors.
This was their house. This was where they’d lived, fought and loved. This was where they’d raised their family.
She blinked back her tears as she locked the door behind them. Looking back, she had imagined the forlorn and abandoned look that seemed to envelope their home. It was as if their house understood their separation too.
The cherry blossom wondered how it would feel when they returned to it as a whole family.
Her children didn’t show her their tears and fears. Instead, they resumed their playful dispositions. They laughed, horsed around and begged for Christmas presents. They didn’t talk about the fighting, the hospital stay and the father they missed. It was as if the mere memory didn’t exist.
She couldn’t blame them. They were probably as afraid as she was. She’d noticed their strained expressions and their forced laughter. They didn’t know but she knew that they’d stopped playing house. She knew them well so she understood exactly how they felt.
Momiji had changed too. She was quiet and brooding when she used to be talkative and outgoing. There was also a tremendous desire to be the perfect daughter. She sometimes wished that Momiji would relax and unwind so that she won’t run herself to the ground. Watching the cherry-headed girl care for her siblings and herd them around like a little mother broke her heart.
Yuki and Natsumi were still innocent, bless them. They tried their hardest to be angels. When she became tired and moody, they would do their best to soothe her. Sometimes they would crawl into her bed in the guest bedroom in the middle of the night. She understood that they still wanted reassurance that she wouldn’t disappear like she did before.
Sakura was also shocked when she didn’t hear any questions about their father’s whereabouts. Where there used to be curiosity and insistence, there was indifference. They didn’t ask or pry. It was if they were pretending that he didn’t exist.
It bothered her. She’d spent countless nights, stroking the growing swell of her stomach, to think about how to help them repair the broken bridges.
The children needed their father. They cannot grow up without him. But Sasuke had sinned gravely by breaking their trust. By showing them the violent and turbulent side of his personality, he shattered their unconditional love. It was only natural for them to feel fear and terror when Sasuke came that close to killing her. She couldn’t blame them if they were frightened of him.
Once, Sakura had looked Momiji present from her father. Their firstborn looked into her eyes and said coldly, “I lost it.”
Sakura didn’t need to ask if their daughter hated her father. The cold and icy expression was enough. When she tried to talk about it again, Momiji ran away until dinnertime. Sakura gave up on the subject.
The twins were curious but when they heard their elder sister’s reprimands, they went quiet. They hated talking about it. Nobody wanted to relive the darkest hours of their mother’s life.
The cherry blossom tried to move on from the experience. She blossomed under the care of the Hyuuga family. Though the Uchiha clan used to be the Hyuuga’s greatest rival, they turned out to be the most sympathetic to the remaining members of the clan. They were treated like honored guests; her children didn’t even experience any discrimination.
She was very glad that Hinata and Tenten did their best to help her through her pregnancy. It was a bit fun to imagine that she was really a part of their family. The realization that her friends truly cared about her well-being had brought tears into her eyes. She didn’t know that she was so loved.
Somehow it compensated for the emptiness that she felt inside. As a woman, she regarded her husband’s love as the greatest thing in her life. But knowing that she was loved and cared for by her friends had reassured her that she didn’t need to suffer so much for it. She can go to sleep with the knowledge that she can depend on other people other than her husband.
Tsunade-sama was also a pillar of strength. She used the image of the older woman to push herself into accepting the fact that she can be stronger and wiser. Whenever the buxom blonde woman dropped by, she talked to her student about the egalitarian approach to marriage. Sakura did her best to emulate her teacher’s example by integrating those ideas into herself. After all, didn’t strong women deserve strong men?
Though she cared about Sasuke, she was willing to show him
Sasuke still dominated her thoughts and dreams. Although she picked up the remnants of her life to move on, she didn’t let herself give that up. After all, Sasuke was a part of her. If she lost him, she would feel like a great chunk of her soul was taken out.
