[Friday] wow
So after my whole big fiasco about not knowing what to do today, I had decided to go ahead and go in to work. I figured it was only 4 hours, and it was putting the order up with Jeremy, so the chances of feeling too sick to work or *youknowwho* upsetting me were minimal. Then QT calls my phone, but by the time I picked it up, they already hung up. I figured they were calling to ask me to come in early or something. So I called back and Tom answered, and I asked him what was up, and he was like,"Nothing, just called to say hi, haven't seen you in awhile." So I was like uhhh okay? Then he said they had an extra manager today and got the order put up already, so if I wanted to blow off work tonight and take a Friday off, I could. DUH, of course I would! I don't know if he knew I didn't want to work with *youknowwho* tonight, or maybe somebody said something to him, but whatever the reason, I'll take it. In my whole 3 years at QT I've not once ever gotten a call saying,"hey, we don't need you." But it's awesome and I'm definitely not complaining! I wonder if Jeremy got the same call. And it helps a lot that this is on a shift with somebody I don't particularly care for. In case you can't tell, I'm super excited about this. Tom said remember this when he needs me. So I guess now I owe him one. ;)
In other news, I talked to my mom earlier today and she made some comment about how I had to make it quick because she was at work, when she called in the first place, and I got upset and hung up on her. But then Icalled back to say sorry. I'm a basketcase lately. I didn't go to World Geography because my stomach started hurting, but I emailed my professor the extra credit assignment, hopefully she takes it. My stomach doesn't really hurt anymore, and I don't feel weird...yet, at least. Now I just have to decide if I should go with everyone to the pumpkin patch today. I want to go, but I don't want to start feeling all funky with tons of people around(Paula, Shelly, ERica, grandma, other random people who are going, etc). Or start crying over nothing or something stupid, then they'd think I'm really a freak. I don't want to spend the entire day at dad's house, either, and I kind of think if I go to the pumpkin patch, it will sort of be expected of me to stay. I mean, I'm sure they'd understand if I tell them I don't feel well. I hope this goes away. I also don't want to get super tired like I do at random times. My indecisiveness is getting extremely annoying. I want to see Erica and Brooke, because they're only here until Tuesday, but on the other hand, I just want to lay in bed and sleep. UGH. Maybe I should just skip the pumpkin patch, but go over to dad's later? Then I wouldn't be in the situation where I'm out in Chesterfield feeling sick with no way back home. Because that would not be too enjoyable. I guess I could always hitch a ride back with grandma, because she's driving and coming back around 3:30...
I don't know why, but it stresses me out when I have stuff to do every day. You'd think today would be great because now I don't have to work. But now I just have a whole new set of issues to worry about.
Stop worrying, Angel! Just do what you want, who cares if people get mad or what they think of you. It's your life, not theirs. Stop being so concerned with making other people happy, it's not worth it. You're going to spend your whole life worrying over the little things, and then look back and realize that you never really lived. You just worried. You don't want that, do you? Didn't think so! So instead of thinking about what each and every person will think of you before every step you take, maybe you should try walking a little faster and not giving yourself so much time to think first. -Says the quiet voice of reason in my head, which is all too often drowned out by the worrying I consume myself with.