Merlin: The Sword in the Stone [SPOILERS]
In a land of myth and a time for starting finales, the destiny of my love for this show and its cast has already been written...
EEEEEE!
Ooh, Beltane... let's see, that's a springtime festival. We had Samhain back in the premiere, so therefore the events of this season took place over the fall and winter and now into spring. Also, according to About.com (hey, at least it's not Wikipedia!), Beltane falls on May Day, or May 1, in the northern hemisphere. Samhain would be October 31, so there you go people! A general dating system of when this is all happening! Awesome.
And yes, I am that much of a geek that I actually paused the episode and started looking this stuff up. *headdesk*
Oh Arthur, if anyone could pull off looking kingly in undergarments, it would be you. You could even start a trend! All hot gorgeous noblemen and knights must henceforth go around very scantily clad! Trust me, the women of your kingdom would love you for it.
*giggles* Oh, Merlin, you're such a silly boy.
Ooh, Arthur's putting on weight? Clearly, his heartsickness over Gwen isn't affecting his appetite.
Ah, Agravaine, getting an early start on your evilness are you?
HAHAHAHA! So much for keeping the belt situation a secret. Merlin, you totally did that on purpose, didn't you, just to make Percival choke on his wine.
Oh fuck, invasion time. Agravaine, you sonofabitch. I hate you. Seriously.
Oh, Arthur, don't be sad! You'll see your girlfriend here soon.
EEEK! NINJAS! *flails* Never good.
And Agravaine is getting his pyro on. Bastard.
SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHH! FIRE! So much for having a party.
Oh fuck!
Heh, love Merlin barking orders for people to follow him. Clearly, Merlin has some authority hereabouts.
ELYAN! GUT THAT TRAITOROUS BASTARD!!! GET HIM!
Oh no! Elyan!
Morgana: I don't have time to play soldiers, Agravaine.
Agravaine: *sulks* The old ball 'n chain never lets me have any fun.
Morgana: WHAT WAS THAT?!
Agravaine: *gulps* N-Nothing.
Jeez, this is a lot of men.
Uh, yeah, worst fears, definitely. Remember last week, Gaius? That poor Owen kid? Betcha a gold sovereign that that had something to do with it.
ARTHUR IS A SUPER SLOW-MO BADASS!!!!!!!!
Helios is a knight-flipping, gutting badass, but not as pretty as Arthur. And he's evil, so therefore he loses points on that too.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
HAH! TAKE THAT YOU BASTARDS!
Broken rib or two? *whimpers*
And Arthur sees it with his own eyes, his uncle's treachery. My poor darling...
Merlin: We can deal with your uncle later!
Arthur: *smoldering, wounded rage*
Merlin: I promise!
Arthur: *growls*
Merlin: We'll make it slow and painful! I even know a few torture tricks! I'll use them on him just for you!
Arthur: I will hold you to that.
Get him out, Merlin! *flails*
And Morgana's already taken up residence in the throne room. She loves that throne, doesn't she?
Helios, stop skeeving on Morgana. Seriously.
Oh crap... Gaius, suggesting Merlin enslave Arthur with magic?! WTF? NOT COOL!
Oh no, GWAINE!! And Gaius too?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Morgana hates Gaius! He's a dead man. *frets*
Hunt, my ass, you psychotic bitch whom I still love but cry over incessently because you've been turned into a psychotic bitch. ;_;
Elyan!
Percival: *grabs Elyan by the chainmail* Elyan!
Elyan: *saucy grin* Don't hold back on my account!
Merlin: Dudes, if there isn't time for me and Arthur to have kinky sexy times, then there certainly isn't time for you two! MOVE IT OR LOSE IT SISTERS!
Okay, Merlin, get that spell off of Arthur, right fucking now!
OH FUCK! KILL AGRAVAINE NOW MERLIN!
OH NO! *flings self on Arthur* YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM YOU BASTARDS!
PERCIVAL!! ELYAN!!
Okay, seriously, I know this is supposed to be funny, but I'm not enjoying it. Get the fucking spell off of him.
Agravaine, if you've killed anyone in the reoccurring cast, I will find a way to gut you myself, you bastard. Also, stop the pissing contest with Helios. You already lose because he's prettier than you.
