(no subject)
1. Normally I'm not a cuddly person (mostly because I'm too tall/big to feel small in most guys arms... it bugs me for some reason -although I love being tall more than anything. I think it's the being big (see I'm ignoring the word fat here -because I don't think I am... I'm just not skinny either. Fuck.) that bugs me.) Anyway, I'm normally not a cuddly person, but sleeping in my bed by myself after 4 nights of James being there felt wierd. Only 4 days. Fuck. He leaves Thursday.
2. I'm loving New Zealand but also wondering what else I can get out of it... how life-changing will this be? I'm sure it'll be impossible to figure out until I've been back for months... but I wan't something profound now. Maybe I'm just impatient.
3. I again am feeling friendless... where's the never-lessining high school friendships? where's Geni and our pick-up-where-we-left-off-always vibe? I'm the one that always chooses to leave, but there's something to be said for sticking around your friends. You always want what you can't have right?
4. Again in the you-always-want-what-you-can't-have vibe.... I want my Mom. I want to live in Van for the rest of my life, I love it there, but I also want to live within visiting distance (ie drop by for afternoon tea) of my Mom. While my grandparents are both alive, this is impossible as she won't leave Ontario, and I won't suck it up and live there.
5. I'm feeling too full. I ate too much chocolate. I am a chocoholic... but my eating in general is way better. I'm eating less/healthier/less binging (even while drunk). But I still love my chocolate...
6. I don't know what posessed me to write numbered points. I just felt like I need to put my thoughts in order.
7. I thought I failed (like failed hardcore -ie 30%) my philosophy test, I got a 71%. wow. yay for bullshit metaphysics.
8. I have a philosophy essay to write, a tourism book to finish, essay to write, and seminar to research/plan/write and a camping trip to plan. I have a phse 312 lab assignment to do, paper to hand in, exam to practice/study for and write. I also have a phse 310 project to do and lab to do. Alas I am unmotivated to do ANY of it.
9. I wanted to go to the step class... but not without Justine. I'll go bike etc. instead. now.
10. I just looked at my clock. It's 4:20... I miss smoking weed as much as I used to. I'm sure it's probably good for me though. I started smoking cigarettes when drunk again though. Haven't done that since I dated Paul... probably because none of my friends smoke. I'd never buy them though, just bum. But I can finally see why they're addicting (I never got it before), but now I get this wierd shaky feeling for a while after smoking them. I think I'd have to be a chain-smoker though as it wears off in around 10 minutes. Not about to do that -that's for sure. Ewww gross.....
11. I said "though" way too many times in that last entry. I should shut up, these entries are boring and no one reads them anyway.
12. The End
13. Cx
2. I'm loving New Zealand but also wondering what else I can get out of it... how life-changing will this be? I'm sure it'll be impossible to figure out until I've been back for months... but I wan't something profound now. Maybe I'm just impatient.
3. I again am feeling friendless... where's the never-lessining high school friendships? where's Geni and our pick-up-where-we-left-off-always vibe? I'm the one that always chooses to leave, but there's something to be said for sticking around your friends. You always want what you can't have right?
4. Again in the you-always-want-what-you-can't-have vibe.... I want my Mom. I want to live in Van for the rest of my life, I love it there, but I also want to live within visiting distance (ie drop by for afternoon tea) of my Mom. While my grandparents are both alive, this is impossible as she won't leave Ontario, and I won't suck it up and live there.
5. I'm feeling too full. I ate too much chocolate. I am a chocoholic... but my eating in general is way better. I'm eating less/healthier/less binging (even while drunk). But I still love my chocolate...
6. I don't know what posessed me to write numbered points. I just felt like I need to put my thoughts in order.
7. I thought I failed (like failed hardcore -ie 30%) my philosophy test, I got a 71%. wow. yay for bullshit metaphysics.
8. I have a philosophy essay to write, a tourism book to finish, essay to write, and seminar to research/plan/write and a camping trip to plan. I have a phse 312 lab assignment to do, paper to hand in, exam to practice/study for and write. I also have a phse 310 project to do and lab to do. Alas I am unmotivated to do ANY of it.
9. I wanted to go to the step class... but not without Justine. I'll go bike etc. instead. now.
10. I just looked at my clock. It's 4:20... I miss smoking weed as much as I used to. I'm sure it's probably good for me though. I started smoking cigarettes when drunk again though. Haven't done that since I dated Paul... probably because none of my friends smoke. I'd never buy them though, just bum. But I can finally see why they're addicting (I never got it before), but now I get this wierd shaky feeling for a while after smoking them. I think I'd have to be a chain-smoker though as it wears off in around 10 minutes. Not about to do that -that's for sure. Ewww gross.....
11. I said "though" way too many times in that last entry. I should shut up, these entries are boring and no one reads them anyway.
12. The End
13. Cx