(no subject)
I am so stupid. I loved it so much when people commented on how much weight I had lost and now I go an blow it all by eating and eating and eating from the bakery. My weight has shot back up 6lb and I feel bloated, fat and I always will be pale and flabby. I crave people’s comments so much and I just want them to think I am thin. This is never going to happen. I am never going to meet my targets. I am so angry with myself. I want to be able to look back and laugh at this writing when I am eight and a half stone and think How glad I am that I didn’t give up. I love those comments and I love feeling thin. I haven’t felt this fat for so, so long and I hate it. I have eaten two yoghurts, two buns, a bag of crisps and a baked potato today. I am a gross, ugly, white, fat, flabby, stupid cow and I hate myself. I want to be tanned and thin and I only have until May. Your fat ugly body is not getting any more food until Friday night because you are weak and fat and stupid and flabby. The fat is hanging over the side of your chair as you type this and it isn’t going away. You will be the fat sister and the fat bridesmaid and everyone will feel sorry for you. All the good work you have done has been undone and now you have to start again. You have got to lose eight pounds by next Saturday or you have failed. I don’t care how you do it but you are going to. Just remember how much people are watching you and following your progress and how you are going to fail and be laughed at if you don’t lose more weight more quickly. More and more and more because you are disgusting to look at and won’t be pretty until you reach eight and a half stone. Your boyfriend will love you more and people will be jealous of you but you have to do the work and stop being so pathetic. Food is bad for you and you are going to die if you don’t do this.