Morgana: Have the people of Camelot welcomed me as their queen?
Agravaine: Uh, no. They prefer blonde monarchs, it seems, to brunettes. Any chance you're willing to dye your hair?
Morgana: Excuse me?
Agravaine: Eep.
Helios: You're such a wimp. Clearly, Her Majesty would prefer a manlier right-hand man.
Agravaine: Excuse me?
Morgana: STFU. Both of you.
Fuck. Morgana's hardcore this year, isn't she?
God, pod!Arthur is freaky. STOP APOLOGIZING ARTHUR! IT'S SCARY!!
O.M.G. Okay, Arthur in tiny peasant clothes is fucking hilarious.
More snakes?! Jeez, Morgana has a serious snake fetish.
God, Morgana's fucking nuts.
ELYAN! NO!
Oh no, he broke. Morgana knows where Arthur and Merlin are going. Not good! Not good at all!
*smirks* Agravaine just got demoted to #2 lackey for being squicked out by torture. Clearly, Morgana is going to choose Helios to be her primary booty call because he is so into that kind of thing like her. I have no sympathy for the bastard.
Elyan: *glassy stare*
Gwaine: What'd they do to him?
Gaius: Tortured him to the limits of human endurance, most likely.
Gwaine: Well. That's cheerful. Nice sign of what it's going to be like under Her Bitchiness.
Agravaine, you do a really bad puppy impression, hoping for a kind pat on the head before you go off to kill your own kin for her. How many times do I have to say it? Morgana's. Not. Interested.
God, she's good at sweet-talking.
Morgana: Find Arthur, and you'll never leave my side again.
Agravaine: Really? SCORE! *skips away*
Morgana: All my minions are idiots.
Okay, I think the spell is wearing off.
Isolde! *squeaks*
Lot's kingdom? So someone new has taken over Cenred's old stomping grounds? Because it was still referred to as Cenred's kingdom back in 4x09.
(Side note: the map of Camelot that the show had drawn up back in the day and that was provided at some point at Merlin's Keep? Has been royally screwed over, I'm pretty sure. I don't think there's any chance of ever getting our bearings on what is where in Albion at this point. But I'm sure that if I asked, I'd be told to focus on the pretties, so I'll save time and do just that. Even if Tristan isn't quite fitting my definition of pretty.)
Merlin: Without me, he wouldn't last a day.
Arthur: *nods cheerfully*
Merlin: Okay, even I admit this is getting irritating.
All right, I admit, Arthur admitting that he's annoying is funny, but I don't like this continued bespelling. TAKE IT OFF!
Okay, I'm pretty sure Bradley was enjoying the hell out of this, getting to do pure comedy. THAT GOOFY GRIN!
Agravaine: What kind of coward would deny who he is?
AQ: OMG SERIOUSLY?! You of all people asking that, you no-good spying snake in the grass! I FUCKING HATE YOU! MORGANA FUCKING HATES YOU! I HOPE YOU DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG ARTHUR THE TREE-HUGGER!!
Tristan: We're too quick and too smart for the half-wit king in Camelot.
Arthur: *knocks on tree*
Merlin: Okay, you've got me there. This is just embarrassing.
AQ: *sob/laugh*
Oh. A dissappointment? NONONONONO! You're not a dissappointment! MERLIN TELL HIM NOW! Tell him you're just griping! *clings to Arthur* He's not, he's not!
Merlin, you sneaky brat.
Oh shit. Agravaine's on their trail. Everyone's DOOOOOOMED.
Oh, okay, Arthur's back to normal!
HAHAHAHA! Merlin's in such deep trouble now!
Oh crap. Tristan's figured it out. Or not.
And here we go! RUN EVERYONE RUN!
Ooh, love Arthur and Merlin fighting together with crossbows! SO VERY AWESOME!
Uh, guys, not the time to be fighting!
Oh no, Isolde!
*winces* Ouch. That's harsh, Tristan, though, I suppose I can see where he's coming from. Arthur's constant fighting with Morgana, the destruction it brings, it does carry a large degree of misery.
Ah, Morgana, come to gloat, have you?
Sing?! *raises eyebrow* Okay, if this wasn't a family show, I'd be thinking that Morgana plans to have some... fun with him. In private.
