[Tuesday] UGHHHH
I am stressing so much right now, and I'm not sure why. I have my very last observation of the 4th graders today, and I'm teaching a lesson. I taught one last week, too, which didn't go how I had planned, but anyway. I'm not even required to teach any lessons, so I have no idea why I am so worried about teaching the lesson today. It's not like I'm getting graded or anything. Heck, my professor doesn't even know I'm doing it. But I'm so worried that my stomach is actually hurting. I think it might be because I had that student teacher meeting yesterday, too, and I keep thinking too far ahead and worrying that I'm going to suck at student teaching or that I just won't get it and I'll have to find another major and my whole life plan will go POOF! right before my eyes. I feel like pounding my head against the wall right now to try and shake out all of these crazy thoughts.
Anyway. My lesson is having the kids write a Thanksgiving acrostic poem. Most people would probably think it's a piece of cake. At first, I wrote out a lesson and was like, yeah, I'm done. But then the self-doubt kicks in. The teacher gave me the scoring guide for the assignment, and it said they write phrases. So then I start worrying, what exactly is a phrase? I look it up in the dictionary. Not much help. Why didn't she tell me what she meant by phrase?! I wasn't sure if I should tell them to write one word for each letter in Thanksgiving, or a short sentence. I'm going with the sentence, because after I looked up a bunch of sample acrostic poems at like 12:30am last night when I was in a panic, they usually had more than one word. Like..."Turkey is good." The teacher also told me to focus on an aspect of classroom management. I'm not even sure what they already know as means of teachers getting their attention. Last time I was like,"Eyes up here" but that didn't work. I think I might do the clap thing, where I clap once, they clap once, I clap twice, they clap twice. But what if they've never done that?! Chances are they have. I guess I could tell them when we start the lesson that when I want them to look up here, I'm going to clap first, then they will. But I'm starting the lesson off by the definition of what an acrostic poem is, then we're going to do a sample one together on the board using the word "WINTER," and they'll volunteer phrases to use. Then they'll do theirs, but I have to emphasize they can't use the same word more than once (because there's 2 G's and 2 I's), and that each phrase has to be about Thanksgiving. I guess they'll know what a phrase is after the example we do, plus they're 4th graders, so they should be able to figure it out. I hope. Then I'm not sure what to do while they write their poems. I know I'm supposed to walk around and make sure they're doing it right, but what if they don't need help? Usually the teacher just sits at her desk and lets me go at it, which is kind of stressful, since I barely know her class. I really hope I don't get this stressed out every day of student teaching. But I shouldn't, because I'll be with the same class every single day, and I'll get used to them. Plus they ease you in slowly to teaching lessons, not like this, where my 3rd visit of a couple hours I got thrown into it all. BLAHHHHHHHh.
I have to figure out what to wear, and then bring a change of clothes to wear to my classes tonight. It sucks because the school gets out at 3:45, then I have to be at class from 4:30-9:00. Oh well. I'll survive. I also have to eat something, even though my stomach hurts still so I'm not particularly hungry. At least after today I'm done. I need to just chill, take a deep breath, realize that I'm not going to be anywhere near perfect since I'm still a beginner. And I'm sure the teacher realizes that as well.
Oh, and I'm really mad at the people at Sally's. I got this new flat iron Saturday, and it sucked. So yesterday I took it back to get the one I usually get, and the stupid lady had to say that this other brand is better than the one I usually get. Doesn't she know that I'm very indecisive, and that added 20 minutes to my visit there?! Plus, I tried out that flat iron on my hair today, and it's crappy. So tomorrow, I'm going back, and not listening to anything they say, and just getting the normal flat iron I usually get. Stupid lady at Sally's. Grrrr.