No, totally cool, don't feel like you have to say no offense or anything! :)
Ally's relationship background; 1st BF: Creeper who would never stop pressuring me for sex 2nd BF: Really slimey guy who made my parents love him, and promised to fake my religion for me so we could get married right out of high school, because he needed me. 3rd BF: Insane person, serious issues, did not want to hold hands, cuddle, be intimate - nothing. And he would never talk to me about it. 4th BF: Mormon... and a bondage freak, but he couldn't do anything more than kiss, and he was very much a 12 year old trapped in a 23 year old body.
None of my relationships have been stellar, or really even good. And you are probably right, I should have balanced the entry out with what makes Oral great for the girl (Which I thought I did? Control, Prowess, Confidence) so that it didn't sound so male centric.
There are a lot of situations where a girl can know she is amazing, and a lot of ways a guy can show he cares. Buying flowers and chocolates and watching chick flicks and all the other stereotypical garbage doesn't really flow both ways you know? Buying flowers for a girlfriend doesn't necessarily give a guy anything but the satisfaction that he "serviced" his girl by making her feel special.
You could make the argument that Oral Sex, while it is a turn on for some girls and a two person party in most relationships; is the flowers & chocolates of a guys life. Those things mean very little to the average man, but great sexual pleasure is almost entirely universal, and if your relationship is of that level... giving a man what he wants when he gives you what you want is a great positive reinforcer.
I am sorry that I came off as making this the only thing or the one thing I believe will work. It's soooo sooo not. But it had been a topic of discussion amongst my guy friends as of late, and I wanted to talk about it in more depth with my girls!
Oral sex should always be about your relationship, and enjoying it. It should not be a chore, or a power play. And it should not be something you are afraid of doing wrong or doing too often/too little.
I guess I'm just trying to say that not every act in a relationship is a balanced coin. Some are gonna be better for one side than the other, but if you have a strong and supportive relationship, or a happy and charismatic one, the communication of what each person needs should be a great way to remind yourself that doing things for him is fun and beneficial for both of you, just like him doing stuff for you is beneficial.
No, totally cool, don't feel like you have to say no offense or anything! :)
Ally's relationship background;
1st BF: Creeper who would never stop pressuring me for sex
2nd BF: Really slimey guy who made my parents love him, and promised to fake my religion for me so we could get married right out of high school, because he needed me.
3rd BF: Insane person, serious issues, did not want to hold hands, cuddle, be intimate - nothing. And he would never talk to me about it.
4th BF: Mormon... and a bondage freak, but he couldn't do anything more than kiss, and he was very much a 12 year old trapped in a 23 year old body.
None of my relationships have been stellar, or really even good. And you are probably right, I should have balanced the entry out with what makes Oral great for the girl (Which I thought I did? Control, Prowess, Confidence) so that it didn't sound so male centric.
There are a lot of situations where a girl can know she is amazing, and a lot of ways a guy can show he cares. Buying flowers and chocolates and watching chick flicks and all the other stereotypical garbage doesn't really flow both ways you know? Buying flowers for a girlfriend doesn't necessarily give a guy anything but the satisfaction that he "serviced" his girl by making her feel special.
You could make the argument that Oral Sex, while it is a turn on for some girls and a two person party in most relationships; is the flowers & chocolates of a guys life. Those things mean very little to the average man, but great sexual pleasure is almost entirely universal, and if your relationship is of that level... giving a man what he wants when he gives you what you want is a great positive reinforcer.
I am sorry that I came off as making this the only thing or the one thing I believe will work. It's soooo sooo not. But it had been a topic of discussion amongst my guy friends as of late, and I wanted to talk about it in more depth with my girls!
Oral sex should always be about your relationship, and enjoying it. It should not be a chore, or a power play. And it should not be something you are afraid of doing wrong or doing too often/too little.
I guess I'm just trying to say that not every act in a relationship is a balanced coin. Some are gonna be better for one side than the other, but if you have a strong and supportive relationship, or a happy and charismatic one, the communication of what each person needs should be a great way to remind yourself that doing things for him is fun and beneficial for both of you, just like him doing stuff for you is beneficial.
I am so glad you commented! YAYERS!
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