Huh, Tristan's rather anti-noble, isn't he? Kind of like Gwaine used to be. *thoughtful* Though, the way Isolde keeps smiling at Merlin, I have a feeling those two are going to get along like a house on fire. *smiles*
Morgana: *smirks at Gwaine*
Gwaine: Normally, I'd be totally down with tapping you, but you're a bit crazy for my taste. I prefer my brunettes sweet and adorable. You're just nuts and are clearly not into hair care. *is proud that his hair is still slightly swishy even after being in the dungeons*
Okay, Gwaine totally wants to kick her ass.
Oh, Merlin. Don't play down your knowledge of Agravaine being a complete and total douchebag. You fucking knew. Gwen told you, and you knew even before that. Seriously.
Oh, Arthur, no! People don't hate you! Morgana doesn't even have any real reason to hate you. Nothing that is your fault, at any rate. Her issues stem from Uther and his inability to accept that he had a daughter, even if she was illegitimate, and didn't think her good enough to succeed him but instead wanted a son to follow after him. That, and she's gone completely around the twist. As for Agravaine... well, I can't really explain that one. I think he thinks he's in love with Morgana, but seriously, how is that an acceptable reason to betray your own blood kin? I'll be asking that every day until I get a satisfactory answer, that's for damn sure. But it isn't you, my darling boy! *clings to him* For all your faults, you are darling and wonderful and sweet and everyone who is even remotely awesome LOVES YOU!
So much faith, Merlin. I think you're going to need it, for both of you.
GWAINE! *flails* NOOOOOO!
Oh my god, Gwaine, I love you and your smartmouth. *glomps him*
Wow. *shudders* That was... kind of freaky and brutal and scary.
God, Morgana, you're such a bitch. WHY?! Please, let there be redemption for you some day, where you will no longer be a cruel, raging harpy. I miss the wonderful, amazing woman you used to be. Gwaine would too, if he didn't keep looking at you like he would gleefully bash your skull in.
EALDOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG HUNITH!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Tristan: I still have my beloved Isolde.
Arthur: Then you are richer than you know.
AQ: *lip trembles* Okay, where's Gwen? Someone get her to Ealdor now so she can cheer Arthur up.
Oh no. They're going to destroy Ealdor, aren't they? Hunith...
*gasp* GWEN!!!!! *hugs her*
Arthur: What are you doing here?
Gwen: This is as good a place as any.
AQ: In other words, fandom totally got it right when we said that Hunith keeps her door open for Merlin and his friends. YES! FANDOM TOTALLY RULES!
Ah, the violins, but hey, I'm not really complaining. At least they didn't just kiss and make up. Hugs are much better. It shows that things are not all magically better with them, but that they're still okay with <3ing each other and they'll work out the details later. ARTHUR IS SAD AND NEEDS CUDDLES!
Oh fuck. SHITFIREMOTHERFUCKINGDAMN THIS NEVER FUCKING ENDS DOES IT?
Oooh, rolling burning cart! HAH! TAKE THAT AGRAVAINE!
And they're on the run again. I hope Ealdor is okay! And Hunith! PLEASE DON'T LET EALDOR AND HUNITH BE HURT FOR SHELTERING ARTHUR AND COMPANY!
Next Week: KILGHARRAH! YES! Agravaine running from fire! Who's the pyro now, you sonofabitch? Arthur looking badass with Leon and Percival behind him! HOLY SHIT AGRAVAINE IS GOING TO FIND OUT ABOUT MERLIN'S MAGIC! Merlin, kill the fucker! Dragoon lighting... some sort of straw thing. Morgana copying Arthur's slow-mo badass routine! HOLY SHIT MORGANA VS GWEN 2.0!! With swords! Arthur getting smacked by Helios! Keep your hands off him, you skeevy bastard! ARTHUR TAKING EXCALIBUR OMFG FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, now it starts. The greatest battle of our time. Because clearly this is huger than last year. Because we actually got to see Camelot get overrun and strung up by its toes. Wow.