Kakashi and Naruto sent regular reports as winter progressed. They kept a stream of happy messages that painted pictures in her head. Sasuke was doing his best to prove them wrong… Sasuke was working hard…
Reading their messages kept her spirits up. She couldn’t help but feel depressed sometimes when she missed her husband. It was bad for their baby but she couldn’t help it. When Hinata found her sobbing over a letter once, her friend had let her be. She had to cope with it.
Sakura started when she heard Hinata’s soft footsteps. She smiled wanly as the Hyuuga heiress set the tea tray down. “Thanks Hinata-chan.”
“It’s no problem,” said the dark-haired woman cheerfully. “It’s good tea that I received as a present for my birthday. It will warm you up.”
“Thanks,” the cherry blossom murmured as they enjoyed the taste of deliciously hot tea. Snow was falling out the window. Their children were playing in the yard. It was a wonderful sight to watch.
They stayed silent for a while, staring at the children. Neji’s figure was noticeable in a safe distance from the children. When one of the little girls got knocked down, he was there in a flash. Seeing and knowing the Hyuuga prodigy as a gentle and kind friend and father was comforting.
Sakura thought that if Neji was capable of tenderness then her husband certainly was. She glanced at her friend then frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“I want to tell you something,” Hinata started calmly “As your friend; I think you should know this from us.”
“Go on,” she said, alert.
“When you were in the hospital, I took care of your kids. And I heard them talk about your relationship with their father. They tried to be cheerful and unaffected but I can tell that they were shaken,” said the dark-haired heiress “and Momiji was the most heartbroken.”
“I know,” Sakura sighed. “She was her father’s pet. But when I bring up the subject, she changes it. I don’t know what happened between them.”
“As the eldest, she feels like she’s at fault. It’s only natural when she found out that her parents were fighting and she doesn’t know the reason.” Hinata said quietly. Her pearl-gray eyes were sad. “She cried when she told me about what happened. It must have been terrible for the little girl.”
“It’s that bad?” Momiji’s mother fought back tears. “My poor children… I was afraid that this would happen. Did the twins…?”
Hinata’s nod confirmed her worst fears.
“We should really work it out, huh?” Sakura said hoarsely. Her emerald green eyes were filled with tears. That was the greatest blow. Though she tried her hardest to protect them, it still wasn’t enough.
Her friend reached out and squeezed her hand. The expression on Hinata’s face was very understanding. “Don’t beat yourself up for it. It’s bad for the baby.”
Sakura stroked the round swell of the stomach gently. “It’s almost seven months. Two more months to go before this baby sees light… I hope his father gets home soon. I don’t want to give birth without him. Remember Yuki and Natsumi?”
Hinata giggled. “How could I forget? You gave birth at home! If Ino-san and I weren’t there then who knows what could’ve happened! It was difficult, mind you, because we didn’t know you were carrying twins!”
“Sasuke came a day later after they got the message, didn’t he? His expression was very sweet and very tender,” murmured the pink-haired woman with a nostalgic smile “He thought that I didn’t see because I was asleep. It made me fall in love with him again though we fought before he left for that mission.”
The dark-haired woman smiled. It was obvious that Sakura will always care about Sasuke. After recent events, everyone in Konoha was convinced that they were meant for each other. How can love as strong and passionate as that be denied?
“When Sasuke lost his memories, I thought it was my chance. It was very selfish of me. I wanted happiness for our family. I was aware of the consequences but I pushed through with my plans, regardless of the fact that I will affect other people’s lives including my children.” Sakura’s voice was sweet-sad. She looked out of the window to watch her twins chasing each other and looking very happy. “It was my stubbornness or my love that pushed me on. If I wasn’t so foolhardy, I could’ve realized that I could divorce him so many years ago.”
Hinata didn’t say anything. She was a very good listener. That’s why Sakura loved talking to her.
“But do you know why I didn’t? It was because my love was strong enough to survive,” the cherry blossom smiled sadly. “When he comes back, I know we’ll be a family again. He’ll be lover, husband and father to us.”
