Dogs and Cats
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
6:00 am - At last! I Go Pee! My favorite thing!
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
6:00 pm - They're home! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with
bizarre dangling objects and reflected light sources. They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
fed hash, gruel or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make
my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless
must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only
thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt
to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at
their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their
hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.
However, they merely made condescending comments about what
a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.
I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the
event. However, I could perceive voices and smell food. I
overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies."
I must learn what this means, and ascertain how to use it to
my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one
of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.
I must try this again tomorrow -- but this time at the top of
the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
obviously retarded. I have tagged the bird the bird as an
informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly.
I am certain that he observes and reports my every move from a
lofty position. My captors have arranged protective custody for
him in his elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...
6:00 am - At last! I Go Pee! My favorite thing!
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
6:00 pm - They're home! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with
bizarre dangling objects and reflected light sources. They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
fed hash, gruel or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make
my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless
must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only
thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt
to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at
their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their
hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.
However, they merely made condescending comments about what
a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.
I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the
event. However, I could perceive voices and smell food. I
overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies."
I must learn what this means, and ascertain how to use it to
my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one
of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.
I must try this again tomorrow -- but this time at the top of
the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
obviously retarded. I have tagged the bird the bird as an
informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly.
I am certain that he observes and reports my every move from a
lofty position. My captors have arranged protective custody for
him in his elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...