I have to say it, I adore this occupation of Camelot much more than the last one. Because this time it's much more dirty and realistic. All we got in terms of that last year was Morgana ordering her men to fire on the innocent people. This year, Morgana's hardcore. And much more bitchy about it too. Last year, you really saw her trying to mind her p's and q's, having the coronation, wearing the crown at all times, looking every inch a queen. This year, she's all, "Fuck that!" and is acting like a party girl and/or a female warlord. Which... is kind of awesome, actually, even if it makes me want to cry.
I especially love the differences in Morgana's armies. Last year, they were fucking zombies, all zombiefied by the Cup of Life (which is probably in the vaults, isn't it? Not good to have that in Morgana's grasp again, I think). This time, these are flesh and blood men, eager for entertainment and such, a reward for their work. And Morgana was eager to give it to them, in the form of Gwaine being a total badass.
Okay, the knights. Let's take stock of who is where. Gwaine? Captured and currently entertaining Morgana and her fratboys men. Elyan? Captured and recovering from being tortured into giving up Arthur's destination. Leon? MIA. Percival? MIA. Lancelot? Still dead, but I'm hoping that Freya's working on that bit and will have news for us next year. Or something.
Oh, and poor Gaius. Relegated to the dungeons and left to starve unless Gwaine sings screws provides entertainment for Morgana. Hopefully we'll get lucky and he'll get to unleash the badass part of himself next week. After all, I still think he was partially responsible for Morgause's condition in the premiere, not just Merlin. So, yes, after the crap Gaius has to put up with, including the return of his problem niece, he should so get a chance to open up a can of whupass on someone next week. Preferably Agravaine if Merlin doesn't fry him or Arthur doesn't gut him with a rusty knife.
Tristan and Isolde. While I love having legend shout-outs as much as the next person, I'm really hoping that this week was a set-up for next week giving them some serious shit to do. Because as lovely as they are (especially Isolde - I may be developing yet another girlcrush), as it stands, their appearance was kind of pointless this week except to heap more abuse on Arthur's battered soul. Tristan sounds even more anti-noble than Gwaine was last year, I think. Isolde is by turns badass and sweet. I wonder if they have a super-secret backstory that ties them further to their legends, like she was a princess destined for marriage to someone she didn't love and shit happened and she ran off with Tristan. Because it would be awesome.
And then we come to Merlin and Arthur. Love that Merlin was intensely loyal and determined to Arthur, but as funny as the results were (I LOLed quite a bit), the obedience spell was a bit much. I think Merlin should have taken it off once they were out of Camelot, possibly not long after they were separated from Percival and Elyan. By then, they were already running for their lives and Merlin would have been able to point out that going back would have been suicide. Letting it just stay on and then wear off didn't seem right in my book, and Arthur's reaction makes me think he might remember at least something, and that Merlin was involved in it.
Acting-wise, though, it was hilarious. I'm guessing that Bradley had the time of his life, acting like a complete loon. The tree-hugging? BEST MOMENT EVER! I think he would have made out with it if he'd been alone! I wonder if the other actors had to keep from busting a gut and keeping in-character over it. I probably would have. *giggles*
AND EALDOR!!! So thrilled to see it again, and Hunith too! Our time with them was very brief, but I hope that Agravaine will be too focused on pursuing Arthur to come up with the idea of punishing the villagers for sheltering Arthur. Because that would just be heartbreaking, if Merlin had to deal with the idea that he brought death and destruction on his people's heads by bringing Arthur to them for shelter. *bites nails*
Next Week: Looking seriously and utterly epic. AND YES! KILGHARRAH WILL BE MAKING AN APPEARANCE! Perhaps he'll show up and tell Arthur of Excalibur and how he needs it to take back Camelot? Because that'd be infinitely preferable to having Dragoon do it. Kilgharrah and Merlin are the only ones who have the right to be involved with the issue of Excalibur.
Though, if Aithusa should happen to be involved to, I could go with that as well.
Still, I think I am most looking forward to GWEN VS. MORGANA 2.0!!! The idea of them battling it out through the corridors? EPICLY AWESOME! I have a feeling that Morgana might take a moment to gloat over the bracelet and whatnot, and thus will help clear up Gwen and Arthur's romantic mess.
I cannot believe that the show is airing on Christmas Eve!!! The libraries are all closed Christmas Day, so that means I'll have to wait and extra day to see it, and that means pretty much avoiding LJ as much as possible to avoid being spoiled. *sob*
EEEEEE!
