Mondays suck
Well, the Hot Fuzz treatment isn't working. I'm no closer to sleep than I was at midnight. The stress of the day hasn't left me; it still swirls in my belly like a ball of worms. Between my husband's back (came home nearly in tears today from work; going to the doctor on Wednesday), my son's lack of employment and his unwillingness to be responsible for his cabana boy chores (I have made out a weekly calendar listing what needs to be done each day, including meals), and my professor's complete and utter lack of ability to teach what will be on the midterm next week (he didn't cover the two chapters at all; instead, he had use converting things to/from hexadecimal), I find at 3:00 am I am wound tighter than the skin to a snare drum.
*rim shot*
I'm med free, not by choice. Tylenol PM leaves me fuzzy for the next day as does the Wal-Mart knock-off of Unisom. Hubby's anti-anxiety meds have run out until his doctor's appointment on Wednesday. I wish I had picked up a bottle of wine when I ran out after class and before finishing-up dinner to pick up some Aleve and a heating pad, though I don't know why since the shot of rum did nothing to help me relax.
Of course, I might be asleep right now if it weren't for hubby's snores, cat licks, boy yells, outside cat meows, etc. Just as I managed to gain a small foothold in peace, some noise would come along and repeal it.
I hate this feeling that I have no control. I can't control my emotions. I can't control my body. I can't control my environment. I can't do anything about my shitty job except attend this shitty class. I should've taken the web course for all the self-study I'm doing. The professor says an hour and half a night to pass the class. I spent four hours at work today. With my dyslexia, I was hoping in-class, hands-on demonstrations would help me learn the material. Instead, I'm having to invest extra time trying to figure it out myself.
But what else am I going to do? Stay in my shitty job until I loose my mind? I can't stay there and I can't keep gliding along on my experience to find the next job. I am going to need certification to stand a chance against the computer science graduates. Age will not be on my side any longer. And this job has taught me that professionalism means very little.
I can't do anything about my son's student loan until the lending agency decides. I can't do anything about arranging for his inheritance until the courts decide. I did put in for vacation time to escort him to his college. I don't like to think much beyond that because then my stress levels will go right through the roof. I can't imagine what it will be like leaving him all the way on the other side of the country. I don't want to imagine what it will feel like when he does just fine as the school year goes along.
Can I have a snack at 3:30 am? Nicholas Angel is accusing Cousin Sissy of the crimes. I think now would be a good time. Of course, if I eat anything, I won't be going to sleep any time soon. Oh, well, I don't think I was anyway.
*rim shot*
I'm med free, not by choice. Tylenol PM leaves me fuzzy for the next day as does the Wal-Mart knock-off of Unisom. Hubby's anti-anxiety meds have run out until his doctor's appointment on Wednesday. I wish I had picked up a bottle of wine when I ran out after class and before finishing-up dinner to pick up some Aleve and a heating pad, though I don't know why since the shot of rum did nothing to help me relax.
Of course, I might be asleep right now if it weren't for hubby's snores, cat licks, boy yells, outside cat meows, etc. Just as I managed to gain a small foothold in peace, some noise would come along and repeal it.
I hate this feeling that I have no control. I can't control my emotions. I can't control my body. I can't control my environment. I can't do anything about my shitty job except attend this shitty class. I should've taken the web course for all the self-study I'm doing. The professor says an hour and half a night to pass the class. I spent four hours at work today. With my dyslexia, I was hoping in-class, hands-on demonstrations would help me learn the material. Instead, I'm having to invest extra time trying to figure it out myself.
But what else am I going to do? Stay in my shitty job until I loose my mind? I can't stay there and I can't keep gliding along on my experience to find the next job. I am going to need certification to stand a chance against the computer science graduates. Age will not be on my side any longer. And this job has taught me that professionalism means very little.
I can't do anything about my son's student loan until the lending agency decides. I can't do anything about arranging for his inheritance until the courts decide. I did put in for vacation time to escort him to his college. I don't like to think much beyond that because then my stress levels will go right through the roof. I can't imagine what it will be like leaving him all the way on the other side of the country. I don't want to imagine what it will feel like when he does just fine as the school year goes along.
Can I have a snack at 3:30 am? Nicholas Angel is accusing Cousin Sissy of the crimes. I think now would be a good time. Of course, if I eat anything, I won't be going to sleep any time soon. Oh, well, I don't think I was anyway.