“I hope so,” said Hinata very softly. Her pearl-gray Byakuugan eyes gazed out of the window with longing. She missed her husband as well. Christmas and her birthday had come again but there wasn’t any word yet. “I truly hope so.”
oOoOoOo
Sakura tried to reach out to her daughter. She truly did.
Weeks and then months passed without any sign of letting up on Momiji’s part. She feared that the anger and hatred festered like an unclean wound in her daughter’s psyche. Her heart worried that it will continue to block her daughter’s optimistic spirit. It was obvious that Momiji was like her father in this; she wasn’t ready to let go of grudges unless she wanted to.
But she also knew that her daughter was slowly growing up and blossoming on her own. It was only a matter of time before she’d see a bright and energetic young woman in place of the sweet little girl.
She could imagine the days and weeks when her daughter would be moody and secretive. Then afterwards, she’d be jumping around again while brimming with joy. Nine was still young but after it came ten, eleven, and twelve…
The years would pass by too quickly. It was a bit hard to swallow when you know that your daughter is not yours forever. Sakura understood that as much. She was not the kind of parent to smother her children with affection. Instead, she’d be supportive and patient to let them bloom into their own independence.
So Sakura wanted to cool her daughter’s anger as best as she could so that she would not shut out her father. Because she herself had a good relationship with her father and it helped a lot in the formation of her character. Besides, she wanted them to restore the same relationship wherein Momiji can confide without hesitancy to her father.
But broken ties should heal in its time.
It was a cold night with howling winds and dropping temperatures. Momiji sat by the fire, curled up with a warm blanket. Her cherry pink hair gleamed in the dim room. It was very late but she refused to sleep.
She didn’t look up when she heard the door open. Her ninja instincts immediately recognized her mother’s heavy and clumsy footsteps on the cool floor. She didn’t even give a sign that she noticed her.
“I brought hot chocolate for you, just the way you like it,” Sakura said very gently. She laid the mug on the small table before her daughter. A small satisfied smile crept up her lips when Momij’s expression changed at the delicious smell. She sat down rather awkwardly on the opposite chair.
“Thank you,” Momiji said politely. She returned her gaze on the fire. But she’d picked up the mug and started on the white marshmallows.
Sakura smiled. Progress! “Can’t sleep, my dear?”
The cherry-headed girl shook her head. “I’d sleep soon, Mama. You should too…”
“Don’t worry about me,” said her mother airily “I’m fine. Pregnant women can’t sleep very well when their babies toss and turn too much.”
Momiji’s eyes went as round as saucers. She put down her mug and edged closer. Without even realizing it, she lowered her voice. “Does he or she move?”
News of their new baby brother or sister was nothing new to her. It was very obvious when she first saw her mother refuse her favorite fruit. Then she concluded that Sakura was pregnant when she found her mother retching and crying and making a mess all over the place which her clueless father tried to comprehend.
But Sakura came clean and admitted it to them minus their father. Her mother had added that they weren’t allowed to breathe a word until she told him. Look at where it got her. Momiji was very worried for her mother and the new baby all throughout the duration of her stay with Hinata. She knew that if her mother had told her father earlier then he wouldn’t have been so harsh on them.
“Yes, just like you were,” Sakura’s eyes softened. She smiled benignly at her eldest daughter while stroking her rounded belly. “You moved around a lot. It was pretty hard to sleep you know.”
“I didn’t know that,” Momiji tried hard not to look interested. She adopted a nonchalant attitude instead.
“Well, you don’t know how much your Father and I felt when we held you,” her mother continued on with a nostalgic look on her face. “We felt like we were given the greatest treasure. Your father always played with you when he was home. Then the twins followed a few years later. I know you enjoyed your years as the solitary child…”
The cherry-headed girl pouted. She gripped the mug tighter. No, she didn’t want to hear how much her father adored her. All of their memories were nonexistent as far as she was concerned. There was no need to pretend that he even cared about them all.
“Did Papa get his memories back?” she asked frankly.