Ooh, Beltane... let's see, that's a springtime festival. We had Samhain back in the premiere, so therefore the events of this season took place over the fall and winter and now into spring. Also, according to About.com (hey, at least it's not Wikipedia!), Beltane falls on May Day, or May 1, in the northern hemisphere. Samhain would be October 31, so there you go people! A general dating system of when this is all happening! Awesome.
And yes, I am that much of a geek that I actually paused the episode and started looking this stuff up. *headdesk*
Oh Arthur, if anyone could pull off looking kingly in undergarments, it would be you. You could even start a trend! All hot gorgeous noblemen and knights must henceforth go around very scantily clad! Trust me, the women of your kingdom would love you for it.
*giggles* Oh, Merlin, you're such a silly boy.
Ooh, Arthur's putting on weight? Clearly, his heartsickness over Gwen isn't affecting his appetite.
Ah, Agravaine, getting an early start on your evilness are you?
HAHAHAHA! So much for keeping the belt situation a secret. Merlin, you totally did that on purpose, didn't you, just to make Percival choke on his wine.
Oh fuck, invasion time. Agravaine, you sonofabitch. I hate you. Seriously.
Oh, Arthur, don't be sad! You'll see your girlfriend here soon.
EEEK! NINJAS! *flails* Never good.
And Agravaine is getting his pyro on. Bastard.
SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHH! FIRE! So much for having a party.
Oh fuck!
Heh, love Merlin barking orders for people to follow him. Clearly, Merlin has some authority hereabouts.
ELYAN! GUT THAT TRAITOROUS BASTARD!!! GET HIM!
Oh no! Elyan!
Morgana: I don't have time to play soldiers, Agravaine.
Agravaine: *sulks* The old ball 'n chain never lets me have any fun.
Morgana: WHAT WAS THAT?!
Agravaine: *gulps* N-Nothing.
Jeez, this is a lot of men.
Uh, yeah, worst fears, definitely. Remember last week, Gaius? That poor Owen kid? Betcha a gold sovereign that that had something to do with it.
ARTHUR IS A SUPER SLOW-MO BADASS!!!!!!!!
Helios is a knight-flipping, gutting badass, but not as pretty as Arthur. And he's evil, so therefore he loses points on that too.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
HAH! TAKE THAT YOU BASTARDS!
Broken rib or two? *whimpers*
And Arthur sees it with his own eyes, his uncle's treachery. My poor darling...
Merlin: We can deal with your uncle later!
Arthur: *smoldering, wounded rage*
Merlin: I promise!
Arthur: *growls*
Merlin: We'll make it slow and painful! I even know a few torture tricks! I'll use them on him just for you!
Arthur: I will hold you to that.
Get him out, Merlin! *flails*
And Morgana's already taken up residence in the throne room. She loves that throne, doesn't she?
Helios, stop skeeving on Morgana. Seriously.
Oh crap... Gaius, suggesting Merlin enslave Arthur with magic?! WTF? NOT COOL!
Oh no, GWAINE!! And Gaius too?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Morgana hates Gaius! He's a dead man. *frets*
Hunt, my ass, you psychotic bitch whom I still love but cry over incessently because you've been turned into a psychotic bitch. ;_;
Elyan!
Percival: *grabs Elyan by the chainmail* Elyan!
Elyan: *saucy grin* Don't hold back on my account!
Merlin: Dudes, if there isn't time for me and Arthur to have kinky sexy times, then there certainly isn't time for you two! MOVE IT OR LOSE IT SISTERS!
Okay, Merlin, get that spell off of Arthur, right fucking now!
OH FUCK! KILL AGRAVAINE NOW MERLIN!
OH NO! *flings self on Arthur* YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM YOU BASTARDS!
PERCIVAL!! ELYAN!!
Okay, seriously, I know this is supposed to be funny, but I'm not enjoying it. Get the fucking spell off of him.
Agravaine, if you've killed anyone in the reoccurring cast, I will find a way to gut you myself, you bastard. Also, stop the pissing contest with Helios. You already lose because he's prettier than you.
Morgana: Have the people of Camelot welcomed me as their queen?
