(no subject)
Well today sucked. School was fine. it still sucks but that's nothing new. Mrs Monroe and mr bailey weren't here so that was good. Josiah pissed me off once again. that also is nothing new. Jaime gave me a ride home and I was sitting outside talking to chelse on the phone. my mother is in jail. I found this out a couple of days ago. (this is a usual thing... in case you didn't know. she's always in and out of jail but she hasn't been it a while.) She had her friend who was in the cell across from her call and ask us to bringher books and magazines because there wasn't a phone in her cell. Then today she called like 5 times while I was on the phone with chelsea and I really didn't want to talk to he so I didn't anwser it. Finally I clicked over and when it says from "(Name)" she's all crying and is like "it's vicki please pick up" and so I finally picked up. this is basically how the conversation went( give or take a few words of course)
"is mom there?" (mom)
"no grandma when to drop Ian off"
"do you know if she's gonna drop some books off for me? That's all I'm asking for is just some books."
"I think she is I dont know when though."
" okay will you remind her?"
"yes"
"were you not gonna pick up the phone when I called?"
"no I really wasn't particualarly wanting to talk to you. I'm still mad mom"
"i know I know you should be" (by this time I'm getting angry and upset)
"Mother! it's been three years you haven't called... wrote... came to visit or anything and you call now? when you're in jail?!? Yes I do have a right to be mad at you"
(she's all crying and shit) then she asked if my brother's were there and they weren't. Then she asked me to remind my grandma again. and I said I would. then she was like okay I love you Hayley. And I was like Mom I love you too and I always will but I'm very mad at you. I haven't seen you in three years and I miss you. and she was like I miss you too.
God I hate when she does this to me. I DO love her. she's my mother. She's a great person I promise you! but if she would get off of the fucking drugs she'd realize what she's missing! Her kids are growing up and she's never gonna have our childhoods. i dont understand how a mother can just leave her children. It just hurts me to know that she doesn't care enough to call or visit or anything other than when she's in jail. I HATE IT!!!! And after that I was all upset and I didn't know where to go so I woke my grandpa up and asked him if i could go to amandas and he starts chewing me out about how I shouldn't have woken him up because of that and I just wanted to break down and cry but I dont want to talk to him about it because I absolutely HATE him! so I went down to amandas. She came outside and I told her what happened and I just broke down and started to cry. i thought I was fine with the whole "mom" thing. I was living without her just fine and she has to come abck and upset me all over again. I was finally okay! My family is so fucked up... Idont think I can ever just have a happy family. I hate my mom for this. She puts me through all of this shit and for what? i dont get it. it's like she doesn't care at all. you know what FUCK HER! I don't need her. I've gotten by without her for the past 5 years. I dont need her.
bye guy I love you..
hayley
"is mom there?" (mom)
"no grandma when to drop Ian off"
"do you know if she's gonna drop some books off for me? That's all I'm asking for is just some books."
"I think she is I dont know when though."
" okay will you remind her?"
"yes"
"were you not gonna pick up the phone when I called?"
"no I really wasn't particualarly wanting to talk to you. I'm still mad mom"
"i know I know you should be" (by this time I'm getting angry and upset)
"Mother! it's been three years you haven't called... wrote... came to visit or anything and you call now? when you're in jail?!? Yes I do have a right to be mad at you"
(she's all crying and shit) then she asked if my brother's were there and they weren't. Then she asked me to remind my grandma again. and I said I would. then she was like okay I love you Hayley. And I was like Mom I love you too and I always will but I'm very mad at you. I haven't seen you in three years and I miss you. and she was like I miss you too.
God I hate when she does this to me. I DO love her. she's my mother. She's a great person I promise you! but if she would get off of the fucking drugs she'd realize what she's missing! Her kids are growing up and she's never gonna have our childhoods. i dont understand how a mother can just leave her children. It just hurts me to know that she doesn't care enough to call or visit or anything other than when she's in jail. I HATE IT!!!! And after that I was all upset and I didn't know where to go so I woke my grandpa up and asked him if i could go to amandas and he starts chewing me out about how I shouldn't have woken him up because of that and I just wanted to break down and cry but I dont want to talk to him about it because I absolutely HATE him! so I went down to amandas. She came outside and I told her what happened and I just broke down and started to cry. i thought I was fine with the whole "mom" thing. I was living without her just fine and she has to come abck and upset me all over again. I was finally okay! My family is so fucked up... Idont think I can ever just have a happy family. I hate my mom for this. She puts me through all of this shit and for what? i dont get it. it's like she doesn't care at all. you know what FUCK HER! I don't need her. I've gotten by without her for the past 5 years. I dont need her.
bye guy I love you..
hayley