(no subject)
I don't know what to do. I don't feel like writing anymore. At least, right now. I finally figured out why I couldn't log onto The Host website. I got banned. Why? I don't know. One of the moderators felt I was in violation of some rule. I wasn't aware that I was, and I wasn't informed of my transgression. If it was a repeated offense, this is the first time it's been brought to my attention. I always felt like I wasn't quite welcome there, but I really enjoyed mingling with people, chatting with them.
It's kind of depressing to get kicked out of a place you like. Especially without warning. I think it was my avatar. It was... suggestive, but in a purely comical way, based off of something else I'd read earlier. I guess it was too much. I didn't think it would be too bad, and if someone had PM'ed me and asked me to take it down, I would've. I'm only guessing thats what it was. I don't even know for sure. No one told me anything.
I just feel a little blindsided. I tried to be good. I really, really did. I really liked everyone there, even if they didn't feel the same way about me. Even if they still wanted to ban me, I wish someone had just sent me an email explaining why. I don't even know what I did wrong. I don't mean to break rules, and I certainly don't do it intentionally.
It's a really... really depressing feeling. I can't really articulate it. I'm not posting this for pity or any crap like that, I'm just trying to let it out because it's... its inside me and it won't let go. My heart hurts because I really liked being a part of this community, and...it really hurts to believe that someone I really admire would turn around and kick me out at the first chance she got. I'm the sort of person who wants to be everyone's friend. I don't like people hating me, and I try do avoid that. Apparently, no matter how hard I tried here, I just couldn't.
I just... I never thought something so seemingly trite would bum me out so much. I kind of feel like my best friend died.
I thought I was paranoid and being whiny about people not liking me there. Sometimes it felt like... my posts would be deleted when other people would be warned at the most for similar things. I thought I was just being dumb and pouty and immature. Now I'm not so sure those weren't founded fears... sigh.
I'm not protesting. I just want to know why? Why wasn't I asked? I would've changed whatever the offensive... whatever it was, was. If nothing else, if they'd asked me to leave, I would've. It would have been nice to know why, not spend all day trying to log on, and then realize... it's not me. I wasn't mistyping my password. I wasn't allowed to come back. And I just... I don't like not knowing why. I certainly don't want to make the same mistake again. But if I don't know what the mistake was... how can I avoid it? It just hurts, even if it seems stupid.
And now I feel a little better, at least. Yay...... ...
ETA: Problem solved and spirits high again. I guess I worried too much too soon. As usual. ^.^ Mood: changed.
It's kind of depressing to get kicked out of a place you like. Especially without warning. I think it was my avatar. It was... suggestive, but in a purely comical way, based off of something else I'd read earlier. I guess it was too much. I didn't think it would be too bad, and if someone had PM'ed me and asked me to take it down, I would've. I'm only guessing thats what it was. I don't even know for sure. No one told me anything.
I just feel a little blindsided. I tried to be good. I really, really did. I really liked everyone there, even if they didn't feel the same way about me. Even if they still wanted to ban me, I wish someone had just sent me an email explaining why. I don't even know what I did wrong. I don't mean to break rules, and I certainly don't do it intentionally.
It's a really... really depressing feeling. I can't really articulate it. I'm not posting this for pity or any crap like that, I'm just trying to let it out because it's... its inside me and it won't let go. My heart hurts because I really liked being a part of this community, and...it really hurts to believe that someone I really admire would turn around and kick me out at the first chance she got. I'm the sort of person who wants to be everyone's friend. I don't like people hating me, and I try do avoid that. Apparently, no matter how hard I tried here, I just couldn't.
I just... I never thought something so seemingly trite would bum me out so much. I kind of feel like my best friend died.
I thought I was paranoid and being whiny about people not liking me there. Sometimes it felt like... my posts would be deleted when other people would be warned at the most for similar things. I thought I was just being dumb and pouty and immature. Now I'm not so sure those weren't founded fears... sigh.
I'm not protesting. I just want to know why? Why wasn't I asked? I would've changed whatever the offensive... whatever it was, was. If nothing else, if they'd asked me to leave, I would've. It would have been nice to know why, not spend all day trying to log on, and then realize... it's not me. I wasn't mistyping my password. I wasn't allowed to come back. And I just... I don't like not knowing why. I certainly don't want to make the same mistake again. But if I don't know what the mistake was... how can I avoid it? It just hurts, even if it seems stupid.
And now I feel a little better, at least. Yay...... ...
ETA: Problem solved and spirits high again. I guess I worried too much too soon. As usual. ^.^ Mood: changed.