Sakura stared at her levelly. As calmly as she could she answered, “Yes. He didn’t react well to it.”
“So Papa was just pretending! He lied to us! He hurt you!” the Uchiha heiress cried out, agitated. She stared back at her mother with the same fierce black eyes. “Don’t you even care? You even went to have a baby with him! Don’t you know that it hurts us?”
The cherry blossom gasped.
“Mama, we love you very much. You think you’re protecting us but you’re not because it’s all meant to happen anyway. I understand why you’re hiding it from us all the time but we’ll understand better if you tell us why.” Momiji didn’t care if tears flowed down her cheeks. “We love you enough to keep you safe from harm! We don’t care about our father… We don’t…”
Sakura smiled and reached forward to envelope Momiji into a hug. She let her daughter’s sobbing head rest on her shoulder while warm tears seeped through her nightshirt. Tangling fingers on the same pink silk, she kissed her forehead lovingly.
Her daughter cried her heart out. She didn’t care if her sobbing could be heard all over the whole house. She didn’t give an opinion if her siblings would know. What she really wanted was to stay in her mother’s arms and be comforted.
They stayed that way for a while. It seemed that all of the bottled up anger and sadness in Momiji’s heart was released into her mother’s keeping. She let herself enjoy the warmth and comfort that only a mother’s love could give. No matter what happened, she swore to herself, she’d be strong enough to protect her.
“You know,” Sakura said very quietly “I also lied. I’m very sorry for that. But you have to know, Momiji-chan, that even parents make mistakes. We only want to protect you because we didn’t want you to get hurt. But we didn’t realize that we’re the ones who hurt you. I’m so sorry, Momiji-chan. Realize that walls of love are just as suffocating as walls of hatred. So smile and chin up, my dear. Even though we fight and get mad, we’ll stick together.”
Momiji gazed up at her innocently. Her warm and easy grin made her daughter’s lips twitch involuntarily. “Because we would never break our family apart, your Papa will come home a different man.”
“I still won’t forgive him,” said the cherry-haired girl with a decisive tone “Until I hear a sorry.”
“That’s my girl,” Sakura whispered as Momiji hugged her tightly before departing to bed. She knew that she’d sleep a wiser and older girl tomorrow. Pouring salve on the wounds was a gamble because they’d have to heal it on their own.
oOoOoOo
The moon came out that night.
Sasuke shivered as he scooted closer to the fire. He rubbed his hands gingerly and blew on them to keep them warm. The winter months were the hardest to bear. But he would until he’d proven himself.
His companions were asleep. They had set up camp on one of the clearings. After training, hunting and eating, they had decided to rest for the night. It was almost like the good old days when they were young and carefree. The only thing missing was Sakura.
The Uchiha heir’s face saddened. Just thinking about her made him sad. He missed her so much. It was like he was carrying a large and gaping hole in his soul that only she could fill. Not being able to see was torture.
When he’d asked about her, his former mentor and teammate refused to talk. All they said when they picked him up from his makeshift cell was that they were going away and he’d better ready himself for it. Though he demanded about his wife everyday, they were tight-lipped. It only added to his frustration.
His friends had been unusually easy on him. It was as if they were quietly studying him. He knew that they were wondering when he’d explode next. Irritable as he was, he didn’t let it on. Who knows what the Godaime will do if he sent back their dead bodies?
So he strived hard to win back their trust. Whether or not he liked it, they were going to be his keepers for a long, long time. The winter season stretched on and on until forever, it seemed. He didn’t want to think that they were frozen in time.
Sasuke answered Kakashi and Naruto’s questions as best as he could. He wanted to be seen as open, communicative and ready for any punishment. The punishment didn’t look imminent so he didn’t pay much attention. Anything they’d asked, he’d answered. It was what needed his most urgent attention.
He let them know that he was out of control. He heard voices in his head, suffered malicious thoughts and acted on them and definitely went to attack his wife. If he didn’t know any better, he should’ve just confessed to the nearest priest to get absolution.