Agravaine: Uh, no. They prefer blonde monarchs, it seems, to brunettes. Any chance you're willing to dye your hair?
Morgana: Excuse me?
Agravaine: Eep.
Helios: You're such a wimp. Clearly, Her Majesty would prefer a manlier right-hand man.
Agravaine: Excuse me?
Morgana: STFU. Both of you.
Fuck. Morgana's hardcore this year, isn't she?
God, pod!Arthur is freaky. STOP APOLOGIZING ARTHUR! IT'S SCARY!!
O.M.G. Okay, Arthur in tiny peasant clothes is fucking hilarious.
More snakes?! Jeez, Morgana has a serious snake fetish.
God, Morgana's fucking nuts.
ELYAN! NO!
Oh no, he broke. Morgana knows where Arthur and Merlin are going. Not good! Not good at all!
*smirks* Agravaine just got demoted to #2 lackey for being squicked out by torture. Clearly, Morgana is going to choose Helios to be her primary booty call because he is so into that kind of thing like her. I have no sympathy for the bastard.
Elyan: *glassy stare*
Gwaine: What'd they do to him?
Gaius: Tortured him to the limits of human endurance, most likely.
Gwaine: Well. That's cheerful. Nice sign of what it's going to be like under Her Bitchiness.
Agravaine, you do a really bad puppy impression, hoping for a kind pat on the head before you go off to kill your own kin for her. How many times do I have to say it? Morgana's. Not. Interested.
God, she's good at sweet-talking.
Morgana: Find Arthur, and you'll never leave my side again.
Agravaine: Really? SCORE! *skips away*
Morgana: All my minions are idiots.
Okay, I think the spell is wearing off.
Isolde! *squeaks*
Lot's kingdom? So someone new has taken over Cenred's old stomping grounds? Because it was still referred to as Cenred's kingdom back in 4x09.
(Side note: the map of Camelot that the show had drawn up back in the day and that was provided at some point at Merlin's Keep? Has been royally screwed over, I'm pretty sure. I don't think there's any chance of ever getting our bearings on what is where in Albion at this point. But I'm sure that if I asked, I'd be told to focus on the pretties, so I'll save time and do just that. Even if Tristan isn't quite fitting my definition of pretty.)
Merlin: Without me, he wouldn't last a day.
Arthur: *nods cheerfully*
Merlin: Okay, even I admit this is getting irritating.
All right, I admit, Arthur admitting that he's annoying is funny, but I don't like this continued bespelling. TAKE IT OFF!
Okay, I'm pretty sure Bradley was enjoying the hell out of this, getting to do pure comedy. THAT GOOFY GRIN!
Agravaine: What kind of coward would deny who he is?
AQ: OMG SERIOUSLY?! You of all people asking that, you no-good spying snake in the grass! I FUCKING HATE YOU! MORGANA FUCKING HATES YOU! I HOPE YOU DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG ARTHUR THE TREE-HUGGER!!
Tristan: We're too quick and too smart for the half-wit king in Camelot.
Arthur: *knocks on tree*
Merlin: Okay, you've got me there. This is just embarrassing.
AQ: *sob/laugh*
Oh. A dissappointment? NONONONONO! You're not a dissappointment! MERLIN TELL HIM NOW! Tell him you're just griping! *clings to Arthur* He's not, he's not!
Merlin, you sneaky brat.
Oh shit. Agravaine's on their trail. Everyone's DOOOOOOMED.
Oh, okay, Arthur's back to normal!
HAHAHAHA! Merlin's in such deep trouble now!
Oh crap. Tristan's figured it out. Or not.
And here we go! RUN EVERYONE RUN!
Ooh, love Arthur and Merlin fighting together with crossbows! SO VERY AWESOME!
Uh, guys, not the time to be fighting!
Oh no, Isolde!
*winces* Ouch. That's harsh, Tristan, though, I suppose I can see where he's coming from. Arthur's constant fighting with Morgana, the destruction it brings, it does carry a large degree of misery.
Ah, Morgana, come to gloat, have you?
Sing?! *raises eyebrow* Okay, if this wasn't a family show, I'd be thinking that Morgana plans to have some... fun with him. In private.
