dumb questions about homeschooling

[angelofmusic128]

Have you ever noticed that even the most intelligent seeming humans are capable of asking extremely stupid questions about homeschooling?  I found this the other day and it's sooooooo true.  I think maybe I'll have to use one of these. He he he....

Ask a stupid question...

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  Have you ever noticed that even the most intelligent seeming humans are capable of asking extremely stupid questions about home/unschooling? Although I am always too polite to retaliate, the following answers always run through my mind when I hear the following questions:
  
  Do your parents make you homeschool?
  
  • Yes, they chain me up in a deep, dank basement and force me to learn independently.
  • Yes, they do. In my heart of hearts, I really *want* to spend 6 hours a day in a stuffy classroom filled with stupid people, listening to a rude and irrational teacher rant incessantly.
  • No, I make them homeschool me.
  
  Do you have any friends?
  
  • Friends? We don't need no steenkin friends!
  • Yes, let me introduce you to my pal Harvey. Say hello, Harvey.
  • No, I'm a misanthrope sociopath who would rather die a thousand deaths than be socialized normally.
  
  How do you meet people?
  
  • I have found that painting myself blue and running through the streets screaming is a very effective way to meet people.
  • I go to a playgroup!
  • Actively seeking out human companionship is illogical.
  
  Do you get graded?
  
  • I grade myself. I am very proud of myself for maintaing my 4.0 GPA.
  • Grades are determined each semester by a coin toss.
  • Grades? What are those?
  
  How do you know what to do without a teacher telling you?
  
  • I am omniescent.
  • I visit the library and pick books at random. Those books then become my curriculum for that semester. Last semester, I studied alternative physics, macamre, tomato growing, and plot flaws in Star Trek the Next Generation episodes.
  • The little green aliens who live under my desk tell me what to do.
  
  How do you remember to work without a teacher nagging you?
  
  • I'm a very bossy person, and therefore I get on my nerves all the time by nagging myself to do homework.
  • Why would I need to be nagged? I love doing algebra homework!
  • I bribe myself. Whenever I finish a homework assignment, I give myself a gold star or a cookie.
  
  Is homeschooling legal?
  
  • No. In fact, you could even be arrested for aiding and abbeting a criminal just by talking to me!
  • Yes. The government wants as many of us smartaleck, self motivating brats out of their high schools as possible.
  • No. We live in a dictatorial police state where being different is punishable by death.
  
  Do you like homeschooling?
  
  • No. I hate it. I wish I were dead!
  • Dude, I love homeschooling. In fact, I love everything. Peace and Love, man.
  • Not particularly. I tolerate homeschooling only because the alternative is so horrendous.
  
  Are you going to homeschool your kids?
  
  • With any luck, my offspring will be born on an asteroid colony, where homeschooling is the only viable means of education.
  • What kids?
  • Certainly! In fact, my children will undergo an accelerated education, so that they are ready for college classes by the age of 10.
  
  You must be pretty smart to homeschool, huh?
  
  • Actually, my intelligence level is below normal. I have simply aquired an immense vocabulary through memorization, which often fools humans into believing that I am more intelligent than I actually am.
  • I am a super genius, and my superior intellect allows me to take full advantage of non traditional methods of education.
  • Duh, what?