But he had Kakashi and Naruto so he had to make do.
Sasuke also worried about his children when he wants worrying about his pregnant wife. He replayed the heartbreaking scene of Momiji’s angry words (“I hate you!”) like a broken record. It was enough to shatter his confidence. If his daughters and son hated him like that, he’d know that it was a lost cause.
He missed them terribly.
“When are we going to go home?” he asked no one in particular.
Naruto stirred. He blinked and sat up, shuddering as the icy wind blew up his back. “We’ll come home once spring comes alone. Look for the first signs of it then we’ll think about it.”
“Argh,” the Uchiha muttered under his breath. “Don’t you miss your family?”
“I do,” Naruto said matter-of-factly. “I miss them everyday. If anything happened while I was gone, I’d pummel Neji-niisan.”
Sasuke chuckled in spite of himself. He knew that the blond could easily overpower the Hyuuga prodigy in a match. It was amazing how powerful they’d all grown over the years.
“But Hinata would’ve dealt with him first,” Naruto roared with laughter. “You’ve never seen an angry wife until you see mine.”
“I’m sure,” agreed the dark-haired man. He couldn’t help laughing at the image of an angry Hyuuga Hinata. The frail and fragile heiress who was half their size didn’t seem threatening at all. “Sakura goes red and starts yelling when she is. Then she throws things.”
“Um,” said the blond, a little confused. “That was when your memories were lost. I don’t think Sakura could’ve acted like that around you when you’re on your right mind.”
He stopped and looked away. That was very, very true.
“Sakura can get mad at me anytime she likes,” he said slowly. “She can shout and file grievances too. I don’t want her to suppress her emotions because of me.”
“Oh you don’t want to suppress it,” Naruto shuddered. “With postpartum depression, all you’ll have to do is ride with it. I remember when you used to leave for missions after she gave birth. You couldn’t stand it.”
“I was a bad husband wasn’t I?” said Sasuke in a sad tone. Glancing at his friend, he sighed deeply. “Look, I won’t do that anymore. I’m a different man now.”
“Tell that to Tsunade-baba,” said the blond cheerfully.
“How do you win your children over after a skirmish?” asked the dark-haired man. He looked at his friend quizzically. If Kakashi didn’t have concrete answers then maybe Naruto can. After all, the blond had a family just like him.
“I take them out for ice cream,” shrugged Naruto. He fixed clear blue eyes on his best friend. “Oh, you can also try telling the truth. It’s the surefire way to win them over.”
Sasuke smiled. “Right…”
“I’m going to sleep.” The blond lay down and zipped his sleeping bag up to his chin. The winds rattled their tent; the gas lamp’s flame flickered. Though they were warriors, they still carried the comforts of home. It was totally unnecessary to brave the elements by sleeping on the open air. “If you want to keep thinking, be my guest.”
The dark-haired man shook his head and lay down. He closed his eyes. The sweetest dreams should visit him tonight. Finding the first sign of spring had given him hope.
It will be a time for new beginnings when he comes back home.
oOoOoOo
“Can’t we tell them to come back yet?” Sakura asked impatiently. She was having tea with Tsunade-sama on one of the Hyuuga formal rooms. Her mentor stared at her thoughtfully before setting the delicate china cup down. “I’m nearly due.”
“No,” said the Godaime firmly. “Not until spring.”
“Can’t you smell it on the air?” insisted the cherry-headed woman. She groaned when the baby she was carrying kicked hard at the roof of her womb. Sitting usually made it unusually active. She found that the baby stayed still when she was on the move. “There are signs of life already! Warm weather and friskier animals! It’s spring already, Tsunade-sama! What kind of spring do you want?”
They stared at each other.
Tsunade smiled slyly. “I know you’re hot for him but please contain it for the sake of appearances. You don’t want to jump him when he walks in.”
Sakura groaned in frustration.
“They’ve been gone for months! Hinata’s growing grouchy, I can tell.” The pink-haired woman wailed in frustration. When that didn’t work, she continued. “My welcome is wearing thin.”