Huh, Tristan's rather anti-noble, isn't he? Kind of like Gwaine used to be. *thoughtful* Though, the way Isolde keeps smiling at Merlin, I have a feeling those two are going to get along like a house on fire. *smiles*
Morgana: *smirks at Gwaine*
Gwaine: Normally, I'd be totally down with tapping you, but you're a bit crazy for my taste. I prefer my brunettes sweet and adorable. You're just nuts and are clearly not into hair care. *is proud that his hair is still slightly swishy even after being in the dungeons*
Okay, Gwaine totally wants to kick her ass.
Oh, Merlin. Don't play down your knowledge of Agravaine being a complete and total douchebag. You fucking knew. Gwen told you, and you knew even before that. Seriously.
Oh, Arthur, no! People don't hate you! Morgana doesn't even have any real reason to hate you. Nothing that is your fault, at any rate. Her issues stem from Uther and his inability to accept that he had a daughter, even if she was illegitimate, and didn't think her good enough to succeed him but instead wanted a son to follow after him. That, and she's gone completely around the twist. As for Agravaine... well, I can't really explain that one. I think he thinks he's in love with Morgana, but seriously, how is that an acceptable reason to betray your own blood kin? I'll be asking that every day until I get a satisfactory answer, that's for damn sure. But it isn't you, my darling boy! *clings to him* For all your faults, you are darling and wonderful and sweet and everyone who is even remotely awesome LOVES YOU!
So much faith, Merlin. I think you're going to need it, for both of you.
GWAINE! *flails* NOOOOOO!
Oh my god, Gwaine, I love you and your smartmouth. *glomps him*
Wow. *shudders* That was... kind of freaky and brutal and scary.
God, Morgana, you're such a bitch. WHY?! Please, let there be redemption for you some day, where you will no longer be a cruel, raging harpy. I miss the wonderful, amazing woman you used to be. Gwaine would too, if he didn't keep looking at you like he would gleefully bash your skull in.
EALDOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG HUNITH!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Tristan: I still have my beloved Isolde.
Arthur: Then you are richer than you know.
AQ: *lip trembles* Okay, where's Gwen? Someone get her to Ealdor now so she can cheer Arthur up.
Oh no. They're going to destroy Ealdor, aren't they? Hunith...
*gasp* GWEN!!!!! *hugs her*
Arthur: What are you doing here?
Gwen: This is as good a place as any.
AQ: In other words, fandom totally got it right when we said that Hunith keeps her door open for Merlin and his friends. YES! FANDOM TOTALLY RULES!
Ah, the violins, but hey, I'm not really complaining. At least they didn't just kiss and make up. Hugs are much better. It shows that things are not all magically better with them, but that they're still okay with <3ing each other and they'll work out the details later. ARTHUR IS SAD AND NEEDS CUDDLES!
Oh fuck. SHITFIREMOTHERFUCKINGDAMN THIS NEVER FUCKING ENDS DOES IT?
Oooh, rolling burning cart! HAH! TAKE THAT AGRAVAINE!
And they're on the run again. I hope Ealdor is okay! And Hunith! PLEASE DON'T LET EALDOR AND HUNITH BE HURT FOR SHELTERING ARTHUR AND COMPANY!
Next Week: KILGHARRAH! YES! Agravaine running from fire! Who's the pyro now, you sonofabitch? Arthur looking badass with Leon and Percival behind him! HOLY SHIT AGRAVAINE IS GOING TO FIND OUT ABOUT MERLIN'S MAGIC! Merlin, kill the fucker! Dragoon lighting... some sort of straw thing. Morgana copying Arthur's slow-mo badass routine! HOLY SHIT MORGANA VS GWEN 2.0!! With swords! Arthur getting smacked by Helios! Keep your hands off him, you skeevy bastard! ARTHUR TAKING EXCALIBUR OMFG FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, now it starts. The greatest battle of our time. Because clearly this is huger than last year. Because we actually got to see Camelot get overrun and strung up by its toes. Wow.
I have to say it, I adore this occupation of Camelot much more than the last one. Because this time it's much more dirty and realistic. All we got in terms of that last year was Morgana ordering her men to fire on the innocent people. This year, Morgana's hardcore. And much more bitchy about it too. Last year, you really saw her trying to mind her p's and q's, having the coronation, wearing the crown at all times, looking every inch a queen. This year, she's all, "Fuck that!" and is acting like a party girl and/or a female warlord. Which... is kind of awesome, actually, even if it makes me want to cry.
I especially love the differences in Morgana's armies. Last year, they were fucking zombies, all zombiefied by the Cup of Life (which is probably in the vaults, isn't it? Not good to have that in Morgana's grasp again, I think). This time, these are flesh and blood men, eager for entertainment and such, a reward for their work. And Morgana was eager to give it to them, in the form of Gwaine being a total badass.
Okay, the knights. Let's take stock of who is where. Gwaine? Captured and currently entertaining Morgana and her fratboys men. Elyan? Captured and recovering from being tortured into giving up Arthur's destination. Leon? MIA. Percival? MIA. Lancelot? Still dead, but I'm hoping that Freya's working on that bit and will have news for us next year. Or something.
Oh, and poor Gaius. Relegated to the dungeons and left to starve unless Gwaine sings screws provides entertainment for Morgana. Hopefully we'll get lucky and he'll get to unleash the badass part of himself next week. After all, I still think he was partially responsible for Morgause's condition in the premiere, not just Merlin. So, yes, after the crap Gaius has to put up with, including the return of his problem niece, he should so get a chance to open up a can of whupass on someone next week. Preferably Agravaine if Merlin doesn't fry him or Arthur doesn't gut him with a rusty knife.
Tristan and Isolde. While I love having legend shout-outs as much as the next person, I'm really hoping that this week was a set-up for next week giving them some serious shit to do. Because as lovely as they are (especially Isolde - I may be developing yet another girlcrush), as it stands, their appearance was kind of pointless this week except to heap more abuse on Arthur's battered soul. Tristan sounds even more anti-noble than Gwaine was last year, I think. Isolde is by turns badass and sweet. I wonder if they have a super-secret backstory that ties them further to their legends, like she was a princess destined for marriage to someone she didn't love and shit happened and she ran off with Tristan. Because it would be awesome.
And then we come to Merlin and Arthur. Love that Merlin was intensely loyal and determined to Arthur, but as funny as the results were (I LOLed quite a bit), the obedience spell was a bit much. I think Merlin should have taken it off once they were out of Camelot, possibly not long after they were separated from Percival and Elyan. By then, they were already running for their lives and Merlin would have been able to point out that going back would have been suicide. Letting it just stay on and then wear off didn't seem right in my book, and Arthur's reaction makes me think he might remember at least something, and that Merlin was involved in it.
Acting-wise, though, it was hilarious. I'm guessing that Bradley had the time of his life, acting like a complete loon. The tree-hugging? BEST MOMENT EVER! I think he would have made out with it if he'd been alone! I wonder if the other actors had to keep from busting a gut and keeping in-character over it. I probably would have. *giggles*
AND EALDOR!!! So thrilled to see it again, and Hunith too! Our time with them was very brief, but I hope that Agravaine will be too focused on pursuing Arthur to come up with the idea of punishing the villagers for sheltering Arthur. Because that would just be heartbreaking, if Merlin had to deal with the idea that he brought death and destruction on his people's heads by bringing Arthur to them for shelter. *bites nails*
Next Week: Looking seriously and utterly epic. AND YES! KILGHARRAH WILL BE MAKING AN APPEARANCE! Perhaps he'll show up and tell Arthur of Excalibur and how he needs it to take back Camelot? Because that'd be infinitely preferable to having Dragoon do it. Kilgharrah and Merlin are the only ones who have the right to be involved with the issue of Excalibur.
Though, if Aithusa should happen to be involved to, I could go with that as well.
Still, I think I am most looking forward to GWEN VS. MORGANA 2.0!!! The idea of them battling it out through the corridors? EPICLY AWESOME! I have a feeling that Morgana might take a moment to gloat over the bracelet and whatnot, and thus will help clear up Gwen and Arthur's romantic mess.
I cannot believe that the show is airing on Christmas Eve!!! The libraries are all closed Christmas Day, so that means I'll have to wait and extra day to see it, and that means pretty much avoiding LJ as much as possible to avoid being spoiled. *sob*