“The Hyuuga family had recently asked for a favor that I granted,” the buxom blonde said smoothly. Her brown eyes were gleaming. “You’ll have to be a little more patient, my dear.”
“Argh!” Sakura moaned as she put her head on her arms.
“How is your daughter doing?” asked the Godaime gently.
“Well,” was her muffled reply “very well.”
“Still angry at her father, I presume?” Tsunade-sama asked in the same gentle tone. She half-expected Sakura to sit up straight and tell her about the current situation When she didn’t, she became curious. “I should think that she’ll have the same capacity to grudge like her father.”
Sakura did sit up. “She’ll be different from him.”
“I don’t think so,” the Godaime said quietly and pointed to the window. She shifted her gaze from her mentor to the awesome sight of her tattered but cleanly dressed husband walking in the Hyuuga compound as if he owned the place.
Tsunade smiled as she stared at the student. She’d kept the secret that they were coming back on the same day as her visit. It was supposed to be a big surprise. She didn’t mean to frustrate her student; it was only too much fun to dangle the prize on a rabid wife.
The older woman’s smiled widened when Sakura rushed out of the room as fast as her legs could carry her. It was a marvel how a ninth-month pregnant woman could move when she wanted to. She was very glad that she’d be the godmother to the unborn child.
Staring at the heartwarming scene out the window, she could only nod in satisfaction.
“S-Sasuke!” Sakura yelled from the doorway. She was trembling with excitement, fear and anticipation. Her emerald green eyes welled with tears. Walking out into the open yard with shaking legs drained her energy but she forged onwards. “Y-You’re home!”
“Sakura!” Uchiha Sasuke said softly, awe in his voice. He stood still, drinking in the most beautiful sight of his life. His entire life seemed to lead up to this exact moment in time.
Dressed in a simple housedress and slippers, she glowed with the inner radiance that expectant mothers had. Her gloriously pink hair spilled out of her braid while her fully rounded stomach declared its presence unabashedly. He stared, amazed, as she closed the short distance between them.
He hugged her to his chest hard. Their breaths synchronized. The world stopped spinning; the spring stopped blooming. All of their senses went on overload as they reacquainted each other with the changes that had taken place.
“Almost done,” Sakura said cheerfully when she was released. She rubbed her belly, laughing at his expression.
“All’s finished,” Sasuke answered as he tapped his temple. “I’m not a psycho.”
Laughing hard, she grabbed his hand and squeezed. It was so good to know that he was there and real and standing in front of her. She didn’t even want to believe it. Spring was really there. It had brought her husband back to them.
“I’m so, so sorry,” he said as he knelt down in front of her and brought her hands to his face. He didn’t care that it was muddy and wet on the ground. His dark eyes beseeched hers. “You didn’t deserve what I did. I’m sincerely sorry that I did that. If you take me back, I’ll take care of you, love you and care for you for the rest of our days.”
It was so cheesy and corny that she had to smile.
Sakura pretended to think about it.
He tried harder. “I’ll never lift a finger against you. I’ve gotten rid of the ghosts that held me to its grudge for a long time. Of course, it’s my entire fault but if you’d just understand that I was confused and lost then… But you stayed beside me and believed in me. You gave up your happiness for me. I was never going to move on if it wasn’t for you. If you’d let me make it up to you, I swear, I’d never hurt you ever. I’ll do anything.”
Sakura helped him back to his feet. Her serene expression calmed him down somewhat. She giggled like a little girl when he kissed her. “Anything?”
“Anything,” his nod was confirmation.
“Make Momiji forgive you,” she said quietly. Tilting her head towards their eldest daughter’s direction, she smiled. “She needs you most. The twins forgave you when I explained why but they’ll need a formal apology too.”
Sasuke nodded.
They kissed again before he pulled away to search for their daughter. She watched him go with love in her eyes. If anything, she was the happiest woman in the world right now.
oOoOoOo